Saturday, August 8, 2020

Revenge Of The Week: Noisy Neighbors Get Silenced


Nothing is worse than crossing paths with an inconsiderate pack of neighbors that just won't quiet down. Fortunately, this guy was ready to take matters into his own hands, and ultimately engineered some sweet, blessed silence. 

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Text - r/ProRevenge u/GhostOfSorabji • 292d + Join 1 3 1 Noisy neighbour gets silenced Back in the Eighties, I lived in a flat in South-East London. The flat was located in a small tower block ten stories high with four flats per floor, one per corner as it were. The flat overlooked a local park and afforded very nice views of the area. The neighbours were generally very amenable but everybody tended to keep to themselves, so no one had any problems with anyone. That all changed when a new famil

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Text - lived on the eighth). They were not the most gracious of individuals, frequently leaving rubbish bags strewn around their floor's lobby for days, rather than depositing them in the communal bins, and parking their cars in other residents' allocated parking spots- in other words, the epitome of the appellation "chav". Complaints to the local council invariably fell on deaf ears. They soon developed a reputation for hosting loud drunken parties at the weekends which tended to go past midnig

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Text - At around 10:00pm we heard the music start up, but it now appeared that the hosts had recently purchased a new sound system, because the bass was now intolerably loud. I can only surmise that a peculiarity of the building's design, coupled with what sounded like much larger bass speakers, appeared to magnify the effect in our bedroom to the point where it made it quite impossible to sleep. At about 11:30pm, I trotted downstairs and knocked on their door. It was flung open by what I could

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Text - So I go back upstairs and call the non-emergency police number and explained the situation. They assured me that someone would be around in due course-being a Friday night, I reckoned it might take an hour or two. So, with much wailing and gnashing of teeth, we sat there waiting for the cops to rock up. Sure enough, about an hour later, I saw a patrol car pull up and a couple of London's finest enter our building. A few moments later, the music gets turned down and the police leave. No so

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Text - They finally arrive around 3am and once again the music is reduced to a sensible level. Unfortunately, shortly after they depart, back up goes the volume to its previous furniture-shaking intensity. As you might imagine, by now I was royally pissed off. 'Er indoors too (someone not normally prone to displays of anger) was positively foaming at the mouth, and looked like she was single-handedly going to re- enact the Battle of Austerlitz in glorious Technicolor, together with full orchestr

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Text - <cue maniacal cackling whilst twirling imaginary moustache> Grabbing my toolkit, I crept down the stairwell to the second floor, just to double-check the actual flat number. Having confirmed the number, I went back up to the fourth floor. In the stairwell just next to the exit door to the fourth floor lobby was a wooden access door that concealed one of the two electrical distribution panels for the entire building. The door was only secured by dint of a simple square-key fitting, and the

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Text - Now by one of those happy coincidences that usually only occur in the more egregious examples of the Hollywood B-movie, I just happened to have in my toolkit a dead fuse of exactly the same type and capacity. A few weeks previously l'd had to replace a similar fuse in the theatre where I worked, and l'd absent-mindedly tossed the dead fuse in my toolbox where l'd promptly forgotten about it-until now. Now, with all my ducks in a neat row, I pulled the fuse carrier for the miscreant's flat

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Text - Instant. Blessed. Silence. I rapidly swapped the live fuse for the dead one, and reinserted the carrier. Securing everything back up again, I casually strolled back upstairs to enjoy a few hours in the hallowed arms of Morpheus. Addendum: some weeks later, the troublesome family were moved out of their flat. It transpired that the local council had received so many noise complaints over the previous six months that they were obliged to rehouse them elsewhere.

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