Sunday, August 2, 2020

Random Tumblr Gems To Tumble Through


Oh boy, we're back at it again with a fresh collection of strange, hilarious, and completely unexpected Tumblr gems. The Tumblr community never fails to keep us on our toes with their wild rabbit holes and long winded fan theories. For some more gold from Tumblr check out these random cowboy phrases that made for great life advice, and also there's another fun Tumblr thread on a legendary bus catching story.

1.

Text - jncoes there r real teens out there who think discovering nirvana is a special achievement shewhositsupontheethroneovnibiru isnt that kinda the whole point of buddhism danny-lohner This post is slowly killing me 354,225 notes

2.

Text - REI tilthat TIL - You can skip piracy warnings and trailers on a DVD by pressing STOP→STOP→ PLAY via reddit.com newkidsonmycock31 i can't wait to do this 10 years ago

3.

Text - kingcheddarxvii Had a dream just now that Macklemore was named TIME magazine's Most Muggable Musician and he showed up at an interview to accept the award and they mugged him heroque What's the point of mugging someone who only has $20 in their pocket zhouenlaid $20 can get you many peanuts specterofcommunism explain how craftbeerhallputsch Money can be exchanged for goods and services Source: kingcheddarxvii 388,118 notes

4.

Text - inabasket: My mom talked in her sleep a lot when I was in high school. I could usually hold an entire conversation with her while she was sleeping. Once I heard her mumble, "I know everything." I told her she didn't know algebra, and she assured me she did. So I asked, "What's a polynomial?" And with the authority of a thousand professors, she stated, "It's when there's no toy in your Happy Meal."

5.

Text - froglit Follow imagine if we all just started ignoring celebrities tho froglit Follow i cant stop thinking about how funny this would be. imagine kylie jenner posting a selfie n it gets 12 likes 69,960 notes

6.

Text - transcharlesxavier i went to my first physics lecture this quarter and the professor literally told us "i wrote the textbook for this course but i'm going to pirate it for you guys because i hate my publishers" autumngracy A true People's hero

7.

Text - K REI i tilthat TIL The Beatles approached Stanley Kubrick to direct a LOTR movie starring themselves. Tolkien killed the project as a result of his hate for The Beatles. A hate developed after moving 3 doors down from The Beatles in 1964, who irked him with the “indescribable" noise from their practice sessions. via ift.tt robstmartin the man who spents hundreds of pages describing trees and meals and worked out the linguistics of multiple fictional languages and the entire cosmology of

8.

Text - Text - gaymilesedgeworth one of my friends is a very pregnant dog and like 3 times a day i say to her "hello! you are full of several other smaller dogs!" and she wags her entire body at me like "it's true!!! i contain multitudes" brehaaorgana i love that ur friend is the pregnant dog. what a nice friend to have. gaymilesedgeworth ya she's my buddy i love her! gaymilesedgeworth update: there were five (5) smaller dogs inside my dog friend, but now they are all outside of her instead (!!)

9.

Text - Text - mysticmoonhigh So I was talking to a boy today and called him "dude" and he goes, “Hey, I'm not your dude. I want to go by bro." And the very first thing that popped into my head was 'wow, he has preferred bronouns'. kiriamaya omg Source: mysticmoonhigh 311,691 notes > L

10.

Text - Text - A tilthat Follow TIL of Carl, a 5-year-old deaf boxer who is unbothered by court noises and accompanies kids during depositions and trials. He offers a sense of protection for children while they face their abusers in court. via reddit.com shabadadu Follow Dude I really honest to god thought there was some 5 year old professional boxer out here helping other kids and like to find out its about a dog just really shook my core

11.

Text - Text - june-and-the-ocean: egberts: if you try to tell me cold doesnt have a smell you're wrong when its really cold you can literally smell how cold it is SWEET JESUS SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS OH MY GOD. I TELL PEOPLE THAT IT SMELLS "SHARP" WHEN IT'S COLD AND PEOPLE THINK I'M FUCKING INSANE. DEAR CHRIST COLD SMELLS THE SAME WAY SOME METALS SMELL Rain smells round, cold smells sharp, and spring in general smells curly. and heat smells fat and heavy

12.

Text - Text - dragon-in-a-fez Norse mythology: right so the universe is all centred around this giant fucking interdimensional space tree, and Earth is at one of its roots, and it grows up through all these other realms with like giants and shit in them, and the gods live in the two at the top Greek mythology: fuck uhh the gods live on that hill right over there lol

13.

Text - Text - LESIAN AVENGERS WE RECRUIT sapphicscholar Follow I was giving a big lecture today, so my wife came out to watch. Afterwards I was talking to a line of students, but she had to go back to work, so I blew her a kiss and called out, "Love you!" Anyway fun fact: turns out she still passes as a student. Less fun fact: there are now a handful of students who think I yelled, "I love you," at one of their classmates.

14.

Text - Text - accendas i literally dont talk to anyone unless they talk to me first viewtiful-kim NPC Energy rah-bizzle Recently I was in a public place, chatting quietly with my friends, and this unattended child came out of nowhere and asked me to clarify one of the things l'd said. So I explained myself to this kid, and as soon as he got an answer, he turned around without saying anything and continued on his way. It really felt like he'd just walked up to me and pressed A. Source: versacetbh

15.

Text - Text - amaristotle S lillaology wow-david My parrot has a vague understanding of the word “no." He knows to stop doing what he's doing when he hears it, and he knows how to say it. He knows it's a word that is used when he's doing something he shouldn't be doing. However, being told "no" doesn't make him stop doing it in future. If he's ever out of my sight or if I'm not paying attention, I know exactly when he's doing something bad. Because he says "no" to himself as he does it. 16,159 n

16.

Text - Text - coolthingoftheday Ooho! Water you con eot Ooho! is an edible, biodegradable plastic water bottle that can be eaten. It is made from seaweed and calcium chloride, and costs only two cents per orb to manufacture. (Source) durbikins *goes into a bar and orders water orb like A Bug's Life* akoolguy *slams down 50 cents* ORBS ARE ON ME TONIGHT BOYS

17.

Text - Text - o just-shower-thoughts Paper has 6 sides, yet we can only use 2 of them effectively. the-inarticulate-chikin the other four are for bloodshed 11,667 notes

18.

Text - Text - argumate the human stress response seems so maladaptive! cargopantsman To be fair 99% of our evolutionary stress response was meant to deal with far more immediately conclusive scenarios than the tedious bullshit we put up with these days. argumate very very slow tigers are chasing me yellbug not to leave a serious comment on a silly post but one of the best pieces of advice I ever got about stress was to SLEEP but secondly, when overwhelmed, lay in a bed and intentionally hold all

19.

Text - Text - bisexual-cryptid i ate an edible and saw cats 2019 and let me tell you i was NOT ready for the main cats name to be my name too and when one of those fuckers onscreen said my name i JUMPED bisexual-cryptid cats on a 50 ft tall screen: "VICTORIA!" me, white-knuckle gripping my bfs forearm: "we have to go right now immediately or i am GOING to die."

20.

Text - Text - snifl my first joke i ever made was drawing a comic where two people are staring at a dress in the window of a store. one of them says "I would die for that dress" and the other says "i would kill for that dress" and then they look at each other awkwardly. snifl this was when i was like 6 and every day i wake up knowing l'll never be able to top this, my magnum opus. Source: snifl

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