Saturday, July 25, 2020

Most Creative Insults People Have Heard


Someone on AskReddit got a thread going about the most creative insults that people have ever encountered. We've always had an appreciation for rare insults that went the extra mile in terms of spicy banter. These creative insults are right up there with the best of the hilariously precise rare insults.

1.

Text - CheeseSamosas • 22h "You've gotta stop using your head as just a container for your teeth" Reply 1.8k ...

2.

Text - Jingothejumper • 21h "You look like the kind of person who could fail a DNA test" Reply 748 ...

3.

Text - Khal_Andy90 • 22h "You're right at the top of the Bell Curve aren't you.." Brilliant because it sounds like a compliment. Reply 1.0k ...

4.

Text - vegancunts • 20h "You have room temperature IQ" I can't remember where it is from, but I say it all of the time. Reply 146

5.

Text - llcucf80 • 22h Something I heard on Malcolm in the Middle, and it's seared in the back of my mind and I will use this against someone someday. I can't wait until then: In one episode Lois is out with her boys and their new neighbors. The neighbor kids were acting up and their mom wasn't doing anything about it, so Lois asked that mom to take care of her kids. To which that mom said, "are you questioning my parenting?" Lois responded, "I don't know how I can, I haven't seen any." I'm just

6.

Text - feinsteins_driver • 21h I've been called worse things by better people Reply 1 405

7.

Text - Delica • 21h "If you ate trash, it would be cannibalism." I was mad about a tweet. Reply 1 1.1k ...

8.

Text - benmac42069• 21h "I bet when people ask your parents about you they change the subject" Reply 621 ...

9.

Text - Goaheadidareyou • 22h Some guy was mocking me for looking young so I told him l'd rather have baby face than a face that looks like smoked salmon. He got pissed but his mate stopped him and said no, that's fair. Reply 478 ...

10.

Text - frorefjord • 22h "Your nose is so large you could smoke a cigarette in the shower" My brother Reply 319

11.

Text - Quizzicalnonsense • 20h Why hasn't natural selection bred you out yet Reply 1 88 ...

12.

Text - entomofile • 19h "I do desire us to be better strangers." - Shakespeare Honestly any line by Billy Shakes is good. Much Ado about Nothing is filled with barbs. Reply 157 ...

13.

Text - feedthehogs • 21h Was at a baseball game. Dude in the crowd yells to the batter: "I've seen better swings on a porch!" Reply 660 ...

14.

Text - AnotherJasonOnReddit • 22h A quote from Firefly: "I'm guessing you weren't burdened with an overabundance of schooling." Reply 677 ...

15.

Text - Dominusatrox• 21h If you were any dumber you would have to be watered twice a week. Reply 207 ...

16.

Text - BorisTheHangman • 21h That boy couldn't pour piss out of a boot with the directions written on the heel. Reply 173 ...

17.

Text - Limp_Distribution • 21h Neutrinos don't go through you do they? Reply 120 ...

18.

Text - Lenrok • 21h GLADOS from portal about weathley: He's not just a regular moron. He's the product of the greatest minds of a generation working together with the express purpose of building the dumbest moron who ever lived. And you just put him in charge of the entire facility. I love portal. I hope valve learns to count to 3. Reply 200 ...

19.

Text - rufio824 • 20h The Sandlot: If my dog was as ugly as you, I would paint a face on its butt and teach it to walk backwards Reply 43 ...

20.

Text - dianaildiko • 19h "You look like the type of person who walks in a restaurant two minutes before closing" Reply 1 38 ...

21.

Text - Back2Bach • 22h "You're like a dumb doorbell that doesn't know its ding from its dong." Reply 1 57 ...

22.

Text - DoctorDisco2564 • 21h They can fill a library with things you don't know. They do, and they call them libraries. Reply 1 40 ...

23.

Text - DemonicCatapult • 14h I was mad at my parents and told them, "I'm glad I'm adopted!" (I'm not) Dad didn't miss a beat. "That sucks." My dumbass, "Why?" "Cuz that means there's two families that don't want you." Reply 22 ...

24.

Text - HotWilbury • 20h "You're either an excellent actor or a huge moron." "It's amazing how the room lightens up when you leave." "Either a kick in the balls or a chromosome will do you good." (Bit offensive, sorry) "No wonder your parents try to switch subjects everytime you come up." Reply 49 ...

25.

Text - F10HC8 • 22h You're the human version of internet explorer. Reply 327 ...

26.

Text - Dakujem • 21h I've always found the insult "You're not being the person Mr Rogers knew you could be" tends to calm people down and make people reflective. Reply 225 ...

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