Sunday, July 5, 2020

Comedian Applies For Job At NASA, Hilarious Rejection Letter Ensues


Well, at least he went for it. And on top of that, NASA handled the clear, glaring case of him being unqualified for the job with a hilarious rejection letter. 

1.

Text - NASA Rejection Letter in Alex Falcone Jun 17 · 3 min read You may recall that back in March, NASA accepted applications to their 2021 class of astronauts. I've been dreaming about this since I was a small child, so I couldn't wait to apply. Sadly, I received bad news this week that my application was not accepted. I've posted the entire rejection letter here in hopes of saving others from the heartbreak of trying to live your dreams. Don't shoot for the stars because if you miss, you floa

2.

Text - Dear Alexander, We regret to inform you that your application to our Astronaut candidate program does not meet our stated qualifications. We normally do not write a detailed response to applications of this but there were a few matters you type, raised in your application that we believe need to be addressed. First and most importantly, you do not meet the minimum requirement of "a Master's degree or higher in a relevant field." According to your application, you "have seen Masters of the

3.

Text - personal note, I'd like to suggest that it's not healthy for a person of your age to still take the time to settle scores with high school teachers, but that's beyond the scope of this letter. In the section for other relevant skills, you only said that you enjoyed the scene in Apollo 13 where they "made a fucked up air filter out of socks" – which is not what happened – and that you "liked space Legos almost as much as the pirate Legos" as a kid. Why would you specifically mention LEGO i

4.

Text - we should hire you and also the very people who are reading this are "those nerds." Even still, your reasons were particularly unpersuasive. In future applications to any employer, we advise you to refrain from mentioning that you "have always wanted to poop into a vacuum cleaner." As for your physical qualifications. While we no longer require pilot experience, your request that you "always sit in the front seat because I get a little motion sick" does not instill confidence. You used a

5.

Text - page of questions for us, and while this is also not standard procedure, out of an abundance of generosity have decided to answer some of them. 1. No, astronauts do not currently get a "plus one" to the moon. 2. Yes, you would be required to notify your wife if you were going to the moon. I'm sorry she “is a worrier." 3. No, we would never agree to your request for "no meetings before noon." 4. We have no idea what you mean by "does riding a rocket feel similar to riding a washing machine

6.

Text - 6. No, we do not need your suggestions for new names for our administration. And anyway, "We're Space Ninjas So Suck On That, Russia" doesn't fit current government naming guidelines. 7. No, we would not be personally hurt if you apply to the Russian space program at the same time. Good luck with that. 8. We cannot and will not respond to the question "can I still jerk it up there?" Although we do not have a position to offer you and would appreciate it if you don't apply again, we apprec

7.

Transport - Regards, LT Benjamin Paradise Senior HR Manager National Aeronautics and Space Administration NASA

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Tagged: nasa , job , work , ridiculous , funny , comedian
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