Sunday, June 28, 2020

Best Man Gets Demoted, Skips Friend's Wedding


This guy asked the people of Reddit's AITA section if he was in the wrong for calling out his buddy, and skipping said buddy's wedding, after he demoted him from being best man at his wedding. The overwhelming consensus here is that the groom was a toxic piece of work that showed no appreciation for all of his buddy's hard work. 

1.

Text - AITA for not going to wedding after agreeing to be best man? Not the A-hole Last year my best childhood friend (28M) asked me (28M) to be best man at his wedding, and I happily agreed. I think the process brought us closer together as we talked weekly for the next few months planning logistics and the bachelor party. I worked hard on the bachelor party, which was a far away vacation. I spent months planning, and lots of money. I found time in everyone's schedule and booked an amazing vaca

2.

Text - I guess I was out of my element, however, because my friend later told me that he felt like he bonded with his other friends better that weekend, and how he wants one of them to be the bestman instead. So I calmly told him that's fine, and that I won't be coming to the wedding because I feel like my efforts as a pre-bestman were underappreciated, and I feel uncomfortable traveling to spend a days with people who make me feel that way. He got upset, and his fiance told me I should "grow up

3.

Text - called me an asshole, so AlITA? TL;DR: I agreed to be friend's bestman, then he changed his mind over a year later after I fulfilled pre- wedding bestman duties, and I decided not to go to the wedding. 20.2k 1.4k 1 Share

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Text - bruuhh1234 • 1d • Asshole Aficionado [12] E 4 Awards NTA- You don't ask someone to be your best man and then demote them. Especially not to pick someone who is just a "spur of the moment best friend" vs a lifelong best friend. Reply 32.0k ...

5.

Text - Karllobo • 1d • Asshole Aficionado [11] NTA He swapped you out after you spent the time to plan his stag do. What an absolute melt. You're better off without him. Reply 9.8k ...

6.

Text - mollygr96 • 1d NTA – revoking someone's best man status is petty and it should only be done if something bad happened. It sounds like you worked really hard and your work went unappreciated. I wouldn't go either. Reply 1.2k ...

7.

Text - NotASkeltal • 1d • Partassipant [3] Total NTA mate, the guy is a inconsiderate dick. 1. Don't do the wedding. 2. Walk out from that "friendship". 3. ????????? 4. Profit! Reply 1.6k ...

8.

Text - CelticSkye • 1d • Asshole Enthusiast [5] NTA - Demoting someone from best man status AFTER you've spent a shit ton of money for an actual vacation as a bachelor party because you didn't immediately become besties with his frat brothers is an asshole move. He's basically saying that you aren't good enough. You'd have been the AH if you had thrown a fit but you didn't. It appears you respected his decision even though it had to hurt very much. I wouldn't want to go to the wedding or be apar

9.

Text - snixia • 1d • Partassipant [1] l'd say NTA. Your friend sounds wishy-washy. He could have had 2 best men if he felt that way. And "demoting" you after all your time and money went into HIM is douchey. There seems to be a weird wedding culture these days where people act like monsters but it's supposed to be ok because it's "all about them on their special day." I mean, you CAN have a special day without acting like an asshole and using people. Reply 1 464 ...

10.

Text - anon081100 • 1d • Partassipant [2] NTA - If a college frat friend is replacing you - his only childhood friend - to be best man, you have every right to be upset and not go. He is contradicting himself by telling you to "grow up and be a good friend" when he wasn't a good friend to you when he promised you then replaced you, he just pushed your long-life friendship & efforts you've put into this wedding under the rug. If you make a promise then break it, you don't only lose your trust but

11.

Text - DreadGrrl • 1d • Asshole Aficionado [14] NTA You've already done most of the work as best man, and this is a huge affront. You owe him nothing. I wouldn't go either. Reply 74

12.

Text - Chriswing • 22h NTA - As a fellow pre-bestman to a similar no longer best friend, I understand the feeling of being asked and later removed for more recent friends. I also didn't attend his wedding. He is a selfish dick who didn't appreciate your effort, care, and love to make his wedding experience easier and plan an awesome bachelor party. He/they may try to reach out afterwards and try to justify their actions. You can either accept it and move forward with, or without their friendship

13.

Text - otaku_mimmi • 22h NTA. I was demoted from MOH from my former best friends wedding due to pressure from her now husband (there was a long saga of exclusion leading up to it). I stll attended the wedding as I wanted to support my friend but it was horrendous, I hated every minute and was the first to leave. So yeah, not the asshole and your friend can go suck it. Reply 101 ...

14.

Text - TheLoveliestKaren • 1d • Pooperintendant [59] NTA at all. It's incredibly rude to demote someone from best man and it should only be done if the person did something wrong. I would feel used. Reply 1 49 ...

15.

Text - ISThisRealLife201520 • 1d • Asshole Aficionado [10] NTA. I would ask for money back to recoup your costs too, just to be petty. That guy and his fiance are def the AH here. Reply 133 ...

16.

Text - Veridical_Perception • 1d NTA his fiance told me I should "grow up" and be a good friend LOL - apparently, the irony is lost on her. Also, the money you already spent on the bachelor party is more than sufficient for a wedding gift, just in case you're wondering. Reply 127 ...

17.

Text - can-we-not- • 1d • Partassipant [2] NTA Rearranging the wedding party is one thing. Doing it AFTER the biggest/most expensive part is over is just an asshole move. I demoted my maid of honor, but it was because she was always busy, rarely answered texts, and posted pictures of me trying on wedding dresses on snap chat. It was like 6 months before the wedding when I demoted her and she understood and stayed in the wedding party. Reply 36 ...

18.

Text - AllMightySmash • 1d • Partassipant [2] NTA You shouldn't go You are entitled to feel how you feel and both are grown adults and he should accept your decision Did you spend lot of your money if yes then He's TA Reply 20 ...

19.

Text - lamtheHarpy • 1d • Partassipant [1] NTA! OP I am FUMING on your behalf. Both his wife and him, AND his stupid frat buds can go take a long walk off a short cliff. Reply 19 ...

20.

Text - Scroll_Queeen • 1d NTA. What the actual fuck is up with this guy?! You sound like a cool guy and he is a massive dick. Don't go to the wedding and honestly don't contact him ever again. Reply 17 ...

21.

Text - zhzhzhzh00 • 23h NTA. Send them a bill, get yo money backkkk Reply 16 ...

22.

Text - welptheheck • 1d • Colo-rectal Surgeon [45] Nta so they said you should be a good friend after they probably used your wealth and planning for a good bachelor party and then dumped you? Nah bro and don't send them a present the bachelor's was Reply 12 ...

23.

Text - starwarschick16 • 1d NTA- that was incredibly rude and shitty behavior from the groom and his fiance'! You put in all the work and this is how he shows his appreciation? They are huge assholes, it's a shame but i would block them. You basically got used, some friend! Reply

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