Tolkien Thursday: 50 Lord of the Rings Memes That Are More Brilliant Than the Silmarils (March 17, 2022)

We're trying a fresh, brand-new idea this week that has been wholly incepted from scratch. It is, in no way, a complete rip-off of a weekly piece that Memebase already runs. 

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Fëanor created the Silmarils during the Noontide of Valinor. They contained all that was left of the light of the Two Trees which were destroyed by Melkor. Rumor had it that Fëanor was first inspired to bend the light of the trees into the Silmarils when he laid eyes on the golden hair of Galadriel. When he was famously and repeatedly rebuffed by Galadriel and denied strands of her hair he instead turned his attention to a creation of his own.

The Simarils were coveted by the Valar, who wished to use them to restore the Two Trees; But were stolen by Melkor, who, if you couldn't tell already, was a generally bad dude. Melkor then fled from Valinor to Middle-Earth. 

Renowned for their brilliance, the trees and the Silmarils were never forgotten by those who laid eyes on them.

Let these memes be the same as your eyes reflect their radiated brilliance. 

 

Woman Screams at Disabled Teen to Move From Reserved Seating, Flees in Disgrace When He Reveals His Disability

There's something to be said here about not judging a book by its cover. There's also equally as much to be said here about not being an insane and entitled a-hole to other people while in public spaces… or ever for that matter. 

High End Nail Artist Goes Viral for Her Story About Taking a Mystery Client and It Turning Out to Be Vladimir Putin

Hands down, one of the most bonkers stories ever to be shared on TikTok. 

Boss Has Tantrum And Demands Room Cleared, Gets His Wish

As an employee, it's your job to be the arms of your boss. And when that boss is a crazy person who can't handle their emotions and ends up flailing his arms around in impotent rage, you are the one doing the flailing. So much for being an appendage.

It just so happens this boss thought he could get exactly what he wanted by screaming a lot, and upon being asked for clarification, he provided it. His employees were more than willing to erase this other owner's existence from the office, so he got what he wanted. But, much like a genie in a joke, this guy got a lot more than he bargained for. So maybe it's kind of a bad idea to make huge demands while you're absolutely freaking out. In one fell swoop this guy was shown exactly how much faith his employees have in his ability to lead. But hey, he's the big smart owner so he'll think of something.

For another tale of questionable leadership, here's a woman who was infuriatingly fired for telling a customer the truth.

Coworker Let Go After He Uses Anti-LGBT Slur at Work, Girl Submitted Complaint Pretending to Be Customer to Get Him Fired

In no way am I going to condone the poster's actions here. But, It's pretty hard to feel bad for the guy who got fired. It's just karma taking its course a little more aggressively than usual.

This topic was posted by u/imnotchineseokay to Reddit's r/pettyrevenge subreddit. Which, predictably, hosts a range of stories of people exacting revenge of the petty variety on deserving individuals. As you might expect, the subreddit is chockfull of stories marinated in the justice-bonery stew of 'revenge fantasies' and 'altruistic punishment.' 

Math And Learning Memes For The Brainiacs Among Us

We should feel lucky that we live in a time when knowledge is so freely exchanged. Just a few hundred years ago, if you wanted to know how calculus worked, you had to invent it yourself. But now, if you really want to know how the nuts and bolts of the universe fit together, you can just go online, watch some videos and do a bunch of exercises. That said, if you want to be acknowledged for knowing complex math, it's still likely that you need to pay a bunch of money to attend and accredited institution and have a particular person explain complex math to you before you watch those same videos and do those same exercises.

And also, if you don't have an affinity for math, you will never own a home. Sorry. That's just how it looks like it's shaking out.

Here are some math and science memes full of arithmetical humor.

20 Memes From the Depraved Depths of Scottish Social Media (March 16, 2022)

This bizarre collection of tidbits into the Scottish way of life ae sure to make ye chuckle and blow a little air ou ye nostril. 

The interest in Scottish social media has long been trending on the internet, predominantly centering around 'Scottish Twitter.' Know Your Meme describes the trend as "A humorous tone in reaction to events on Twitter which come from a Scottish perspective. As a result of this, tweets by Scottish people have been recognized within national and international media coverage." 

Know Your Meme also clarifies that items that qualify for the trend are usually, "Tweets which use Scottish patter are usually not understood by the rest of the world due to the complex of the language that Scots use."

One thing is sure, deciphering these social media posts is half of the fun. The other half usually lies in the absurd insight into Scottish culture that you find once you're literate in the Scot's dialect. 

After you're done browsing, head here for more of Scottish Twitter. 

 

_{Thumbnail Image: George Hiles}

People Share The Craziest Things Their Exes Have Done

Breaking up can be difficult. It's hard to know if you made the right choice to end things. But sometimes your ex steals your dog, or calls your work and tells your boss that you've been stealing, then offers doctored texts to try and frame you. That makes it a whole lot easier to be confident in ending the relationship. Sure, it's an absolute nightmare in the short-term, to have an ex lie to your landlord in a plot to try and make you homeless, but in the long term it's nice to have total confirmation that the relationship was definitely not going to work out.

So here are some people who got some extremely good indicators that they weren't a good match, for the most part. Some exes are nice. But the interesting ones usually aren't. There are people out there who will use a break-up as an excuse to really stretch out their crazy-legs and offer the world some insight into their real character. And man, some people are a Rube Goldberg machine of messed up.

For some more moments when people threw caution to the wind, here are people's "screw it, I'll deal with it later" moments.

Woman Moves from Switzerland to L.A. for a Modeling Deal, Quits and Becomes a Horse Farrier in the Middle of the Desert Instead

She went from living in makeup socializing with L.A. socialites, to living in the mud hanging out with horses—and she absolutely LOVES it. 

Mother-In-Law Installs Camera In Woman's House, Family Sides With Mom

In a mind-boggling breach of privacy, this woman's mother-in-law secretly installed a camera in her adult son's room to make sure he was being taken care of well enough after an accident. To make matters more confusing and horrible, it seems like everyone in this family is so used to this kind of behavior that not only are they tolerating it, but they're trying to tell this woman that she's over-reacting.

Unless this lady is Misery-ing her husband in his bed, it's pretty unlikely that she's doing such a poor job of taking care of the dude that it would warrant a 24-hour live feed to a 33 year old man's room. The internet responded by basically telling her to get a divorce immediately. So, not a whole lot of terrifically constructive feedback, but not necessarily unwarranted. The whole thing just feels too creepy. At least she found out before it was too late and the mom busted out the popcorn for a Saturday night viewing. Yikes.

For some more absurd parental overreach, here's the mom who stole her children's birthdays for years.

Old Recipe Cards We Hope No One Ever Tried

The thing with recipe cards like these from Jell-O or weight watchers is that they seem less like helpful suggestions and more like dares. It's as if a roomful of people thought "obviously there are only so many graceful and tasty uses for aspic, but maybe if we just get weird with it, we can convince bored housewives full of valium to try this making garbage if only because they're so underwhelmed by their own lives that they might want to see what their husband has to say when they serve a vertical salad." And someone else was like "I mean I hate it, but honestly it's not the most absurd idea we've had. I mean this company started when we just decided to boil a bunch of horses."

Because honestly, these don't even look like food. A lot of these look like those abstract bot-created images designed to look familiar but also completely confusing at the same time. Like, to the point that your eyes have trouble focusing.

At the end of the day, we can only hope that these cursed foodsweren't made by people who thought these were good ideas, but simply by people from some kind of special interest group like "the herring council" trying to make up a bunch of potential recipes to use herring.

Entitled Karen Accosts Random Guy at Home Depot, Insists He Works There, Demands He Collects Carts

It often occurs that maintenance, tech workers, and other contractors end up getting accosted by Karens and other predatory customers when they are called to do jobs at retail locations and stray into the line of fire. 

These workers, who are sometimes just grabbing lunch at the store in question, are granted a small glimpse into the life of a retail worker. When you work retail, customers often have zero regard for you as a person and couldn't give less of a sh*t whether or not you're on a break or even working.

God forbid you're even just an innocent bystander and fellow customer who just happened to wear a shirt the same color as the staff. It doesn't even have to be remotely the same tone. The customers will swarm you like vultures to a fresh carcass. Just wear a maroon crew neck to a target, and you'll see exactly what I mean.

 I'm sure most of us had made this mistake before and apologized profusely after being corrected by the person we presumed was an employee. But some entitled people, including Karens, will be utterly unable to admit that they have made a mistake. They will insist that you work there and become very angry when you insist that you don't. 

This is precisely what happened to u/ShellSwitch in this story when he was accosted by a Karen while eating his lunch in the Home Depot parking lot. He handled the ridiculous situation that unfolded with grace and ease.

Entitled Sister Drops Her Kids Off For Unscheduled Babysitting, So Sibling Drops Them Off At a Daycare, Forces Sister to Pay

What would you do if your sister dropped her kids off unannounced when you had important obligations to attend? Especially when you already explicitly told her that you were unavailable?

That is the question that readers of r/AmItheAsshole are trying to answer in their replies to this thread. The topic was posted by u/sotireddofthis to the popular Reddit subreddit this week with the following title:

AITA for dropping my sister's kids off at a daycare and making her pay for it?

As indicated in the title and evident in their selected username, u/sotireddofthis is incredibly tired of their older sister's sh*t. When her sister asked her to babysit her four and six-year-old so that she could attend a party, u/sotireddofthis told her that she was unavailable due to uni requirements.

Her sister turned up anyways and dropped the kids off, so u/sotireddofthis took them straight to daycare and told her older sister she needed to pay for the service.

Sounds like an elegant solution to us. 

What do you think? Was u/sotireddofthis in the wrong? Read on and let us know what you think below. 

Idiot Cousin Towed After Blocking Guy Into His Own Driveway

There's nothing better than a family member who preys on other members of the family's kindness. These entitled a-holes count on you not standing up for yourself to get their way and take advantage of you. There's always the vague, implied threat of drowning you in controversy and drama should you dare to speak up. At that point, it would be your word against theirs, and you might find yourself further shocked at how many family members end up taking their side.

Grifters can never be satisfied with what they're already taking, so things naturally escalate to the point where enough is enough, and you need to take that stand.

That's precisely what happened when u/armandoL27's entitled cousin decided to park them into their driveway. The cousin had been leaving for the local airport and wanted to avoid paying for parking. So, he parked directly behind his cousin's work truck without asking and took his keys with him on the flight. 

u/armandoL27 decided he wasn't dealing with this baloney and had the car towed so that he could go to work.

20 Photos of Highly Unusual Birds That Are Amazing to Behold

Reddit's r/PicsOfUnusualBirds subreddit has been the site's Top Growing community today. The subreddit hosts a menagerie of photos of some highly unusual feathered friends, and they range from absolutely amazing to Orwellian-Horror levels of terrifying. The subreddit has been exploding in popularity as users flock to the subreddit to stare in awe at these fowl photos. 

The Shoebill Stork is one such bird that I wouldn't want to meet down a dark alleyway. The bird has been a popular topic of discussion online for the last few years due to their haunting appearance that gives them a foreboding presence akin to that of some kind of Erdrich being. 

Know Your Meme has this to say regarding the Shoebill's popularity online.

Shoebill Storks (Balaeniceps rex) are a species of bird known for their tall height (up to 5 feet) and wide-set bills. Online, shoebills are often discussed for their bizarre appearance and behavior.

One of the earliest known online discussions about the bird's strange appearance was launched in a Democratic Underground Forums^[4] thread titled "Behold! It's the ugly ass shoebilled stork thread!" submitted by user Guy Fawkes on March 16th, 2006 (shown below).

Browse on and be amazed at these feathered friends. 

Management Demands Customers Have to Wait No Longer Than 15 Seconds, Employees Comply and Nothing Else Gets Done

Anyone who has ever worked retail knows how stressful it is handling a constant stream of customers while you're trying to do inventory or stock shelves. It's a total mind destroyer that seems to tear your brain into two as you repeatedly try to swap between talking to customers and then refocusing on your task—before being, again, forced to handle the next customer. As the minutes and hours pass, you begin to realize that you're not making any headway on restocking today and finally submit to being stuck at the front counter. 

Some types of retail require constant handholding, and so, as long as there is a customer in the store, you will need to be directly at their side. Other retail types are a little different, and customers are happier to browse on their own; this seems to be the type of location described in the story, which was shared by u/BobertGnarley to the r/MaliciousCompliance subreddit.

Clever Developer Hacks Life, Discovers How to Automate His Job and Work 10 Minutes A Day From Home in This Trending Story

There has been a sharp increase in the recent trend of posts of employees claiming to have automated their jobs as soon as they were asked to work from home or remote full time. 
 

Just take, for example, this Reddit user who posted that they were able to automate their job for 5 years before anyone caught on. 

 

Embarrassing Times People Tragically Didn't Get The Joke

As much as the internet is a triumph for communication in general, it's surprising how often people make mistakes when interpreting things online. It's almost impossible to effectively detect sarcasm in text 100 percent of the time, and it's common to have to read things a few times in order to properly ascertain that something is a joke. But most of us are fully aware of that fact, so we simply read things with a hefty grain of salt. 

For some reason, a great many of us don't have that knowledge, and keep thinking everyone on the internet is being earnest whenever they say literally anything. When you read someone say something like "today I ate a 5 gallon bucket of rocks for breakfast" it's more likely that they're either speaking figuratively or being goofy rather than maliciously trying to trick everyone about their stomach capacity. But invariably, there will be a commenter who slides in with "no, I don't believe you. I've tried and I could only eat 3 quarts of rocks, gravel at that." And then we have to decide if that person is joking, which we sincerely hope they are, and it just keep going. Much like swallowing a cup of sand, it's rocks all the way down.

Anyway, here are some more chowder heads who didn't get jokes.

Idiot Cousin Gets Towed After Blocking Guy Into His Own Driveway

There's nothing better than a family member who preys on other members of the family's kindness. These entitled a-holes count on you not standing up for yourself to get their way and take advantage of you. There's always the vague, implied threat of drowning you in controversy and drama should you dare to speak up. At that point, it would be your word against theirs, and you might find yourself further shocked at how many family members end up taking their side.

Grifters can never be satisfied with what they're already taking, so things naturally escalate to the point where enough is enough, and you need to take that stand.

That's precisely what happened when u/armandoL27's entitled cousin decided to park them into their driveway. The cousin had been leaving for the local airport and wanted to avoid paying for parking. So, he parked directly behind his cousin's work truck without asking and took his keys with him on the flight. 

u/armandoL27 decided he wasn't dealing with this baloney and had the car towed so that he could go to work.

Boyfriend Caught Staring at Braless College Chick in Dorm, Jealous Girlfriend Reports Her, Chick Gets Boyfriend Banned

A jealous girlfriend targeted another girl who lived in her dorm for drawing her boyfriend's attention while she was walking around without a bra on. The girlfriend then reported the girl for dressing "provocatively," and the girl knew that she had to get revenge, which would be easy since her boyfriend wasn't meant to be in the dorm in the first place.

_{Thumbnail Image: Sharon McCutcheon}

Monday Memes: 20 Workplace Memes to Battle The Monday Blues (March 14, 2022)

It's time to go back to poor a fresh cup of coffee, small talk with coworkers, and then gear up for another week behind the desk. You've got a long way to go until Friday afternoon rolls around but fear not, there will be plenty in store to keep you occupied this week.

Tear through this list of work memes during your first 30-minute bathroom break as you wistfully dream of sunny days at the beach with a cool lemonade in hand. 

We'd now like to apologize in advance for the atrocity that is about to follow. 

"
If you find you're feeling blue.
Scroll on, as you're wont to do.
There is a mix of old and new 
(and some ancient JPEGs in there too.)
Your workweek may have just begun.
But you still have time to have some fun.
As, while in the loo you hide away.
Your boss's demands are held at bay.
Coffee may numb the pain these best.
But these memes, they should do the rest. "

 

Two Part Story: New Owner Doesn't Know How to Run Company, Fires Employee For "Not Going Above and Beyond", She Deletes All of Her Extra Work Before Leaving

A new owner takes over a business that they are hilariously unqualified to run and proceeds to gut the company of its most essential employees. This scenario is being played more frequently on the internet thanks to the rise of subreddits like r/antiwork and r/workreform that seek to raise awareness of issues employees face and mistreatment in the workplace. 

In these circles, it has become popular to share stories of these events from previous and current workplaces. 

Redditor u/NaughtyCat890 shared this two-part revenge tale to the r/antiwork and r/ProRevenge subreddits this week. The first story in this list, which was posted to r/antiwork, is a prequel of sorts that they shared following the success of the original r/ProRevenge post. The first story describes the rise of the company's new owner and the utter incompetence that plagued employees after his reign began. The second details u/NaughtyCat890's firing and the fallout from that. This second story starts on item #5.

Cheating Ex-Husband Ghosts, Gets Found When He Racks Up TV Bill In Ex-Wife's Name

As the story goes, this call center employee got an inquiry about a mysterious bill on this woman's account. As it turns out, her ex-husband made some purchases in her name, a development in a longer running situation of him continuing to bleed her dry, even after leaving. Maybe if there's any lesson to be learned here, it's "If you plan on running away with your lover and try to make it so your ex-wife never finds you, do not, out of malicious intent or frugality, sign up for services in her name at your new permanent address." In addition to the real moral quandaries in this behavior, what really set this one apart was this guy's sloppiness.

You only hope that this whole story on the wife's part is true, and not that she's just trying to find the guy and hurt him. But with that said, if he were legitimately hiding for safety reasons, he probably wouldn't have set up an account in her name. But other than that, hot damn, what a show. You never know what's gonna happen at the start of any day at work.

Salty Old Man Pitches Temper Tantrum Over Salted Licorice

What can we really say when someone puts in every effort to get something that they don't know that they'll hate? It sounds like the kind of issue a parent would have with an unruly child. How many adults have to say "no sweetie, please don't eat the aquarium gravel. I know it looks terrific, but trust me, rocks don't taste good and you'll absolutely shatter the ever-loving sin out of your teeth." The thing is, if you're doing this with an adult, you have the freedom to let them make their own mistakes, because they'll have to deal with the consequences themselves.

This guy sounds like he was an absolute, inconsiderate, irrationally aggressive individual right from the very get go. Like, the employee repeatedly tried to dissuade him from purchasing the insanely salty licorice and he just wasn't having any of it. Well, he certainly lived to regret that stance. Also though, shout out to the manager for putting the salty old geezer in his place. For another tale of malicious compliance check out the time that a grandpa's mailbox loophole took the mail into the third dimension.

Insane Dad Claims to Own His Daughter's Apartment, Invites His Friends to Move In

When you have been privileged enough to grow up with relatively normal parents (what is normal anyway?), it's very easy to forget how tough some people have it. It's hard to imagine having to worry about something that should come easily. Having is the support of your parents is one of those things. They are supposed to be there as your core lifeline to guide you through the good and the bad. So when they're not only not helpful but actively antagonistic, that makes things doubly hard. 

Redditor u/calinative07 shared this story to the r/entitledparents subreddit, where people share stories about parents (often their own) who are entitled, narcissistic, or otherwise self-absorbed. In the story, she describes her relationship with her parents as much less than ideal and explains that she has no contact with him. The man is a massive a-hole and completely delusional. He claims outrageous experiences that have never happened and claims he owns u/calinative07's apartment. It has gotten so bad that he sent his friends over to her apartment with the promise that they could live there. Commenters, of course, are horrified and quick to condemn her father's actions. 

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People's "Screw It, I'll Just Do It Myself" Moments

It feels good to be completely self-reliant. Sure, it's not a good idea to take on projects that you know are totally over your head, but if we never stretched ourselves a little, we'd never learn and grow as people. Sometimes these learning opportunities are forced upon us, often accompanied with someone else's incompetence and our own justified, blinding rage.

For example, when the contractor calls and says "sorry I can't be there for another 3 weeks, and it'll cost 10,000 more than I quoted you," but you say "dude, the pipe has literally burst and all my commissioned self-portraits of me as a space man are getting soaked in grey water" it makes the decision to buy a monkey wrench and start reading manuals that much easier.

So here are some times that people found themselves in situations where the most simple and direct way to solve a problem was with their own two hands. And for some times people left things up to chance, here are people's "screw it, I'll deal with it later" moments.

Father-In-Law Demands Son's Fiancée Iron His Shirt at Her Own Engagement Party "Because She's A Woman"

This woman became the target of her father-in-law-to-be's sexist behavior when he asked her to iron his shirt during a celebration for her engagement to his son. So, of course, she proceeded to destroy the a-hole's shirt.

This story was shared to Reddit's r/MaliciousCompliance subreddit, where users submit stories where someone "conforms to the letter, but not the spirit, of a request." u/Stitchywitchlich, the original poster, shared this story about an event that happened to her recently.

It never ceases to amaze us how many people are completely stuck in a completely different dimension… A dimension where it is still the lost days of yesteryear where everything plays out like an episode of 'Mad Men.' 

Let's just hope that the apple fell very far from the tree and that her future husband is nothing like his father. If he's the spitting image or a clone of his old man, she's going to be in for a bad time. 

 

The Wonderful Musings Of Sewer Tank Trucks

It's gotta be an interesting life to lead, that of the noble poop man. It's one of those services that literally everyone is going to depend on. If the job wasn't being done by someone, we'd have some huge problems on our hands. And feet. And seeping into our shoes. So we can only thank the patience and hard work of anyone who does this job. Poop is a lot like slipping on a banana peel. In theory it is extremely funny. In person, maybe not so much.

So hats off to the folks who drive around in a truck filled with human waste. And hats even more off to those who do it with a terrific sense of humor. 

What is it about funny signs that make them so compelling? Is it the folksiness? Maybe the commitment to the bit? Whatever it is, it hits even  harder when it's on the side of a septic tank truck. Call us childish or whatever, but man these are great. For those who are into sign humor, there's this sign with a pun game that's way too on point or this restaurant sign that dispenses jokes and wisdom.

Entitled Dad Leaves Kids On Plane With Stranger, Ends Up Wholesomely

Some parents can't handle their own kids. Some parents just don't want to handle their own kids. Some parents make their kids someone else's problem. It's unclear what kind of logic would make a parent think "plane ride with my child? Sounds like an opportunity to do my own thing." Sheer exhaustion? In all likelihood it's not a moment of logic at all. It's just a thing some people do because other people are willing to put up with it. And we all get to collectively disapprove of those people, so there's that.

You can only hope the person you abandon your kids with is someone with professional childcare experience. While it's a not-so-noble dad move to foist the burden of your children onto a stranger, it's something else entirely to get furious around firearms, like this entitled dad who was furious his son needed permission to hold a gun. For more airplane shenanigans, here's a flight attendant's wildest stories.

Employee Reverses Customer's Coin Revenge By Counting It All Out

A pretty common way to "get back" at the people fining you is by paying that fine in a really inconvenient way, such as this tenant who got an unfair fine and paid in 37 installments. These plans are usually pretty awesome, but if you're not paying the person who wronged you directly, you run the risk of only inconveniencing the poor employee who made the mistake of working for a company who keeps screwing people over. And having to be the customer service meat shield for an organization that makes tons of people angry isn't fair to the employees.

This lady came in expecting the usual "shock and awe" of paying in hundreds of quarters, but she just so happened to give them to an employee who was fully prepared to take things to their logical extent. That being, counting out all the coins to make sure this was the right amount of legal tender.

Who knows if this lady had a terrific reason to try and inconvenience someone. She just seems to have pointed her inconvenience at the wrong person. This woman was hoping to get some kind of reaction for her intense feelings, but in the end she was offered no quarter.