Monday, February 28, 2022

Wholesome Memes To Refill That Health Bar


It's important to acknowledge, at least sometimes, that we are human beings with thoughts, feelings, and goals. As much as we'd like to say that the world around us doesn't affect our usually chipper selves, it does. Like, oodles. And that's why it's important to remind oneself of the smaller, nicer things about life that give us a sense of purpose. Do wholesome memes solve any real problems? No, but that's not the point. It's about being able to re-center yourself enough to face the day with a fresh sense of meaning and composure.

It's also about finding animal pictures that you can send to your friends. But hey, if wholesome memes give you a means to make your friends happy, then that's a noble purpose too.

We're all traveling old-timey hobos on this journey of life. Sometimes it's important to hitch a ride on the vibes train down to well-being station. And hopefully you don't get hassled by railroad police who are looking for any excuse to beat you with iron rods of disappointment.

Here are some more blessed images to serve as a reminder that some things are nice.

New Owner Lets Company Burn, Employee Yoinks Whole Business


This employee was fine and dandy working for his old boss Steve, but when the company was sold to a less-than-worthy 3rd party, things kinda went to crap.

But even so, OP made a point to do good work, and none of their clients even knew about this Kyle guy, so things just sort of kept rolling. That was until they hit a breaking point. 

But in the end, as if written by Tolkien, the true owner of the business emerged. A champion of client services.

This employee took things into his own hands and launched a full scale assault to pick up all those clients with a totally new business. Kyle didn't even know what hit him, and the guy just had to back off and concede that he'd been beaten.

Under most circumstances, stealing your employer's clients would probably result in a giant lawsuit, but they didn't go there and OP skated by like a goddamn champion.

Red Flag Job Interview Moments When People Knew They Weren't Gonna Take The Gig


We've all had moments in our lives when we've been happy to take whatever job we can get. Luckily, once you get a few years of experience under your belt, you get to the point where, not only do you have the ability to turn down horrible job offers, but you've also been to enough weird job interviews that you have the wisdom to look for job interview red flags.

Luckily for prospective job seekers, bad bosses are pretty stupid, argumentative, terrible liars who will usually show their true colors during the interview. And sometimes they'll just say some totally bonkers garbage like "I need you to sign this piece of paper saying that you are fine with my not paying you for 5 months."

Working for a crap employer is one of the most sure-fire ways to make yourself miserable, and it looks like these people were able to dodge some pretty serious bullets with their gut feelings and a dash of "oh hell na."

Dungeons And Dragons Memes For The Beautiful Dorks Out There


Sure, the real world has its perks. You get to taste food and go on waterslides. But honestly, this place doesn't hold a candle to the enthralling world of fantasy that we can create in our own minds. With some just some dice, a few pieces of paper, and one friend who would rather spend their time ordering everyone around than playing themselves; we can inhabit strange worlds, be great warriors, and kill any innkeeper we want because they refused to serve our orc necromancer.

But this world of fantasy has its challenges. We must stay on the good side of the dice, think on our feet, and avoid drinking random potions we find on the ground.

But hey, if you drank the bubbling ground poison, at least you can make another character who has high enough perception to notice the skull and crossbones and label that says "poison-do not drink."

And here's a delectable dose of dungeons and dragons memes to inspire your next campaign.

Guy Quits on the Spot When Boss Calls Him a Liar, Never Signed the Non-Compete


Redditor and r/antiwork subscriber u/usedallmypowerups posted this story to the popular subreddit today.

r/antiwork is a subreddit that has been gaining huge momentum on Reddit as the "Great Resignation" goes into full swing. People have been increasingly sick of poor working conditions and horrible bosses and are taking their fate into their own hands as they break out into new fields and ventures. The movement has received increasing support as people share their experiences to commiserate and educate one another and encourage work reform.

In u/usedallmypowerups' story, they describe something that happened to them "a number of years ago" when they were working for a startup. The startup turned out to be a "glorified temp agency" due to its poor working conditions and high rate of turnover. ey describe that their boss was an absolute jerk and it was not out of the ordinary for him to lash out at employees.

That boss would soon learn that there is only so much abuse people can take. 

Sunday, February 27, 2022

Breadwinner Wife Emasculates Husband's Arrogant Friend, Puts Him on Blast For His Poor Behavior


Dejected wife TAwolfofwhat tells the story of her husband's arrogant friend who is notoriously terrible with his cash. The guy is one of those greased-up slimeballs who think that one day a parcel of money is going to drop out of the sky and that they will "unlock" the key to wealth. Except when it did... He pissed it all away on day trading and other terrible financial decisions. 

Money isn't everything, but a little bit of money and some common sense can be. This 'friend' clearly doesn't have either. 

He gets totally shut down when this woman reminds him that she makes more than he does. This guy sounds like a real piece of work and maybe isn't the kind of person that you want to keep around, he doesn't even sound like he would be much fun at parties. 

With friends like these who needs enemies? 

Good on her for standing up for herself, if they're lucky he might not come back around. 

Hilariously Specific Times People And Stuff Got Singled Out


Statistically speaking, we should all have to deal with a similar amount of cartoonish hardship. We should all, at some point, have to come home and say "well today a bunch of seagulls chased me into an open sewer, and that's why instead of using the front door I am crawling out of the toilet." In a fair and just world, this would happen to everyone at least once. But for some totally unknown reason, that particular outcome is pretty uncommon.

There are times when the universe chooses one person and says "it's your day, buttercup." Sometimes it's totally merited when people and things are singled out, other times it's completely random. But at least it's always interesting when you walk into an establishment and there's a sign that says "welcome everyone except Todd and you know why." It's just one of those humorously absurd times people and things got singled out.

So good luck out there. Hopefully the universe hasn't chosen you.

Guy Exposes Son's Step Dad When Step Dad Steals Son's Present


Are we looking at the stepfather of the year here?

Internet user u/Highest-Tower3755 has turned to the AmItheAsshole subreddit to seek some advice. He is separated from his ex-wife, who now has a new husband. u/Highest-Tower3755 and his ex have one son together who is 17 years old. 

u/Highest-Tower3755 bought his son an expensive wristwatch for his birthday, but the thing was... it never showed up. Coincidentally, the stepdad got a new watch at around the same time—the exact same watch. 

This one is pretty ruthless on the part of the stepdad. How in the WORLD did he think he wouldn't be caught and exposed for this? I mean the fact that he had the gall to sign for the package as someone who could easily prove that they were not present at the time... In front of a camera... and then he thought that he'd be able to wear the watch and no one would notice? It just sounds so incredulous.


If this happened and isn't just some fantasy, then the Step-Dad is nothing less than dangerous.

Entitled People and Total Karens Who Graced The World With Their Audacious Behavior


Most of us are just out here trying to get through the day with minimal screaming arguments. We'd rather make reasonable decisions and have common sense expectations of the people around us. But entitled people and Karens seem to think that extreme conflict is the only way to get what they want.

 "Why can't I have this TV for free" someone says, pointing at your TV, which you have not offered to them.

"Because it's mine?" you say, dumbfounded.

"Well that's not fair," they conclude stupidly.

The world has more than its fair share of entitled folks with uproarious demands. There are people out there who believe it's more than fair to charge someone for the opportunity to take care of their kids, There are Karens who are more than willing to call the police over people making the "bleep bloop" sound when they lock their cars or leave a ranting yelp review because they couldn't return a 90% eaten hot dog. It's wild out there. The hypocrisy is palpable, like when this sketchy business got called out and accused a freelancer of being a shyster.

Amusement Park Ride Operator Gets Justice On Rude Karen


The thing about being a completely miserable sack of dirt is that it rubs off on people. Most of us sheepishly look the other way when someone acts like a complete tool, but you can never be sure if the person you're being awful to has the willpower to be awful right back. The thing is, Karens are so used to having their behavior tolerated that they sometimes forget that it's a big world out there full of people who just might have the ability to make their day suck too. Hopefully Karen herself learned something from this exchange, but honestly it's doubtful. At least she had a bad time.

Is there a lesson here? Maybe something like "don't be miserable to the person controlling the ride." Maybe it's "don't go on rides if you know you hate them." Or maybe there are stories with no actual lessons, and things just happen sometimes. Either way, Karen could have played her cards better. For another episode in the adventures of Karen, here's a secret shopper Karen who was too much of a Karen so she got fired.

Monetization Goes Hilariously Wrong When 'The Sims' Tries To Monetize Dusting


Video Game companies will literally try to monetize anything these days... To be fair there are a lot of games out there that essentially make gameplay out of what is essentially chores. Yes, I'm looking at you Animal Crossing, the game that literally has you pick weeds and pay off a mortgage. But they at least usually do a decent job of making the gameplay rewarding, threatening, or otherwise distanced from reality. Usually, these will be essential features of the game too, not something shoehorned in via DLC. 

'The Sims' set their fanbase alight when they decided that virtually dusting your virtual home is something that a player should pay for the privilege to do.

This well-written recounting of one of the most bizarre moments from the long and storied history of The Sims as told by u/thesmartasschick. It's a brilliant write-up and well worth the long and lengthy read. 

Saturday, February 26, 2022

Ominous Signs That Pump Up The Creepiness


If you were walking down the street and you saw a sign that said "Warning, Bone Reavers" what would your first thought be? Sure, it might be "what's a bone reaver?" Well one can safely assume that whatever it is, it reaves bones. And guess what baby, you're full of bones. Assuming your bones haven't been reaved yet, your next thought might be "maybe we should leave." And that's a terrific thought to have. One that you may not have had if a good samaritan hadn't risked their own bone-reavement in order to put up this handy sign. So let's take a moment and thank the very real and very creepy signs that warn us of things like electricity and falling snakes on a daily basis.

Sure, some creepy signs can ruin the mood, but reading a sign that says "beware of flaming sinkhole" is a whole lot more convenient than falling into one and having all of your clothes burned off while your crush watches and laughs. Just kidding, you'd probably just burn to death. Anyway, the lesson is that we all have something to gain from terrifying signs that speak the language of fear.

Neighbor Tries to Make Woman Pay Vet Bills After Their Dog Eats Food on Her Property


Reddit user ChocolateDog9 has experienced something that is, unfortunately, all too commonplace in neighborhoods... Dealing with entitled people and their untrained animals. 

There is nothing worse than having to navigate the minefield that is an entitled neighbor. Those types of people think that they can simply do no wrong. All it takes is one incident (usually caused by them) to make the entire relationship unravel.

I mean, this one is an obvious open and shut case isn't it? If you can't control your pet and keep it off of someone else's property (where it then proceeds to destroy something of theirs) then there's not much more you can say. If said pet then needs to go to the vet for something it ate (on their property) there's no reasonable reason why you should then ask the owner of the property to pay for it.

It's not like she intentionally left poison out for the dog to eat or anything sadistic like that. So why should she have to pay a dime?

Wholesome Things People Did For The Love Of The Game


What does it say about us that we're able to eschew the modern-day pragmatism of chasing a dollar of bending over backwards to please the powers that be in favor of doing things just because we like to do them? Maybe that at least most of us aren't as selfishly motivated as we think? Our lives are constantly exhausting, to the point that we often equate time spent doing nothing as the only "good time" one can have. But the fact is that we're supposed to like actually doing things. And doing things for no reason other than helping someone else can be pretty nice.

As miserable as other people can make us, and as meaninglessly complex life can get, it's at least a good reminder that doing good things for other people actually makes us feel good. It's really not that complicated. To test your moral mettle, indulge in the shopping cart theory of morality. For some wholesomeness, here's a tumblr thread ageless matriarch that is mamaw or this twitter thread on this movie theater's favorite customer.

News Cameraman Gets Food Poisoning at Old Folks Home, Films More Than He Bargained For


It's stressful when plans get derailed. It's mores stressful when plans get derailed for the worse. And when plans get thrown off so hard that you end up with reported documentation of your own diarrhea warzone, it's pretty safe to just call it a day, take a deep breath and try again tomorrow. This dude found himself in an old folks house of horrors wondering how things could have gotten so bad.

We've all had brutal work days, but based on this guy's performance, it sounds like he deserves an Emmy. It's weird when you can put together the puzzle pieces of your own misery as it happens in real time. Absurdly bad things happen and man, we just gotta live with our mistakes. Here's a guy who didn't know he had been living with athletes foot for years.

At least at the end of the day we can take these things in stride. Sort of. Like he won't forget about this probably ever, but it's still important to try and make these kinds of adventures something worth reporting on.

New Owner Fires Top Employee For Misconduct Using Fabricated Lies, He Sues and Watches Company Dissolve


If there is any way to save a dollar and lose a fortune, this has to be it. 

When the new owner took over this company, all they could see were their immediate costs and decided that getting rid of all the top paid employees was a top priority. 

There was no consideration made for what those employees might be contributing and what their unique strengths might be. 

So when the owner decided to frame this top-earner and hang them with a whole heap of lies, they set themselves up for a big lawsuit. In asking them to come back to finish out their 12 weeks, when they realized there was no one to replace them, they proved that the misconduct accusations were false and solidified the case.

Read on as u/nicklo2k tells this incredible story.

 This guy and the worker who sent a detailed list of demands to their employer should be friends. 

Guy Destroys Ex-Wife's Divorce Attorney By Sending Him a Massive 'Fax Bomb', Destroys Their Printer


There's nothing better than when some complete toolbag gets given exactly what they've asked for and in doing so also gets served justice.

That is exactly what happens in this story told by Reddit user FederalAnt9 who describes the incident that took place between himself and his wife's divorce attorney. 

FederalAnt9's soon-to-be ex-wife somehow got it in her head that he had been hiding assets from her during their marriage and her lawyer was determined to find where those assets might be. Either way, he was going to drown FederalAnt9 in records requests.

I'm never entirely sure what people were expecting in situations like this. Clearly, this lawyer was trying to prey on his client's ex -thinking that there was no way he was possibly going to be able to provide what was requested. But on the off chance that the guy did have all of the records, wouldn't this kind of be the expected outcome?

Anyways, this lawyer decided to tool around with the wrong guy and got exactly what was coming to him.


Friday, February 25, 2022

Employee Fires Savagely Devastating Email at Boss After Quitting Mid-Shift


Sometimes people hit their limit, and this employee hit theirs in a big way.

Today u/idkanymoretbh0 shared this story to the r/antiwork subreddit with the caption, "I quit my job for a better one, walked out mid-shift, and sent this email when I got home."

From what we have to go off of, it seems that u/idkanymoretbh0 was unhappy with certain working conditions at the factory they were working in. They had some terrible coworkers who were bringing their issues into the workplace.

Everything culminated with OP leaving in the middle of their shift and then sending this bomb of an email to their boss when they got home. In the email, u/idkanymoretbh0 absolutely roasts the way the business operates, stating at one point that "I cannot respect myself and work for you at the same time, so I must leave."

Afterward, they describe the advice that they have for fixing the business, stating that if they do these things, then maybe they wouldn't be "So incompetent that it would make Neanderthals look intelligent." That has to be one of the best insults of the week.

Read on and enjoy this absolute scorcher of a bonfire.

Internet Bewildered Over "Metric Minutes" Listed on Viral Oatmeal Label


Internet users are bewildered over this oatmeal cooking label that was posted to Reddit on the r/mildlyinteresting subreddit. 

Reddit, the popular social news aggregation site, offers various subsections where different types of content and topics can be posted and discussed amongst users. Through "upvoting" or "downvoting" a post, the users can contribute to the overall rating of content which determines how posts appear on the feed. If a post garners a high number, or percentage, of upvotes within a given threshold of time, it will move onto r/all. r/all, thereby is what Reddit claims itself to be… 'The Front Page of the Internet."

This subreddit contains precisely what you might expect it to have, based on its name. (Although that is not always the case.) Perusing the pages of r/mildlyinteresting will reveal a collection of oh-so-interesting things in a very mild sort of way.

When u/IGotTheDud shared this image with the caption "The instructions on my oatmeal say to cook it longer in the French translation." to the popular subreddit, other users were perplexed as to exactly what this could mean. 

One commenter, Bridgetss, was the first to make the quip about "metric minutes" to explain the bizarre label. 

Other commenters added their ideas and funny commentary into the mix as everyone puzzled onwards. 

 


 


 

Visiting Entitled Sister Throws Away $1000 Worth of Sibling's Food, Gets Kicked From House


Imagine having the audacity to throw out someone's food when you're a guest in their home. It doesn't matter who it is, that's just insane. 

Well, that's exactly what happened to u/Scared-Outside4725 when they invited their sister to come into their home. u/Scared-Outside4725 describes their relationship with their sister as not being very close, describing their feelings as being "apathetic love" towards one another.

The sister recently had a job interview near their hometown where u/Scared-Outside4725 lives. So u/Scared-Outside4725 invited her to come and stay with them. 

This is how it went:
 

"It was all kind of awkward but nothing horrible until the third night. I came home from drinks with my friends around 10PM, went into my kitchen for a snack, and realized that almost ALL of my food was gone."

The shock of coming home to find all of your food mysteriously missing. Your first conclusion wouldn't even be that your guest had thrown it away, that would be way too absurd. Instead, you'd probably think that you had been robbed by a very hungry burglar. 

Absurd Dress Code Makes It So IT Can't Do His Job, Work Piles Up


Why is it that the person put in charge of telling you how to do your job is always the one person who doesn't know how to do your job?

This IT guy was told to wear a suit, no exceptions. But it just so happens that he works in a factory with understandable safety standards, so he wasn't allowed on the floor to do his job. And of course, the guy who passed down the original ruling couldn't be bothered to correct it, so the IT guy had nothing to do but sit there in a suit and tie while stuff started breaking.

It wasn't until he was called in to explain himself that he was able to soundly show how stupid of a decision this whole thing was, and he was finally able to get back to work. Thanks corporate, for your valuable insight on the innerworkings of your own company.

For another fun tale from the land of IT, here's the IT head who stole a coveted email address but couldn't handle the pressure and got canned.

Dumb Life Pro Tips To Help Achieve Worse Outcomes


There's nothing quite like human ingenuity. The brain that's able to write sonnets and algorithms is also the same organ that will tell you "get pregnant to fix your failing marriage." What we're trying to say is that there's a lot of variability in human thinking, and just because someone frames something as advice, that doesn't mean that it'll be effective. Hell, it doesn't even mean it will be a complete thought. So don't go sticking your fingers in scorpion holes just cause some guy at a bar told you there might be gold in there. We'd all love to believe him, but man, it's scorpions. Fool me twenty times, shame on me.

So in case you wanted to spend your day eating 2 metric tons of dirt instead of a big mac, go ahead and do it. But don't expect to feel good about it. Also film it and put it on the internet. You could be a big star. Again, don't do that. But if you do... we wanna see.

Lord of the Rings Memes Brighter Than the Jewels of Fëanor


Sure, Peter Jackson knew he was filming a masterpiece all those years ago, but it's unlikely that he knew he'd be making meme fodder that would stay somehow contemporary for decades to come. Honestly, we're pretty sure these movies are going to outlive us, and we're not even that old.

Life can be dark and miserable, but the one thing that will always be there for us is the trilogy. Just when everything seems at it's darkest, we gotta look to the East on the third day and see that box set looking right back at us. Do we have the time to watch all of them including the DVD commentary? Absolutely not, but we can still try. Responsibility feels ever so far away when you hear that Shire theme music kick in. Man, it's like sinking into a warm bubble bath.

Here are some more Lord of The Rings memes that shall definitely pass.

Thursday, February 24, 2022

20 Terrible Liars Get Called Out and Put on Blast, Top Lies of the Month (February 2022)


What is it that drives someone to lie on the internet? Are we really all that desperate for our internet points? That one moment of perceived glory?

We languish in the idea that we might find ourselves forgotten and realize that we aren't the main characters of our own story and instead find ourselves the NPC in someone else's world as they lead the lives we wish we'd had.

It's the curse and the plague that social media has wrought upon us. As the spawn of the wealthy plaster professionally taken photographs of their weekend trip to Dubai all over Instagram and write about how #blessed they are, you find yourself arguing again with your aunt on Facebook over her absurd conspiracies.

As you doom scroll further and further into oblivion, you swap back to Instagram to reminisce over that grainy photo you took on your one vacation last year, still feeding off the dopamine the 30 likes your mother, and her friends gave you. You're dying for another boost, something to get the ol' dopamine machine humming again. Seeing how many updoots the anonymous power-users are farming on Reddit, you devise yourself a plan… One Google search for "Busty Drawings of Catwoman" later, and you're away with your first fake post. It has a smashing title, too: "I drew this last night with my dying mother." The post is a sensation; the internet points flood in, there's already a DMCA in your DM's, but you don't care. You're too busy relishing in the tidal wave of neurotransmitters gritting your teeth in uncontrollable bliss, a deluge of delight that would cause even Kubla Khan to blush in Xanadu. "A stately pleasure-dome decree" indeed.

Old Lady Steals Bike, Pays For It With Smelly Apartment


This "concerned citizen" took it upon herself to steal a kid's bike and teach them a lesson. That lesson? Something along the lines of "don't be a kid who rides your bike when I can faintly hear you riding your bike. And don't leave that bike somewhere where I can take it and hold it hostage." It's a mystery as to why a person like this would live alone. She went so far as to demand a written apology in exchange for the bike.

Most kids would probably just cave to the demands of a grown-up, irrational as they may be, but OP had a taste for justice. Or at least petty revenge. They weren't gonna put up with this without a fight, and decided the natural course of action should be to leave some surprises for this lady to not find for a long time. Karma is real, and it stinks.

It's weird when adults feel like they're justified in stealing from or victimizing kids for doing nothing other than being kids. For example, here's this entitled parent who kicked kids off a playground and wondered if they were in the wrong.

25 Technically Accurate Jokes And Memes That Are Hard To Argue With


Being "well technically'd" is kind of the worst. All you want to do is buy a cup of soup, but the guy at the counter hands you a cup of coffee. And you go "hey man, I asked for the three bean soup." And he's like "well technically, a vanilla mocha is a three bean soup." And you go "you know what I mean. I asked for a thing, and I want that thing. You proving to me that you're being clever doesn't improve my situation. It doesn't get me any closer to eating a cup of soup, and you know it."

But "well technically-ing" people feels absolutely awesome. You get to feel clever while simultaneously not giving someone the answer they want. Your victory is two-fold. You've just managed to not have to try hard but also made that person seem dumb, in your own little way. Now do you want your "three-bean soup" or not?

So hats off to being literally, technically accurate. Who wants to spend their time being actually correct when we could be dancing around the situation with the power of wit?

Company Tells Employee Groceries Cost Too Much, Must Eat Every Meal At Fancy Restaurants


This might come as a surprise, but corporate isn't very good with money. Basically anyone who's worked at a company with a lot of money at the top has witnessed some absurd waste in their career. Sometimes it's flying the whole board and their families to one location in order to conduct a 5 minute meeting that could have just been an email. Sometimes it looks like an entire nacho bar that just sits there while you wonder why your insurance benefits haven't kicked in yet. And sometimes it's inadvertently finding out how much your boss makes and then thinking back to the time you saw them spend two hours at work trying to hang a poster. 

Budgets, per diems and stipends can get messy. Especially when there are special little rules around them that keep you from spending money in a smart way. In this guy's case, he wanted to buy some groceries, but since it cost more than a single dinner, he was reprimanded for going over the limit. Obviously, according to the company, the cheaper way is to spend every single meal at a fancy restaurant. Duh.

Retail Worker Helped Lay Down Karmageddon After Witnessing a Random Customer Get Cheated On


This worker put the therapy in retail therapy—as she watched the betrayal go down within this love triangle, she helped the victim come out stronger. 

Teachers Share Times They Had To Stop Themselves From Laughing At Their Students


School takes forever, man. It's over a decade of constantly showing up, being told what to do, doing most of it, and staring out the window. But in that time, we all have moments where we heard someone say something so dumb that we couldn't stay quiet about it. Teachers, however, had to be tight-lipped about all the stupid-ass things they heard us say. Right now there are thousands of functional adults walking around doing totally fine because when they were in 4th grade, a teacher never pointed at their face and laughed at them for saying something stupid. Sure, there are many adults who are functional despite having experienced exactly that, but it's still not a good time.

Kids are so dumb that they're pretty much a different species. So we can't blame teachers or noticing the absurd things they do and say. We remember how dumb we were. We remember all those times a kid said "organism" wrong. It happened a lot. And honestly it's a miracle that teachers can manage to get through the day.

Oil Rig Worker in the Middle of the Ocean Goes Viral for Feeding Ravenous Fish During the Day and Flinging Fruit Into the Nighttime Abyss


During the day, he flings food for the ravenous fish to eat. During the pitch black night, he flings fruit into the darkness never to be seen again. TikTokers are loving it.