Rare Insults That Cut Straight To The Bone

Remember. If you don't like being criticized, it's important to go nowhere and do nothing. That way, no one will see your crumbling visage or the wretched products of your existence. So if you don't want your feelings hurt, sit in a dark room all day. And do it quietly.

Just about everything you do is going to attract some attention. If you are particularly popular, or better yet, popular for being unpopular, you're going to have a pretty striking mass of insults hurled your way. And some of them might even be good. A smaller number still might be so accurate and cutting that they'll make you want to crawl into a hole, then call a cement truck to have that hole filled, sealing you forever in a mausoleum of mediocrity. If you're lucky, some dumb kids might even come by and write their names in your hardening shame tomb.

Anyway, people on the internet are pretty good with insults. It's kind of to the point that we wonder if these people have anything better to do. They don't, but holy hell can they dunk some fiery roasts. 

People Share The Dumbest Questions They've Ever Been Asked

We shouldn't be too upset when someone asks a dumb question. They are, after all, trying to learn something and affording themselves the opportunity to be open minded. But sometimes when someone asks a question, they don't realize that they're revealing more about themselves than they might think. For example, a question like "why is the sky blue" is a totally reasonable thing to be curious about. But when a coworker looks up from his desk and asks you "why does the sky choose to be blue every day?" you are left with the impression that maybe this guy needs a little more than a simple explanation. He's gonna have to do some un-learning and reverse out of the idiot world he lives in before getting onto the right path.

Again, we shouldn't berate people for being curious and wanted to know things. We still do though, especially when the answer is right in front of them, and they're a grown up.

For some more exercises in mindless idiocy, here are some of the dumbest things people heard out of another person's mouth.

Birds Of Chaos Who Played By No Rules

There are cat people. There are dog people. Frankly that's most people. They argue over which is better, and attack each other over which animals are dumber or bigger sociopaths. And then there's the bird people. The bird people are in their own league. Because the bird people know that birds are truly insane. They bite, they squawk, the paint and they learn to swear. Birds surprise us every day with their genius as well as their brutality. Crows can remember faces, hold grudges, use tools and develop rudimentary bartering systems.

Not only are birds full of surprises, some of them get pretty big. And mean. Anyone who's ever been chased by a goose can attest that those bastards are up to no good. If there was a button that said "destroy the world" a goose would press it on the off chance the end of the world has anything to do with free bread.

For some insight into bird intelligence, here's a tumblr thread on the crow and kea.

Entitled Mom Steals Her Children's Birthdays For Years, Daughter Has Enough Of It

Every family is allowed to have their own traditions and celebrations. If you're not breaking the law, you can pretty much do whatever you want on your birthday.

But this mom has an interesting deal worked out. Evidently, for all of her kid's lives, their birthdays have served more as a celebration of how much they owe their mother for giving birth to them. And she takes it far, to the point where she gets nicer presents than her children. And she does it to all four kids. So she's essentially getting four extra birthdays a year. She's successfully stolen her own kids' birthdays. It sounds like something a jealous 11-year old would try to do.

Naturally, the oldest one started figuring out that swearing fealty to mother through quad-annual gifting isn't exactly a normal thing to do. And when she brought up the growing absurdity of the situation, mom didn't take it well. Not well at all.

So, maybe we should all be grateful that our parents didn't steal our birthdays? It sounds ridiculous to have to say that, but here we are.

For some more weirdness, here's the Disney mom who freaked out when her kid was gifted a non-Disney toy.

Husband Fakes Kidnapping of Infant Son in Order to Teach Wife Lesson

Redditor u/linpa-qnzia was shocked to learn that his wife had been leaving their infant son alone in an unlocked car. He describes that the practice became known to him when the couple stopped for food and his wife remarked that they didn't need to go through the drive-through as "It's not a big deal to leave the baby in the car to run in and pick [the food] up really fast." When he pressed further, she told him that "she's been doing it since he was born, and it's always been fine." 

U/linpa-qnzia was gob-smacked by this. Something that was utterly outrageous and obscene behavior to him seemed to be completely normal behavior as far as his wife was concerned. After some discussion, she seemed to come around and told u/linpa-qnzia that she would stop doing it.

Lo and behold, as he was driving home the next day, he saw his wife's car at the gas station and decided to stop and say hi. When he did, he realized that his son was in the car and his wife was nowhere in sight. That's when he decided that it was time to show his wife the risk she was putting their son in.  

Cocky-Demeaning Mechanic Gives Fixed Quote, Job Goes Way Over

When u/maddaneccles1 and his wife needed to get work done on their old car, u/maddaneccles1 had a good look at the car and noticed a crack in the exhaust manifold. He made it a pretty good way into dismantling the exhaust before encountering some extremely troublesome seized bolts. That's when they decided to take it in to the mechanic.

When u/maddaneccles1's wife got to the mechanic, the mechanic was extremely cocky. He quoted the wife for a long list of parts and repairs that u/maddaneccles1 was sure didn't need replacing. 

The couple had a look over the quote and decided to proceed with the work. When the wife went in to accept the quoted work, she was sure to ensure that it was a fixed quote, meaning no matter what the job ended up taking, the price wouldn't change.

This mechanic was about to rue the day that he agreed to this job.

___

For more cocky-entitled people getting their due check out this IT Head who stole a coveted email address. 

 

Dingbat Boyfriend Insists on Eating Peanuts Despite His Girlfriend's Serious Allergy, Won't Listen to Her

u/ThrowAway58585858853 has had an ongoing issue with her partner that has been approaching ridiculous levels. He has been bringing peanuts into her apartment even though she is deathly allergic. She has asked him kindly not to, yet the behavior persists. 

This idiot is an absolute nutcase. Imagine valuing a peanut over your partner's life. 

He is being completely disrespectful and unreasonable. Especially since her request extends, at this point, only to her own space, it is a massive red flag that he can't respect her space and medical requirements this early on in the relationship—time to send him and his peanuts packing.

I wonder if he's the same guy as the guy who sent his Tinder date to the emergency room after accidentally triggering her peanut allergy.

Is this their relationship evolving after all? Have they found true love? 

Harry Potter Obsessed Parents Force Their Fandom on Their Children, They're Now Getting Old Enough to Rebel

It looks like Ginny has some real rebellious energy going on here. True to her character, after all. 

It was only inevitable that our generation would find some way to torture our children. We're just doing it with obsessive fandoms instead of with forced athletics, piano lessons, and gymnastics like our Boomer parents did to us. 

It's one thing to enjoy something casually, be it fandom, sport, or team. It's another thing entirely to be wholly consumed by it to the point that it is everything that your life is based around. 

Branch out a little bit... Try something new. Get out of your comfort zone a little bit. You know? That's what life is about, after all. 

I can only imagine we'll see more and more posts like this as the children of more Millennials hit their teens.

u/LEAVEMEALOOOOOONE definitely has some things to work through with her parents. Here's to hoping that her parents see reason and let her live her own life. I bet she'll look back on this experience more fondly once she's older. 

People's Brilliant Ideas That Were Dumb Upon Review

If it was unclear already, we are stupid. We are stupid people with bad ideas. Most of the concepts that run through our heads are not functional in the real world. And the only thing that makes us even sound a little bit less-than-stupid is our ability to not say the stupid things we think at exactly the moment that we think them. So you're welcome, world. You're welcome that the amount of stupid things uttered isn't far larger thanks to our impressive ability to keep our mouths shut sometimes. We expect a deposit into our accounts on the morrow.

It could be caused by inebriation, tiredness or just our own lack of mental faculties, but everyone gets bad ideas. Sometimes our ideas are phenomenal, but that's only because we've just "invented" something that already exists. As stupid as our brilliant thoughts are, we can all have faith that even a stupid thing we invent could be used for something other than its intended purpose.

Guy Muds Himself Out Of Unfair Rental Charge

 It's happened to us all. You've arranged some kind of service like buying a ticket or opening a bank account. You're about to be done with this whole task. And then you see it. Some little note in the ledger. Just one little line that says "convenience fee" or "transaction charge," and next to it is a number. A number of dollars they expect you to pay because they're pretty sure you'll pay it "just because." This is a slap in the face. And face slaps are not to be taken lightly. They might as well have just tea-bagged your soup and looked at you as if that's standard procedure.

It's the worst feeling when a company tries to screw you over with a fraudulent fee and just expects you to pay it to make the problem (they created) go away. That's why it's so satisfying to see people push back against unfairness in any way they can, like this guy who got hounded for trivial debt and sent them a dime or this guy who battled a store owner who wouldn't change his phone number.

Brilliant Moves of Highly Variable Effectiveness

Intelligence is a variable thing. A lot of people are smart in some ways, but absolute garbo at other crap. There are brain surgeons out there with the emotional awareness of a cucumber. There are rocket scientists who brush their teeth in the morning and forget to turn off the faucet before leaving for work. If a brain surgeon and a rocket scientist had two kids, one would be a master of brain rockets and the other one would be sitting in a garbage can wondering why their chair has stinky water at the bottom.

It doesn't feel very good to be outsmarted. But at at the same time, it's worth having a chance to be the one doing the outsmarting. All we can really do is hedge our bets and try to be the outsmarter more often than the outsmarted. Of course it's often impossible to tell when you've been outsmarted, so maybe we're all just a bunch of fumbling rubes. For some brilliance in the form of bold shenanigans, here are some mad lads who made the world their big briny oyster.

Choosing Beggar Bride Insists Seamstress Friend Make Her A Wedding Dress For Free

This choosing beggar of a bride wanted her seamstress friend to make her a dress for free for her wedding.

Just imagine the entitlement that you must have to expect someone to provide you a trade or a service free of charge when it is the craft that they make their living off of. Time is money and you need to pay. This, of course, is different when a close friend volunteers their time and skills to you. 

This bride sounds like a really crappy friend. She is so willing to pitch a fit to try to get things her way when her friend is already giving her like 75% ($1800) off of the dress. Imagine saying that that isn't a good enough wedding present. 

This bride is sure to be a nightmare when it comes to adjustments and the dress not "being perfect" so it's probably better that her friend cuts ties and walks away.

For more wedding disasters check out this mother who insisted on pushing her hairdresser and friend onto her daughter.

 

Entitled Customer Outraged When Retail Staff Won't Help Him After Close

Anyone who has worked retail knows how this story goes. You're weary after a long day of interacting with hordes of people and glad for the respite that closing the doors offers.

As soon as you've turned the key... A wild Karen appears. Peering in through the glass door or a nearby window, desperately trying to lock eyes with a wayward employee to trap them and pull them into their clutches. If this fails, they will launch into a siren song to the chorus of "Hello? Anyone in there? Why can't you help me?".

Usually, this ends with management getting involved to avoid an absolute shipwreck and explaining how opening hours work to the expectant.

This is how it was for u/TRTVitorBelfort, who shared this story to r/talesfromretail. This old guy was not understanding that being even one minute late after close meant that the store was closed. The employees have lives and want to go home. Your entitled ignorance is the only thing preventing that from happening. 
 

Girl Gets Revenge On Teacher Who Told Her That She Would Never Succeed in the Best Way Possible

As we go through life we're always going to find ourselves at odds with certain people. It's just in our nature. Even if you try your best to please everyone and steer clear of conflict there are always going to be those out there who object to something basal about your existence.

It might be that you offend them in some way: Maybe your beliefs and ethos just don't align with theirs. Maybe it's something you said that rubbed them the wrong way. Maybe it's subconscious and they don't like your laugh or the way your voice sounds when you talk.

Whatever it might be, there's only one way to beat these people, these - haters. By moving forward, persevering, and living your best life -being the best version of yourself that you can be.

That's what our protagonist has managed to achieve here. By living her best version of herself that she can be she has managed to stick it to someone who looked down on her.

And that's the best type of revenge there is. 

Stupid Proof That Kids Are Almost a Different Species

When you're a kid, it's very hard to understand why your parents don't want you to do certain things. And that's not just because most children are narcissistic sociopaths who completely lack the capacity for empathy. It's because kids are so dumb that everything about the world just seems so arbitrary. When you're growing up, you don't realize that someday you're gonna have people depending on you, and those people cannot afford to have you spending all your time getting your head stuck in different buckets and collecting interesting rocks. Though that would be ideal.

Kids are dumb as rocks and weird as heck. These people are expected to one day become functioning members of society, but man, junk like this doesn't inspire confidence. Okay, maybe we should cut them a little slack. How much of a chance do you have at understanding reality when everyone in your social world keeps telling you Santa is real? Maybe it's not a mystery as to why kids are so strange and dumb.

People Name The Worst Movies They Have Ever Watched

Have you ever walked out of a movie and felt utterly disrespected for the very fact that someone thought you might want to sit through it? Have you ever had a movie that you were waiting for in anticipation only to be let down from great heights?

I'm sure every one of us has a movie that we would love to tag onto this list. Mine, without doubt, is Jupiter Ascending. It is far, and above the enormous pile of garbage I have ever watched. I'm a massive fan of the Wachowski's earlier films and watched the Matrix more times than I can count as a teen, but their recent films have been imperfect. 

Nevertheless, I let myself get hyped up for Jupiter Ascending. Against better judgment. The promise of Sean Bean and a newly-awarded oscar for best actor Eddie Redmayne was too alluring. We went with a group of friends, going relatively blind to the rest of the details of the film. The bulk share of our group ended up walking out halfway through in utter dismay.

I'm a sucker for punishment and had never walked out of a film in my life at that point, so I stuck it through. My reward was a horribly CGI'd scene of wolf-man Channing Space Tatum moonwalking in a pair of space boots. Bland acting, b-movie CGI, and plot all around.

It's time to name and shame. What's the worst movie you've ever had the displeasure of viewing?

Tenant Gets Unfair Fine, Pays In 37 Installments

As mostly polite people, we put up with far too much. We pay our rent in a timely fashion, we follow rules, and we get in hardly any fistfights over buffet crab legs. But the powers that be try to take advantage of our generosity at every single turn. And what's crazy is that more often than not, we go along with it. Sometimes landlords and bosses don't realize that our polite compliance is negotiable. Sometimes it's important to show people who abuse their power that we have every right to be annoying too.

This tenant was just trying to make things more convenient for their neighbors, but management wasn't about that. So naturally, things got very inconvenient for management. Why do people have to power trip anyway? It goes to show that it doesn't take much to throw a satisfying wrench into the gears of the powers that be. For more people standing up against totally stupid fees and fines, here's a guy who got hounded for trivial debt and sent them a dime and here's a guy who mudded himself out of a BS car rental fee.

People Share Protagonists and "Heroes" Who Are Actually Problematic

Ahh the protagonist. The all important one who is the center of their universe and can apparently do no wrong. Only when you peel a few layers back do you sometimes see them for the inaffable scoundrel that they really are. 

Sometimes it's looking at it from a different perspective. When a story is presented to us through the protagonists eyes we see the filtered view of their world, and everyone is their own hero, in both reality and fiction. Sometimes past events are just mentioned offhand. Innocuous details that actually hint and sometime more sinister when put into context. 

It's no secret that every protagonist isn't a hero and the hero isn't always a protagonist. But these characters all share a commonality in that they are presented by the context of their stories to be "good' but are actually hugely problematic. There's always going to be some debate too as to whether or not a character is actually supposed to BE a hero. So feel free to debate away. 

People Share The Change They Made To Their Lives That They Wish They Made Sooner

Let's get real here for a second.

Are you ready to change your life? It's always surprising, and honestly inspiring, the ripple effect that one small positive change to your daily routine can make. Adding or changing one small thing, like getting better sleep, and being consistent with it, can completely transform your mindset and day. These real-life life hacks might be that little thing that you need to get where you've wanted to be. 

This list is a mixed bag of tricks. Some things that might seem more obvious, some things that are a little more "out there."

My contribution here would definitely be adding more structure to my day by scheduling out everything that I want to accomplish when I first get up in the morning. I keep this on a calendar on my phone so that I can get back on track when I (inevitably) get distracted. It might seem like something that is stupidly basic for professionals but I've always struggled with executive functioning and time-blindness so finally training myself to do this has been a lifesaver. The last thing on my schedule for every day is to make a schedule for the next day so that there is always a schedule started when I wake up. Because once that consistent cycle is broken there is no telling when I'll get back to it…

This combined with keeping better sleep habits, I've recently started using SleepScore, made a massive difference for me in the last year.

_______________________

What are the changes that you've made to your life that had a massive impact? And what changes would you like to make?

 

 

Goofs and Blunders That Should Have People Rethinking Their Choices

There are only so many ways to make yourself feel smarter. One way is to spend time reading, taking tests and memorizing meaningful and important information. The other way it to watch people do stupider things than you could dream of. Remember: if you want to be higher up than someone, you don't have to climb a mountain. You just have to stand next to the idiot who's standing in a hole.

That's not to say we don't also make mistakes. We totally do. We make great terrible mistakes that surprise our loved ones and scare dogs away when they explode all over our back yards and begin to attract ants. But maybe the only difference between these people and the rest of us who make idiotic mistakes is that these people documented them. So maybe that doesn't make us smart. Maybe that just makes us liars by omission. That's something to think about.

We are people, and we are the proud, glowing mothers of our own blunders, goofs, mistakes and chaos. Observe as we huff and puff, screaming in agony as we push out these facepalm moments made possible by the brutally stupid.

Cheapskate Tries to Renegotiate Price of Goods on Pickup, Ends Up Paying More

Just, don't try to renegotiate the price of a used good sale on pickup. It has to be the most infuriating thing. 

I'm a big cyclist and generally have more parts lying around than I know what to do with. Back when I was working at a bike shop I had some tires for sale on Facebook marketplace. I put them up at a great price and got tons of messages. The same as OP I just went with the first message because first come first serve.

The guy comes to collect the tires, recognizes me from the shop, and immediately starts trying to renegotiate the price "since I got them at a discount". He ended up going home without tires and the second person who messaged got a good deal.  

Props to u/snsgrg for not putting up with this guy's BS and getting more money out of him in the end.

____

For more revenge, check out this guy who nuked his entire catalog of work years after being fired from his job.

Restaurant Sign Dispenses Jokes and Wisdom

Jokes just hit harder when they're put up on a 10 foot tall sign in front of a restaurant, gas station or lumber yard. When you think about it, it's kinda like giant twitter.

Should we feel guilty about getting advice from a random sign? Absolutely not. We routinely get advice from our friends, and those people don't know anything. Who's to say that a stranger with a stack of letters can't have something meaningful or at least amusing to say? It's our right to listen to wisdom harder because it is physically bigger.

Why not get all your musings from a Tex-Mex restaurant sign in Austin, Texas? There's something so folksy yet official about sign jokes. Maybe the knowledge that a random person had to go out there and put up every letter by hand just gives it more meaning? Maybe it's the boldness of putting opinions on a big sign for thousands to see? Maybe we just like signs. It definitely works for this sign whose pun game is too on point.

Insane-Entitled Boss Asks Employee to Come Into Work During Vacation Because They Are "Short-Staffed"

"But we're SO short-staffed!"

Nothing like getting that dreaded phone call on your day off asking if you can come in to help out due to your employer's lack of proper planning and permanent refusal to roster enough people to cover. Those are the major aspects of retail and hospitality that you're glad to get away from.

Getting that text/phone call during your vacation is a whole new level of which I have never heard. Pretty bold move by this manager, especially given her response when she was contacted on her vacation. 

Nonetheless, that's exactly what happened to u/Impossible-Head2121 at their job. This entitled boss expected them to show up regardless of the fact that they were on vacation. Who would have thought that this could ever be behavior that an employer would even consider?

Of course, the comments are quick to take u/Impossible-Head2121's side and offer them their support.

For more horrible bosses check out this guy who quit on the spot when he was asked "do you know my name" by the owner's son.

Entitled Couple Loses Out Big-Time When They Sit on an Offer For Their House

There are those who don't know how good they have it, and there are those who think they have it better than they've got. This couple fell into the latter grouping. 

When u/IBSmeansnopizza was looking to move closer to his parents, he found a house that seemed pretty overpriced close to his parents. The signs were all there that the couple (showing their own home) might be challenging to deal with. The couple thought they smelled blood in the water when u/IBSmeansnopizza told them that he wanted to move closer to his parents. He notes that they must have assumed he was desperate. 

Their behavior after the viewing would ultimately lead to their downfall. When u/IBSmeansnopizza submitted an offer that they felt was fair, the couple took an entire week to decline it. The couple then refused to consider the follow-up offer as they "Hadn't even started looking for a house yet."

u/IBSmeansnopizza gave up and found another house. He then discovered that the couple's home was still on the market six months later...

Insane Choosing Beggar Demands $30 "For Her Birthday",

There's nothing like family and friends hitting you up for some cold hard cash. Something about lending money to people never ends well. The lending act adds new and tumultuous elements to the relationship that few can survive. 

As the age-old saying goes, you should never lend money to anyone that you can't afford to never see again.

This logic hits another level entirely when friends start straight-up asking you for cash, with no guarantee of a return payment.

This is what happened in the case of u/felsfels, who received a message from their high school friend sometime after graduation. She began asking u/felsfels for money, implying that all of their other friends were giving her money too "for her birthday."

When u/felsfels questioned her request, she responded that it must be because u/felsfels didn't have the money. The audacity…

u/felsfels further reported the following:

"I haven't spoken to her since high school. After this, she complained to one of my friends about me blocking her."

Also saying that,

"I laughed because I genuinely thought she was joking at first. It blows my mind."

 

What's the weirdest request you've ever received from an acquaintance? 

 

For more like this check out this Karen sister-in-law who wanted to assess her brother-in-law's boatfor her own personal use.

Director Tries to Leverage Secret Affair With IT Head in Order to Delete Evidence, Backfires Horribly

Imagine this scenario: 

You've been making terrible decisions at work that have led to a massive delay in your department's projects. You're convinced that your inexperienced opinion is more valid than your experienced, technically minded subordinates. When the day of reckoning arrives, you suddenly have made clear to you what everyone else has known all along: Your ideas were wrong and missed the point.

What do you do now?

A: Accept that you were wrong and eat humble pie.

B: Engage in an extramarital affair with the IT Director and attempt to use your relationship with them to eradicate all evidence of your poor decision-making. Leading the way for you to be able to pin it on a subordinate. 

I'd like to think that most of us are picking A at this point. But, if you've reached the point where you're even needing to make this decision, it stands to reason that you're not the best at making decisions in the first place. 

 

For more terrible bosses trying to mess with employees' schedules and vacation… Check out this one that tried to make an employee come in during their vacation which led to the employee taking a permanent vacation. 

Manager Forces Employee to Change Schedule, Immediately Rues Own Decision

Redditor, u/MisterBowTies, shared this story to the r/maliciouscompliance subreddit this week.

When they were working for a physical media chain, they were brought on board to help at a new location. This meant that they were still hiring all roles, so the District Manager hired u/MisterBowTies since the position of his direct report was still vacant.

 The District Manager hired u/MisterBowTies with the mutual understanding that he would have a narrow window of availability. But that narrow window would comprise the worst shifts in retail which are, consequently, the hardest to fill.

I used to manage retail and can tell you from experience that finding someone willing to work both weekend days and close regularly is like finding a unicorn. Particularly with the weekend days. Most positions are required to work one weekend day but finding someone who can work both is impossible. Filling these roles with part-time labor is essential when experiencing high trade volumes these days.

The trouble began when u/MisterBowTies' manager was hired on. She began to take issue with the fact that he had already predetermined his schedule with the district manager.

The issue wasn't the schedule itself. It was the fact that she couldn't control it.

She HATED the fact that I had a set schedule, not because I was needed at other times, I was working the least desirable shifts, it was because she didn't control it.

This would all come to a head when she tried to exercise her power over u/MisterBowTies by unnecessarily changing his schedule to one that was less profitable for the business.

Funny Tweets To Help Forget About Everything For A Second

Welcome to the future. We had a choice of two paths. One was a world of flying cars and free insulin. The other was a world with lightning fast, near instant communication and interconnectivity. A network of interconnected pipes that turned information into electricity and then back into consumable text. An "Inter-net" if you will. An inter-net that can send mail completely electronically. Like some kind of e-mail.

We chose the latter. And yeah, we might still be driving the same cars we were 20 years ago. And lifesaving medications that cost pennies to produce are being sold at wildly inflated rates for no benefit to most people, and also putting people on the street. Streets we wouldn't need if our cars could fly.  But the internet lets us complain about all of these things at lightning fast speed. So that's something.

Well, if you wanted to forget about all that stuff, here are some funny things people observed about the world, all funneled through this confusing cyber web, this mystifying "inter-net."

Here are some funny tweets to viciously unleash upon boredom.

People Share The Things That Their Spouse Does Not Know About

Open communication and honesty are important to any romantic partnership. That sounds overly simple and obvious, but sometimes it's hard to tell a person how you feel, especially when it's inconvenient. Now lies? Lies are the stitches that hold the Frankenstein of a relationship together. So like, that will work too. If you want a relationship that is so misshapen and unnatural that it staggers around while getting chased by pitchfork-wielding bumpkins, you can lie to your spouse for as long as you want. It'll be a cursed façade of the real thing, much like Frankenstein's monster, but it will "work."

At the same time, being completely brutally honest with people all the time can be tedious, boring, and at times mean. People like surprises, and a certain amount of careful dishonesty can be important if you want to make something exciting for someone. The right amount of lying lets people live their fantasy, which is sort of what you want for your loved ones.

And sometimes when it comes to not knowing things, people are simply willfully ignorant. Even when it comes to junk like "I didn't know that the thermostat costs money." That's frustrating.

If you're prepared to lie to your partner about something trivial, make sure it never gets found out, like this guy who lied to his wife about gummy flavors for 13 years until she found out.

Satisfying And Comfortable Images Of Things Fitting Perfectly

What can we say? It's nice when things line up. Neatness and tidiness are virtues that often get overlooked, and the satisfaction we get when viewing a perfect fit makes us feel complete. Maybe the allure of things fitting makes us think that there's order in the universe. Like it's a reminder that certain things were actually meant to be. For a moment, a mattress perfectly eclipsing a door frame makes us believe that everything might actually work out. It's a visual representation of completeness and control.

Maybe it's unhealthy to derive a sense of satisfaction from looking at a lemon in a cup. Or maybe it's just us being in the moment. Either way, boy is that lemon really fitting in that cup. Oh yeah, baby that's some sweet lemon-on-cup action.

Some of us don't care when things line up like this. Those people are wrong. And they probably need to clean their kitchen. 

For some more visual satisfaction, here are handsomely satisfying images of aesthetic perfection.