Monday, November 29, 2021

Man's Effective and Idiotic Loophole Enrages Burger Guy


In this world of strict corporate policy, we sometimes find ourselves in absurd situations asking "the pickles are right there, the onions are right there, why can't I have one with pickles and onions" only to be met with a stone-faced representative saying "I'm sorry but that's impossible and I will be fired If I do that." Of course no one wants to be a Karen customer,  so we are left to use our brains to develop really stupid loopholes.

Old-Timey Christmas Cards Were Horrifically Weird


Nowadays, the holidays are a time for family gatherings, drinking (or hating) egg nog, and considerably less murder-by-bears. Apparently before we had the now classic Santa-in-the-red-suit business, people had dancing frogs and turnip-aristocrats. For other surprising old-timey stuff, there's also some cool vintage life-hacks from forever ago.

Girl's New Toy Flies Straight Into Fireplace


It doesn't necessarily give us "joy" to see a child helplessly watch their brand new toy bolt into flames like a moth attacking a lightbulb. If anything, it's a learning experience for the kid. Sometimes, life just be like that. Extra points for that dad's in-the-moment certainty that that toy ain't gonna make it.

Thai Cough Pill Ad Proves Once Again That Thai Ads Are Absolutely Excellent


It came to our attention when we saw this Epic Thai Bug Spray Commercial that Thailand is light-years ahead of the rest of the world when it comes to advertising. These beautifully weird odysseys through the personification of various products come off like Tim and Eric Sketches that just about everyone can find some joy in. Seriously, this is great.

Subtle Signs That Someone Is Dumb


It's not always obvious right away. It's possible to know someone for weeks and months without knowing that that have the dumb. But then one day you're hanging out and you say something like "I wonder what the weather is going to be like tomorrow" and instead of checking the forecast they hit you with "I don't know but I hope the weatherman doesn't decide to make it rain tomorrow." So here are some signs someone might have an open position in their critical thinking department. And here are some of the dumbest things people have ever heard.

Bad Manager Takes Charge In Coup, Causes Time Card Mutiny


We see it time and time again. A completely nonfunctional manager seizes power through treachery only to rule with a stupid fist. In this case it was the complete misunderstanding of having a functional pay logging system that tipped the people into a full-on revolt against the Red Queen. For an amazing story of office malicious compliance, here's the saga of employees getting back at their unhinged CEO.

People's Most Succulently Absurd Drama From This Past Thanksgiving


With the holiday season pretty much in full swing, it's that time of year to find out which of our relatives are in strained relationships, which uncle has slipped even further into his delusional conspiracy hole, and if grandma can still cook a good pecan pie. Business as usual. Here are people's personal highlights of this year's Thanksgiving. For some wild moments of domestic drama, here are some of people's worst houseguests.

IT Guy Learns Machine Is Stuck On In "Explode" Setting


It's not crazy to wonder, maybe there's a way to avoid having a piece of equipment risk explosion if one computer monitor fails. Not trying to be pushy here, but it's a thought. Tech support sees its own share of nightmares, and we should thank them every day for solving the problems everyone else seems so inept at dealing with. For another fun tech support story, here's the tale of Miss Jones.

Educational Tumblr Post On Proper Monster Care


What a nice little gem from a wonderful mind in the world of Tumblr. This fun Tumblr post provides a comprehensive rundown on what one must do to provide proper care for certain kinds of notable monsters. If you're looking for more gold from Tumblr check out this Tumblr post about some dudes that avoided chaotic evil with skimpy outfits and pure love

People's "No One is Gonna Believe This" Moments


It's hard when something extremely strange or unlikely happens, because you want to tell someone without sounding like a liar or moron. People are right to be skeptical, but why would anyone lie about walking in on a vested goat eating a roll of toilet paper? You've got moments like these strange events people can't explain logically that make you think, "how am I gonna tell anyone about this?" It's so hard to explain rare and unlikely moments that went against the odds. 

Nasty Neighbors Destroy Couple's Tomatoes, Couple Unleashes Ants Army


The whole ongoing game of seeing who you'll end up with for your neighbors is a dicey one. You never know if you're going to have someone move in next to you who is basically a wholesome, angelic masterpiece, or if you'll end up with a mean monster seemingly committed to making your existence a miserable one. It sounds like this couple was very much so on the latter side of good vs. evil. They went after the tomatoes, man. You don't mess with the tomatoes. There are some moral lines you don't cross in this crazy world, and that's absolutely one of them. 

If this petty revenge tale got you going check out 10 of the pettiest petty revenge tales over here

Unprofessional "Not My Job" Moments Of Incompetence


Half of us couldn't bothered to be better at their jobs, and the other half have been bothered so much about it that we do a bad job out of spite. These "not my job" moments of professional ineptitude are good reminders that nothing's for sure in this crazy world. Toilets get installed backwards and road signs get misspelled. Anything goes when it comes to unprofessional moments of failure.

Funny and Sweet Random Tumblr Gems


The internet is an amazing place where great and dumb minds alike congregate to discuss the details of cotton candy etymology, legendary jestering, and astronaut corpse disposal. It all ends up in these random and funny tumblr gems. So takes some time to run those eye fingers through a pile of shiny tumblr gems.

Creepy Warning Signs That Mean Serious Business


We live in a world of unconventional hazards. It might seem cartoonish to think that you might get hit by a propeller, get bit by a plague-carrying rodent or fall down a hidden mineshaft. If those weren't things that could happen, we wouldn't need ominous signs that mean serious business. While sometimes horribly weird and unsettling, these creepy and ominous signs are doing their job.

Jerk Boss Bumps Vacation, Employee Changes Passwords and Leaves


If there's ever a time to show your worth at a company, it's when you're not around to put out all the fires. This boss just had to have his vacation exactly when he wanted, even if that meant screwing over his employee. His poorly timed request for new passwords ensured things wouldn't run smoothly when the employee ended up taking a break. For another boss that did it to themselves, here's an employee who derailed their incompetent boss by working their scheduled hours.

Sunday, November 28, 2021

Tumblr Thread: The Human on A Vulcan Ship


In typical tumblr fashion, we've got a situation that upends ye olde sci fi tropes with the prospect of a regular person chilling on a ship full of cold, calculating Vulcans. It's reminiscent of this study into human nature featuring a space-worthy weaponized Roomba. Tumblr has its own Star Trek ideas, like these questions Tumblr had about gay Klingons.

Mad Lads Who Blazed Their Own Trail


Life has all this boring convention and expectation to it. That's why mad lads who play by their own rules can be such a refreshing change. The mad lads of the world are out doing shenanigans, subverting the world's expectations, and going the extra mile for their own ridiculous ends. It's all about those mad lads who play the game their way.

Mike Judge Explains The Origins of Boomhauer's Voice


Back when Mike Judge was doing Beavis and Butthead, or as some would call it, Porky's Butthole, he got a strange and interesting critic who would one day become the inspiration for everyone's favorite mushmouthed jargon-spewer Jeff Boomhauer.

Smelter Spills Liquid Aluminum Everywhere


Ever seen a big bucket of molten metal and wondered what would happen if that thing took a little spill? Thanks to terrifying workplace accidents, we have the answer. Now it's time to wonder what it's like to have to clean up a few hundred gallons of cooling aluminum. Get the mop.

Boss Uses Eye Gag to Remove Problem Customers


Gotta love a manager with a sense of humor to match their intolerance for idiotic customers. Employees have dealt with some ridiculous customer demands, having to debase themselves for the flawed and almighty " customer is always right" mentality. Here's another one where a customer weaponized a tip jar to defeat a Karen.

Creepy Signs That Make Their Message Clear


The world is full of unforeseen hazards, and we can thank creepy sign makers for clueing the rest of us in on all the junk we could step into. Spooky signs say a lot with their creepiness and sometimes the sign itself is scarier than the danger. That said most of us would prefer not to fall into a radioactive mine shaft so we can thank these spooky signs even if they're too dang scary.

Neighbor Steals Man's Power And Water, Nuclear Revenge Ensues


Sometimes you meet someone and you just know they're going to be nothing but trouble without even knowing them. This revenge story's villainous couple certainly gave off those shady vibes. Bill had the audacity to steal the guy's power and water over and over again, and vastly underestimated the guy's capacity for executing a beautiful, calculated revenge. The pool salt was just a plain old brutal touch. 

Check out another glorious pro revenge tale from the same guy over here. Can't decide which one's better. 

Bootleg Toys That Are Somehow Better Than The Originals


Bootleg products never fail to capture our imaginations. When it comes to off brand toys, some are just weird amalgams of spare parts and others are freaky new mutations. Outside the safe and predictable world of branded, trademarked products lies an untamed land of uncredible bootleg products. Welcome to the jungle, baby. 

Invasive Neighbor Refuses To Park Elsewhere, Gets Car Towed, Expects Compensation


Nothing quite like a good old neighbor quarrel over a parking spot. In this case, the invasive neighbor at hand refused to be reasonable and park where they should've in the first place. So, naturally, the person being blocked in had them towed away. Honestly, it seems like that was the only move available at their disposal after trying to reason with them. The moral judges of Reddit's AITA community seem to be in agreement as well that the towing was completely appropriate. 

Times The Quiet Kid Had Their Moment


Every school had it's extremely compelling drama, from ways people rebelled against school rules to weird and wild junk said by teachers. Every class had a quiet kid, and while that kid wasn't always the center of attention, they had their moments. When push came to shove, that quiet kid had something insightful or hilarious to say.

Tumblr Thread: Linguini Was The Unbreakable Champion Of "Ratatouille"


Just in case you haven't seen the iconic, cinematic masterpiece that is "Ratatouille", it's a lovely animated film that follows the adventures of a struggling 20-something named Linguini. The dude falls on hard times after his mother passes away, and then proceeds to be thrown headlong into the challenging pits of a competitive Parisian restaurant. To make matters even more wild for the poor kid, he ends up befriending a rat who knows how to cook like nobody's ever seen. It's really a miracle Linguini didn't have a full on mental collapse with all that going on. This Tumblr thread honors his struggles that were kind of skimmed over in the film. 

Check out some more totally random, strange, and funny Tumblr gems over here

People Who Desperately Didn't Get The Joke


Sure the internet has the potential to connect us with savvy, like-minded individuals, but it also gives us more deaf ears for jokes to fall on. Maybe it's poor reading comprehension or maybe it's not wanting to get the joke in the first place. It's amusing, but also kind of sad to see so many people aggressively not getting the joke.

Cursed Foods That Deserve a Restraining Order from The World's Mouths


While the internet is the painful home for a whole lot of strange and cursed images to feel weird about, no cursed images hit that peculiar disgust-factor quite like cursed foods from lucifer's larder. It's a dark carnival of horrible food combinations, bad ideas, and food caught up in intriguing situations. Whatever it is, it's a lot.

Dumbest Things People Have Ever Said


We've all been there at one point or another in our lives. We're going about our daily business, just trying to check all the boxes without completely failing, and then boom, someone you know, never met, or you ends up spewing out something into the atmosphere that is discouragingly devoid of common sense. Maybe it's an innocent brain fart, or perhaps it's something more ominous, like pure ignorance. This collection of the dumbest things that people have ever said might at the very least serve to make you feel just a bit better about yourself. 

Perspective-Confuzzling Images of Double Takery


Our brains think they're good at identifying things, but sometimes it's better to clear the pipes and show those brains of ours just how dumb they really are. A few double take images of skewed perspective are enough to show your brain that it's not so smart after all. Take that brain, you wet, electricity-powered moron.