Wednesday, February 10, 2021

Programmer Humor For The World's Tech Wizards


We're well aware at this point that the folks in this world who work in tech support or just the IT department in general really do hold the keys to the kingdom in some sense. With that being said, tech support deals with all kinds of mind blowing acts of cluelessness from paid professionals that seemingly fell through the cracks on some of the most basic technological knowledge. It could be a scenario where you find yourself being the IT guy who is dealing with a professor that doesn't understand how internet browsers work. That kind of daunting realization requires nothing short of a saintly patience to be able to move forward in the troubleshooting process without losing grip on your sanity altogether.

Or, maybe you're another one of those lucky IT guys who has to calmly walk a company's CEO through how to reboot a computer. Yes, these people really exist. You never know what you might encounter while you muddle through your job in the tech support world. The stories we're able to enjoy from an established subreddit like "Tales From Tech Support" though are eye-opening tales about just how lost some of the world's poor souls are, for when it comes to navigating the use of their computer or other pieces of technological equipment.

Maybe some of the most grim stories from the tech support world will manage to make you feel better about your moments of profound confusion when trying to use your work device. Some people's brains just operate at a frequency where they're completely not tuned into how to use a fancy computer. Perhaps, this is the inevitable collective manifestation of technology continuing to evolve at such a rate that the older generations especially, are pretty much helpless in their pursuit toward getting the most out of their fancy computers, tablets, phones etc. Seems like a reasonable enough assumption to draw. You very well might have fond memories of trying to explain to a parent how they can turn off their iPhone, or change the input on a TV.

But alas, we're straying off the topic of programmers explicitly. Programmers are definitely the backbone of many esteemed companies. They're out there in the pits of the coding world, providing the infrastructure necessary for a company to keep up with these fast moving technological times. With that being considered, it should come as no surprise that programmers are regularly pushed to their breaking point in terms of the kinds of unbelievably clueless questions they field on a daily basis. And these same programmers are furiously working away at all kinds of projects that many of us couldn't hope to understand the first thing about. Maybe we're just gradually sliding into a reality where everyone's going to need to know how to code at some level. The skill itself seems to continue to skyrocket in value, and more and more it's as if people that are able to code have some kind of golden ticket for when it comes to locking down the next promising job opportunity. All in all, these gems from the world's fed up programmers should certainly get the laughs going for anyone who has ever dabbled in the dark art of coding.

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Organism - Zhuowei Zhang @zhuowei Never spend 6 minutes doing something by hand when you can spend 6 hours failing to automate it

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Font - Omonbude Emmanuel @BUDESCODE To replace programmers with Robots, clients will have to accurately describe what they want. We're safe. 7:25 PM · 20 Jul 20 · Twitter for Android

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Font - ankit @WtFawwk *starts typing a new line of code* IDE: what is that? what are you writing? tell me right now! wtf? that's not right! is that even rea.. *completes the line* IDE: oh lol nvm. 9:26 PM · 08 Jun 20 · Twitter for Android

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Line - Jens Ravens @JensRavens Replying to @tiangolo Last year I got rejected during a job interview for "not understanding" the concepts of a certain ioS library. What the interviewer didn't know: I wrote that thing. I actually had a lot of fun during that interview >

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Rectangle - L(9S @SeanTAllen · 12h If you clone a person, are they the same person? 000 Yes No 84 votes · 11 hours left 27 1 Liam Hammett @LiamHammett · 11h Depends if you clone by reference or by value 00 27 1 14

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Product - Eddy Vinck @EddyVinckk JavaScript Web developers in 2020: If we split our JavaScript into separate files and load them on demand we can make the initial request to the homepage 30Kb smaller Game developers in 2020: Here's a 110Gb download including files we're not even using anymore

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Organism - christina zhu @cszhu if you're not happy single, you won't be happy in a relationship. true happiness comes from closing 100 chrome tabs after solving an obscure programming bug, not from someone else

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Organism - ird Allah Dawood Ali AO INPAES VEI IN KU @yugdiputsa The best apps I have developed: 1. Hello World 2. Test App 3. Untitled Project

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Font - Chirasul @chirasul since we're having a baby in a couple months, the discord is discussing parenting life hacks Chirasul Today at 2:31 PM give your baby a dollar immediately after birth before they receive their social security number. when they receive their SS, they're value is reset automatically to 0. now take back that dollar. baby now has a negative value; the social security buffer cant handle a negative number so it immediately flips around to the highest 32-bit integer, letting y

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Font - Thread Computer programming Kat Maddox @ctrlshifti me: why isn't this working? normal languages: you screwed up over here me: oh thanks me: why isn't this working? javascript: O me: please i'm begging you javascript: O 9:40 AM · Aug 18, 2020 · Twitter Web App 350 Retweets and comments 2.1K Likes

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Organism - Francesco Napoletano @napolux Give a man a program, frustrate him for a day. Teach a man to program, frustrate him for a lifetime. 12:30 PM · 11 May 20 · Buffer 492 Retweets 1,759 Likes

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World - Randall Koutnik Follow @rkoutnik Why programmers like cooking: You peel the carrot, you chop the carrot, you put the carrot in the stew. You don't suddenly find out that your peeler is several versions behind and they dropped support for carrots in 4.3 9:22 PM - 16 Jan 2019 1,845 Retweets 5,689 Likes 68 t7 1.8K 5.7K

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Product - @bejewelledbud Can you guys please recommend books that made you cry? Frease O char.mander. @FreaseDaddy Data Structures and Algorithms in Java (2nd Edition) 2nd Edition by Robert Lafore (Author) ***** 114 customer reviews Look inside Kindle Doo Hardcover Paperback Other Se $29.80 $33.89 - $45.04 $23.39 - $27.18 See all 6 versi Buy used Buy new DATA STDUCTURES In Stock

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Font - Which language is best, C, C++, Python or Java? Andrea Ferro, Knows a few programming languages. Learning a fe. Answered January 7, 2015 If you are writing an operating system, I suggest you use C. If you are writing a very complex application where execution speed is extremely important, I suggest you use C++. If time to market is key, but execution speed is not important, I suggest you use python. If your boss told you: "do it in Java or you are fired" I suggest you use Java and look fo

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Font - I Am Devloper @iamdevloper Every now and then, ping one of your competitor's websites using an IE6 VM. Keep them on their toes. 11:57 AM · Jul 24, 2018 · Twitter Web Client 3.3K Retweets 10.2K Likes

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Font - Phil Lynch @PhilipLynchGW ... my code better start doing what i want it to do instead of what i'm telling it to do 6:21 AM · 11/27/20 · Twitter Web App

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Product - Paul Graham replied Tawanda Nyahuye @towernter What is the biggest lie you have heard from a programmer? 6:42 PM - Jul 10, 2020 · Twitter for Android 362 Retweets and comments 1.4K Likes @paulg · 7h Replying to @towernter "It should work now." Paul Graham 27 27 54 1.1K

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Band Plays Along With Car Alarm, Absolutely Crushes It


Nothing quite like seeing a band seize the moment and proceed to play along masterfully with a car alarm. Seriously, a car alarm has never been so bearable. 

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Tagged: impressive , Music , Video , band , win

Tuesday, February 9, 2021

Slingshot Rider Stabilizes Her Friend's Head as She Passes Out


People pass out on rides all the time, but they don't usually get any help. At least it's nice to have a decent friend who checks your pulse and makes sure you don't break your neck between your intermittent bouts of lucidity. Most of us have friends who would just laugh at us as we flop around.

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Giant Chicken Is An Absolute Unit of A Bird


Knowing that this thing is walking around, it makes a little more sense that chickens are distantly related to T-Rexes. Dang, that bird is so big it belongs on Sesame Street. Are we sure this behemoth isn't just an ostrich?

Submitted by: (via Chit Elinon)

Nathan Fielder Reads UW Professor's Reviews


Nathan Fielder's a comedian who is infamous for instigating acts of hilarious chaos in the middle of otherwise boring conversations. His show "Nathan For You" is a goldmine. In this video though, we get to see Nathan Fielder clearly accidentally leave something up on his screen that many folks probably wouldn't want to share with the rest of the world.

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IT Guy Assumes Professor Understands Technology, Professor Proves Otherwise


Don't judge a book by its cover. For better or for worse. What initially seems like a promising situation with a professor who gives off technology savvy vibes, ends up devolving into a puzzling situation where the IT dude has to work around the professor's glaring lack of knowledge on how an internet browser works. At least the issue was able to be "resolved."

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Bragging Cringe Lords Who Think They're Geniuses


Being smart isn't just about knowing a few big words or thinking deep thoughts. Society has a slippery idea of what intelligence means, so sometimes what you get is a bunch of cringey braggarts who think they're geniuses. It's fine to be smart and have opinions, but when you spend your time "eviscerating dullards" in the Youtube comments section, how smart could you really be?

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Black - ul Mint LTE 5:27 PM © 10 64% I enjoyed meeting you last night and enjoyed introducing you to The Expanse, but I don't think we'd be a good fit. same.. could i ask why on the last part? I'm very intelligent. When I was in college at Rice (and surrounded by very intelligent people), I was still so far beyond my peers that it was isolating. Indeed, there's a decent chance that I'm the smartest person you've ever met, and my intellect plays a big enough role in the functioning of my inner li

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Purple - : Anonymous 11/19/15(Thu)19:20:19 No.7370618 Definitely 11% of my personality is making literary references nobody gets. This is because I make literary references to my own literature, which remains unpublished. When somebody does something outrageously stupid, I say, "Wow, you're really pulling a Gregory Berrycone there." I wait for somebody to ask who Gregory Berrycone is, and then explain that he is a minor character in my absurdist novella (untitled right now) about a man who wakes

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Font - i am so ready to completely LOSE MY S. T WITH MY HUSBANDS QUACK I MEAN DOCTOR FCK WITH THE BULL[ME] YOU GET THE HORNS EVERY TIME 2 Comments Like Comment Share WHEN YOU HAVE A SUPERIOR INTELECT WHICH I DO YOU HAVE A VERY DIFFICULT TIME LISTENING TO MINDLESS DRIVVLE COMING FROM A SO CALLED EXPERT Like Reply PLEASE DONT USE BIG WORDS I MAY NOT UNDERSTAND YOU BUT THEN AGAIN I HAVE READ THE WEBSTERS DICTIONARY TWICE IN MY LIFE FOR THE FUN OF IT SO MAYBE I FORGOT A FEW BIG WORDS SO PLEASE TALK

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Light - 3 4 10 Kolour Co 10 23 Comments O Like Comment 1. Everything here is horrible steel and close to trash. At least the shorter blade of 1 is less likely to snap or cause personal injury to the user, and the shaft length puts it even further away 69

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Font - JUST DO NOTHING IT IS IMPOSSIBLE JUST DO IT NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE 1 like The crux of what's wrong with my generation. Most of them are either too stupid to see the full picture, or they are too poor to afford full access. I'm neither. I'm rare. #ThatsWhyTheyHateMe #ThatsWhylHateThem.

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Font - Vo) 4G 05:46 * LTE1 l 92% Replies 4 years ago This is a great playthrough even though it can get a bit frustrating to watch! Keep it up! ç›®1 Add a public reply... 1 year ago It's even worse if you have a high IQ. Believe me. II

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Rectangle - Replies I usually just go to the doc when I'm really sick. I tell them what's wrong, what meds I need, what doses, and for how long. They just look at me like O. 16 m Like Reply レ

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Product - 12 hrs My attention span has gotten so bad I 201 25 Comments 1 Share Like Comment Share Top comments Write a comment. Whilst one appreciates this is a joke, and certainly the word gotten' does date back to Middle English, nevertheless it is not used in British English (but is very common in North America). I would hate to think of you as a common North American. Like Reply - 11 hrs

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Military camouflage - Sierra, Echo, November, Delta, November, Uniform, Delta, Echo, Sierra. None of the girls would get this. Half the guys won't either.

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Motor vehicle - People? The majority of people have no interest in thinking and no ability to do so. They have no capacity to make sound judgements and there is no continuing ongoing or routine internal dialogue regarding sensory input and the meaning possibility or implication and consequence of observed phenomena - beyond a need to discover and to conform to and to appear to be participating in the consensus that has been presented as substitute for their own gigantic and fatal and terminal in

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Font - Score hidden · 1 hour ago I am sad when good artists composers et al are ignored rejected overlooked I too am one. Will get shit for saying this, but my music is simply amazing. May be some of the most important music in the late 20th century/early 21st century. There are many gifted, genius level people who never see the light of day, I am just one of them. If given the chance we all will have altered the world of art, music, theatre etc and infuse new life with inspiration But we can't

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Automotive lighting - ... 19m • Tonight was the worst bowling performance I have committed in perhaps the last 5 years. I could blame it on the chaos of the current era and my lack of decent sleep over the last couple of weeks, but I have reached the age where excuses are insufficient; the crutch of the weak-minded. I will acknowledge this failing, incorporate it into the tapestry of memory, and seek to diminish its glare in my next attempts. In these coming dark times, I must aim higher, and st

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Organism - 17 1 Sapiosexual I JEE Aspirant I Astrophile I Philomath I Polymath I PolyglotI Optimist I Perfectionist I Intellectual I INTJ-A 9w3 I Agnostic- Atheist I Apolitical I Anarchist I Cricketer I lIdealist Becoming a Billionaire is the final destination for me. Not interested in Girls who can't solve a simple arithmetic question in their mind, please don't bring dishonour to my intellectual integrity. Narcissistic it may sound, but having high self esteem and holding myself to high standa

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Product - 9:14 Trev Chat Profile You invited Trev to start the chat Today, 4:09 PM you have the most superfluously refulgent and scintillant eyes, resembling a pair of paraselene in the evening firmament. I hope you're staying safe and healthy in all of this recent upheaval Send a message Send

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Font - "My ex girlfriend left me because I did not agree to her request to get sushi for her birthday, all I did is explaining the dangers of anisakis parasites that is found in raw fish, I wanted to invite her to a good restaurant, but she left in anger."

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Roommate Leaves Passive Aggressive Notes Around Apartment, Petty Revenge Ensues


Passive aggressive behavior is gross. People can take their passive aggressiveness to nauseating heights as well. In the case of this little housing drama we have a roommate who insisted on leaving very annoying sticky notes around the place about the pettiest of matters. So, our star engineer in the act of a petty revenge decides to leave a nice little picture for them to stir things up. This isn't the first time we've seen roomies come to blows over something like toilet paper in the place. We also have that recent story of a roommate who wouldn't chip in for toilet paper, so the toilet paper was hidden from them

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Font - melbournemeanderer · 7h You could've taken this so much further, but your restraint would've pissed her off more no doubt. I'm just trying to imagine the look on her face seeing the picture haha G Reply 1 809 •..

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