Monday, February 1, 2021

Classic Sayings That Are Kind Of Wrong


Maybe we need to modernize our list of idioms, because a lot of them seem to be wishful thinking. Between the many contradictory sayings, the ones that can't stand to scrutiny, and the ones that are flat-out wrong, it seems like we're ready for an update. Some popular sayings are just kind of BS. And for others, the full versions of those classic sayings totally change their meaning.

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Tumblr Thread: Linguini Was The Unbreakable Champion Of "Ratatouille"


Just in case you haven't seen the iconic, cinematic masterpiece that is "Ratatouille", it's a lovely animated film that follows the adventures of a struggling 20-something named Linguini. The dude falls on hard times after his mother passes away, and then proceeds to be thrown headlong into the challenging pits of a competitive Parisian restaurant. To make matters even more wild for the poor kid, he ends up befriending a rat who knows how to cook like nobody's ever seen. It's really a miracle Linguini didn't have a full on mental collapse with all that going on. This Tumblr thread honors his struggles that were kind of skimmed over in the film. 

Check out some more totally random, strange, and funny Tumblr gems over here

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Font - sunshine-zenith Follow Okay but like. Ratatouille from Linguini's perspective tho You're some broke, awkward guy in his twenties who can't keep a job down to the point that you Know that the letter your recently dead mom wrote to her also dead famous friend's coworker contains Something about giving you employment. So you march yourself down to this fancy restaurant, submit yourself to verbal whiplash, fork over what might've been the last thing your mother ever wrote, and become the lowl

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Font - Fine, right? I mean, shitty day/week/month/ whatever, but you aren't picky. You have a job, so you can pay rent. Except you accidentally spill like half a pot of soup and you panic. You literally got this job like fifteen minutes ago and you already fucked up. Rent is breathing down your neck so you do the Broke Twenty Something thing where you try to use water to hide the difference, throw in some spices because you have no idea how cooking works, and hope that no one notices despite the

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Font - (You're broke, you're mom is dead, and you cook worse than a rat. Imagine that.) And somehow the soup gets served to a food critic that's apparently well respected and now you have no idea if you're gonna be flayed alive by your new boss or given a job you are in no way qualified for. Rent is still a thing. Then you realize the rat understands human language and knows enough body language to communicate. Then you realize you're own body is fucking weird because this completely random rat

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Font - And you have to go along with it because you need money to eat and not be homeless and you need a job to get money. It hasn't even been a week. At least your coworkers are nice enough. You get a crush on one of them and get a crash course on cooking and working in a kitchen and sexism and oh my god like at least three of your coworkers are technically criminals aren't they?? Also your boss gets you drunk and asks you a bunch of weird questions about pets. You only wanted a job

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Font - (The rat makes you kiss the coworker you kinda have a crush on that's been teaching you everything. What the fuck. You probably have to explain consent to a rat now. Luckily the coworker likes you back and is okay with the kiss, but still. What the fuck) (Also the rat now seems to have a rivalry with your new girlfriend. What the hell, rat buddy? You're literally the reason these two are together, and also the girlfriend has been working in the food industry longer than the rat has been a

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Font - Suddenly, out of nowhere, the rat walks up to you with some documents about how your dead mom's dead famous friend is your dad. Also your boss did DNA tests on you behind your back (invasive much??). Now you own an entire restaurant because of a deadline in you're secret dead dad's will that was like two days away from being moot. (I dunno about y'all, but l'd need to sit down for like seventy years at this point because there's like fifty different layers of fucked up here. You grew up w

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Font - you. You own a restaurant and you can't even cook. Your new pet rat somehow got this information before you and can apparently read. Your father was a famous chief, your name is literally a pasta, and you can't even cook. It's only been a couple months, what the hell) Now you're famous and the food critic they lowkey caused your secret dad's death is after you because he has a weird vendetta going on, and also your rat (who's like your best friend at this point let's be real) is acting we

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Font - Next thing you know, your rat is sneaking other rats into the kitchen, you have to explain that a rat can cook better than you, and everyone quits in the middle of the day (what the heck, one of them probably killed a guy and another was in the circus. The rat thing is weird but like. You can roll with the punches. Why can't they??) So while you're like having a panic attack because of this, your rat unionized his rat friends and now the kitchen is being run by rats. What can you do? You

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Font - (Also, side note, Linguini totally missed out on his true calling as a professional roller skater or something. Dude's graceless even when he isn't being piloted by a rat, but on a set of roller skates he's friggin amazing) Luckily, your super smart (maybe ex?) girlfriend comes back (even if the whole rat thing is still throwing her off, but hey. It's prolly nice to have Somebody acknowledge the weirdness of this entire thing without jumping ship). Apparently the food your rat cooks is so

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Font - You decide to make this Super Important Super Harsh food critic wait hours, then you and your (probably) girlfriend have to show off how you're weirdly drift compatible with a rat. The food critic just like. Thanks you for the meal and leaves. What do you do? Also at some point during the night the rats kidnapped your weirdly invasive ex-boss and a health inspector. So yeah, you should probably deal with that.

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Font - Then the food critic that lowkey lead to your dad's death writes this inspirational piece that critizes critics, tanking his own career in the process, only for the health inspector to shut down your dad's restaurant. But okay, the now ex-food critic now takes the money he made shattering the dreams of other chiefs and invests in your rat best friend's dreams, and now he's kinda your friend and you work at the rat's restaurant with your amazing girlfriend. All this happened in only a few

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Font - awkwardnoodleman Follow I need like a day to process this post holy shit. I have thoughts but I need to sit down humanbeingiguess Follow Not to mention right before Linguini kisses Colette, she was mad at him because he wasn't talking. He wasn't talking because he was asleep. Remy was making him stand up and he was still asleep so Colette started yelling at him because she thought he was ignoring her.

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Font - He literally woke up to her yelling at him for no apparent reason and still managed to become her boyfriend in 5 minutes. Yeah, the rat helped, but still. Must’ve been fucking shocking. Props to him for just rollin' with it the entire movie 1,978 notes

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People Who Desperately Didn't Get The Joke


Sure the internet has the potential to connect us with savvy, like-minded individuals, but it also gives us more deaf ears for jokes to fall on. Maybe it's poor reading comprehension or maybe it's not wanting to get the joke in the first place. It's amusing, but also kind of sad to see so many people aggressively not getting the joke.

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Product - 1d Before acting in Episode IV - A New Hope, Carrie Fisher had never seen a single Star Wars movie. 622 LI 2.986 23,9K Em resposta a You realize there were no Star Wars movies before Episode IV at that time

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Organism - Tired Of Boiling Water Every Time You Make Pasta? Boil A Few Gallons At The Beginning Of The Week And Freeze It For Later. 278 37 Comments • 57 Shares Like לן Comment Share Omg stupid Like Reply

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Nose - Dec S1, 2020 · O 2020 Part 2: Remastered edition. Dec 31, 2020 11:59 Dec 31, 2020 11:60 D 11K 320 Comments 1.8K Shares O Like Comment A Share no its January 1, 2021e 1300 1 January Like Reply 67 OD

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Map - Want to know just how big Texas really is? to This is fake 16h 2 likes Reply

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Sleeve - 77% OF PEOPLE BEING VERY BAD GS FLY F MATH Us in the other 33% I guess that's 110% 10h Gefällt 17 Mal Antworten ..... What 33% 10h Gefällt 6 Mal Antworten 2 Antworten ansehen Laciarme I Do u mean 23% 8h Gefällt 1 Mal Antworten 5 Antworten ansehen 23%*** 9h Gefällt 3 Mal Antworten 3 Antworten ansehen 77+33= 110 5h Gefällt 1 Mal Antworten 2 Antworten en 23%* made with mematic

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Font - as a tiny filled with KEN JRES. TM Why did they put so much detail in his head then just give him a stick figure body? Hahahha shut up |Im pretty sure that's his tie !? 27m 2 likes Reply

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Font - .9h The Hornets owner is 6'6"??? Mfer should be in the nba charlotte hornets owner height in ft Images News Videos Maps Shopping All Michael Jordan / Height 346 277,017 69.1K ... OISON Replying to @ he was in the nba... 11:39 · 1/27/21· Twitter for iPhone

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Output device - Today at 12:02 PM this is so wholesome Paco Gutierrez, age 9, always wanted a Nintendo console. However, due to being extremely poor living in Venezuela, it was just a distant dream. Using his creativity and with the help from his uncle, he made a cardboard Super Mario game, posted it on YouTube and the video went viral. Thanks to the video, Nintendo's CEO Doug Bowser personally traveled to Venezuela, to give Paco a Cease and Desist order and sue his family for 200 million dollar

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Hair - When you're high AF and realize this statue of Mona Lisa looks just like Keith Urban 726 150 comments O Like Comment Send That's not even Keith urban ?! @RichardNoggin.V2 @RichardNoggin.V3

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Dog - scientists trying to Invent something that can handle high tempreatures so they can land on sun me who knows that we can land on it in the night you can't land on sun even at night 1 нед. 10 свиђања Одговорите

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Mountain - STOP VEGANS BEFORE ITS TOO LATE 1h How is this vegans fault?? They don't eat mf trees dumbass. Reply ↑ -14 +

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Rectangle - Deaf friend Yo you still down for lunch at 1? Dude i'm deaf remember Ohh shit dG手山手d 手d Yup! see you then realg4life32a He said he's deaf NOT IN TEXTINGG U DONT NEED HAND SINGS 2020-12-19

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Totopo - Air was discovered in 1774 Chip bags in 1773: MOR VORS Oritos i But chips were invented in 1853 dude 3h Reply

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Food - I'm on a diet, l used to eat 6 slices of pizza, now I eat 3 helth 576 29 comments 178 shares O Like Comment Share This isn't going to work because you are still eating the same amount of pizza View 20 previous replies... Ai you're wrong! Clear math - less slices = less pizza!

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Clothing - Harry Potter survived Voldemort 2 times and all three Unforgivable Curses cast on him and still wears a mask. If he does it, you should too. O Like Comment A Share 17.7k 4,602 shares Most relevant v JUST >ONE MORE CUAPTER Well, I mean Harry Potter is not Daniel Radcliffe. I love Harry Potter, both books and the movies but I know that the actor is not the character. This meme is a little ridiculous to me. Write a comment... GIF

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Font - Jurassic Park Updates JURASSIC PARK @JurassicPark2go "Dinosaur" comes from the Greek word "dinosaur" meaning "dinosaur" 6:02 · 15 Jul 20 · Twitter for iPhone 3,931 Retweets 206 Quote Tweets 27.1K Likes The Greeks probably didn't even know what dinosaurs were 1 O 13 00

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Font - Phlegm Clandango @Cain_Unable My 4yo just said "Daddy, why do people make up things that their children have said for social media? Isn't it just inherently dishonest & indicative of an inability to construct a compelling narrative themselves?" Fuck you @cain_unable you're kid did NOT say that. 6h Reply And the fake award goes to ... 6h 1 like Reply There's no way your kid said that. Why u always lying 5h Reply There's nooo00 way his 4yo said that 6h 2 likes Reply lol i think he, who post

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Light - wtf is Igtbq+?? y'all have gay premium?? Q 3,472 2786.2K 831K I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer. 9:40 AM · 1/20/21 · Twitter for Android 71 Retweets 21 Quote Tweets 1,891 Likes You got to be fucking kidding right? It stands for. LGBT or GLBT, is an initialism that stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender, queer. You obviously have a smartphone freaking look it up I just did. O 10 3 Tweet your reply

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Product - The Onion O @TheOnion 5h New NCAA Rule Forces Athletes To Remove All Facial Features To Prevent Them From Profiting Off Likeness trib.al/vzxoR1| 29 17 586 ♡ 4,544 yuumi @KKitt3n Replying to @TheOnion this is photoshop. no way this is real 8:29 PM 19 Dec 19 · Twitter Web App

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Font - CC Listen to the end e 0:01 / 0:10 LJ Replies ep•3 weeks ago (edited) Glad they told me to listen til the end. I wouldn't normally give such a long video the time of day, but the payoff was well worth the wait. O 2.9K T 目 21 Add a public reply... DapperDuff · 3 weeks ago It was 10 seconds. O 15 imgflip.com ... ...

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Light - r/funny u/dnissimi • 3h i.redd.it Top Awarded 1 2, 25 10 S 9 16 This truck has a jellyfish launcher ComfortableGas1851 8m Its the rear light you ignorant moron Blows my mind how many inbred morons are in this world. Anyone who thumbs up this included LOLOLOL. Don't bother replying. Don't waste my time on snowflakes! Reply 1 -1 made with mematic

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Motor vehicle - Did you know: Some of the scenes from the Star Wars movies are actually filmed on Earth. Oh what you people are stupid enough to think the space battles were filmed in space? 18h Like Reply CARIN

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Font - I just saw some idiot at the gym put a water bottle in the pringles holder on the treadmill Q 80 27,222 ♡ 50.2K I NEED "MORE SPACE Replying tol That's a water bottle holder

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Font - So sad watching people eat alone LEESG Inch bruh he is not alone they're just wearing camoflage. 5h 90 likes Reply

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Food - r/funny Posted by u/ChrisTweten • 6h • i.imgur O 6 9 5 Awards New Airpods leeked 1h *leaked Reply 1 -5 39.2k 413 Share

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