Tuesday, February 2, 2021

Funny and Sweet Random Tumblr Gems


The internet is an amazing place where great and dumb minds alike congregate to discuss the details of cotton candy etymology, legendary jestering, and astronaut corpse disposal. It all ends up in these random and funny tumblr gems. So takes some time to run those eye fingers through a pile of shiny tumblr gems.

1.

Font - S wolfypuppypiles huffylemon im jocelyn @guldeuxchats Follow birds do it, bees do it, even educated fleas do it, lets do it, lets go hurtling straight into a sliding glass door and die 3:55 PM - 21 Oct 2017 9,108 Retweets 27,373 Likes copperbadge I laughed suddenly and loudly in my cubicle at work. Source: huffylemon 62,262 notes ID

2.

Nose - popokko the best way to draw a frog. is to give it as few frog qualities as possible. just enough that it barely registers as a frog popokko like this

3.

Product - the-rain-monster At any given moment there is a shark behind you. It might be a thousand miles away, but there is a shark behind you. friedcherryblossomprincess And that shark is totally behind you. It is supporting you in whatever you do and wants you to succeed.

4.

Hair - Fifth asian I got bored and bought a piece of poop name "Shelly" frizzazz I like shellys glasses asian Stop roasting me it's only Tuesday

5.

Product - Germans have a running gag where they pretend the town of Bielefeld does not exist. Even when Angela Merkel talked about a meeting she had in Bielefeld, she added:.if it exists at all." Bielefeld has even released a statement insisting = their existence, but unknowing- ly published it on April 1. memeguy-com Why should Germans be the only ones having this kind of fun Fellow citizens of the United States I nominate Wyoming abessinier Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you- the Bielefeld

6.

Rectangle - languagebender why divide people by unrational things when you COULD divide them by whether their word for cotton candy is valid or not ? languagebender examples: american english: cotton candy good british english: fairy floss X not valid spanish, german: sugar cotton good french: daddy's beard X NOT VALID berenswick I'm sorry the French call it what

7.

Font - thouartathaumaturgeharry S paradoxymora chaoticdense Late tonight a bunch of staff are playing a game called role call and if you thought fugitive was wild just w a it until i tell you how this goes cause role call is absolutely terrifying We aren't letting the campers play it so that lets us up the scare factor by 147% chaoticdense Ok so the game had to be pushed back a few days so we can figure out scheduling so heres the gist of it. The more people you have for this game, the better. I

8.

Font - bearsister human beings are the funniest, if you gave a person a pile of alphabet magnets and two boxes labeled "even" and "odd" they'd start trying to sort the letters into the boxes immediately bearsister human brain sees arbitrary categories and goes apeshit merhabi-blog Well yeah some letters are sharp and therefore even, you wouldnt call 'O' an even letter now would you a-logical-phallus NO IT'S THE EXACT OPPOSSITE??? AN O IS ROUND SO IT'S LIKE A NICE ROUND EVEN NUMBER??? ODDS ARE SH

9.

Font - REI TIL i tilthat TIL NASA’s plan to dispose of corpses in space is to freeze them in the airlock and then violently shake the body with a robotic arm until it turns to space dust. via reddit.com itsthemooooo0000on #bad astronauts get put in the corpse wiggler 254 notes Gin, what the actual fuck A

10.

Musical instrument - gayarsonist Follow annoying wacky sidekicks who only exist to elevate the hero are OUT. two equally moronic goofs who both think of each other as the sidekick and themselves as the voice of reason when in fact they're a double helping of dumbass are IN. annoamoris Follow #two halves of a whole idiot is my favourite dynamic i-platypus Follow GIF by metamatronic 92,067 notes A

11.

Font - val-ritz Robes are stupid. My sorcerer dresses like Petyr Baelish. val-tashoth To expand: if you are a mage, dress like a noble. Do not dress like a wizard. Pointy con- ical hat and sky-blue robes is medieval sem- aphore for "kill first and with extreme preju- dice." Tailored black silk over cloth-of-gold and studded with rubies says "Harmless, but valuable; ransom if possible or kill last." If you dress like a noble, they're not going to pay attention as you take a turn or two to back aw

12.

Font - cadaverkeys S tapestoast2doors Follow tilthat Follow TIL about Triboulet, a notorious jester who was allowed to choose his own death after having insulted the Queen of France. He chose to die of old age, which make the King laughing so much, he banished him of the realm instead. via reddit.com thyrell Follow shit was just funnier back then huh princeofredfire Follow Objectively better time to be alive amarg-a Follow Triboulet once came to the Monarch with a complaint. Triboulet: "A noble

13.

Font - omgthatdress Half-Mourning Dress 1910-1912 The Victoria & Albert Museum yamino What's a "half-mourning" dress? Mourning in the front, party in the back? iamingrid Half-Mourning was the third stage of mourning for a widow. She would be expected to mourn her husband for at least two years, the stages being Full Mourning, Second Mouming and Half-Mourning. The different stages regulated what they would be wearing, with Full Mourning being all black and with no ornamentation, including the wod

14.

Rectangle - mllelaurel akycha Folgen questions-within-questions Bugs Bunny isn't your conventional trickster god - he doesn't steal or lie; rather he inflicts on us a societal hubris. He traps us in the rules, conventions and expectations we've made. Forcing us to go through the niceties of the barbershop or DMV at the times most inconvenient to us. If we didn't have these rules - if it was twelve thousand years ago and all we had was a snare and a knife, Bugs would be nothing more than a mortal

15.

Font - writing-prompt-s You have proof that the universe is a computer simulation. Instead of telling the world about your discovery, you exploit bugs in the simulation to teleport and clone yourself. elidyce Oh, no, cloning yourself is NEVER a good idea. There are a number of books, movies, comic books etc that explore all the ways THAT can go wrong. Better ideas: - Enable 'healing aura' on yourself and make a fortune as a faith healer adhering to some really random deity. - Edit a lot of wild

16.

Product - procrastinating-polyglot r/Showerthoughts u/NukeNipples 3- 3h The word for "night" in many languages is just a derivation of "n+8" (n+eight = night) Mindblowing English: n+eight (night) Spanish: n+ocho (noche) Portuguese: n+oito (noite) French: n+huit (nuit) German: n+acht (nacht) Italian: n+otto (notte) I don't know how I didn't figure this out but now that I have I don't know what to do with this information polyglotswede This is some woke shit wtf starlightespresso Dablia i've conne

17.

Font - augustales told my parents i miss archaeology and my mom was, very sympathetically, like: "do want to dig holes in the garden?" and i was like. yes. i want to dig holes in the garden. you ruffboijuliaburnsides my wife, after reading this to me aloud: It's your people! ...do you want me to break a clay pot for you to put back together? me, burying my face in my hands: Maybe..? mycroftrh These are both moods, but unfortunately I am primarily a bioarchaeologist. (IE, I specialize in digging

18.

Product - Y whitepeopletwitter Ryan George @theryangeorge Paul McCartney's "Wonderful Christmastime" is about friends practicing witchcraft but then someone walks in and they have to suddenly play it cool Lyrics The moon is right The spirits up We're here tonight And that's enough [somebody walks in] SIMPLY HAVINGA WONDERFUL CHRISTMASTIME SIMPLY HAVING A WONDERFUL CHRISTMASTIME never-forget-viva-la-pluto Follow This is the funniest thing I have ever read dontthankthefae Follow I have to hear thi

19.

Rectangle - A postapocalyptic-cryptic Follow Chaotic academia is 1.) Intense obsessions that last maybe two weeks but consume your soul 2.) Spacing out in class but loving to learn 3.) Swearing and slang while discussing deep academic topics postapocalyptic-cryptic Follow I have been diagnosed with ADHD #text 64,719 notes A

20.

Organism - A newtgender ok but... im just saying... this picture of mercury makes it look like the roundest potato in existence that someone started to peel but got distracted Source: couriersicks 2,72,133 notes A

21.

Clothing - yougottahaveseoul: whoreshiip: Someone spilled their dunkin donuts coffee in the school lobby so this kid got out his dunkin donuts uniform and started directing traffic around it saying things like "Ma'am watch out, this is a DUNKIN DONUTS MATTER" when a security guard walked up to him to ask what he was doing the kid told him to stand back he was just doing his job

22.

Font - otkouhai I JUST NOTICED SOMETHING astrum - star nauta - sailor ASTRONAUT LITERALLY MEANS "STAR SAILOR" HOW CUTE IS THAT clockwork-cturtle Neil Armstrong is Sailor Moon confirmed Source: butterfucks 160,783 notes A

23.

Rectangle - I thought a truck was about to crash into us and I instinctively said "WHOA THERE BUCKAROO" | could have died and those would have been my last words

24.

Organism - eissibee Follow Do you ever think about how supermarkets have no clear indicator of time passing visually? Like if u go into a supermarket in the morning or midnight it would look the same, same harsh white lighting. Time isn't real. Nothing is real. Avocados are half off ti-bae-rius Domesticated casinos 288,627 notes

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