Thursday, February 11, 2021

Dude Consumes 8 Chocolate Fibre Bars, Historical Gas Leak Ensues


Let this dude's retelling of a truly horrendous experience with some aggressive flatulence while on the road serve as a cautionary tale to the rest of us that might find ourselves tempted by some chocolate fibre bars. Basically, if you binge on those bars you can expect nothing short of a crippling gas leak unlike that of which you've ever endured before. We're just glad that this dude's alright when it's all said and done. 

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Font - r/tifu + Join u/Baba_dook_dook_dook · 72d 1 4 17 13 3 3 137 1 F 2 105 121 1 3 156 93 4 TIFU by eating 8 chocolate fiber bars before a long car ride with family and experiencing the most absurd gas leak in history.

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Font - This happened a year ago, but I just remembered this horrific event and the poor victims that never fully recovered. I was set to go on an 10 hour road trip through the interior of British Columbia and with me were 2 of my cousins and my uncle. However, before our 6am start I decided the night before to wolf down these chocolate chip Fiber One granola bars that had something like 75% of your daily fiber intake. These things were crazy good and I ended up eating an entire 8 pack of them in

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Smile - zipper on my jeans to give it more space to expand. My cousin next to me couldn't believe what he was seeing, he said it was like the blueberry scene from Willy Wonka. I couldn't hold the gas in any longer and asked my uncle to pull over, which he did and I struggled to get out of my seat as every move was agony. I waddled to the back of the car and let her rip. A thunderous roar

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Font - Font - escaped me like an around the block on a Sunday Morning. The gas hissed out of me as my stomach grumbled, shuffled and shuttered. I am not exagerrating when I tell you that this fart lasted AT LEAST 15 seconds. Little did I know that I had just broken the seal and I would proceed to experience uncontrollable and obnoxiously powerful farts that lasted 10-15 seconds on average, with only a brief period of relief between said farts. racing his Harley Davidson

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Font - The fact of the matter was that I was now experiencing major flatulence every 2 to 3 minutes, and we couldn't stop the car every few minutes to escape the smell, so we decided to roll all the windows down and allow me to let loose whenever I needed. However, we had no idea that this would become a much longer ordeal than we initially thought. Truth be told, I couldn't stop farting for nearly 7 hours, and each fart just HAD to be more epic than the last. By the time hour 2 rolled around, m

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Font - I took one of the air fresheners and sat on it in the hopes that each fart will be freshened up - instead it just smelt like rotten eggs and pine. My cousins and uncle resorted to using Vicks around their noses to stop the smell. The pain from constantly farting brought me to tears at one point and I realized how ridiculous it must look to see a grown man crying while farting non stop. At hour 4 disaster struck. I stopped farting, but I was still swelling with gas. I knew I was plugged up

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Font - resorted to pushing on my stomach to help things along and suddenly I felt this wave of pressure hit me that made my butt cheeks break into a cold sweat and start to tingle. Suddenly, and without warning, a rock hard turd rocketed out of me like a cannonball and plastered itself to the back of the toilet bowl, and with that this tidal wave of what could only be described as peanut butter oatmeal. I could feel the muscles in my abdomen squeezing my intestines so hard that it actually hurt.

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Font - out, but instead it was my butt that was throwing up. Once everything was pushed out it was topped off by the longest fart in my short, pathetic existence, one that I could never accurately give the length other than say well over 20 seconds, and that I could literally feel and see my stomach shrinking. I destroyed that poor coffee shop bathroom and I frequently wonder what happened to the person who wandered in after me.

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Font - From that point forward the farts were just as frequent and long, but they felt cleaner and less restricted. It began to feel like I was airing my colon out, blowing out all the accumulated dust. My ribs and anus ached horribly, but I was starting to feel euphoria wash over me that I assumed was just the endorphin rush my body was giving as a way to protect my fragile mind from this ridiculous ordeal. By the time hour 7 rolled around my farts had slowly faded away, but the smell permeated

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Font - We eventually arrived without incident, and we refused to speak of this event. Things were never really the same between all of us after that, and I have a feeling none of us will ever touch eggs ever again. They already ate enough of my farts, they don't need a reminder. I should have never eaten that much fiber. I had no idea it was capable of that. TL;DR - I ate too many fiber bars and ended up gassing my family nearly to death over 7 hours in a car. I made the scientific discovery tha

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Rectangle - clem_walnuts•72d 3 2 Awards The image of a man crying while ripping enormous farts has made my day G Reply 4.1k ...

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