Saturday, January 2, 2021

Tumblr User Investigates Maroon 5's Successful Mediocrity


Maroon 5 can feel like bit of a contradiction. It's on every radio station. It gets stuck in your head. It plays in grocery stores. It's rock for your mom. It's certainly not bad, but maybe it's not exactly the greatest. This Tumblr user likens it to a deal with the devil. For more music stuff, here's a tumblr user doing the math to find out Ice Cube's "Good Day" as well as some concerts that didn't live up to the hype.

1.

Text - penicillium-pusher I don't trust Maroon 5 captocie why penicillium-pusher Well first of all there's 7 band members, not 5. That's not why I don't trust them, I just think it's weird.

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Text - Now getting to the point, do you know how many top 100 hits Maroon 5 has had? A lot. They're even on billboards top 100 artists of all time (ALL TIME). And it's understandable, because pretty much every song they put out is fucking awesome. Sugar, Don't Wanna Know, Moves Like Jagger, Payphone, This Love, She Will Be Loved, Cold, Animals, Maps, Misery, Harder to Breathe, Never Gonna Leave This Bed... to name a FEW. These shitheads have been popping out jams since I was a little kid. Well o

3.

Text - But here's the thing. They're never the top selling artists. On the top 100 list, they're only in the 40s. They very rarely have a number 1 hit. They're considered good, I suppose.. but not great. Not the best. How many people have you heard say Maroon 5 is their favorite band? For me it's zero. For many of you, it's zero. If you're thinking to yourself "what? No I love them, they're my fave!" Are you sure? Are you really sure? They're your absolute complete FAVORITE band ever??? I doubt

4.

Text - But they SHOULD be everyone favorites. Look at all of those songs. They've got so many top hits. Everyone loves their music. Everyone sings along and knows the songs. They should be my favorite band, I think I like more of their songs than of my actual favorite artist. But they are not my favorite. They are no ones favorite. I think they made a deal with someone. Satan? God? A dude down an alleyway? Who knows. But I believe they made a deal to ensure everyone would love their music. And w

5.

Text - But the twist is that they'll never truly be recognized as one of the best. Sure, their songs will play on the radio and everyone will sing along. They'll have sold out concerts. Plenty of fans. But not enough. They'll be just good. Never great. Never the best. Even if they should be our favorite, they never will be. They'll never sell enough albums or have their songs reach as high on the billboards as they should. Everyone loves their music, per the agreement. But no one loves them. I h

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