Monday, January 25, 2021

Tumblr Thread: Girl's Boyfriend Cheats On Her, Lads Assemble, Chaotic Good Ensues


This is definitely one of those wild Tumblr tales that we really hope is real. We have a rotten old cheater who pretty much makes his girlfriend's life completely miserable. Fortunately, her friends were ready to assemble like some real life Avengers, and ultimately save the day. Check out some more gold from Tumblr with this thread where Tumblr goes full on mythological scientist mode. 

1.

Terrestrial plant - throwtime Follow I'm about to have a fun afternoon. So my trainer's bf cheated on her. She broke up with him. He's holding her stuff hostage until she agrees to talk with him. Which she refuses. She trains; for free mind you; three college linebackers, a college wrestler, two martial artists, a body builder, and... wait for it.... a Navy seal. We're gonna go get her shit for her. This should make for an interesting story.

2.

Font - throwtime Follow So everyone who commented on this being like the avengers, you are absolutely right. That's what all of us had in our heads as we were rolling over to dude's house. But I'm very proud to say, this ended without violence. Arrival:

3.

Font - So the super friends all jumped into one of the linebacker's explorer and headed over to dude's house. Ok the squad: you all know me, but the other martial artist is a little wirey hapkido guy, the linebackers are all giants (an estimated combined weight of l'd say 750-800lbs), the wrestler looks like an escaped gorilla, then the navy seal looks like your average guy but something about him is unsettling. Really unsettling. Unfortunately, the body builder had to work. Anyway, we send the

4.

Font - in their face. Then the giant linebackers head over and they ring the door bell again. Lo and behold, he was much more polite, but still denied access. Finally, me and the seal join the fray. I casually make my way towards the front of the group, but the seal decides to CLIMB THE BANISTER. We all just turned and started at him completely shocked when dude answers the door. He looks at this weird mismatched group of relatively threatening individuals and one guy perched on his banister lik

5.

Terrestrial plant - So we're all walking through the house gathering what we think are her things and putting them into two boxes. Mind you. We are completely guessing. We didn't even tell her we were coming, therefore we had no list of items.The only one really being productive was Hapkido, who was legitimately looking for stuff. The linebackers were just randomly picking up furniture, turning it over, and putting it back down. Just showing off how strong they were. In case the numbers game was

6.

Font - to. The seal was just shadowing dude in his own house. Walking behind him, not saying much, just being creepy. Then there's me. Who was causing general mischief.... He said to take what was looking for, that's what I was looking for. Ahaha and the wrestler made a fricken sandwich. Because “you guys look like you have it under control, and I'm a sucker for egg salad." We were in and out in 15 minutes. Delivery:

7.

Terrestrial plant - So the autobots rolled out and headed towards homegirl's spot. She was conveniently outside when we rolled up. We got out and she was like, how do you all even know each other. The truth is, we don't. She sent us all an email once and didn't blind copy us all. She vented to all of us about dude holding onto her stuff and we started emailing and that was that. We told her that we went to see her ex. “OMG what did you say to him?" Nothing. We're not messenger boys. We're delive

8.

Font - all that shit." So I explained that I took all the batteries out of his remote controls, his deodorant, the light bulb out of his master closet, every pair of dress socks that I could find, the laces out of his running shoes, and all the toilet paper in the house. The guys just looked at me and kind of nodded like they were impressed. She then unexpectedly started CRYING and thanked us. So you have this group of meat heads all standing awkwardly with this weeping trainer. It was quiet for

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