Friday, January 29, 2021

The Dumbest Questions From Customers


Someone on AskReddit asked for people to share the dumbest questions they've ever heard from customers. The responses really end up contributing a solid argument to the case that so many of us, turn our brains off when we walk into establishments. Just cause customer service exists, doesn't mean we have to stop using our brains. 

1.

Text - masu94 • 4h Are you really going to give me a plastic fork? One of the prongs could break off, stab me in the throat, and l'II DIE! -Worked at Arby's

2.

Text - FalstaffsMind • 4h I must look like some kind of DIY authority, because people ask me questions at Home Depot fairly often, and I don't work there, nor do I have any orange on.

3.

Text - TwistMe Twice • 3h No lie, I volunteer at Stonehenge and was asked when in the Bible it was created. That was more perplexing than the usual UFO questions.

4.

Text - Youpunyhumans • 4h Had a homeless woman try to buy vodka with old recipts and random business cards and such. I had to explain that the dollar amount on an old recipt is not currency and cannot be used to pay for something.

5.

Text - Iggy363 • 5h Standing next to a pallet of eggs, with boxes of eggs in my hand and freshly unloaded ones on the shelf in front me. "Do you sell eggs?"

6.

Text - meta_uprising • 4h Often I say let me Google that then I put them on hold a minute just to let it sink in

7.

Text - StupidSexxxyFlanders • 2h I used to work in a pet store. One night a woman came in and said she had ordered a puppy off the internet and he would be arriving in the next few days. She had never owned a pet and asked several dumb questions, but the one that l'll always remember is "Do puppies need water?"

8.

Text - pm_me_your_taintt • 3h Lady walks into the empty restaurant, looks around, asks "is this a furniture store?"

9.

Text - PubScrubRedemption • 4h I sell precast concrete structures (manholes, septic tanks, etc.) and some times we get calls from folks all over the US looking for stuff while we only deliver in New England; anywhere else and shipping is your problem. Normally when I explain this to those people they accept and look elsewhere. One time this person wanted me to quote a single catch basin for a job in California. Telling them we're in New England didn't even phase them and they were persistent unt

10.

Text - S3simulation • 4h "I'd like the sirloin, medium rare with no pink." Literally my first week on the floor waiting tables. Also "you charge for drinks from the bar? Why didn't you tell us?" My favorite is when a guy asked what we charge per 2oz shot compared to the cost of the bottle and then said we were ripping him off. I really wanted to condescendingly explain capitalism to him but I didn't have time

11.

Text - herpty_derpty•3h "What time do you close today?" "We're open 24/7." "Oh great! And what time do you close tomorrow?"

12.

Text - the-magnificunt • 3h I work in IT and one day received a ticket from a customer very angry that a link on our website was broken. When I asked what the link was to or where it was trying to go (because our site has thousands of pages), they were incensed that I dared to ask them questions and wouldn't just fix it immediately. Sure, dude, l'll get right on checking the hundreds of thousands of links on our site and hope I find the one you clicked on in the next 3 minutes because you refuse

13.

Text - purpleinme • 4h I worked at a hat store and a guy asked if he could shrink his hat by microwaving it. I said no. He came back two days later to return his hat after microwaving it. Problem was there was a hole in the front of it because Brewers hats are made with metallic threading. TL;DR Motherfucker microwaved his Brewers hat and blew a hole in it.

14.

Text - stoic_minotaur • 3h Customer: "Why is it so dark outside all of a sudden?!?" Me: "The sun went down, mam"

15.

Text - BrokeWhiteGuy • 3h One of my very first jobs was a stocking associate for Petsmart. Had a customer one time ask me if we have any blue Buffalo brand dog food that has no “pro van" in it, As she doesn't want to change up her dogs diet because it hurts his stomach. I had absolutely no idea what she was talking about so I offered to help her find the proper food, when we get to the aisle she points out blue Buffalo and says “it seems like they change the recipe because they all have Provan i

16.

Text - Jenkem_of_the_Masses • 2h I was working at a convenience store/gas station in high school. I guy walks in on a Sunday morning and asks if we sell newspapers. Me: "We have a box out front. You walked right past it." Customer: "Are there any in it?" Me: "I don't know, you'll have to check." Customer: looks at the box "I can't tell, there's one in the way." Me: "Then there is at least one in there."

17.

Text - StylishSuidae • 4h It wasn't a question, but I once had a customer threaten that she'd "never shop here again!"... two weeks before the store closed for good. There were signs all over the store and this was pretty big news in the city so there was no way she didn't know how empty her threat was.

18.

Text - justanotherpolyglott • 3h A woman came to the check out and handed me a bag of mozzarella. She asked me what the ingredients were and if there were any chemicals in it. I turned the bag around and started to read the ingredients out to her. She grabbed the bag out of my hand, angrily said "I could have done that myself " and stormed off.

19.

Text - OrderOfZune• 3h Customer: "What's my Facebook password?"

20.

Text - SlytherinGirl125 • 2h I used to work in a phone shop. Had someone come in asking why their phone wasn't working properly. It was visibly scorched and melty. I asked why it looked that way. They said, it came up with an error message saying it had been too cold (not an error message I had heard of before, but I know phones can bring up errors for being too hot, so who knows) and so they had put it under the grill to heat it up. The grill. Their first point of call was to cook it. I said, t

21.

Text - WoolWorthWallaby • 3h I worked at staples and I had a customer ask if the printer toner was 'ethically sourced'. This lady really thought laser printer toner was squeezed out of squids or some shit

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