Friday, January 1, 2021

Karen Mistakes Nametagged Dude for Employee, He Rolls With It


The mighty hubris of another horrible customer comes crashing down. For whatever reason, some customers really hold onto that "customer is always right" approach even when they're told that that they're not actually talking to an employee. Irate customers mistake random people for employees all the time, and the results are wonderful.

1.

Text - r/IDontWorkHerelLady - Posted 4 OC3 S8 Awards f. by u/ComedianXMI 24 days ago Karen vs Retail Veteran XXXXL Someone in my friend group keyed me in on this lovely sub after they had a good laugh at some of my stories. Over the years I've grown to loathe people who treat retail employees like garbage, and I go out of my way to make a fool of them. So I'll share one story now! I worked for years in retail before switching careers. I went from dealing with people who asked for items based ent

2.

Text - For a while I worked as a trainer for a very popular cellphone company. I would regularly visit Cellular carriers and do events for customers and train employees on relevant new features and items. So I was almost always dressed very well. The most dressed down I ever got was a polo, dress pants and dress shoes because I wanted to give a good and professional impression. However my style of dress came with the greatest Karen- bait known to man: A Silver Nametag. Beyond the hundreds of tim

3.

Text - Beyond the hundreds of times I was mistaken for an employee while at the stores, this story takes place when I went grocery shopping after work one evening. That should be enough background, so on with the actual story! I had finished up later than usual and was browsing the groceries for the next couple days at a semi- supermarket who's logo is a bullseye. I had a cart with several frozen items my wife loves, some snacks for my son, some dog food for my dog and various other small things

4.

Text - A second or two go by and my spider-sense begins to tingle. And then, dear reader, I hear the dreaded sound that in the retail wilds is both terrifying and amusing (depending on how far away you're standing). "Ex-CUSE me?!" Ah. Yes. The mating call of the wild Karen. I turn around to see a specimen of at least forty years trying desperately to be mistaken for her own daughter in, what I can only assume, was a pair of yoga pants, furry boots, a shirt that was strategically unbuttoned and a

5.

Text - My desperate plea for clemency in the form of her own ability to notice a mistake came immediately as I pushed my cart further away and swept my arm where I was standing, "Sorry. Didn't know I was blocking you." But, alas, this story would not have made it here if that was all she needed. No, Karen did not want to graze the spice rack. She had used her cosmic powers on me without my realizing, you see. Because now I was no longer shopping for dinner. I had been granted employment. And Kar

6.

Text - I am a smartass by nature (you can tell) and my wife often jokes that I'm paid well to tell people where they can stick it and make them happy to hear it. But these skills are lost on the Wild Karen. So is the fact that the store uniform is khakis and a red shirt. While I am in a blue and white dress shirt, dress pants, and wearing a company logo jacket that doesn't remotely look like am employee's. I decide to assume she's perhaps dazzled in bright lights without her solar panel glasses

7.

Text - My eyebrow rises and in my head I hear the ringside bell. Ok, Karen. Game on. So in my best I-really-dont-hope-you're-run-over-by-a- stray-water-buffalo voice and smile I say, "What was it you needed help finding, ma'am?" I see the flinch. I said ma'am and she didn't like it. Dont show weakness now, we've only started. But in the same condescending tone she wails, "I need (item). Now show me to it." I nod and pushed my buggy along as I head to the rear of the store. She doesn't look pleas

8.

Text - I walk several aisles. After a dozen she starts to huff and puff and I can hear the faintest grumbling about why it was "so hidden away" and "why did she have to walk so far" ect. Not directed at me, but I'm not deaf so I can hear her childish tantrums just fine. Thank God she cant see the evil smile on my face. Passing the last row of groceries, I hang a left. Passing seasonal, candies, luggage, travel ect. She's behind me in such a blurry huff of muttering anger, I dont know if shes que

9.

Text - As we reach the book section I wheel the cart right over and start down an aisle. Now the Karen is really angry, "Where the (deleted) are you going?! I'm looking for (item)! If you're too stupid to find it, then maybe I should be talking to your manager!" This is drawing a crowd from the nearby electronics section. My plan is working out better than I'd hoped. I stop in front of the small children's section and grab a thin copy of what's basically toddler's first spelling book. A few lett

10.

Text - Walking back to the red-faced Karen, I offer the book. I dont say anything, I just extend my arm, showing her the cover. Like most people would she takes the offered book, looks at it, looks at me and basically growls, "What the (deleted) is this?! Are you (deleted) stupid?! Where is your manager? You're absolutely awful!" Her wailing has attracted at least two employees who seem to recognize the whiny wails of the retail-native Karen. One is on a small radio, calling who I assume is the

11.

Text - Stunned. Silence. The poor hamster that was responsible for the complex operation of powering the Karen was working overtime. So when the employee finally makes it to us they're unaware of what I said, only that I was smiling in a customer service kind of way. Karen was still all mouth agape at what I said when they tried a polite greeting, "Hello. Is there something I can help with tonight?" Karen. Was. LIVID. She proceeded to throw the book at me (literally and figuratively) and start s

12.

Text - She hasn't slowed down, is cussing like a rabid honey badger high on PCP, and somewhere in that string of expletives were words that vaguely made a caveman type sense. Short phrases mostly. The employee is trying desperately to put out the fire that is Karen, her face is so red I swear smoke is coming from that horrible dye job, and the distant employee on the walkie is obviously begging for a manager or a priest. I step back, away from any flailing pieces, and just wait politely. Taking

13.

Text - When the manager arrives (they must have been fresh out of priests) the woman is pulled to the side and he speaks to her, trying to calm her down. The employee standing near me looks at me and, with a bewildered look, asks "What happened?" Not wanting to spoil the punchline I just kind of make a face and softly said, "Didn't the haircut clue you in?" Big mistake. The employee chirps with laughter he quickly chokes off. I don't think he expected me to know the dorsal plumage of the Wild Ka

14.

Text - After another few minutes the manager gets her to step aside and comes over to talk to me. He begins asking all sorts of questions she obviously decided to embellish. "Why did you call her (deleted I actually didn't say)?" "Did you throw a book at her?" "Were you following her?" Things like that. Things that could be claimed with only the losest concept of reality. So, in a pleasant voice I explained how I was shopping and she demanded I show her where an item was and refused to accept I

15.

Text - So I smile and nod as I see him reason out that I was basically kidnapped to find something for this woman and all the tumblers in his mind seemed to fall into place. He must have seen this type of thing often enough to know what happened, or close enough. But I nod and say, "Since she can't read, and might be color blind, I got her a book on the alphabet instead. I figure if she knew how to read it would fix all her problems. She threw the book at me, cussed like a sailor, and wants you

16.

Text - The manager, a seasoned veteran of the retail wars it seems, manages to make his initial chuckle sound like a disapproving grumble at the retreating employee. But the way his face scrunched up, I know full well he found it at least reasonably funny. Karen is mad that the employee is laughing, having at least the sense to know she's the butt of the joke. Even if she didn't hear said joke. So score one for her situational awareness. So she starts over to us while the manager's poor soul beg

17.

Text - A vein in her forehead begins to leap from the skin and do a little dance as she winds herself up for another tirade, "He was the one harassing me!" She almost reaches around him. Jabbing her 2.99 press ons at me like the predatory talons she wishes they were. The manager, not happy with basically having her almost trying to wrap herself around him to get to me, holds up his hands and in a very firm voice says, "Ma'am, you need to calm down. If you can't, then I'll have to ask you to leav

18.

Text - And that's when I knew what was coming. She wasn't going to be asked to leave. Oh no. At this point she was about to become a captive audience. The manager called for someone in the clothing department and over walked two women who, God bless them, managed to wrangle the woman and begin escorting her to the front. The employee who'd walked away laughing came over and escorted me back to grocery and told me that she was going to be detained and barred from the store. He was in a good mood,

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