Friday, January 8, 2021

Daughter Neglects Teeth, Mom Won't Pay For Dental Care


Sounds like the daughter really set herself up for this unfortunate predicament. It seems like in all those advice threads that center on what people would tell their younger selves after having gained the hard earned wisdom, is to take care of your teeth. Unfortunately, this girl had her own kind of wakeup call. Hopefully she'll be able to get some dental credit, and get those teeth taken care of when it's all said and done. 

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Text - AITA for refusing to pay for my daughter's dental procedures? Not the A-hole My daughter is 24 years old. For her entire life, she has neglected her teeth. Her dental hygiene is nonexistent, she would refuse to brush or floss her teeth at all, wouldn't even use mouthwash. My first thought was that she may be suffering from depression or some sort of mental health issue, so I immediately took her to professionals. However, even after years of doctors, therapists, medication, and specialist

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Text - I spent years crying, begging, bargaining, and screaming at her in an attempt to get her to take it seriously. She never did, but under my care she'd at least brush her teeth occasionally (2-3x a week). I kept trying up until she reached adulthood and moved out. At that point there was nothing more I could do for her and I assume she completely stopped caring for her teeth at that point. Recently, she went to the dentist because of severe pain after putting it off for years. They discover

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Text - She called me crying about how ugly she felt, and she begged me to pay for her to get crowns/veneers. I refused for several reasons. One, it would be incredibly expensive, we're talking upwards of 10k. Two, she got herself into this mess by not taking care of her teeth, despite me warning her throughout her entire life and doing all I could to help her. Three, she has yet to show she can maintain proper dental hygiene and without proper maintenance she will likely ruin the crowns/veneers

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Yellow - _A_Brit_Abroad_ • 1d • Partassipant [4] 1 Award NTA You tried to get her to look after her teeth. What did she think was going to happen? She is an adult - Dont help her. She dug herself this hole and she needs to get herself out. Reply 6.0k ...

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Text - teresajs • 1d · Judge, Jury, and Excretioner [353] NTA If she hasn't started taking proper care of the teeth she has, paying for crowns or veneers would only delay the inevitable. The tooth matter below the crown or veneer would rot away. Reply 961 ...

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Text - grngecko • 1d · Asshole Enthusiast [6] NTA - she can apply for dental credit to pay for it Q Reply 1 1.2k 3 ...

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Text - Dszquphsbnt · 1d · Commander in Cheeks [249] NTA. She will care for her new teeth more if she has to find a way to pay for them herself. Reply 218 ...

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Text - mooseplainer • 1d • Certified Proctologist [25] NTA since you did try for what, 24 years or so? But only slight. There are other neurotypes besides depression that can make oral hygiene quite difficult either due to sensory or executive issues. For example, l'm autistic and good oral hygiene has always been a challenge for me, though fortunately the most I've ever needed was a deep clean, nothing as extreme as what you described. Autism is also frequently under diagnosed in women as women

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Text - that_jedi_girl • 1d • Asshole Enthusiast [7] NTA Shes old enough to take care of herself, and she seems to feel awfully entitled to your money. You did what you could, and now she's experiencing natural consequences. It would be kind and loving to pay for it...but that doesn't work when she vilifies you for not. O Reply 39 3

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Text - fruitandboot · 1d · Asshole Enthusiast [6] NTA, as long as she is mentally o.k. is there anything else going on that could be a cry for help? Otherwise she is an adult and needs to start figuring this out on her own. I started paying all my own bills before 24. 35 3 O Q Reply ...

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Text - Independent-Idea1278 · 1d NTA. As someone who didn't pickup good dental hygiene till later in life I know how expensive it can be. Also, if she hasn't changed her habits the tooth underneath is just going to decay and break eventually. Even if she got dentures, the cheapest option, she would still need to take care of her mouth. Q Reply 1 27 B ...

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Text - Tamika_Olivia · 1d · Pooperintendant [62] NTA But also a little bit of Y T A for all the nightmares l'm going to have from this post. Reply 1 61 ...

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Text - strega42 · 1d NTA... but as someone who lost all their teeth due to lack of dentistry access & genetics, she needs to have the ruined teeth extracted for purely medical reasons. Leave it on her to deal with getting dentures. I promise she will live without teeth. I don't even bother with dentures most of the time and I manage just fine. Not having the ruined teeth extracted can lead to serious infections, cardiac problems, etc., though. I'd strongly recommend helping her with THAT part. Q

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Text - SurgRN4theWin • 1d · Asshole Aficionado [10] NTA. This is called 'making your bed' and then 'lying in it'. This is a lesson adults have to learn. You warned her this day would come, and now here it is. I see nothing wrong with your stance. She wilIl have to work out how to take care of her own dental expenses -- which is also something adults have to learn. Reply 15 3 +

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Text - SarahGTP · 1d · Partassipant [1] NTA. I've taken care of my teeth religiously, my whole life, and still ended up with dental problems. At least she has a reason. She is TA beyond a doubt. Reply 17 ...

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Text - activelurker777 • 1d · Asshole Enthusiast [8] NTA. As she's an adult, and has been for several years, she will have to deal with the consequence of her lack of self-care. You are not responsible in this matter, and she will have to start saving money for the veneers. BTW, if you are in the U.S., you will suffer most like incur a significant tax liability for withdrawing from your retirement fund. Reply 1 14 3 ...

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Text - civprosucks · 1d NTA. As someone who is 24, and felt lazy so I was about to go to sleep without brushing tonight, you have inspired me to hop out of my warm bed and brush my teeth before I sleep Reply ...

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Text - lost-cannuck • 1d • Colo-rectal Surgeon [37] Nta - you tried to encourage her to prevent this. She decided she knew better. Welcome to the consequences. Reply ... +

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Text - momgaret • 1d Nta Technically you can't afford it if the money is coming out of your retirement fund. I have mediocre teeth that I'm pretty self conscious of (because of the colour) but they're strong. Some people have weak teeth and take care of them and still need veneers or crowns but this isn't one of those cases. She willfully neglected her own care and now expects you to pay the price. Reply ...

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Text - easytigerpinklady · 1d · Partassipant [3] NTA So she thought you were just nagging her about it all her life for the enjoyment you find in daily arguments? She thought she had magic teeth that don't need any care? It sucks but what did she expect? Reply 1 6 ...

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Text - Eggplantll4927 · 1d Nta you can't afford to help her. Taking from your retirement account is ludicrous and irresponsible. You need every penny for your retirement. this is on your daughter to handle. She can do what everyone else does, save up. Get a second job. if you hand her the money, she won't do better. If she has to work hard for her smile she might value it Reply 1 2 ...

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Text - intolerablefem • 1d NTA. I'll put this as simple as I can. Your daughter is 24. You have no financial obligations to her. She's an AH for trying to push you into paying for a $10k+ procedure, knowing all too well that she caused this herself. Your daughter needs a reality check. Reply •..

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Text - emmwags10 • 1d NTA!!!! It's soo00 expensive AND she'll have to continually work to make sure the replacement teeth are well taken care. She's already proven she refuses to do so, so this won't be a $10k endeavor. It will almost certainly be much more over the years, and if you pay now, you'll be setting a precedent that you'll continue to do so. She can explore other options, but this is a hole she dug herself into. My dad is a dentist and he talks all the time about how the worst part of

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Text - lonnielee3 · 1d · Asshole Enthusiast [5] NTA. Don't deplete your retirement fund. Not estimating exactly how far upward of $10K, I can tell you, 10k is a drop in the bucket (at least in my country) if that many of her teeth are beyond fillings or have already been removed. You might consider offering to help her pay for old fashioned dentures. This is a sad situation but you tried to prevent this happening for many years. Reply ...

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Text - seba_make · 1d NTA What did she expect was going to happen? She's 24, it's not your problem now. You tried and she didn't listen. It's her responsibility and she hast to deal with it. Reply 4 2

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Text - Fuck-mylemonade • 1d NTA. She's an adult, she chose not to care for her teeth, and if she wouldn't take care of her teeth before, what's to say she will now? It sounds like you tried your best to avoid this outcome, it's not your problem she refused to listen. Reply ...

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Text - Luciforreal · 1d NTA. Talk about shooting yourself in the leg and blaming the person who invented the gun. She made her bed, now she has to sleep in it. Not having teeth is a serious issue tho and it could really affect her self-esteem so you might wanna lookout for any behavioural shifts in her, like depression. Ultimately, it's up to you whether or not you would like to fund her veneers but know not to harm your future because you did your job as a mother and she can't blame you for not

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