Thursday, December 24, 2020

Woman On Twitter Tells Hilarious Story Of Runaway Pomeranian


We need more stories of this troublemaking Pomeranian, stirring up all kinds of ruckus around the neighborhood. Twitter user @Cmpriest, tells a hilarious story of "Chunk" being a big old rascal. 

1.

Text - Merry Priest (rhymes with Cherie Priest) @cmpriest Things overheard whilst a zippy Pomeranian named "Chunk" escaped his yard and chased after me while I walked Greyson and Lucy this morning. A thread:

2.

Text - Merry Priest (rhymes with Cherie Priest) @cmpriest "You get your fat furry ass back here, Chunk! You know what you are? You are BRUNCH when those dogs catch you!"

3.

Text - Merry Priest (rhymes with Cherie Priest) @cmpriest "THEY ARE GONNA EAT YOU! DON'T DO IT! I LOVE YOU, CHUNK, GET BACK HERE!"

4.

Text - Merry Priest (rhymes with Cherie Priest) @cmpriest "YOU ARE A SNACK! A MOTHERFUCKING SNACK!"

5.

Text - Merry Priest (rhymes with Cherie Priest) @cmpriest "AND I'M NOT EVEN GONNA BE MAD ABOUT IT, BECAUSE IT'S YOUR OWN DAMN FAULT YOU FAT LITTLE FERRET IN A BEAR SUIT!"

6.

Text - Merry Priest (rhymes with Cherie Priest) @cmpriest "NAW, I'M JUST LYIN'. COME BACK, CHUNK! I DON'T WANT YOU TO BE A SNACK! YOU'RE MY LITTLE SNACK! MOMMA LOVES YOU! COME TO MOMMA!"

7.

Text - Merry Priest (rhymes with Cherie Priest) @cmpriest "FOR CHRISSAKE CHUNK DON'T DO IT! DON'T RUN UP ON THAT LADY! DON'T RUN UP ON THOSE DOGS!"

8.

Text - Merry Priest (rhymes with Cherie Priest) @cmpriest "OH GOD I CAN'T LOOK"

9.

Text - Merry Priest (rhymes with Cherie Priest) @cmpriest ME: "IT'S OKAY! YOU CAN LOOK! THEY WON'T HURT HIM, THEY LIKE LITTLE DOGS!" (this woman was down the block, on the other side of the street, incoming) WOMAN: "YOU DON'T KNOW THE LITTLE SHIT LIKEI DO! HE'LL BITE THEIR ANKLES AND THEY'LL SNACK HIM!"

10.

Text - Merry Priest (rhymes with Cherie Priest) @cmpriest Chunk: [arrives] [dive-bombs Lucy's ankles] Lucy: [IS DELIGHTED] Greyson: [IS APPALLED AND ATTEMPTS TO ESCAPE] Me: [tries not to step on Chunk while simultaneously trying to keep own dogs under control]

11.

Text - Merry Priest (rhymes with Cherie Priest) @cmpriest "HE'S A HORRIBLE LITTLE SHIT AND I LOVE HIM, PLEASE DON'T LET THEM EAT HIM!"

12.

Text - Merry Priest (rhymes with Cherie Priest) @cmpriest Lucy: [IS 100% HERE FOR THIS NEW GAME Chunk: [BEGINS PEEING ON EVERYTHING WITHIN REACH] Greyson: [IS ALSO A BOY DOG AND EVERYONE KNOWS THE LAST BOY-DOG TO PEE ON THE SPOT WINS] Chunk: [IS UP FOR THE CHALLENGE] Lucy: [STILL JUST WANTS TO PLAY WITH HER NEW LITTLE FRIEND]

13.

Text - Merry Priest (rhymes with Cherie Priest) @cmpriest Me: [140-pounds of woman attempting to corral approximately 200 pounds of dog while approximately 5 pounds of dog weaves between her feet looking for fresh things to pee on] Also me: [gets feet peed on] >

14.

Text - Merry Priest (rhymes with Cherie Priest) @cmpriest Chunk's Momma: [arrives, out of breath] [scoops up Chunk] [hugs Chunk tightly] [realizes Chunk is now spattered in pee, some of it not his own] [quite reasonably sets Chunk back down on the ground] "DEAR GOD."

15.

Text - Merry Priest (rhymes with Cherie Priest) @cmpriest Me: "Yeah, sorry about that." Her: "No, I'm sorry and he deserves the fuck out of the bath he's about to get." And SCENE

16.

Dog - Merry Priest (rhymes with Cherie Priest) @cmpriest Epilogue: I went home and threw my sneakers in the washing machine, and these two are still smiling because Chunk's momma told them they were very good and gave them pettings. 43

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