Saturday, December 5, 2020

Moments In History That Are Too Dumb To Seem Real


People have done stupid things for a long time and it doesn't seem like we're gonna stop anytime soon. History lets us see some of humanity's highlights when it comes to making irreparable mistakes, doing weird garbage, and getting killed in idiotic ways. Here are some history memes to feel smart about as well as some of the great trollings of history.

1.

Text - bobakittens 25.2k points · 12 hours ago · edited 1 hour ago 3 2 5 e3 3 2 E During 1774 Frederick the Great of Prussia had a free potato policy to help the people through the famine. A lot of people initially rejected the potatoes and so he had guards feign patrol of the potato fields so they looked more valuable and people would steal them in the night. Even though they were totally free.

2.

Text - KingAlfredOfEngland 13.7k points · 12 hours ago · edited 8 hours ago 2 Everything about Tycho Brahe is amazing. His nose was cut off in a duel, and replaced by a prosthetic made out of gold. He died when his bladder exploded because he drank too much alcohol. He had a friend, Jeppe, who he believed was a psychic dwarf. He was one of the wealthiest men in Denmark and owned a private island, which housed his observatory, before he went into exile after a spat with the 11-year-old king. Edit

3.

Text - Moses_The_Wise 23.7k points · 13 hours ago · edited 1 hour ago 2 2 3 3 Alright I don't remember the specifics. But there was a king (I believe a sumerian king) who was told by an oracle that "Disaster would befall the king." So he had a gardener crowned as king for a day, and that night the gardener would be executed, thus fulfilling the prophecy and saving the real king. Soon after the gardener's coronation, the real king choked on soup and died. The gardener ruled for 24 years Edit: htt

4.

Text - Fact-Crab 6.5k points · 12 hours ago 2 e S Jack Daniels (yeah, that Jack Daniels) died from an infected stubbed toe caused by him kicking a safe containing money to which he had forgotten the combination.

5.

Text - Nfield87 23.1k points · 12 hours ago 3 9 3 3 During the Spanish American War. The Spanish governor of Guam wasn't told about the war. When a US warship showed up he was happy to see them, cause he thought they where just visiting. Boy was he wrong.

6.

Text - Farkenoathm8-E 22.6k points · 11 hours ago & 16 More How the Berlin Wall fell. In order to calm mounting protests GDR officials decided on loosening travel restrictions between East and West, not open the border completely. Notes of the new rules had been handed to a spokesman who hadn't had time to read them before the press conference. "Private travel outside the country can now be applied for without prerequisites," he said. Surprised journalists clamoured for more details. Shuffling t

7.

Text - Ramtalok 30.1k points · 14 hours ago 2 3 & 4 More Not one but two kings of France died by smashing their heads on the top part of a door (lintel ?). Charles VIII in 1498 (the shock probably caused something else but still). Louis III on the other hand was pursuing a fair lady (who was actually trying to escape him) on his horse on the 5th of August 882, when she passed a door. The horse went through, not the king, who broke his skull and died instantly.

8.

Text - Toby_O_Notoby 3.2k points · 13 hours ago a When more people began started switching to skim milk dairy farmers had tons of milk fat left over so they stored it all in some caves in Missouri. This lead the USDA to open a department on Dairy Management to figure out what to do with it. Want to know why almost every fast food item comes with so much cheese? That's why.

9.

Text - DOrko 20.4k points · 14 hours ago More people have died from drowning in molasses than being attacked by coyotes.

10.

Text - JohnSmith2217 17.7k points · 9 hours ago 5 2 3 e7 Benjamin Hornigold was a pirate in the late 16 and early 1700s who once robbed a merchant vessel purely for the crews hats because he and his crew got so drunk the night before that they all threw their own hats overboard for no good reason.

11.

Text - 25 3 3 bakedmaga2020 28.9k points · 13 hours ago A man from New York missed his friends who were fighting in Vietnam. So he traveled thousands of miles to track them down in a combat zone to personally give them beer and letters from home. He even wrote a book about it called The Greatest Beer Run Ever

12.

Text - fbkjj 24.4k points · 14 hours ago It is said that Greek tragedian Aeschylus died because an eagle dropped a tortoise on his bald head, mistaken for a rock, in order to break the shell of the tortoise.

13.

Text - RealisticDelusions77 16.5k points · 15 hours ago · edited 13 hours ago 3 As WW2 revved up, the US realized that fast and cheap was the way to go with manufacturing ships (ex Liberty Ships). But there was a line of escort carriers made with so little armor that some Japanese armor-piercing shells went through the hull and out the other side without exploding, a nice surprise. https://warfarehistorynetwork.com/2019/01 /14/survival-off-samar/

14.

Text - Alistair_TheAlvarian 15.2k points · 13 hours ago There was a real plan to spike hitlers food with estrogen to try to turn him into a woman and make him give up on war. Hitler estrogen plan

15.

Text - theycallmemomo 14.8k points · 15 hours ago Honduras and El Salvador had a 3-day war over a football game.

16.

Text - Arcaeca 14.6k points · 11 hours ago 2 3 During WWI, Germany converted and armed a passenger cruise liner, the SMS Cap Trafalgar, into a cruiser, and sent to the Atlantic Ocean to disrupt British shipping. Off the coast of Brazil though, when they received word that a British ship was coming to flush out German ships disrupting British shipping, the SMS Cap Trafalgar decided to disguise itself as another ocean liner-turned-cruiser, the HMS Carmania, so that they wouldn't be shot at. The Br

17.

Text - spyraxian 14.1k points · 9 hours ago edited 3 hours ago e 32 A Skylab satellite's guidance system was failing and ended up crash landing in Australia. Instead of giving the satellite back, Skylab was charged with a $500 littering fine. After the fine was paid, the company wanted to put the satellite in a museum but was refused on the basis that since the satellite fell from space, its legally Australia's now. So now, Skylab pays a monthly rent to Australia to display its own satellite in

18.

Text - FenrirIII 13.2k points · 11 hours ago 2 e 3 2 In 1184, a number of nobles from across the Holy Roman Empire were meeting in a room at the Church of St. Peter, when their combined weight caused the floor to collapse into the latrine beneath the cellar and led to dozens of nobles drowning in liquid excrement. It is referred to as the Erfurt latrine disaster

19.

Text - Potato_Bees 11.8k points · 14 hours ago King George II Was so constipated while he was taking a crap his heart actually physically burst.

20.

Text - Mr-Pringlz-and-Carl 11.6k points · 12 hours ago A quote from Winston Churchill when he was visiting the White house and the president walked in on him buck naked: "The prime minister of the UK has nothing to hide from the president of the US."

21.

Text - Ms_Superhero1939 10.5k points · 12 hours ago e Corn flakes were originally marketed as an anti masturbation cereal and the man who made them, John Harvey Kellogg, adopted all 8 of his kids and didn't even sleep in the same room as his wife

22.

Text - SayNoToStim 8.4k points · 10 hours ago There is at least one person, Tsutomu Yamaguchi, who survived both Atomic bombs. I don't know if this is incredibly good luck or incredibly bad luck. According to some sources, he was in the middle of describing the Hiroshima bombing when the Nagasaki bomb went off only a few KM away.

23.

Text - chinesesneeze 7.8k points · 12 hours ago S Turkmen Bashi, the former dictator of Turkmenistan, made owning a dog illegal due to him thinking they smelled bad. wfaulk 2.2k points · 7 hours ago S He also renamed the month of April after his mother. And renamed bread after his mother.

24.

Text - DankNastyAssMaster 6.9k points · 11 hours ago · edited 11 hours ago 32 Fidel Castro loved milk so much that when his cow who holds the world record for most milk produced in a day died, he had her taxidermied, had a marble statue of her built and a full eulogy and obituary written for her in his state newspaper, and Cuban scientists have repeatedly tried (and failed) to clone her. Her name was Ubre Blanca, which means White Udder.

25.

Text - FredrickTheWriter69 6.5k points · 12 hours ago The reason there isn't a lot of mummies around anymore, is because we ate them.

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