Monday, December 14, 2020

Hilarious Saga Of Karen Vs. Frank The Christmas Gargoyle


Man, petty neighbor wars are always a spectacle to behold. In this case though, we have just the kind of unprecedented neighbor war that takes pettiness to dizzying heights. Karen's been out there acting like the Grinch, and leaving all the passive aggressive/straight up aggressive notes that she can muster up. Fortunately, the dude on the other end of this exchange has no problem meeting Karen's onslaught of notes with their own passive aggressive power plays. Talk about a thoroughly enjoyable, absolutely hilarious little saga. Check out some more of the world's pettiest revenges over here

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Sculpture - Follow the Saga of the Battle of Frank and the neighborhood Karen! 120K 24K Comments Like לו Comment Share

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Text - So one of my neighbors left me an note informing me that my gargoyle statue is "not appropriate" and "not in keeping with the Christmas spirit." They firmly suggested that I "rectify the situation immediately." Well problem solved! Frank is now festive! I'm pretty sure that this is not what they had in mind and I look forward to the future note stating as much, but 1. Frank is very heavy and he doesn't get moved and 2. I like him even if he's not so great at warding off evil Karens.

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Winter - Got a new note wanting to know if I think I'm funny. Why yes, yes I do. I | decided to add an elf on the shelf and leave a note back that the elf is always watching. I may add one item a day now like an advent calendar. Too bad my porch is so small, I could really deck it out.

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Snowman - Today we added a snowman. No new notes yet, but the one I left was crumpled up and in my flower bed so “Karen" knows it's on.

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Event - YIPPEE 林 KI YAY ILE**

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Costume accessory - T素厂 YIPPEE 7 KI YAY : :: : :: *** ***

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Text - Okay, this one is by special request. I don't wade into the "Die Hard" is a Christmas movie debate, but I imagine "Karen" is not of the mind that it is. Therefore it seems most appropriate to include Bruce Willis in my display. Yippee ki-yay and Merry Christmas! No new notes as of yet, but I will keep you updated.

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Winter - YIPPEE 林 林 %23 KI YAY 林林 人。

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Text - I tried to convince one of the cats to sit outside in a costume as part of my display, kind of like one of those living nativity displays. They all declined. So festive skeleton cat it is!

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Cookware and bakeware - Hello Pot „Meet Kettle Got another note on my door when I arrived home from work today. Karen informed me that l'm being "beyond childish" and "my behavior is ridiculous." She also called me out for "celebrating death" which I assume means she does not like my festive cat skeleton and said that it is "unbelievable that I would mock the homeless in such a manner." I'm assuming she's talking about the Die Hard picture and doesn't know that's Bruce Willis, but l'm not fluent

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Text - who knows. She complained about my inflatable Christmas Fiona in the front yard, which is just RUDE! Who doesn't love Fiona? Oh, and she threatened to report me to the HOA again. Anyway, I'm going to leave this picture taped to the front door in place of the note tomorrow in addition to the next piece in what I'm referring to as "the best damn festive display in the land." Stay tuned.

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Holiday - Well if she didn't like the cat, she's definitely not going to like the dog. I think he's hella festive though. He's also noise activated and has fresh batteries. Next time she leaves a note she's in for a surprise. I made sure to put a collar and tags on him. I don't want Karen reporting me to the county for having an unlicensed dog! This display is going to take over my entire porch.

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Dog clothes

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Text - GO TO HELL!! Hello Pot Meet Kettle It would seem that my dog got a little frisky and went after Karen this morning. The note was short sweet and to the point today

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Carmine - ARR'S 0000

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Toy - K FIONA I had an early morning dentist appointment and needed to go to the grocery, so it was dark when I put out today's addition. Karen had already been here by the time I got home. Originally I just had the hippos out, but she left me a note

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Text - hippos out, but she left me a note saying "HIPPS HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!" Written just like that in all caps and a full ten exclamation points. (I kinda feel like lI'm talking to my dad now. He used to text me in all caps.) I personally found this statement false and offensive. Who doesn't want a hippopotamus for Christmas?? Okay, maybe it's just me. Anyway, I put the sign up so she'd know how incorrect she is. Oh I forgot to mention I got a sign for the dog. It lights u

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Toy - YIPPEE KI YAY Hippos are Christmas AF

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Sculpture - BEWARE of DOG

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Plush - FIONA Hippos are Christmas AF!! (There's a song about it and it's fabulous!)

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Text - Please leave all notes with The Phantom. "Who would have the gall to send this? Someone with a puerile braini" (sing it Karen, it's better that way.) With all these notes l've been getting, it made me think about someone else who liked to write demanding notes-namely the Phantom of the Opera. I guess that makes me Monsieur Firmin now. Anyway, I thought Karen needed a

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Text - Anyway, I thought Karen needed a place to put her notes so she wouldn't waste so much tape putting them on my front door, so I made her a note box complete with a Phantom and lyrics from the musical. You may have also noticed the large wreath that was added today. I know what you're thinking-that's boring and l'm losing my touch. Fear not, that is no ordinary wreath. It is a magical portal to the Land that of Alternate Christmas. You never know what might start popping out of it.

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Red - VAY BEWARE Mof DOG THE STARR'S

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Red - Please leave all notes with The Phantom. "Who would have the gall to send this? Someone with a puerile brainı" (sing it Karen, it's better that way.)

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Christmas decoration - co COVE CIANT micre COVID-19 Roronavirus Disease 2019 ARS-COV-21 GAT through the wreath is --coronavirus!! It is 2020 after all. It was only a matter of time before this asshole showed up. Maybe he'll be able to keep Karen six feet away from my porch. Well it looks like the first one CIAN

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Event - Coven YIPPEE KI YAY Hppos are Christmas AF Th

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Costume accessory - nicr COVID-19 Coronavirus Disease 2019 SARS-COV-21 GIANTmicrobes.com Cov

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Snowman - Please leave allnotes with the Phantum Whe weuld have the galltesend thiar Someane with a peerile brain aing Karen is beter that wwy We have a note!!! And she put it in the trash can!! Today, Karen wanted me to know that 1. I'm stupid and immature, 2. If I keep it up, I'll be sorry, 3. She's friends with the mayor, and 4. Her name is NOT Karen!--ROFLMAO!!!

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Hat - Since the plague of 2020 showed up yesterday, it seemed that we were in need of a doctor. He appears to be a little holiday confused, but cut him some slack. It isn't easy being a frontline healthcare worker these days.

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Poster - are you thirsty for more? Santas

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Text - Didn't expect a note today since it's raining but Karen made sure to inform me that I have officially been reported to the HOA and the mayor is being called. I feel the only appropriate response is a little Kevin McCallister The mayor actually lives in this neighborhood. The city does do this Spirit of Union award that they give out to like the best landscaped house or something like that. They put it in the newsletter. Wouldn't that be cool if he gave me like a special Spirit of Union aw

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WHOA!! I go away for three hours and there was a melee! Looks like we struck a nerve today. Karen's note today indicated that she is most unappreciative "that I would choose to put VERMIN on my porch." My display is "horrid," and

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Text - porch." My display is "horrid," and my parents "must be so proud to have raised such a completely disrespectful and spiteful daughter." Well Karen, my parents are no longer with us, but I'm absolutely positive they would be proud and loving this whole thing. Where do you think I got my sense of humor and charm from? Plus, my mom taught to never back down from a bully. So yeah, they'd be laughing their asses off. My mom would be making me more holiday hats to use. Now all my rats and dog h

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Leaf - THE STARR HRVEA CHILLYDAD

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Organism - God and Santa love all creatures great and small. That's why we have veterinarians! You know who they don't love? They don't love mean Karens who throw tiny creatures. BAD KAREN!! You're a very bad Karen! No treats for you! Now you go think about what you did. SIX FEET BACK PLEASE. Okay we've patched up the wounded had vaccinated them all against Karen cooties. The doc got a new face shield to protect him as well. We are Buckeyes we don't

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Text - well. We are Buckeyes we don't throw in the towel like Michigan Wolverines do. We rub some dirt on it and carry on! The only appropriate response to insulting my rats is to naturally add a few more. Karen has officially been rat shamed!

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Vertebrate

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Toy - BEWAR OY DOG

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Costume accessory

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Text - Frank the Christmas Gargoyle ... 1d ·O Santa isn't Santa without his elves, and a plague doctor isn't a plague doctor without his rats. We all know it's the little guys who do all the heavy lifting while the boss gets all the credit, so these guys are bringing the festive!! They are doing all the holidays!! It's like an army of festivity!! I'm going to need a bigger porch!

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Hat

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Text - Frank the Christmas Gargoyle 19h · WHOA!! I go away for three hours and there was a melee! Looks like we struck a nerve today. Karen's note today indicated that she is most unappreciative "that I would choose to put VERMIN on my porch." My display is "horrid," and my parents "must be so proud to have raised such a completely disrespectful and spiteful daughter." Well Karen, my parents are no longer with us, but l'm absolutely positive they would be proud and loving this whole thing. Where

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Toy

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Holiday - THE STARR'S

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Soil - THE STARR HAVEACHILLYDAD

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Text - Frank the Christmas Gargoyle 17h · O •.. Okay we've patched up the wounded had vaccinated them all against Karen cooties. The doc got a new face shield to protect him as well. We are Buckeyes we don't throw in the towel like Michigan Wolverines do. We rub some dirt on it and carry on! The only appropriate response to insulting my rats is to naturally add a few more. Karen has officially been rat shamed!

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Toy - God and Santa love all creatures great and small. That's why we have veterinarians! You know who they don't love? They don't love mean Karens who throw tiny creatures. BAD KAREN!! You're a very bad Karen! No treats for you! Now you go think about what you did. SIX FEET BACK PLEASE.

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