Alarming and Humorous Junk said by Sleep Talkers

Wednesday, September 9, 2020

Alarming and Humorous Junk said by Sleep Talkers

When it comes to sleep talking, people run the gamut of unintentionally hilarious to mind-mindbogglingly creepy. On one hand you could have a guy farting himself half awake and demanding an apology, and on the other hand you could find a loved on in your corner begging to be let out of their flesh-tiled skin prison. Sometimes people get sleep paralysis and their loved ones mistakenly think they're getting visited by Satan.

1.

Text - dadjokedame 5.4k points · 3 days ago 3 & 4 More He farted very loudly and proceeded to say, “you got the wrong guy"

2.

Text - panicked228 37.9k points · 3 days ago · edited 3 days ago 5 & 16 More We were freshly married and living overseas. My husband hadn't had much sleep the nights before, which usually enhances any sleep talking. It was hot in our room. My husband mumbled something which I didn't quite catch. I asked him to repeat it. He got up, opened the bedroom window and said very pointedly "Air flow, Bitch!" then laid back down, completely asleep. Now, my husband has never, not once, ever called me a nam

3.

Text - burgervann 31.1k points · 3 days ago O 2 8 2 & 13 More my boyfriend once blurted out "you're putting BREAD in my ears" in his sleep, mumbled something unintelligible and then followed up with "and i'm becoming a SANDWICH". still makes me laugh whenever i remember

4.

Text - eyeslikeacrab 24.6k points · 3 days ago Fantastic sleep songs with lyrics which are utterly bizarre. 3 & 23 More My two absolute favourites have been 1. "Oh whoa whoa, it's a corner cat" 2. "Obey my rules, an' you'll always be, a country cowboy" - repeated about 5 times and finished with a "yeaaahhhh."

5.

Text - Bitchy_Ghost 24.1k points · 3 days ago & 4 More I'm the sleep talker. A long while back my fiancee was working a job where she didn't get home until after midnight. She came home one night, and was leaning over the table on my said of the bed. She swears up and down that I looked up at her, smacked her on the top of the head, and when she asked what the hell that I told her I was checking to see if she was a ghost. Now, I do remember having a dream like this, but in my dream my hand did g

6.

Text - 21.2k points · 3 days ago Roommate freshman year of college was a ignatious_reilly sleepwalker/sleeptalker. We were in the freshman dorms, small little room. I woke up one night and saw him sitting straight up on the side of the bed just staring at me (eyes fully open) just talking gibberish about golf. He was going on about Phil Mickelson or some shit. Have to be honest, it was creepy as all hell because he was staring directly into my eyes. Next morning, I told him about it and he just

7.

Text - 32 elizwacker 21.1k points · 3 days ago I have had funnier experiences than this one, but cannot remember exactly what was said... most recently, though: My boyfriend scoots over to me to big spoon/little spoon, and I snuggle in, thinking that's all it was, then he gets real close to my ear and whispers, "Just so you know, there's something in the closet. Like a... a cartoon turtle." I did my best not to bust out laughing and just said, "Ok honey!" When he woke up, he had no memory of it

8.

Text - Metal_Barbie 20.8k points · 3 days ago He got up, went into the kitchen and ate one bite of a mini pecan pie - no fork, just a straight bite - then apparently remembered he hates pecan pie and left it stacked neatly on the little box. Another time he sat up and stared straight ahead at the wall, didn't respond to me asking what was wrong. He stood up, walked into the wall, then stood there like he was contemplating the barrier. He just backed up exactly as he came, sat down and swung back

9.

Text - PersephoneRules 6.8k points · 3 days ago Husband woke up in the morning and told me about a crazy dream he had: we were hosting a party and he was serving cookies. He was upset that nobody was eating them. When we went downstairs, we discovered a full plate of cookies sitting on our dining table.

10.

Text - rox-and-soxs 20.3k points · 3 days ago · edited 3 days ago He started shouting that he couldn't feel his left arm. I pointed out he was pinching his pillow, not his arm. He then freaked out that he had lost his arm. I pointed out his arm was UNDER his pillow. He said ok and started snoring. It took me another hour to get back to sleep. He didn't wake up at all.

11.

Text - Dusty_Old_Bones 20.1k points · 3 days ago 2 5 & 2 More My aunt likes to tell the story about her and my cousin sharing a hotel room one time. My aunt woke up having to pee, and found my cousin sitting up in bed with her arms folded across her abdomen, kind of rocking back and forth and giggling quietly. When my aunt asked her what she was doing, my cousin said, "I'm holding a baby and it has an adult smile!" I found this story deeply unsettling.

12.

$Text - Catan_Settler 17.7k points · 3 days ago My mom sleepwalks sometimes. When she was in the middle of her residency, she came into my room in the middle of the night and sharply asked, "Did you give {patient} her dose of {medication} like I asked you to 15 minutes ago?" I groggily replied, "Who? Wha?" She just huffed and said, "Well I guess that answers my question." Before turning around and leaving. (without closing the door of course) She didn't remember a thing about it the next morning.$