Saturday, August 15, 2020

Twitter Thread: Man Writes Titanic Sequel For His Crush


Daniel Dockery's story about writing a Titanic sequel for his middle school crush might bring those memories of all the silly things you did for old flames, rushing to the forefront of your mind. When we're young and fearless the limits that we'll go to to impress those people that have caught our fancy, are seemingly boundless. 

1.

Text - Daniel Dockery Follow @dandock When I was in middle school, I had a crush on a girl whose favorite movie was Titanic. So, to impress her, I wrote an outline for a sequel called Titanic 2. And for every like this tweet gets, I will reveal another awful detail of this story.

2.

Text - Daniel Dockery Follow @dandock I had never seen Titanic before writing Titanic 2. I had read the plot synopsis, and learned the two main characters' names. I figured that was enough.

3.

Text - Daniel Dockery Follow @dandock I had spoken to this girl twice. Once to learn her name, and once, during gym class, to learn her favorite movie. That seemed like plenty of time to establish a solid relationship and then throw fan fiction at her.

4.

Text - Daniel Dockery Follow @dandock The name of the boat in Titanic 2 was Titanic 2. This went through a number of revisions, including calling it just "Titanic" and "Goliath," but in the end, the producers (me) went with "Titanic 2."

5.

Text - Daniel Dockery Follow @dandock I knew that Rose was telling the story, but because l'd just read a brief synopsis, I had know idea of her exact age. So, I made this a time travel story as well.

6.

Text - Daniel Dockery Follow @dandock In Titanic 2, Rose travels to the future, where they have a procedure that makes people young again. She undergoes it, and then finds out that there's a procedure that brings people back to life. And so she resurrects Jack.

7.

Text - Daniel Dockery Follow @dandock Jack is back. Again, due to never seeing the movie, I didn't know what his old self was like. His only attribute was that he loved Rose. This was fitting, because my only attribute at the time was devising awful stories to impress women who didn't know my name.

8.

Text - Daniel Dockery Follow @dandock For drama, I invented a thing where you're given two "life packs" to survive in this new world. Lose both of them, and you die, somehow.

9.

Text - Daniel Dockery Follow @dandock They find Jack's intact corpse at the bottom of the ocean near the Titanic 1 and dredge it up along with the boat.

10.

Text - Daniel Dockery Follow @dandock They decide, despite it being historically and ridiculously unsafe, to ride the Titanic 2 up and down the coast of North Carolina, my home state.

11.

Text - Daniel Dockery Follow @dandock Now, I knew what the Titanic looked like. As a kid, I was obsessed with anything that could be considered largest or heaviest in the world. My fave animal at the time was the Saltwater Crocodile, and my fave building was whichever one was tallest in 2002.

12.

Text - Daniel Dockery Follow @dandock Now, due to the immense creative pressure that writing the outline of Titanic 2 put on me, I wasn't able to really devote any energy into talking to my crush. I did tell her once that I liked her t-shirt, and she responded by not hearing me.

13.

Text - Daniel Dockery Follow @dandock But if you're thinking that the Titanic 2 is a futuristic ship with sci-fi doodads and such, you'd be disappointed. It was the same ol' boat.

14.

Text - Daniel Dockery Follow @dandock And here's where the villain of the story enters: The unscrupulous dude who wants to steal Rose from Jack! His name was a subtle homage to my favorite Star Wars character: Bob Fett.

15.

Text - Daniel Dockery Follow @dandock So Rose drops one of her life packs off the side of the boat. Why? 'Cause I'm dumb and bad at writing.

16.

Text - Daniel Dockery Follow @dandock Then, in a confrontation with Bob Fett, Jack gets one of his life packs ripped off. 0000OH. DRAMA.

17.

Text - Daniel Dockery Follow @dandock I had Bob Fett gain a knife hand because l'd seen something similar in the cinematic masterpiece The Wild Wild West.

18.

Text - Daniel Dockery Follow @dandock When Jack and Rose aren't dueling a man with a knife for his fuckin' hand, they're mostly just making out in different areas of the boat. The Titanic 2 was Make Out Central and that was all there was to do.

19.

Text - Daniel Dockery Follow @dandock OH SHIT. I totally forgot to mention that Bob Fett has a knife for a hand. That will come up again later.

20.

Text - Daniel Dockery Follow @dandock Now, I'm sure you're thinking "Daniel, you probably had the boat sink again, didn't you?" And you are too correct, my friends.

21.

Text - Daniel Dockery Follow @dandock The Titanic 2 (which to remind you, is sailing off the coast of North Carolina) strikes another iceberg.

22.

Text - Daniel Dockery Follow @dandock Rose was on one section, Bob Fett was on another (He killed the captain, by the way, for reasons that I didn't bother to invent), and Jack was on the last one.

23.

Text - Daniel Dockery Follow @dandock I shared this story with my friend named Nick. And I've never seen a person that i considered my best friend look so amazingly uninterested in something.

24.

Text - Daniel Dockery Follow @dandock The boat begins to sink. I knew that the Titanic split in half, but in a stroke of inspiration, I had it crack in THREE PLACES.

25.

Text - Daniel Dockery Follow @dandock So, Jack manages to run into Bob Fett and they have a long, drawn out fight on a section of the boat. Jack knows many martial arts, but Bob Fett has a knife for a hand, so the fight is pretty even.

26.

Text - Daniel Dockery Follow @dandock Eventually, Jack manages to knock Bob Fett off the side of the ship, and thinks he's dead. BUT WAIT. Bob Fett stuck his knife hand in the side of the boat and survived!

27.

Text - Daniel Dockery Follow @dandock I had planned to deliver this story to the girl I had a crush on in actual book form. But, because I had no means of making that happen, I simply decided to hand her the legal pad that I took from my Dad that I was writing this on.

28.

Text - Daniel Dockery Follow @dandock Jack knocks Bob Fett off the boat again, but Bob Fett sticks his knife in the side of the boat again. But Jack kicks him off, leaving the knife hand stuck in the boat. I thought that would make a cool visual.

29.

Text - Daniel Dockery Follow @dandock Jack reunites with Rose, and they make out some more. But Bob Fett RISES FROM BEHIND THEM AND SLASHES ROSE'S LAST LIFE PACK.

30.

Text - Daniel Dockery Follow @dandock So Rose is bleeding out of her life pack. She doesn't have much time to live. This is also due to the fact that a giant boat has know been divided into three pieces, but ehhh. Logic can wait.

31.

Text - Daniel Dockery Follow @dandock Jack and Rose manage to find a doctor, and Jack, making the ultimate sacrifice, says "Give my last life pack to Rose."

32.

Text - Daniel Dockery Follow @dandock I don't remember how Rose makes it back to the shores of North Carolina. Did the Titanic 2 totally sink? Or did she make it back on a piece of the ship? l'd just seen JAWS, and considering my obsession with that movie and its end, I imagine she probably just paddled her way back.

33.

Text - Daniel Dockery Follow @dandock Jack gives Rose his last life pack, and she is revived. Despite losing both life packs, Jack still has time to deliver a monologue about love to Rose.

34.

Text - Daniel Dockery Follow @dandock Jack dies and Rose pushes his corpse off the Titanic. Looking back on it, this is kind of a funny choice.

35.

Text - Daniel Dockery Follow @dandock Credits. That's the end of Titanic 2. Now, to actually deliver the story to my crush.

36.

Text - Daniel Dockery Follow @dandock I remember it clearly. It was the day that we were supposed to pay for yearbook photos. I was armed with with a few dollars from Mom and a legal pad with Titanic 2. I was ready.

37.

Text - Daniel Dockery Follow @dandock After some chit chat, where I told her that I wanted to make movies when I grew up (or be a pro wrestler, whichever happened first), I told her that I had written Titanic 2.

38.

Text - Daniel Dockery Follow @dandock I should've just handed her the legal pad. I should've done that. But instead, I decided to tell her the plot, starting with the life pack stuff and focusing only on the life pack stuff.

39.

Text - Daniel Dockery Follow @dandock I told her also about the "Give my last life pack to Rose" thing, and I expected tears, tears over the beautiful work that I had conceived. She, on the other hand, was concerned about how there would be a second Titanic in the first place.

40.

Text - Daniel Dockery Follow @dandock I opened the conversation with the delightfully tact "Hey, umm, do you remember Titanic?"

41.

Text - Daniel Dockery Follow @dandock Eventually, though, I decided to ask her what her thoughts were. Let's brainstorm, ya know? Give me writing tips and then I can ask you out for Taco Bell.

42.

Text - Daniel Dockery Follow @dandock So, I ended up just handing her the legal pad. She immediately asked me if I wanted it back, and I said "No, read it." And then I walked away. Ya know, like James Bond would've done.

43.

Text - Daniel Dockery Follow @dandock I waited two whole weeks for her to finish what was a three page story. What did she think? Was she enamored? Was she reading it over and over again? Did she want to....keep it?

44.

Text - Daniel Dockery Follow @dandock I asked her where the story was and if she liked it? Her response? "Oh, I left it on the bus."

45.

Text - Daniel Dockery Follow @dandock I know. Me, too.

46.

Text - Daniel Dockery Follow @dandock She did say that she'd read it, though, and found that she couldn't tell what was really going on sometimes. Still, she'd read it, so two thumbs up.

47.

Text - Daniel Dockery Follow @dandock Years later, I met her in a pizza restaurant and we had some drinks and laughed about old times. I asked her if she really read Titanic 2, and then that l'd done it because I had a crush on her.

48.

Text - Daniel Dockery Follow @dandock Her response was a firm "Oh, I never would've gone out with you, but that's funny." The end.

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