Wednesday, August 26, 2020

Brutal Junk Kids Said to Adults


Untethered by the chains of shame, kids say some extremely brutal stuff to the people around them. It can be insulting, straight up psychopathic, and at worst, hauntingly accurate. Kids are mostly weird and dumb, and they often have stupid beliefs, but damn if they aren't sometimes savagely on the money.

1.

Text - scheffj 209 points · 18 hours ago Nana says 'George Bush Sr. and I only have one thing in common, we both hate broccoli.' My daughter responds, ' one day soon, you will have two things in common.'

2.

Text - _Fengo 208 points · 18 hours ago My 6 year old cousin, 4 at the time, told me "you wear pajamas in the day because you're a disaster."

3.

Text - amalgamas 4.2k points · 23 hours ago Little girl was dressed as a fast food worker for Halloween was being given shit by her aunt for her "low choice" and that she needed to aim higher if she wanted to succeed, whole thing was really demeaning and weird. Girl fired back with: I'm only 12, what's your excuse for being poor then?

4.

Text - sabsteve 4.1k points · 21 hours ago My 11 year old sister to one of my friends: "Hey, did you know that if you were to eat a bee, you would have more brains in your stomach than in your head." A conversation I overheard between my father and sister: My father: "Can your little legs carry your big smart mouth?" My sister: "can your legs carry your big stomach?"

5.

Text - kay37892 3.0k points · 21 hours ago The other day my 6 year old daughter was sitting next to me and looked me right in the eye and said “why do you have a mustache?" I'm a woman, by the way.

6.

Text - Zenmedic 2.1k points · 20 hours ago I was at a public safety education event for grades 5/6 representing EMS. I was showing a kid some of the advanced things we do and her teacher asked "So, would you want to be a Paramedic?" Her repl.."No, I'm going to study business, I want to be able to pay my bills". Still kinda stings.

7.

Text - Stny3012 274 points · 19 hours ago When I was 4-5 years old I was sitting in my step mom's lap in the car (good ole 90's when car safety was less of a concern) and I was slapping her leg, uncovered because of her shorts. I said, "it ripples like a pool!"...I did not realize until I was older why she was so offended.

8.

Text - PhreedomPhighter 2.1k points · 23 hours ago My 8 year old niece-in-law was talking to my brother and me. Since her aunt was dating my brother she asked me who my girlfriend was. I said I didn't have one. She said "Oh... some people are just supposed to be alone, I guess." Gee, thanks.

9.

Text - AsakOpt3r 2.0k points · 22 hours ago My ex was a heavy dude. He changed his shirt in front of his 4 year old nephew, who looked at his belly confused and genuinely asked him if his stomach was his butt.

10.

Text - Taggy2087 284 points · 20 hours ago My friend when he was about 4 was in trouble so he had to be in the kitchen with his mom where she could see him. He was bored and wanted to play but she wouldn't let him so he looked at her and said in his sweetest voice "mom if you're here, who's running hell?" Still the most savage burn I've seen in a while.

11.

Text - Rachael1188 2.0k points · 21 hours ago My 5 year old niece told my mom to calm her tits.

12.

Text - goodworkingorder 1.2k points · 21 hours ago · edited 12 hours ago In a busy store, kid maybe 4 years old getting ignored. "Dad. Dad. Dad. Daddy. Dad. Daddy. DADDY. DADDY. DAD. DADA! DADDY! DADDY! DADA! DAD! DAD!" 5 seconds later a great shout comes out this kid. "STEEEEEEVE!" That got dad's attention, he jumped 3 inches.

13.

Text - ShinitaiMeiko 1.1k points · 22 hours ago Halloween was comming soon, my sister was talking to one of my 5yo cousings. "Hey honey! What do you think your mommy should dress like for halloween? A princess?". The kid smiled: "She's waaay too ugly for a princess! Mommy should be a witch!" We kept quiet for the rest of the day. Mommy never knew.

14.

Text - gigidy1010191 984 points · 22 hours ago My sister who is 10 walked upto me yesterday- looked my dead in the eye and said "Jessie- you're a whore". Completely outta nowhere.

15.

Text - LaunchesKayaks 978 points · 21 hours ago My sister looked at me and said, "you look like you're pregnant, but you're not"

16.

Text - hjnatt 753 points · 18 hours ago I'm a high school teacher. Once a student came up to me and said "Ms. has anyone told you that you look nice today?" I said "Aww. Thank you! They haven't." She then said "Good. I wanted to make sure no one was lying to you." And walked away.

17.

Text - KingwoodSloth 750 points · 20 hours ago My son. Asian store. About 6 years ago. "Daddy it smells in here" me shushing him trying to get him to shut up. He continues " it smells worse than you". Mind you, he has no concept for inside voice.

18.

Text - demonardvark 742 points · 22 hours ago was chilling at a wedding, the bridesmaids were sitting there with the 5 year old flower girl. one of the bridesmaids said she wished she would be the next to get married and the flower girl said "no becky you are too ugly to get married". i burst out laughing.

19.

Text - shroom2021 721 points · 20 hours ago When I was around 4 or 5 we went to Canada to attend my grandfathers funeral. It was a long time coming so my grandmother had been handling it well. We stayed up there for about 2 weeks after since it was summer and we usually spent august up there anyways, but this time as we were pulling out of the driveway to head back south I leaned out the window and shouted "Bye Grandma! Love you! Don't die now!"

20.

Text - Kramanos 616 points · 22 hours ago My 7 year old: "Dad, you're going to be 40 soon. That's old." Me: "Are you going to put me into a retirement home when I turn 40?" 7yo: "No, you'll still have to work 25 more years before you can retire." oof

21.

Text - Jahnknob 545 points · 20 hours ago My little sister..maybe 4 yrs old tops in the elevator at my grandparents retirement home. Little old lady gets off the elevator and looks back at sis; "Bye bye sweet heart". Sis, "Bye bye scum bucket". Elevator door closes.

22.

Text - KenComesInABox 548 points · 18 hours ago Giving my 11 year old nieces advice before they start middle school, telling them how mean other tweens can be and that I'm there for them if they need support. One of them responds "you must have been a real loser in middle school" THANKS

23.

Text - frittermo 492 points · 21 hours ago My mom had my younger sister a lot older than she had me and my other siblings, there is an 18 year difference between us. My mom always talks about how old she is (usually in a joking sense when its hard to get up from the couch). They stopped by to visit me the other day and as my mom got up from the chair, she goes "ugh, I'm getting old!". My sassy 8 year old sis goes, "the only thing getting old is you saying you're old." She's too funny.

24.

Text - MrsBanhammer 401 points · 18 hours ago My daughter is a genius and on the spectrum... this has led to some hilarious (in hindsight) encounters. My mother-in-law was spending time with the little one to get to know her better (she was an unplanned life happens adoption and will be our only child.) They were folding clothes in my MIL's Living room when the otherwise silent all day 3yr old turns to her and says: “My panties are too small to fold." she held up my MIL's underwear she had been

25.

Text - thefreshestpeach 356 points · 18 hours ago I was playing "the floor is lava" with my then 4yr old niece. I pretended to start drowning in lava reaching my hand out to her yelling, "Please help me". My niece pops her head over the edge of the couch, looks straight into my eyes and whispered, "No one is going to save you." I drowned, "died", and never played lava with her again.

26.

Text - BigBucs731 318 points · 18 hours ago Standing behind a lady with her son about 5-6 years old. It was Christmas time and mother told kid to stop acting up or Santa wasn't coming this year. Kid: "Fuck Santa Claus. I'm sick if hearing about that son of a bitch." I fucking lost it..

27.

Text - celerybration 299 points · 21 hours ago I was visiting a high-end resort town last month and heard a mother on the sidewalk say "I wish I could retire here" and her son (8-ish?) laughed and said "you're never going to retire."

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