Saturday, July 11, 2020

Tumblr Thread: Contortionist Leaves 7-11 Cashier Traumatized


This golden Tumblr thread centers on a tale of a young woman's quest for a burrito that resulted in one unlucky cashier thinking he probably had a run-in with an actual demon. At least his encounter with the "demon" was a completely amicable one. 

1.

Text - gallusrostromegalus Let's Have Another Bullet Point Story, Courtesy of a Friend So I have a friend that used to be in the tumblers troupe at the renfaire as a contortionist We were chatting online and she told me to tell you all this story. I love Kat dearly but she forgets that she's stupid strong and hypermobile

2.

Text - so one day she throws her back out bad enough that she needed painkillers and couldn't stand upright "But also I needed Tampons and like. A Burrito, real bad." she's flat on her back in her apartment when she decides this and, in an impeccable leap of reasoning, decides

3.

Text - "I can't roll my back forward to sit/stand up like normal. But I can ARCH my back just fine. SO I'm going to do that and get on my hands and feet in a stomach-in-the-air this-shit-belongs-in-a-horror-movie- type pose, And amble on down to the 7-11"

4.

Text - "And get me that Burrito" It is, for context, after midnight in July during a wildfire so it's hot as satan's own asshole and the moon is red and shit's already generally cursed.

5.

Text - Imagineyou are some poor sap working nights at the world's deadest 7-11, and you hear the door jangle but you don't see anyone's head over the counters. Whatever. Except you keep hearing noises like there's someone in the next aisle over. Fucking around in the burrito section

6.

Text - It's also worth mentioning that Kat 1. sings whatever earworm is currently running through her head when she's not paying attention 2. sounds EXACTLY like some kind of creepy child from a horror movie when doing so tonight's song is something from veggietales.

7.

Text - DUDE ACTUALLY STANDS HIS GROUND and/or is really fucking high and isn't sure if he's tripping balls or notanyway Kat goes up to pay for her burrito and tampons

8.

Text - Kat goes up to pay for her burrito and tampons She realizes the counter presents some- thing of a challenge, and then demon- strates for me on her kitchen table at 4AM during a different july wildfire, exactly how she used the shelves to climb up the counter like one of the boston robotics beasties

9.

Text - dude stares at her for like, five minutes and says. "Register's broke."

10.

Text - "Register's broke." "Oh No!" Says Kat. "Just Take 'em." "Really? I can leave cash-you don't have to give me change I don't want you to get in trouble with your manager." "...Nah." "Oh! OK! Thank you!" “Yeah ok bye."

11.

Text - Shortly after she arrived back at the apartment, she got a text on her phone from the campus security about "A Suspicious Individual" at tle 7-11. It took her FOUR FUCKING YEARS to realize she was the suspicious individual

12.

Text - tienriu Live your best life. Be the cryptid in somebody else's story. Be the reason why there's a guy out there who absolutely believes in the supernatural (and insists they're actually really quite polite). Source: gallusrostromegalus #story time with tumblr 66,597 notes

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