Saturday, July 4, 2020

People That Screwed Themselves Over In Court


Someone on AskReddit got a thread going about various people that were their own worst enemies in court. Some criminally dumb criminals just seem to ask for it. For more absurdity from the courtroom check out these ridiculous overheards during court proceedings.

1.

Text - abunchofsquirrels • 4d Unfortunately my best story for this is from my own client. We had a client who was on the board of directors for a company, and was being sued for allegedly not telling the board something. His part of the case was really only a smaller part of a larger and more complicated case, so while there were a lot of other issues in the case overall, the entire case against him specifically essentially boiled down to whether or not he told the board about X. I and few other

2.

Text - EducatedOwlAthena • 3d Years ago I worked in personal injury, and we had a woman come to us saying that she slipped and fell outside of a nail salon because they hadn't swept up the wet leaves outside the door. So we take the case, and almost immediately we get a call from opposing counsel saying he's going to courier us something important. We open it, pop the disc in the computer, and right there is security cam footage of our client picking up the wet leaves, putting them on the sidewa

3.

Text - quelindolio • 3d I was tangentially involved in a custody dispute. Dad alleged mom was doing all sorts of things and he should have the kid. Dad's attorney grilled mom for about 20 minutes on texts she had sent claiming to sell her prescriptions. She wouldn't admit it. Dad's attorney moved on and eventually ended with, "One more question. Where did you get the pills you were selling." Mom responds without thinking, "Oh my doctor prescribed them." Reply 1 1.8k ...

4.

Text - devinple • 3d Had a bylaw officer harass me almost constantly for 8- months for violating a by-law: I had parked my motorcycle in my driveway. He ordered me to remove it, and tried to levy fines for the violation. He went after my landlord and tried to get me evicted. Eventually, I got a lawyer and filed a complaint. When asked to point to the bylaw I was breaking, he did and even read it out, which basically read: No parking or storing anything in a driveway other than an automobile. He

5.

Text - McCarty898 • 3d My father as a young lawyer was trying to get a case to take place in one state and not another because the insurance laws were more favorable in state A. The company he was in litigation with wanted it in state B for that reason, and claimed they only distributed in state A but had no locations in it and should not have to go to court in state A. Well this company was a soda company and my dad has a major diet soda addiction, he goes through at least a 12 pack a day. So t

6.

Text - throwRA1a2b3c4d1 • 4d When my client filed a restraining order against his ex and then asked me to leverage the restraining order just so he could get back with her. In our state, if you do this, you'll have to pay the other persons attorneys fees. Reply 552 ...

7.

Text - Not a lawyer but this story still applies. My parents have a jewelry store and the landlord was trying to extort them to sign a lease for nearly double what it was appraised for. Problem was, the lease they signed and the landlord signed said when they renewed the lease both parties were to get their own appraiser then meet in the middle of what the two prices were. Landlord didn't like what his appraiser said so he refused to tell my parents what the appraisal was. So for two years he se

8.

Text - ELAKSAVKD • 3d My phone rang in court and forgot to put it on silent. The ringtone was the mortal kombat theme song. Reply 1 587 ...

9.

Text - MisterMarcus • 3d A law professor once told me about a case from decades ago when he was defending a young woman on drugs charges. In court, his line of defence was basically to tell the truth: this woman had turned to drugs due to trauma and instability in her life, but she was now in a steady loving relationship with another woman. For the first time, she had some peace and security in her life, genuinely working on overcoming her demons, and was unlikely to re-offend again. was It was

10.

Text - BatFake • 3d Not a lawyer, but my cousin is. He had a deposition via Zoom during this pandemic, and the Plaintiff's counsel shared his screen to present an exhibit. My cousin notices a tab on the guys internet browser, showing that he was trying to look at my cousins Facebook profile (which is set to private). Deposition ends and he says "So! Once last question. Do you like my profile picture?" Plaintiff's counsel immediately hung up the call. Maybe not the biggest fuck up, but gotta be p

11.

Text - Belgian_friet • 3d Not a lawyer, but a law student. This was in a case that my professor showed us in class. Some guy was accused of something, I cannot remember what, but the judge spoke him free because there wasn't enough evidence he had done it. Guy said "thank you judge, l'll never do it again". DA appealed and got him convicted Reply 681 ...

12.

Text - Not a lawyer, recent law school grad studying for the bar. This happened summer after my first year of law school, I was making a court appearance as a student attorney (basically, a rule in my state that lets students practice under attorney supervision). I was working with the public defender's office, representing a client at a first appearance on a probation violation/bail hearing. On a probation violation, the judge is allowed to hold a defendant without bail (keep them in jail until

13.

Text - I once had an idiot client who put out a public statement announcing that a subordinate had resigned. Then the subordinate announced that he had not resigned, and furthermore, had no intention of resigning. Then my idiot client put out an email announcing that he had fired the subordinate. Then I had to advise my idiot client that he didn't have the right to fire the subordinate. Then I had to explain to my idiot client that he couldn't fire the man because he is not my idiot client's sub

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