Thursday, July 9, 2020

Laziest Attempts At Being Helpful People Have Seen


Someone on AskReddit got a thread going about the laziest attempts people have made at being helpful. If you're going to try to help someone out, don't half ass it...go all the way. 

1.

Text - Consideration-Think • 23h I started choking on my water and my grandma handed me a tissue Reply 1 2.6k ...

2.

Text - --nEgativezEro-- • 22h 1 Award It probably wasn't the laziest, but definitely the least helpful. Coming home from a baseball game, an older gentleman was crossing the road in front of our car. He looked up in surprise, noticing he was blocking our path. He broke into a jog to get out of the way, but l'm assuming because of his age, he actually moved slower jogging than he was when walking. Right idea, but amusingly unhelpful. Reply 1 3.0k ...

3.

Text - deuteranopia • 23h "K" as a reply to any suggestion. Also, when I tell my Pomeranian to jump into the bed and he refuses, so I pick him up to put him in the bed, and he "helps" by jumping the tiniest amount as I lift him. Reply 1.2k ...

4.

Text - Derpy132639 • 22h When that one kid purposely chooses to do the smallest, easiest part of a group project Reply 513

5.

Text - YaDrunkBitch • 21h My SIL saying she's bringing a cheese cake to the party, then showing up two hours late with all the ingredients to make it, and asking if I can make it because she needs a smoke. Reply 616

6.

Text - PM_ME_UR_TESTIMONIES • 1d Sometimes l'll pretend to reach for the "open door" button on the elevator when I have no intention of letting the person in. Reply 1 947 ...

7.

Text - neobahmot • 22h When someone from corporate visits and says "I'm here to help" Reply 154 ...

8.

Text - Koniss • 21h My wife when she ask if I need help and when I say yes she just go somewhere else Reply 284

9.

Text - Frodeliciouz • 18h In Norway we have an expression of giving someone a "bear service" (bjørnetjeneste), which is the act of doing something helpful towards someone but you fuck it up. It stems from a French story (?) about a bear and a dude who are friends. The dude was having a siesta under a tree when a fly sat on his face. The bear, being his helpful good-bear self, picked up a stone to kill the fly. He ended up smashing the dude's face in. Thus, a bear service. Aaaand that doesn't ans

10.

Text - haleysname • 18h Everyday, before he leaves my boss says, "need anything?". Everyday I say, "no, have a good one!" One day, I was emptying the cardboard baler, and once the bale is out, I'm not strong enough to tip it on the handcart. I'm fine once its tipped to bring it out of the store, but I don't weigh enough to tip it. He said, "need anything?". I said, "Can you help me push this onto the wheeler in a sec?" (I was almost done wrapping it with wire) He said, "I gotta pick up the kids.

11.

Text - darkmirror29 • 20h Someone coming to to ask how they can help AFTER I have already 1. Cleaned the house 2. Cooked a several course dinner 3. Baked dessert 4. Cleaned the dishes (I hate eating dinner knowing I have a sink full of dirty dishes) 5. Wrapped the birthday gift 6. Set the table. The last step is to round everyone up and tell them dinner is ready and to come grab a seat...I did steps 1-6, I think I can manage that last step solo too! Reply 115 ...

12.

Text - Yee_yee_hairline • 22h You missed a spot. Or teachers just telling you what you did wrong and not helping you correct it Reply 285

13.

Text - BooksRock • 23h changing their profile pic Reply 443 ...

14.

Text - NiceGabby • 1d I drank beers and stood on boards to "hold them steady" while my bf cut them to length. Reply 314 ...

15.

Text - El-Ahrairah9519 • 21h When people push their shopping carts to the cart return, but just kind of half-assedly push them in a big cluster instead of stacking them properly, so eventually there's a haphazard flock of unsecured carts taking up half the lane and the adjacent spaces Reply 118 ...

16.

Text - ImHyperfocused • 22h Barking at somebody with ADHD to "Focus!" and getting angry when they're not immediately cured of their disorder. Reply 209

17.

Text - mukenwalla • 20h When something is spilled and someone says "get a towel" why don't you get a towel. Reply 1 70 ...

18.

Text - ItchyNarwhal • 21h Changing the trash bag, but leaving the old trash bag there, then continue to put more trash in the old trash bag instead of the new one to "fully use it." Reply 29

19.

Text - Night_Talks • 23h When you're moving into a new flat and a neighbour says hi and watches you bring in most of your boxes/ belongings then asks if you're nearly done (this avoiding having to actually carry anything) Reply 31 ...

20.

Text - archived_idli • 20h When you drop an item like a pen/pencil, and the other person simply nudges it towards you. Reply 5

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