Saturday, June 27, 2020

Groom Says Fiancé Can Only Buy Wedding Dress If He Can Splurge Too


This groom pitched a fit about his fiancé wanting to get a wedding dress that was $350. My dude, this is a wedding that we're talking about. If you and your fiancé truly had enough in savings to make a comment about just how much you have in savings, then maybe it's best to not worry about your fiancé wanting to get what sounds like a very reasonable wedding dress. The people in the comments section of this particular aita seem to agree. 

1.

Text - Text - AITA for telling my fiancé she can only buy a wedding dress if I get to spend the same amount Asshole My fiancée and I are getting married in October and I couldn't be more excited. Currently she's unemployed because her job permanently shut down due to the lockdown so the income comes from me and her unemployment. I make good money so I don't care if she gets another job, I can support us. Money is a little tight lately because we very suddenly had to buy a new car. We haven't rea

2.

Text - Text - Last night my fiancée came into our bathroom while I was shaving and looked a little nervous. She asked if she could buy a $350 wedding dress that she's been looking at for months. I kind of looked at her and asked where the $350 would come from. She said we had a lot of money in our savings we hadn't touched, and it would barely make a dent in our savings. I thought about it for a second and told her if she gets to splurge $350 on a dress I get to spend $350 on whatever I want. Sh

3.

Text - Text - When I walked into our bedroom she was under the covers and facing away from me. We haven't talked since. I don't feel like I'm being unreasonable but AITA? Edit: I never really looked at how much dresses are. They really are expensive and that's a shock. We paid our whole wedding and I knew that would be expensive, but since dresses are her thing and l'm not supposed to see them, I never looked. I love my fiancée and I want her to feel beautiful. I feel like a total asshole. I jus

4.

Text - Text - Edit #2: the way we've always done things in our relationship is if I splurge on x amount of money, she gets to as well, we always have, even before she lost her job. So that was my mindset. Which was not the mindset I should have had. Last edit: we've talked about it. I've apologized. We're good. I'm going to put this post to rest because I learned l'm the asshole, but my fiancée wanted to read through it to laugh at me getting my ass virtually handed to me, and also share the dre

5.

Text - Text - SeasonalGreetings • 2d 1 Award YTA 100% man. Come on now. Not for the reason you might think either. A wedding dress being $350 is actually cheap, yes you can find cheaper ones out there but those are almost always lower quality and not a good idea, this is a once in a lifetime thing (hopefully) and you're paying to insure there aren't wardrobe malfunctions, last minute issues, the scene in the moment. Idk how far out your wedding is but when you start really getting down to planni

6.

Text - Text - But anyways that's not even the reason YTA. YTA because it sounds like you don't even know what you want to spend $350 on, you just said "if you get to spend it so do l" which firstly is simply a WTF thing to say. Like honestly I clicked on this and was like is he buying a tux for the wedding? Secondly why would you start this post with explaining that money is right and then throw in for random that she want a $350 dress so now you're going to buy 'whatever I want' in exchange. So

7.

Text - Text - Thirdly the biggest reason YTA: she said she had been looking at this dress for months. She obviously looked around, probably saw prices, saw quality, saw herself on her wedding day when you look at her and tell her she's beautiful. And then you put that image and dream again nothing. You told her she can only spend the money on her dream dress if you go to spend it on whatever you want. You put her feelings down in that moment, you told her months of yearning for that dress was th

8.

Text - Text - Honestly it's petty. If you actually had something in particular you wanted you could have brought that up separately and had that moment been about her. You could have asked if she loved the dress, maybe something to complement her style and saying you couldn't wait to see her in it. Honestly girls can really get their hopes up for stuff like this and a little bit of support from you in this moment very well could have made planning the entire wedding easier. Having that moment be

9.

Text - Text - It stakes you against her. Any relationship, especially that of marriage, should be you and that person against others. Never you against her. I forgot where that quote is from but seriously take that to heart. Actions that make the two of you look like enemies aren't one you ever want to make and once you two start seeing each other as adversaries instead of partners your marriage is over, maybe before it gets the chance to start. You don't have to give in to everything she wants

10.

Text - henchwench89 • 2d • Asshole Aficionado [19] YTA 350 for a wedding dress is nothing. Reply 1 232 ...

11.

Text - Text - lightwoodorchestra • 2d • Professor Emeritass [87] 1 Award 'I make good money so I don't care if she gets another job, I can suppert us hold it over her head that I'm the only earner and deny her an incredibly cheap wedding dress'. FTFY. Presumably you are still planning to spend some money on the wedding, yes? If you need to postpone so you can save money that's one thing. But you're just being a jerk for no reason. Reply 1.9k ...

12.

Text - Text - Teppic5 • 2d • Partassipant [4] YTA. Wedding dresses aren't cheap, and women's clothes in general cost more than men's. But you just said you're happy being the sole breadwinner for the household. You should be discussing expensive purchases related to your wedding, sure, but dictating terms like that is an AH move. Reply 4.8k ...

13.

Text - Text - 2 Awards I'm glad you've realized YTA, but please use this as a learning opportunity moving forward: You were incredible unkind to your fiance because you didn't know how expensive wedding dresses are. If you didn't know about a wedding dress when you're literally planning your wedding, l'd venture to guess you don't know a lot of other things women bave to deal with. And that means you're liable to do stuff like this again. Be aware of your subconscious bias and things where you a

14.

Text - Text - MuchoMangoes • 2d • Asshole Enthusiast [7] YTA. I'm so sad for your fiance right now, I wish I could give her a hug. $350 for a wedding dress is pennies. I bet she spent hours looking for a decent dress that cheap because she knew there was a limited budget. And you still had to shit all over it. Reply 783 ...

15.

Text - Text - coastalshelves • 2d • Asshole Enthusiast [5] YTA. If you're going to keep score like this you have no business getting married. The fact that she was nervous asking you if she was 'allowed' to buy a $350 wedding dress (this is super cheap by the way) says a lot about the way you treat her. In a healthy relationship this shouldn't make anyone nervous. And she was right: you turned it around on her in an extreme show of pettiness. This is awful. Your poor fiancée. You seriously don't

16.

Text - Text - NakedStreets • 2d • Certified Proctologist [24] YTA You couldn't be more excited... but you don't want the bride to have a wedding dress?? And your motivation is... spite? I'm not getting it. It's certainly not frugality, because you're proposing doubling a wedding expense for no reason. $350 is practically the cheapest wedding dress in the history of the world. The fact that she was nervous to bring it up with you shows serious issues in your relationship. If you aren't in premari

17.

Text - Text - tenminutesbeforenoon • 2d • Asshole Aficionado [17] YTA. Were you the type of kid people had to give a present when it was your little brother's birthday, because otherwise you would cry and have a temper tantrum? Because you sure do sound like this. Your future wife is trying to look nice on your special day and 350 dollars is not an outrageous amount of money for a dress. If you find it too expensive, fine, and she can look for something else, but don't play the 'but what about m

18.

Text - talkinglaughing • 1d YTA. If you're so worried about money then why would you want to spend $700 instead of $350? That just makes no sense. It's a power play. Reply 1 81 ...

19.

Text - Text - bluesquish • 2d YTA Major yikes. Things you spend on the wedding are supposed to be important and something you splurge on a little. $350 is beyond inexpensive for a wedding dress. Usually dresses start at $1000 and lots of the ones you see in magazines or online are $5000+ Reply 180 ...

20.

Text - Text - do_mika • 2d • Partassipant [2] YTA, you won't find many wedding dresses in good condition without needing to spend a lot in alterations below that price. It'd be more realistic if you got to spend $350 on something you want for the wedding. Reply 62 ...

21.

Text - MORALVigilance • 2d • Partassipant [1] YTA. If you can't see why, don't get married. It won't last. Reply 132 ...

22.

Text - Text - ClashRunner • 2d YTA. That's a more-than-reasonable price for a wedding dress and your reaction of "what about me, what do I get" is pretty childish. Spend the money gladly and enjoy your wedding day knowing you weren't too stingy for your fiancée to get her dream dress. Reply 96 ...

23.

Text - Text - rs_plays_ac • 2d • Partassipant [2] YTA. Like utterly, completely, and without a doubt. And $350 from a wedding dress is a steal, also what kind of partner considers a dress for their wife to wear at their wedding is self-indulgence? If the budget is too tight then just tell her no? Your way was definitely an asshole move. Reply 27 ...

24.

Text - Text - throwaway37865 • 2d YTA. It's a wedding ffs of course she needs a wedding dress. I'm blatantly surprised by the inherent selfishness to want to deny her something. If something is in my power to give (and isn't a monetary issue which I'm assuming it's not since you want something as well) I will gladly want to give that to someone I care for. I'm honestly disturbed that you denied this especially when she asked in a timid way and that you didn't seem to apologize after making her c

25.

Text - shibattitude • 1d YTA - watch one episode of Say Yes To The Dress and you will be kissing your fiancée's feet and profusely thanking her for picking a $350 dress. Reply 1 23 ...

26.

Text - Text - 1qazOplmgh • 2d • Asshole Aficionado [15] YTA because you didn't say that you wanted to spend the same on your suit which would have been reasonable but you just said that you could just spend the money on anything. The two situations aren't comparable as she needs something to wear for the wedding and for a wedding dress that is cheap Reply 1 20 ...

27.

Text - Text - R3dditNw33p • 1d YTA-A lot of people are hung up on how insanely affordable $350 is and for that reason you're such the unreasonable a-hole. And while they're technically right, the issues are that 1.) this is an extremely important, sentimental garment for what will be likely one of the biggest days of your lives. No, it's not just any old stupid dress you can write off as any old shopping buy. The fact that you are doing so sends a message to your fiancé that your wedding day is

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