Star Trek Memes To Show To The Next Generation

Star Trek is one of those things that will probably be on tv in some form for as long as television continues to exist. We give it maybe 10 to 15 more years. After that we'll either have holodecks of our own, sponsored by Gillet (holograms that feel as real as your shave) OR we'll all have been killed in the Nuclear winter of 2025. Either way we have it on good authority that we won't have to live our lives as we have been, for better or worse. Sometimes you just need a vacation from life. A permanent vacation.

Anyway, while that option isn't on the table, what do we have to escape from our boring lives? We could go backwards into the realm of dungeons and dragons or we could go forward, into space. The final front ear. The kind that sits in between your eyes like a radar dish and lets you hear your neighbors cheating on each other.

Star Trekhas always presented a future not free of conflict, but at least working toward a better universe. And as we lurch ever forward through time, we can really appreciate the fantasy as that future becomes less and less realistic.

Boss Tells Tech Support That They Need to Increase Sales "No Exceptions", So They Sell Everything Possible to Boss' Dad

"Be not afraid of greatness. Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and others have greatness thrust upon them."

― William Shakespeare, Twelfth Night

It's not every day that you get a chance like this thrust upon you. A chance for everything that you have been experiencing to line up perfectly and rhyme with poetic justice. 

Well, u/dodimelodi got exactly that chance when their boss told them that they needed to increase their sales with "No Exceptions". 

u/dodimelodi was working for an internet service provider as tech support when, one day, their boss came in and bizarrely told them that they needed to get their sales figures up. Since u/dodimelodi wasn't even in sales they were beyond confused by this request but when the boss then asked them to help the boss' dad with some tech setup u/dodimelodi saw their chance. 

 

 

 

 

Entitled People Who Made The World Their Big Stupid Oyster

Picture yourself at Thanksgiving dinner. Everyone has had all the turkey, potatoes, green bean casserole and pumpkin pie they wanted. And at the end of the table, there's this guy. You don't know who brought him, and he himself didn't contribute anything. That's fine, you guess. He's a guest and got invited on short notice. But then he says "well it's been great, thanks for having me" and you expect him to offer to help with dishes. But no, he takes out his own Tupperware and he starts packing everything up.

"What are you doing?" you ask, fork in hand, ready for action.

"Well I thanked you, the least you could do is offer me some food."

"What on god's green asscrack do you think a thanks is worth? 14 pounds of smoked Butterball?"

"What's wrong with you? Why are you being such a bad host? I swear to god I'm never coming back here again. And this turkey sucked" he bellows, continuing to load the tumescent carcass into his burping plastic thieves satchel. "Your house is getting a one star review. You've given me a lot to think about while I sit in the Uber. You're getting me an Uber, right?"

Entitled people like this feel too cartoonish to exist. But they're out there. And they are blissfully unaware of the burden they put on others. So... enjoy?

Company Charges Nonsensical Convenience Fee, Customer Makes Things Even Less Convenient

It's surprisingly common for banks, mortgage buyers, and most famously event ticketing companies to charge completely manipulated fees that have no basis in reality. What is a "convenience fee" when bill processing is automated anyway? They say it's for convenience, but in truth it's for their convenience, not yours. And the reason people feel pressured into paying these is because these companies are often so big (plus the fact you own them money in the first place) that they're getting what they want on sheer intimidation. It's robbery, dammit! It's the worst. Some companies will even pretend they didn't receive payments just to tell their own customers they've defaulted.

Because of these predatory business practices, people have to come up with their own solutions to avoid this BS. And when they come up with solutions that inconvenience the party that was trying to be unreasonable in the first place? That's the kind of satisfaction that turns each of our pant legs into eclairs. It provides a roadmap to stand up for ourselves in our own lives. We can each be our own Rocky, and the bank that owns our debt the proverbial Apollo Creed. But just in the first movie. Actually, we take that back. They can be Apollo Creed in the fourth one.

Anyway, it's fun to see people inconvenience the bastards who try to bleed them dry on no other justification that that they have power, money and fear on their side. 

Bride Loses it When Sister Brings Her "Child" to Bride's Childfree Wedding, That Child is 19 Years Old

We're really stretching the limits of what is considered to be a child with this one. As far as I am aware, most parts of the world consider the threshold for "adulthood" to be somewhere around the '18 years of age' mark. Some countries come in even lower than that... with 16 years old being typical in some parts of the world. 

So where in the definition of "child" does 19 years old ever stray onto the rug rat side of that line? Is that idea just borne from the sheer fact that we all have been birthed (at the beginning of all things) and each of us is, in fact, somebody's child? If so, why was anybody able to attend the wedding? Even the bride and groom should have been absent leaving the clones and robot aliens alone to celebrate the couple. 

That entire point aside... Why were the children's names on the invitation if they were not, in fact, invited?

This whole thing is bizarre and reeks of a bridezilla meltdown. She is tiptoeing on the edge of sanity and reason.

_

For more wedding disasters... Check out this collection of stories about the worst things people ever witnessed at weddings.

Absurd Reasons Men Had Their Masculinity Questioned

There's no doubt that there are certain features inextricably linked to being a man. And many of those society fully accepts. Things like enjoying a nice beer, not having a complex skin care routine, and refusing to ask for directions or assistance at the paint store are all things that most men would agree are, for better or worse, right up our alley. Then there's the dudes who take so much pride in their own self conception of manliness that things get a little weird.

There's a type of dude out there who is more than willing to believe that things like wearing a motorcycle helmet, wiping your ass, and greeting people with anything more than a grunt is attack on not only your own masculinity, but theirs by association. But a lot of these are completely arbitrary. And honestly, if you lived by all of these random-ass man codes, you'd smell like garbage, "live" on a diet of Coors light and nails, have three fingers, debilitating skin cancer, and ironically, never get laid. If you tried to live up to every moron's standards of what a man should be, you would die, dude.

So let's abide by one of the manliest codes of all and not care about what other people think.

Puppies or Kidnapped? TikTok of Woman Seeing a Shady Van with "Puppies" Sign Goes Viral

"My heart is telling me yes, my lady bits are telling me it's a trap…"

Competent Guy's Job Usurped By Unsafe Coworker, Lets Him Dig His Own Grave

We've all had jobs where one coworker has been able to simply play the game better. If you're the kind of person who lets their work speak for itself, depending on your field, you might actually be at a disadvantage. Having a coworker who brags about their work, takes too much credit, and does shoddy work that has somehow gotten through can make them look like a superhero even though their MO is cutting corners.

But in some professions, when the ramifications of bad work can be something like the injury or death of another coworker, the destruction of property, and your own public shame, people like this often have the tendency to meet their own professional roadblocks. In this situation, all our protagonist had to do was watch while his coworker made a large and dumb mistake. Luckily it was just small enough to result in some destroyed equipment rather than the actual loss of life or limb.

If you are currently working at a job where you have to do your coworker's or even manager's job for them, we wish you luck. Maybe for some catharsis, enjoy this time a Karen manager tried sabotaging an employee so that employee stopped doing her job for her.

Snooping Mother-In-Law Caught in the Act When She Triggers Hidden Glitter Bomb, Feigns Innocence, Plays Victim

When u/itsbettertobelucky realized that her mother-in-law was snooping she decided to catch her in the act. 

She went upstairs to see what her mother-in-law, who was supposed to just be using the bathroom, was up to and caught her well out of place. The mother-in-law just pretended that she had "gotten lost" upstairs on her way to the bathroom. As if.

When u/itsbettertobelucky approached her husband about it, he just brushed her off saying that she "Just get[s] annoyed at this because everything [the MIL] does drives [her] crazy." So u/itsbettertobelucky realized that she needed some hard evidence if her husband was going to believe her and deal with the issue with his mother.

They had the in-laws over for the holidays. u/itsbettertobelucky had previously attempted, at this point, to catch her mother-in-law in the act by putting glitter on door handles. That proved to not be effective enough. She needed harder evidence to undeniably catch her mother-in-law in the act. To achieve this she rigged an envelope, filled with glitter, over the door to the office. 

Lo and behold... The mother-in-law ends up covered in glitter for being where she's not supposed to. But now the husband and his family are taking the mother-in-law's side. 

u/itsbettertobelucky wants to know... Did she do the right thing? Who is the a**hole here?

25 Chowder Heads Who Seriously Didn't Get Jokes

We are human, so naturally we like jokes. We like obvious jokes, stupid jokes, complex jokes, memes that make almost no sense, absurdist deviations of space and time, fart jokes, creative misspellings, some puns, and people getting kicked in the nuts. Of course it's not uncommon to have to reread something in order to get it. People are anything but transparent, and understanding subtext is a skill that makes, in our opinion, jokes funnier.

But there is a type of person out there who just doesn't get it. Sarcasm leaves them scratching at their own empty heads, the acoustics reverberating like so many an empty dormitory bathroom. Absurdist takes have them angry, wondering "where is the joke?" There is no jokes, that's the joke honey. And it's fine to be confused. But it's the anger that sets them apart.

It's okay to not get a joke. But to be an ass simply because you misread something, or try to repeat the joke back to someone having taken it literally? That's a sign of piquant dumbassery that leaves you a champion of oblivious people who didn't get the joke. Enjoy your crown of non-humor, you dry, dirty sack of used hospital rags.

Dad Forces Teenage Girl to Drive While Crying as "Strategic Trauma" to Teach Her a Life Lesson in Viral TikTok

"Crying and throwing up on the highway while driving perfectly is a resume skill."

Strangers Share Their Dirty, Shameful And Juicy Little Secrets

They say that every lie incurs a debt to the truth, and sooner or later that debt is paid. They also say "what you don't know can't hurt you." It seems like "they" have a really unpredictable attitude toward lies and secrets. Or maybe there's just a figure of speech to explain away any action you want to take at any given time, no matter the consequences.

Sometimes it feels like secrets are the grease that holds society together. If we knew everything about the people around us, we'd either learn to accept each other or we'd just be too disgusted by each other's inner lives to look each other in the eyes every day. It's hard to come to work and sit down next to a coworker for 8 hours knowing that they listen to ska.

So these are the small secrets people keep to themselves. They might be wholesome secrets. They might be company secrets that people can share now that they've left. They might just be petty decisions people made, or irrational and embarrassing choices that people made in the moment and didn't want anyone in their real social circles to find out about. Anyway here are people's dirty little secrets that they decided to share with the world.

Cousin Wants To Do Interpretive Dance At Dad's Funeral, Gets Shot Down

Sure, everyone grieves differently. But it's safe to say that most people wouldn't completely appreciate a full-on casket dance while they are sad. This person was put in the interesting position of having to fight their cousin on their insistence of doing an interpretive dance segment at his own father's funeral. Damn, dude. Get your own dead dad.

The Aunt and cousin didn't take their dismissal lightly but honestly, these things are more about what the deceased would want. And it's extremely safe to say that having a dude dance on his grave might not have its intended impact on the memory of the dearly departed. That thing would be a full-on spectacle, man. They were even planning one recording it. At that point, isn't it sort of obvious that maybe this whole venture isn't right for a funeral?

If, for some reason you want to see people make someone's loss about themselves, here's the shameless unhinged nice guy who decided to shoot his shot at a recent widow. Aren't people so interesting?

Guy Harasses Girl on Tinder With "Negging", Has Brutal and Humiliating Meltdown When Confronted

When u/ivegotafeelingthat opened her Tinder to find these messages waiting for her she had to have known she was in for some trouble. No conversation that starts off with "What's up you snob." is going to end in happily ever after. Hopefully, our boy, Conz, has realized that after this experience. 

u/ivegotafeelingthat immediately calls him on his opening "tactics", replying "I believe this is 'negging' right?". Unfortunately for her, it's definitely not the first time she has seen this tactic. 

'Negging' is, apparently, a method that is used by "pickup artists" in order to emotionally manipulate the target. More on that below. But essentially it's supposed to be used as a sleazy, underhanded tactic into manipulating women into sleeping with you.

Lovely.

Conz then proceeds to have a full-blown meltdown but saves a little face when he actually responds positively to her advice. Hopefully this guy can get the help he needs to approach relationships in a healthy way. It's a brutal and wild dating world out there.

Scammer Tries to Shakedown Guy After Car Accident, Guy Gets Revenge, Scammer Has to Pay

This week on r/ProRevenge, u/bigcapper69 shared a story about a scammer that they encountered that tried to shake them down for cash after a simple fender bender. 

When u/bigcapper69 accidentally ran into someone else's vehicle in a parking lot they immediately apologized profusely and offered to pay for the damages. They describe that the scammer, who they refer to as 'Brent', initially came across as very cool. Brent seemed to be taking everything in stride and was quite happy for u/bigcapper69 to settle up in cash and get the work done at a repair shop that u/bigcapper69 recommended.

When it began to drag out and u/bigcapper69 didn't hear anything from Brent they began to worry. After some time, u/bigcapper69 gave Brent a sizeable lump sum of cash. 

Then Brent disappeared again. The next thing u/bigcapper69 heard was when they got a message from Brent's lawyer claiming that nothing had been paid. 

That's when u/bigcapper69 began their revenge. 

We love to see scammers like Brent getting served. There is nothing better than when karmatic justice plays out before your very eyes. 

Funny Texts That Caught People Off Guard

So what exactly is a para-social relationship?  Urban Dictionary might describe it as a sex move that involves an entire parachute. But really it has to do with convincing yourself that you actually have a personal relationship with a celebrity or bit of mass media that has no idea you exist. Sort of like this interaction right now, but not really. Because that would imply that you actually like us, which is not a terrifically solid claim.

Where this might apply here is that when we read other people's texts, it's extremely easy to put ourselves in the shoes of that person. This is part of what makes these fun. At the same time, it's a mental exercise that takes an interesting foray into how people identify with the very media they are consuming. This is probably completely off base, but it's at least sort of interesting and that's all that matters in this dumb little corner of the internet.

Here are some textual interactions when people either got way too weird or way too dumb. Sometimes we imagine ourselves, the textee, as someone who is the pinnacle of rationality, being bombarded with idiotic nonsense. Other times were are the colloquial doodoo stirrer, cooking up a pot of nonsense for our even dumber friends to sniff. It is what it is.

Pushy Girlfriend Demands First Bites, Guy Resorts To Eating All Fast Food Secretly

It's a seemingly relatable scenario: "Oh, my girlfriend/boyfriend never wants to order their own food and always takes bites of my own." But this time it's different. This girlfriend seems to have a perverse and unyielding interest in the first bite of everything. Honestly, this sounds like something only lions or wolves do, but she is absolutely obsessed with the first bite. It's to the point where if there's already a bite in there, she loses interest.

And not only that, if he brings it up, she gets argumentative! It would be fine if this were something a person did to try to be cute or something, but the fact remains, she is focused like a laser on those first bites. What does it all mean? Is it a show of dominance? A display of privilege? Is it just the allure of perfectly round and soft, unsullied sesame seed buns?

Either way, this guy went to the internet to ask if he was in the wrong for secretly getting food and eating it in his car without her knowledge. It's already an unenviable position to have to snarf your nuggets like a goblin just to not be accosted for "first bites," but the internet brought up some relevant points about the relationship in general. And for some real juicy relationship overstepping, here's the girlfriend who tried to kick out the cat, but got kicked out herself.

Twitter Thread: The Trials And Tribulations Of Getting Into Anime And Manga

It's hard to explain the rise in popularity that manga and anime have seen in the last 20 years. What could be described as "big headed, doe-eyed high schoolers fighting monsters" is not necessarily inaccurate and could be used to describe a pretty fair chunk of a lot of the medium. But hey man, people like it, and if a lot of people like something that usually means there's some value in it. Except for Ska. There's no reason that ska should exist. Just listen to surf rock and call it a day.

Maybe for a lot of us it all started with seeing Goku go Super Saiyan for the first time. Our child eyes didn't know how much we needed to see a golden man scream. For some of us it's all the seductively drawn women that one can fill their life with in lieu of having an actual girlfriend. Not me though, definitely not me.

As this peculiar brand of Japanese animation enters the mainstream, the people who like it are left with the cold realization that they're going to have to explain to their friends why it's a good use of their time to become invested in the fictional lives of pirate kings, teenage bounty hunters, and amnesiacs with lizard heads who kill wizards to find out their past. Seriously, watch Dorohedoro it's weird and amazing.

Alex Blechman explains the struggle.

Viral TikTok Exposes Stalkers Slipping Bluetooth Trackers into Unsuspecting Women's Purses in NYC, Fear Ignites Within the Comments

She received an alert saying a device not registered to her has been following her for hours. 

Absurdly Rude Guests That Made Themselves Far Too Comfortable

We all (mostly) try to be good hosts when we have guests, but sometimes our hospitality can be taken advantage of by guests who seem to forget that they aren't at their own house. This led u/Mr_Yus_uwu to ask the question: "What was the worst thing your guest did when they took "Make yourself at home" very literally?

The results were as surprising as they were unsurprising. That means to say, people can be pretty terrible houseguests in wildly unpredictable ways. It's not unheard of to have a family member overstay their welcome, but when someone says they need to stay for a few weeks and ends up staying for three years, it feels like something that has become an issue. 

We love having our friends over, but one terrific way to get to know a potential friend is whether or not they fill your couch with farts and get barbeque everywhere. That's not to say that a barbeque slopping ass-factory doesn't make a good friend, but it does mean that maybe your "friend that gets indeterminate brown goo" all over the place might better be reserved as an "outside friend."

Manager Stands Up For His Employees, Protects Them From Corporate Poppycock, Gets Fired

u/Durncha posted this story about his experience with a bad employer this week on r/antiwork. 

u/Durncha is a true leader. A true leader stands up for their team. They protect those under them from the baloney of the big boys upstairs. 

 

In an effective organization, they'll act as a translator, a conduit that helps pass information in both directions. And, when pressure pushes downwards, they won't pass it on or let you-know-what flow downwards. They'll act as a barrier and interpret communication to their team in the most effective way. Then, when something needs to be communicated upwards, the same principle applies. 

 

In an ineffective organization, this doesn't happen. Communication flows in one direction and pressure continues pushing down harder and harder on the manager until they either cave and become a "yes man" (-doing whatever they're asked without question). That or they take a stand for their team one too many times and get fired for it.

 

The second option of the second scenario applies in u/Durncha's story. Unfortunately, u/Durncha was pushed out for standing up for their employees one too many times. There's no way their boss just happened to be looking at the store's clock in sheets at that exact moment. The coincidence is too great. They were looking for a reason... no, they had been instructed by their boss to find a reason to fire u/Durncha. 

 

This just happened to be that reason. 

Kudos to u/Durncha for doing the hard yards of standing up for their team. We need more actual leaders like this in the world.

CEO Tells App Development Team to "Go Work Somewhere Else" if They Want to Work From Home, So They Do

The general landscape of the modern work environment necessitates a greater amount of flexibility from employers than it ever has. As u/R_Jay101 puts it in the comments of this post, "The WFH pandora's box has been opened and there is no closing it."

So, when the CEO of u/Icerman's company insisted that the app development team work from the office, without exception, there was bound to be some trouble. He sealed the deal when he had the misfortune of uttering "If you want to work from home, go work somewhere else" which prompted an exodus of developers doing exactly that.

Out of Control Waitress Hits Aggressively on Woman's Husband, Gets Fired, Woman is Blamed

This week u/throwraWaitress109 posted on the /r/AmItheA$$hole subreddit, asking for advice on a situation that had come up with her and her husband after they went to a restaurant for a night out on his birthday.

Throughout the evening, and during the meal, the waitress had been blatantly hitting on her husband. Taking it to levels that made her very uncomfortable.

When asked to stop the waitress just smirked. So u/throwraWaitress109 went home and left a bad review, ultimately leading to the waitress being fired.

Her family thinks she is in the wrong for not just letting it go. What's your take on the situation?

_

For more trouble in marriage paradise... Check out this idiot husband who wanted to cancel a prenup that he insisted on when he discovered his wife was making more than he was!

Freaky Old Religious Albums That Have Less And Less Context Every Day

Times change, but album jackets stay the same. There was an era when what America wanted was dudes in suits singing about God, as well as family bands featuring women with the largest hair that you ever did see. For quit a few of these people it feels like the whole religious aspect was more of a stepping stone to get their ventriloquism careers off the ground, but how can we judge? it's not like you see us putting in the time to learn how to drink a glass of water while making a doll tell people they're going to hell.

People Are Sharing the "Things That We Pretend We Need to Be Addicted to" and I Need to Go Home and Rethink My Life

This week u/Morticiar posed the question on Reddit:

"What is an addiction society pretends is a necessity?"

Annnnnd it's probably time that we, as a society, have a bit of a think about the things that we take for granted that are actually just major addictions of ours.

Entitled Parent Bullies Kids Off Playground, Wonders If They're In The Wrong

The answer is yes. This is one of those interactions that feels like it should have a record scratch moment. One of those brief slices in time where everything stops, you look down at the children who you've made cry for no reason other than your own convenience, and you wonder to yourself, "how did I get here?" That's something a normal person would think. But not this entitled parent. They just went full bore. For another class act, here's the neighbor who couldn't understand why their neighbor wasn't completely silent.

Ohio Turnpike Reveals New Snowplow Names, They Are Perfect

It's something we've known since the cultural tipping point that was the naming of "Boaty McBoatface." While democracy can have its issues when it comes to efficiency in governance, it is absolutely the best method humanity has ever devised for naming infrastructure-maintaining heavy equipment. The results came in and these are the names of the snowplows used by the Ohio Turnpike and Infrastructure Commission.

Tinderella Claims to Love "The Powerpuff Girls", Gets Mad at Extremely Obvious Reference

What is it with dating apps that make people feel the need to fake an entire gosh darn personality? Maybe it's their entire lack of a personality of their own. 

A lot of people are so obsessed with being the hippest, trendiest, and most ironic that they don't even realize that actually having their own personality and being true to themselves would make them infinitely more attractive than whatever hipster aesthetic they're conforming to. 

When u/poonieLord encountered Jennifer on bumble he thought that they were about to hit it off. She messaged him referring to a story he had shared about Batman saying that she"Once had dreams of being a Powerpuff Girl." When u/poonieLord responded with a quote from The Powerpuff Girls intro she immediately took offense to his "pickup line".

Honestly? Sometimes you just can't win. 

 

Choosing Beggar Wants Free Tattoo Since “It’s Just a Hobby”

These kinds of people are the absolute worst. They just find some way to rationalize to themselves in their heads why people (usually artists) should provide their services for free. 

When this woman slid into u/rockpaperpowerfist's DM's she started hitting him up with flattery about his work. Then she immediately segued into asking him to tattoo her for free since his job is "basically just a hobby".

It's hard to imagine that this actually ever works but I'm sure there are some gals out there on Instagram who manage to pull this off. 

System Programmer Gets Written-Up For Using Words His Boss Doesn't Understand

When u/clrlmiller took a stand against his idiot boss she looked for every excuse to take offense to anything that she possibly could. 

She was clearly grasping at straws as she decided that her best play was to accuse u/clrlmiller of "obscene" language over their use of the word "impetus". 

Really, she had just confused impetus with impotent, neither of which is inherently sexual or obscene. Clearly, this bad boss needs to work on her vocabulary. 

For more tech stories check out this tech support guy who had to tell a customer that his computer being literally on fire was not a feature.