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Monday, December 14, 2020

Tumblr Thread: Sesame Street's Forbidden, Nightmarish Crack Monster

We're not sure whether this whole rumor mill about Sesame Street's foreboding and forbidden Crack Monster is actually real or not. Regardless of whether or not this is nothing more than an imaginative work of fiction from some of Tumblr's wandering minds, it's still certainly an intriguing concept. At least we were able to find the infamous video (see end of list). We just wonder if all the other details about the story are true. If you're looking for more entertaining Sesame Street content, check out this post where Tumblr insists that Big Bird isn't an Apex predator.

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Text - wizardOrb Follow thinking about how an anonymous group (WHO DOESN'T SEEM TO BE AFFILIATED W/ SESAME STREET!!) found out where jon armond Ilived and made him swear he wouldn't show anyone cracks before they gave it to him wizardOrb Follow

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Text - giga-mermaid what does this say oh i am SO glad you asked. gimme a sec

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Text - wizardOrb Follow Ok SO. This guy (Jon Armond) claimed to have seen a Sesame Street short as a kid where the cracks in a girl's wall come to life. One of these cracks is referred to as the "Crack Monster", which was apparently so unsettling that it "scarred him for life". After all was said and done, Jon would end up spending about THIRTY FUCKING YEARS looking for the short. THIRTY. He considered it his life's work. Listen. I can appreciate that level of dedication to recovering a lost pie

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Text - Anyway, he posted about it online, where many other people reported seeing it as well. The fact that there were multiple accounts of its existence, but little to no information on it anywhere, was what made it start garnering attention on the internet. Now a bunch of people are looking for it. No one knew for sure what the title was yet, so most referred to it as the "Crack Monster Cartoon", or something similar. The lack of a known title (or music, or voice actors, or writers, or literal

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Text - I'm gonna leave out some details in the middle here, since I don't wanna make this thread too long. But it's super interesting, I'd recommend checking it out for yourself. Let's just skip to the weird part. After years of searching, Armond received a fax to his workplace with an untraceable number. It read: "WE HAVE THE COPY" Additionally, they said they would send him said copy of the short, on one condition: he was to never show it publicly, or post it online in any way. Whoever it was

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Text - So six months pass. Armond gets a letter, which says "WE TRUST THIS COMPLETES YOUR SEARCH" Also enclosed in the envelope is a DVD. To clarify, he received it on a SUNDAY. These people, whoever they are, found out where he WORKED, and then went to the effort of delivering it PERSONALLY on a day where there was NO MAIL, just to send the message THAT THEY KNEW WHERE HE LIVED AS WELL.

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Text - FOR THAT SESAME STREET CARTOON. So now he has it. And he tells people he has it, but that no one else can see it. Which is, of course, INCREDIBLY unsatisfying to the people online who have also been searching for it, right? Enter Dycaite, the founder of the Lost Media Wiki. So Dycaite started looking into it as well. Like I said, I'm skipping a bunch of details in this thread, but long story short he eventually received an anonymous email. The email contained CRACKS.

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Text - There were no instructions telling him not to share it. Dycaite didn't hesitate, which is how we got the version of CRACKS that I linked. With the newfound context provided by the video, it actually makes complete sense that it was only aired a few times. This short was made right before the word "Crack" became widely known as a euphemism for drugs, which is how you get characters like "The Crack Monkey". Sesame Street doesn't want to be associated with that, so they stop airing it right?

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Text - So... that's it right? It SEEMS like it should just be a classic story of formerly lost media, cartoon stops airing, gets lost, people online find it again. We even know WHY it was lost, not because it was "too scary" or whatever, just because it didn't age well. But there's still SO MUCH mystery surrounding CRACKS. The version of CRACKS that Jon Armond received was different from the version Dycaite received. Armond says his version appears to be an actual recording, as it starts with a

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Text - So it can be reasonably assumed that the people who contacted Armond are not affiliated with the person who emailed Dycaite. The person who contacted Dycaite also didn't seem to care if the short was released to the public. Armond still hasn't released his version of the recording to the public, though has apparently shown it to a few people privately. So why all the secrecy? And why was Jon Armond given a copy? Did they simply feel bad for him, or was there something they didn't want him

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Text - oh AND the group who didn't want CRACKS to ever be viewed doesn't actually seem to be affiliated with Sesame Street, since they presumably don't have access to the archives. (otherwise, why not remove the info from the beginning and send that version?) so there's an unofficial Sesame Street Forbidden Knowledge Guild out there i fuckin guess! anyways that's cracks for you (this isn't comprehensive btw, and i may have gotten some stuff wrong. if you wanna know more here's a good video on it

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Text - wizardOrb Follow this is the version of this post w/ the right links btw A omalleymenagerie Follow What even is life? #what the actual fuck 56,925 notes

13. Here's the infamous short by the way.

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Tagged: wtf , tumblr , interesting , Sesame Street , big bird , weird , television

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Ship Captain Disregards Deck Crew's Advice, Loses Bonus, Gets Chewed Out

Man, nothing can bring the blood to a boil quite like having to take orders from a boss that clearly doesn't know what they're doing. In this case, we have a ship captain who sounds like he'd exhausted all of his ability to care about much of anything on the ship. The guy refused to listen to his deck crew's warnings, and ended up living to regret that like none other. Poor guy missed out on a bonus that he'd easily have been rewarded if he'd just slowed down and been a little more openminded.

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Text - r/MaliciousCompliance + Join u/VirtualToddler • 2d 2 e1 3 5 Captain said get all the rust, now the tank has a hole. M On mobile TL/DR at end. A little background first. Before I came to my senses and changed course, I worked as a sailor on a petroleum carrier. One of the many duties a sailor has is keeping the vessel from turning into a large iron ore deposit on the sea floor. To do this, there is a tool called a needle scaler. It's a pneumatic device that consists of a a bunch of 7-12 in

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Text - I worked with a dude, let's call him Joe, that probably ran out of fucks somewhere in the 1970's. He complained constantly and was a real pleasure to work with pain in the ass. The captain we had at the time was also a pleasure to work with pain in the ass who you never wanted to catch you slacking off, as the ass chewing he delivered would make a Marine blush. So we busted ass when he was onboard or he'd make our lives hell. We had hydraulic mooring winches that were welded to the deck p

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Text - The MC. He ordered me and Joe to chip away the rust and then prime and paint at the base of the winches. Joe said the rust is really thick and likely he'd end up breaching the tank. He also pointed out that in two months we'd be in shipyard for a refit and it wouldn't matter if we busted through into the tanks there, so the job should probably wait. So Capt Asshat started cussing us both out, me because I backed up Joe as I felt he had an excellent point and Joe because he's been out of f

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Text - I took the aft most (rearward for you land lubbers) winch while Joe went at the worse one in the middle. He went to town and after only 45 minutes he comes to get me. He'd punched 7 large and 4 small holes into the #4 and #5 cargo tanks (the winch straddled them). Good news was we're were empty and had last carried asphalt, so not much in the way of hazardous gasses. Bad news was we were due to load in 14 hours all the tanks to their max with No. 6 oil, which doesn't like sea water and ha

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Text - All in all, it cost the company about $130000 in lost time and repair charges. They had to pay for another company to take the load, which I don't know the cost of, but my vessels daily rate for the entire shebang was $30k so it was probably around that. Turns out that the company was going to cut the winches off in the next shipyard and replace them with electric models, which would have involved removing the deck plating and adding reinforcement for the heavier units. Captain Asshat kne

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Tagged: ships , FAIL , malicious compliance , cringe , navy , ridiculous , dumb , Reddit , regret

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Tumblr Insists Big Bird Isn't an Apex Predator

Once people realized that Big Bird's foreword facing eyes could indicate that Sesame Street could be his hunting grounds, it created a lot of mixed feelings. These Tumblr users decided to set the story straight on the diet of the giant talking yellow bird puppet. Apparently they wanted to differentiate Big Bird from this foreword-facing eyes freak cave goat.

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Text - iamthekaijuking asked: Is big bird an apex predator bunjywunjy answered not at all as we can tell from his general behavior and repeated comments about how delicious birdseed is, Big Bird is a megafauna herbivore and a keystone of the Sesame Street ecosystem!

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Yellow - Big Bird is too large to be challenged by the predatory muppets, so he can browse where he pleases, and in doing so he opens up spaces and opportunities for the smaller muppets, both predatory and non-predatory alike!

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Text - tallteenturtle Some people might have been confused by the fact that Big Birds eyes are on the front of his head, a trait often seen in predators. But the truth is that with no predators big enough to challenge the Bird it doesn't really matter where his eyes are. Maybe his front facing eyes are an evolutionary holdover from the days when his ancestors had to hunt for their food, who knows, nature is amazing! In any case he is definitely an herbivore now and we can all be thankful for tha

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Tagged: tumblr , lol , ridiculous , Sesame Street , big bird , biology , funny , television

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Imperfect and Frustrating Things To Boil Perfectionist Blood

We're human beings who make bad, convenient decisions and overlook small errors. It's probably best that we learn to overlook small "not my job" moments or annoying little design failures, but some of them are hard to overlook. Even one out-of-place sprinkle can inspire some strong feelings about what should go where. It's not fair.