Saturday, September 26, 2020

Student's Super Smash Bros Business Project Spirals Out Of Control


This student's business project that involved people competing on Super Smash Bros really ended up taking on a life of its own. It escalated to such an extent that they ultimately found themselves being shunned, and suspended from school. Pretty wild that it evolved into a "gambling ring." Whoops. 

1.

Text - TIFU By starting an illegal money laundering and gambling ring at my highschool. This all started when I was in my second last year of highschool, the FU happened towards the end of the semester. Just an FYI, at the time, I never knew that gambling outside of casinos was illegal.

2.

Text - So as an elective, I took a business class where we learn about entrepreneurship, and for the semester's project- create a business plan, product or service, and sell it in the cafeteria all day every thursday until the end of the semester Me, along with my group decided to bring 2 wii consoles, and bring super smash bros to let students play in the cafeteria for $2. All money made would be taken and given to charity of our class' choice.

3.

Text - The day before we got to sell our products in the cafeteria. our school admins gave us a policy that to use the cafeteria, we had to rent it out for $200, which would be deducted from our revenue at the end of the year. If you could not break even, then you yourself had to pay for the use of the caf from your own pocket. All money taken from rent would be taken by the school and used for the athletic and art programs. I thought that it was absolutely scummy to do something like that the d

4.

Text - I proposed to my group that in order to make more money, we should hold tournaments, selling for $4, we'd take half of that money, and put the rest of the money into a pool for the tournament winner to take.

5.

Text - On the first day of selling, we made $160, the game was selling like hotcakes. Unlike other groups, who had to waste money on expenses to sell their products, we were literally running at 0 cost, and were able to sell twice as fast as any group.

6.

Text - Next thursday we implemented a new strategy, since we had 2 wiis, we used one to play regular game matches for $2 to record on our profits (you had to record students ID and signatures each time they bought ur product), and then hold (what I now know as wagering) tournament matches and allow people to bet as much money as they wanted, the winner would get double of what they paid. To get around paying double to tournament winners, we hired this legit pro super smash bros dude, who used a

7.

Text - he'd talk so much trash, and "put in" so much money, that we literally had line ups so that people could play against the champ. To give you an idea of what was happening, someone paid $30 in wager, made his way all the way up to play against the champ, lost, and basically lost $30.

8.

Text - We made so much money that day, we actually split the money between us 4 group members equally to pocket, we still had so much that we spent it on making an actual stand for our station, we bought a whiteboard to display every tournament winner of every tournament played. Everyday people would bring their own remotes to play against this dude, and he'd win almost every time. The games he lost, he'd just double down and win the money back for us. The trade off for the pro was a crowd to pl

9.

Text - With all the extra money we weren't pocketing, I tried to make it look as "money made" for the group, we bought wii skins, and button grips for controllers for students to buy as to make that money look as if it was earned legitimately, I knew that it was somewhat wrong to be laundering money like that, but our group was set on that A+, we were making good money for ourselves, and I'm 99% sure none of us knew that gambling itself was illegal, because none of us spoke up. Our teacher prais

10.

Text - I used all the money we were making to start buying new clothes, shoes, and stuff for myself, so did my group members. Our teacher started getting suspicious of this because (According to her) she was tipped off that we were making much more money then we should be. She questioned where we got the money to buy wii remote skins and button grips, that's when shit really hit the fan.

11.

Text - The head of the business department launched a full on investigation into our group, they found out about our secret wagering matches. They also found out about how we were laundering money to be part of profits in our spreadsheet. A bunch of students came forward tattling on the pro player we basically hired to "fix matches" so that we'd earn more money. I didn't even realize how bad it all sounded until our teacher said all of it out loud. My group was taken to the office and were told

12.

Text - We had in school suspension for 3 days, and were ultimately out-of-school suspended for 3 days. I think the only reason they didn't go farther is because we never admitted to pocketing money that we laundered or the money we pocketed from the wager matches, and since money made off of these factors were never officially documented, they weren't able to really pin evidence on us.

13.

Text - When I got back to school, they cancelled the project altogether, and instead of the project, we had a test in place of it. Everyone in our class was pissed off at us, and the majority of the school pretty much looked down on our group for the remainder of my HS career. I was only remembered as the POS con man who stole money from students for personal gain. Someone even made an IG page w/ the username "futurewhitecollarcriminals", and had my face and everyone involved in the scandal post

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Date Has To Pay For Her Own Food, Flips Out


Talk about some wild and outlandish dating etiquette. Real or not, it's unfortunate to consider the realistic possibility that many human beings have encountered a scenario like this while out navigating the dating world. Some people are in fact out there just looking to get a free meal. 

1.

Text - Hey, wann go out tonight? After what you did last time you expect me to go out with you again? Wow What have i done??9 You made me pay for my own food and drink while you paid only for yours wtf

2.

Text - So? You invited me lol, you are lucky you didn't pay for my food too, plus i got a carbonara and a beer while you got lobster and a €80 wine My food was €17.50 while yours was €110 And you were really expecting me to pay that? I'm a student not your sugar daddy

3.

Text - Wow you are so rude!!!! Il'm never going out with you ever again, if you can't pay for a girl's food then why accepting the invite gentlemen ALWAYS pay for girl's food but i guess you are gay Actually, i am a gentleman that's why i stayed and not left while you were talking about how much you like and that you wanted to make out with him

4.

Text - Hey, wann go out tonight? After what you did last time you expect me to go out with you again? Wow What have i done??9

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Tumblr Has Lawyer-style Debate over Legitimacy of Bread Knife


This Tumblr disagreement over whether or not this bread knife is real became a real debate with counterarguments, claims and diagrams. Frankly at first glance it looks like fake bread, but I guess that's why lawyers exist. For some more lawyer Tumblr stuff, here's a tumblr thread on ridiculous court transcripts. For another argument, here's a tumblr user absolutely schooling another on horses.

1.

Arm - whitebeltwriter: dual-destininies: derples: dual-destininies: tf2-fandomstuck: tiniestshorts: Bread knife The french have grown more powerful. Hold it!

2.

Churro - Look more closely at these photographs, Your Honor. Notice anything strange about the bread?

3.

Text - I didn't either. That's because.. ..no cuts were made there in the first place! The witness forged the photographs to make it look like they had an actual bread knife, when they actually did not!

4.

How, you ask? Look to the second photo. While it is quite obvious that the knife is penetrating the top half of the breadstick, I'm not sure about the bottom half.

5.

Text - Looks pretty flat, doesn't it? The angle of the photo makes it look like the knife is in the witness's breadstick, whilst it is actually behind it. In addition, the cut was actually made after the first photograph and before the second. Continue to the third photograph.

6.

Gesture - It is also taken from a flat angle, as was the second photograph. I'm sure you're finding something missing in this photograph as well, Your Honor. Where is the index finger's fingertip? This illustration explains it all.

7.

Cartoon - While I am... ahem, not the best artist... (Didn't I go to art school?) The index finger is hidden behind the loaf of bread. It is not wrapping around the loaf of bread. This is because.. The witness was making space to put the knife's handle! Objection Are you really that dull, Wright? For a man who majored in art you should be able to recognize a sculpture when you see one.

8.

Bread - as we can see from the photos provided, this is quite obviously plastic. if you look at any photo of real bread it can't attain that level of shininess, and even if it could.

9.

Cuisine

10.

Bread - Tell me, Wright, have you ever seen real bread gleam that much? Don't answer that, I will. Even in this high-resolution photograph with bread that thick, it obviously wouldn't shine on the inside when it isn't buttered. And it isn't too hard to find the item in question with a quick google search.

11.

Font - Google novely trench breed knife Laura 0 Shspng Imagen Vleca New Mar Safedean 20144 Nom Oh, and if you will notice, their hand was covering the seam where the bread was taken apart in the first photo with a simple comparison of the pattern on the bread. It appears your lawyering skills are in much need of some sharpening if you expect to cut me down with that weak objection.

12.

Bread - Edgeworth, you're asking yourself the wrong question. It's not is there bread like that." You should be asking "can there be bread like that?" Sweet bread can be infused with sugar or a syrup, making the outsides shinier- and the insides sweeter. Take a look. Whlekevaso beom

13.

Finger - Furthermore. there are parts of the witness's bread knife that don't just match up with the novelty bread knives you have presented. Take another look. Google navalty tranah braad knifa +Laura 0 Web Shopping Inges Midece News More Soarch took Selebeurs SEOX 144-haycon

14.

Text - Let me point out two things about the novelty knives: one, their markings, and two, the placement of the knife itself. In the novelty knives, the marks are artificial-looking and repeated. That is because they are manufactured. In the witness's photo, the marks are more natural and realistic- because they are, well, real! Furthermore, the blades on the novelty knives are in the middle of the handle. But... look back at the witness's photo. The knife is to the left? Where is the problem, y

15.

Text - But. look back at the witness's photo. The knife is to the left? Where is the problem, you ask? Look at this illustration. Here we have the knife, a piece of bread, and a table. Let's have a go.

16.

Text - I'm sure you see it now, Your Honor. The bread knife cannot actually be used to cut bread efficiently! Even if it was tilted, it would be uncomfortable and unbalanced!

17.

Text - The defense has an explanation for this positioning. The blade is to the left because the witness was holding it behind the piece of bread!

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Dad Jokes That Went Full Dad Joke


Dad jokes are one of those things that many of us have heard, and have a hard time not loving, even when all we want to do is shake our heads and stomp the ground in frustration. For more funny dad jokes, check out these utterly delightful dad jokes.

1.

Text - Will Rodgers @WillamRodgers 3 year old: What's neglect mean? Me: Shhh daddy's playing video games.

2.

Text - Svenn Amish @amishschool Wife said I should talk to the kids about drugs so I told them how faking a back injury would usually get you some Vicodin.

3.

Text - Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien Just taught my kids about taxes by eating 38% of their ice cream.

4.

Text - Simon Holland @simoncholland It's weird how we tell kids not to lie then tell them how good the picture they drew is.

5.

Text - Abe Yospe @Cheeseboy22 A cute thing I tell my kids when we see a dead deer on the side of the road is, "Looks like Santa lost his temper again."

6.

Text - Abe Yospe @Cheeseboy22 I wear a clown mask to sleep just in case one of my kids has a nightmare and comes to sleep in our bed.

7.

Text - Rodney Lacroix @moooo0og35 I'm coaching my son's soccer team because it's important that he knows I'll swear at other kids, too.

8.

Text - Dad and Buried @DadandBuried I'm at my parenting best when randomly yell out "be careful!" every few minutes without looking up from my phone.

9.

Text - Justin Guarini @JustinGuarini Hang on guys, I think my toddler is getting to the good part of his four hour long story and I don't want to miss it

10.

Text - Zack @Mr_Kapowski [kid's party] Me: Can we leave? These things take forever Wife: *harsh whisper* Shut your mouth. Watch our daughter open her presents

11.

Text - Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn [finally gets the car seat installed correctly] Me: Where's the baby? Wife: In college.

12.

Text - mark @TheCatWhisprer After becoming a parent you gradually show up later and later to things until you never see anyone ever again.

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