Thursday, August 27, 2020

Spicy, Strange, And Totally Random Scottish Tweets


Scottish Twitter is our favorite kind of Twitter. We might not be able to understand what these Scots are saying (more than) half the time, but that doesn't mean that it's not fun to read them, and just try to make sense of the madness. Who'd have known that Twitter would've ended up being such a pure reflection of Scottish culture. If you enjoyed these check out more gems from Scottish Twitter over here.

1.

Text - Marc McArdle @marcmcardle1 · 17h An absolute tragedy for the city of Glasgow. We will rebuild. STV News O @STVNews · 20h Umbrellas have been blown over at a beer garden in Glasgow city centre. bit.ly/34J2RGP 758C207AD MINNES CAS SCANIA O 27 27245 4,384 > 49 SEC THE AGGY B/LLY CONIM

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Text - Aaron White @CaptainAsthma I was just thinking how gid our patter is in Scotland, like a bet ye wouldnae get folk in egypt puttin a roadcone oan top eh the sphynx

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Mobile phone case - Boris is a shagger. @Dougmcg1- 2h That's not the English flag ya mad statue fiddling flag shagging fruitloaf A Chris @brown12008 · 16/08/2020 If your proud of england and want it back to how it was retweet GIF 278 74

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Text - Proxy Opinions @ProxySwears Ah luv when ye go tae the safari park an there's a wee pigeon there. He's like "check me, am a wild animal". Naw pal, fuck off back tae Buchanan Street. 10:18 · 23/09/2019 · Twitter for iPhone 2 Retweets 2 Likes

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Text - Leah @leaherin_ literally sums up living in Glasgow, canny press the button when you're standing at the traffic lights for fear everyone is laughing at you for being a shitebag soapy @ghostwurld - 2d i literally get embarrassed doing anything. i wear sunglasses when it's sunny and i'm like this is so humiliating. Show this thread

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Text - Sean McDonald @seanmcdonald01 How can England have 55 million people in it, yet still have absolutely nae patter between them? Makes ye wonder.

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Text - nats. @nataliegaw My grandad was in ggow today & saw a guy walking his dog & was sure he knew him so he said to him "excuse me ur gonna think I'm mad, I definitely know u but I can't think how, I used to live in the west end but now I live in Ayrshire, my names Harry Johnston, do u know whoI am.. 22:29 · 19/08/2020 · Twitter for iPhone 184 Retweets and comments 4,516 Likes nats. @nataliegaw · 18h Replying to @nataliegaw and the guy replied "naw I don't but my names Kevin Bridges, does tha

8.

Text - Christian Wulff @aHellofaBeating Glasgow RamAlbumClub @RamAlbumClub Having a night out in Edinburgh. Tell me where to go

9.

Text - Got asked for ID in the shop earlier. Gave the guy it and he burst out laughing. I went, "Aw my name's a belter eh?" and he goes, "Yer name? I'm talking aboot yer picture, pal!" A very humbling experience. 7:29 PM · Jul 28, 2020 · Twitter for Android

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Text - Joanne @StarraEducation Scottish people love it when upon first meeting, you dazzle them with your best attempt at a Scottish accent. >

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Text - Caz @carricknrm CEK Using my gold trimmer on a boy at work n he goes "wit did ye unlock that after 500 haircuts" genuinely the best bit ae patter l've heard in a while

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Tent - David Adam Wild Camping in Scotland ... 1h. E Don't buy a tent online lol You and 1.9k others 203 comments

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Text - Adam Jardine @adamjardine95 Thats a fuckin Sunday night question if i've ever seen one Adam mate 22:10 Yo yo 22:11 W Am scared dnt do that 22:11 Why is the plural a mouse mice but the plural a house isn't hice 22:11 Get yerself tae fuck 22:11 W Q W ERT YUIO P A S DFG H J KL А Z X C VBN M +

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Text - joe heenan @joeheenan To all the kids in Scotland who didn't get the exam results they wanted. I didn't do well in my exams & now I hang about supermarket carparks looking for trolleys that still have a pound coin in them. Qualifications aren't everything 12:32 · 04 Aug 20 · Twitter for Android 32 Retweets and comments 404 Likes

15.

Text - Jig @JR_1967 "Can't believe my wee girl is in primary 2 now" Awww can ye not, a year after she started primary 1& yer surprised she's moving up a year? Fucking roasters

16.

Text - Tweet The Neddy Scientist @neddyscientist Hunner percent yer Granny's mentally stronger than ye. Gran Up 9:32 · 05 Aug 20 · Twitter for iPhone 1 Retweet and comment 5 Likes

17.

Text - 0OT YER Oot Yer Nut at T * Follow @OotYerNutatT No need to brag mate Sky NEWS CO LIVE BUSHY RUNNER RIO OLYMPICS AARON FARR 11:04D AFTER BEING CAUGHT UP BY A LARGE WAVE AT FISTRAL BEACH ON THE NORTH-WEST RUNNER AARON FARR VIA 9GAG.COM

18.

Text - Sandy Inch @sandyinch1 Was just at the bank na wee old wife says to me "could ye check ma balance son" so a pushed her

19.

Text - GOOKO @LazloMorphine whats the Pink Panther's favourite place in Scotland? Dunoon. Dunoon, Dunoon Dunoon Dunoon Dunoon, Dunoo00oon

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Design Fails that Could've Been Avoided


Work is often annoying, and many of us try to get by with the minimum amount of effort. Usually, that's fine, but sometimes it can backfire in the form of design fails that were someone's one job. Frankly, it's kind of awesome when a logo accidentally looks like a butt so good work everyone, keep it up with the impressively unprofessional "not my job" moments.

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Cheezburger Image 9540988160

2. The teeth!

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Entitled Employee Makes Mistake, Won't Own Up To It


Nothing wastes more time and emotional energy than an entitled and toxic piece of work that refuses to own up to their mistakes. Take this employee; they had quite the fail, and decided they'd approach their mistake with stubborn denial and a whole lot of attitude. Well, that certainly didn't work out for them. 

1.

Text - r/IDOWORKHERELADY + Join u/roktol • 62d 1 I was the Boss's son, had an entitled employee on my crew make a mistake. Super long so apologies Edit: Thanks for gold. No idea what reddit premium even does. But thanks. A little background. My father owns a telecommunications repair company and before that he worked in the industry for years and since I hated daycare I spent every summer helping him and learning to weld, rig cellphone tower antennaes, shit like that. By the time I was 19 and dr

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Text - Well he got a huge contract and hired five brand new guys with myself and another veteran thats been working for him for years as crew leads to run all the repair projects. I end up with this massive dbag who got fired from multiple different physical therapy clinics and is now 40 and unhireable by any other industry, but he has a massive superiority complex cause he has a bachelors and that somehow makes him better than tradesmen. On to the story. Me: Me, CL: The other crew lead, DB: dou

3.

Text - We are on the first site on the first day of a job for a major client taking down old antennaes and putting up new ones. CL and I drive up to the site after morning meetings at the hotel with my dad and the client over Skype and we've brought lunch for everyone. CL realizes that he forgot his hard hat at the hotel and tells me he'll be back in half an hour. No big deal, its a simple job that I've done before with my dad. I drop the sandwiches in the refrigerated server room and go over to

4.

Text - DB: They're fine Me: No they're definitely backwards DB: They're fucking fine. Go the fuck away bootlicker. (Guess that was his derogatory for me being the boss's kid) Me: No, they're backwards and by the time it gets up there the winch is gonna slip and that antenna is gonna drop. Bring it back down and fix it. DB: I don't have to do shit for someone who's half my age and couldn't make it through a year of college. Only reason you're here is you're daddy's kid and can't make it in the re

5.

Text - Right as he finishes the sentence I hear the winch crack so I grab DB and run both of us into the server shelter (smashing all the sandwiches in the process) while the winch flies out of the hitch mount and the antenna drops like a rock onto the truck, carving straight through the cab and into the ground underneath. Me: Ah fuck, so you can't rig right and don't have the common sense to put the pin in to secure the winch to the truck? DB: There's no way that was my fault Me: Not only is it

6.

Text - I spent the rest of the day calling OSHA, my dad, our insurance, and my mother (our accountant) to make sure that all the right reports get filed and our asses are covered on all bases. I'm assuring the other crew guys their paychecks aren't going to be affected and that l'll get them more sandwiches. After the end of day reports are finished my dad calls me up and tells me to fire DB for negligence. So I go up to him. Me: Hey. You're being let go. Sorry, but this incident is just somethi

7.

Text - We drive three hours, interrupt my family's dinner, and then sit there smugly on the couch in my dads home office while he literally screams at this guy about costing him 100OK and maybe a lost contract and basically tells the guy he's filing a civil suit for negligence since I specifically came and told him he was doing something incorrectly. DB: What the fuck does he know. He's just a kid. Dad: I taught him how to rig a winch when he was eight and he did it right. You're a 40 year old m

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