Tuesday, August 11, 2020

"Not My Job" Moments of Advanced Laziness


We live in a society where it's pretty easy to pass the buck, not proofread children's books, and paint traffic lines directly over roadkill. It leads to some impressively unprofessional "not my job" moments. But, y'know, what can you do? Try a little harder? That's out of the question.

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Old Folks Dispense Their Dating Advice


Aileen's giving off those gold digger vibes, for sure! All in all, this is quite the fun collection of dating advice from some old folks that have navigating their own romantic rollercoasters. Maybe there's bits of truth in their jokes. Who knows? 

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Text - Jating Advce Name - Aleen Age-90 Moke has a loaded wallet. Sure he

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Text - Dating Advice Name-Barl Pick Someone, with good out look on ife. a

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Text - Dating Aduce Name - Grahame Age - 86 Find a grl with a good eart

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Text - Dating Advice Nome - David Age. 92 Ask her parents firsć, explain that you would ike to vecome a Couple with their daughter and promise to Yook af ier her.

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Text - Dating Adice Nome -Bergl Age-86 Alwoye reepeciful. Treal them how you woul like to be treated. be

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Text - Dating Advce Nome - Joan Age- 75 Expect your date to be polite to you if" not WALK AWA Y

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Text - Jating Advce Nome -cbyce Age- 88 Yes please / would ike to go on a date.

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Text - Dating Aduce Nome- Tom Age-87 Treat your grl life royaliy like princess. a

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Text - Jating Advce Nome -Marg Age -84 Don't let the bays take adantoge

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Text - Paung Aduce Name-Joan Age-21 Behave yourself

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Text - Dating Advce Name June Age-87 Donit

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Customer Demands Exactly a Pound of Wings, Gets Less Wings


Instead of trusting the staff, this guy decided to be extremely clear about the amount of wings he wanted, and didn't seem to have a very good lock on the concepts of mass and chicken wings. Sometimes ridiculous customer demands can get over the top, and other times a Karen gets defeated with overwhelming kindness.

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Text - Posted by u/advocatus_ebrius_est 20 hours ago Pound of Wings? Ok, you got it. oc S I worked as a cook at a chain restaurant that had a 'wing night' where you could get a pound of wings at a discounted price. We didn't actually weigh the wings, our specs said eight wings to a pound. Four drums and four flats. One night a table comes in and everyone orders a pound of wings. A little while after the wings go out, the server comes back a little flustered and explains there has been a complain

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Text - Apparently, one of the guys at the table complained that it was 'obvious' that he didn't get a pound, because it would be a huge coincidence if everyone's pounds led to the same number of wings on each plate. He insisted that the server go and weigh these (already discounted) wings to make sure he was "getting what he paid for". So we weighted it. Sure enough it was not a pound. It was a pound and a half. We tell the server to bring it out and tell him he's getting more than a pound. She

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Text - So she brings back out his 5 wings and calmly tells the gentleman "here are your wings sir. You were right, there was more than a pound there. So we threw the other ones out. Good catch". When they ordered a second round, he didn't complain that everyone got 8 wings to a "pound".

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Text - PenFifteen1 Score hidden · 19 hours ago That reminds me of the bartender story with the "whiskey neat" which should have been 1.5oz or a shot. The bartender heavy poured (gave him extra for free) and the guy complained saying it looked a little light. Bartender takes out a shot glass, pours the rocks glass into the shot glass spilling the excess on the bar, puts it back into the glass and wipes up the extra. CptHampton Score hidden · 18 hours ago I would get that a lot when I was a barten

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Horrible Sex Advice People Got from School


Sex is a confusing topic for many school districts, teachers, and students, and sometimes folks are taught things that don't end up being exactly correct, or helpful. Sometimes kids ask hilariously awkward sex ed questions, and other times everyone just leaves confused.

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Text - LordofPicklelLand 948 points · 19 hours ago Did anyone else get the tape thing? My teacher took two pieces of duct tape and stuck then to her sleeves. She would then peel them off and re- stick the to her sleeves getting the back side of the tape more linty each time. She said that the pieces of tape were people and every time she put them on her sleeve it represented them having sex with a different person. Eventually when she put them together they didn't stick very well from all shirt

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Text - CrazedWitchDr 472 points · 17 hours ago "Sometimes a boy will be attracted to a boy. This is just an unhealthy phase, and will pass." A text book in Missouri.

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Text - DVMJess 360 points · 16 hours ago Not exactly sex ed, but in the 5th grade, our class was separated into boys and girls and shown VHS tapes about our changing bodies. For the girls, I distinctly remember the tape talking about acne and that guys won't find you attractive if you have pimples. Huge confidence killer later when I ended up getting acne as a teenager.

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Text - GKnives 72 points · 16 hours ago My sex ed teacher strongly implied porn was why Ted bundy murdered people and also pressed the idea that virginity was tied to a woman's value. She didn't say it wasn't the same for guys, but she made several different analogies and the female students in each example were always shown as the ones depreciating and the male students were always shown to have less interest. "girl gives guy a present that has been opened before" "girl offers guy chewed gum" "

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Text - _electa 139 points · 21 hours ago To remember the word Urethra by thinking of Aretha Franklin

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Text - DeliaRayne- 93 points · 17 hours ago Don't have sex! at all! if you have sex you are like a cupcake with all the frosting licked off... and no one wants that yeah it was a hardcore christian school.

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Text - Xianroberts 44 points · 18 hours ago In my sex ed class I dissected a flower. Not sure what that has to do with anything I just remember a lot of talk about the stamen and the pistil.

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Text - the-number-pi 16.7k points · 18 hours ago The STD talk during my middle school's health class comprised of a vague video showing a paint brush dipping into various paints, one after another, until there was a messy smear of colors everywhere. The advice was, verbatim, "Girls, don't let other people's paint get anywhere near you." Art class afterwards was real fun though.

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Text - whatsupitty 15.7k points · 21 hours ago It was unsolicited sex advice from a psych TA. "Don't go into dark alleys because you WILL end up having sex in there." With who? No freakin idea. Maybe the weird alley sex goblins.

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Text - Devo43evo 15.4k points · 21 hours ago Im 24 and when I was a freshman in high school my health teacher legit told us that women could get pregnant by just sleeping naked next to a man. She told us of her best friend who "never had sex, but kissed and hugged a man naked" and got pregnant. I mentioned my age because that kind of bat shit crazy take on sex ed seemed outdated to us and it was relatively recent. It was a public school too btw.

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Text - Richard-Hindquarters 14.4k points · 21 hours ago If you have sex, you will get gonorrhea, and you will die.

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Text - maleorderbride 14.4k points · 20 hours ago "Wrap it twice, just as nice." The condoms rub against one another and have a greater chance of breaking. One is fine. Wewlet 7.1k points · 17 hours ago What you do is you put one on and then ad hot-sauce and then put on the other one. You will notice if one of them breaks

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Text - ImInJeopardy 11.0k points · 21 hours ago I basically had the same sex ed they gave in Mean Girls. The whole "Condoms don't work, pills don't guarantee 100%. So if you have sex, you WILL get pregnant."

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Text - Astramancer_ 9.9k points · 21 hours ago The sex ed I had in school consisted entirely of: A 20 minute video in 3rd or 4th grade that basically amounted to "sometimes you'll "pee" your pants when you're asleep but it's not pee. This is normal" and in "health" class we had a unit on STDS. Not like how to prevent, treat them, but "wow, this sucks, look at all those rashes and hives you can get." So I'd say the worst sex ed advice I received at school was "N/A"

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Text - Mauchit_Ron 5.6k points · 20 hours ago 3 That sex isn't supposed to end until the lady's boobs start whistling.

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Text - sophiasgaler 4.7k points · 22 hours ago Mine was (at an all girls' school): "Every time you have sex with a man, you lose some of your special glue. If you lose all your special glue, no one will want to marry you."

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Text - purpleheadedwarrior 2.5k points · 22 hours ago Go to your room. Iwashomeschooled

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Text - FireMaster2311 2.1k points · 22 hours ago Abstinence is the only way to get to heaven. Unless you are married.

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Text - --AnotherUser-- 1.9k points · 20 hours ago "Men are completely incapable of controlling themselves"

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Text - warrencouk 1.2k points · 22 hours ago I was told that I would die if I got pregnant, as a lesbian I'm not sure I need to worry

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Tagged: Sad , bad , sex , horrible , school , sex ed , advice , funny