Saturday, July 4, 2020

NFL Analyst Fumbles When Asked Unscripted Question


Never forget the time that this NFL analyst proceeded to have a breakdown after being asked a question off the script. 

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Entitled Karen Can't Wait In Line For Two Minutes


Seriously, just a little common social decency can go a long way. 

1.

Text - r/pettyrevenge + Join u/mrbritian • 3h Entitled Karen couldn't wait in line for 2 minutes so I wasted her next 15 The title of this post pretty much covers the whole story but anyway l'll explain the whole situation. The cast Mr Britain: me Mr Britain sr.: My dad and coworker Karen: the entitled bitch who has patience as long as a fishes memory about ten seconds

2.

Text - So for a bit of context I work in a small shop in retail because if this all staff work the shop floor and till area. I was putting out stock as I had been asked to by my manager and my dad was working the till (he's ex RAF and just works a few hours a week to keep himself busy hes also the reason I managed to get the job in the first place). That's when I here the dread noise. Karen: AAAAHHEEM!!!! I continue doing what l'm doing can't leave stock lying in the middle of the floor

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Text - Karen: HEY YOU BOY GET ANOTHER TILL OPEN NOW!!! Mr Britian: ok l'll be down when I finish this can't leave stock in the middle of the floor someone might trip. Karen: I DON'T GIVE A SHIT OPEN A TILL NOW!!! I finish what I'm doing and walk down to the till area and would you believe it the bitch is second in line. Mr Britian: Mr Britain sr do I need to open another till customers are getting impatient Karen: JUST OPEN A FUCKING TILL

4.

Text - Mr Britain sr just shrugs So I did as she asked But I made sure to take as long as possible I scanned things wrong I asked all the questions and I scanned really really slowly in the end the two minute wait she would have had if she'd just stood quietly and waited ended up being 15 minutes it wasn't much but I just wanted to be awkward sorry about formatting I'm on mobile 815 29 1 Share BEST COMMENTS fqge • 3h People like that are the worst. They think employees are just people that can b

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Life Pro Tips That Are Real Life Cheat Codes


Life is a confusing emotional rollercoaster of just trying to avoid fails and mishaps as often as possible. With that being said, why not take some pro tips that might actually help you hit your stride without having to exert too much effort. For instance, the tip about training pets to respond to fire alarms could literally be life saving one day. 

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Text - u/_TuxedoCat_ • 2y A 1 Award LPT : If you are asked to create an account in order to continue browsing a website, hit F12 and click on the dim area, this would select it and you can delete it with DEL key, hit F12 again and resume your browsing. Computers ...

2.

Text - u/rishabhbector • 1y LPT: If you want to learn a new language, figure out the 100 most frequently used words and start with them. Those words make up about 50% of everyday speech, and should be a very solid basis. Miscellaneous

3.

Text - u/z3roTO60 • 13d O O 6 Awards 2019 LPT: if you need somewhere to work/relax with friendly staff, nice AC, plenty of seating, free WiFi, and available all across the US, you're in luck! There are more public libraries in the US than there are Starbucks or McDonalds! And you're under no obligation to buy anything to sit there IFLA Productivity

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Text - u/41sa • 2y LPT: If you are given a prepaid debit card as a gift, save it after you spend the money. You can use it to sign up for free trials online without worry of being scammed. Money & Finance

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Text - u/AweHellYo • 4mo LPT: If there is anyone at your job you don't like, always take special care not to take vacation at the same time as them. Having toxic/stressful people gone from the office is like a mini vacation by itself that you would miss out on if you are gone. Careers & Work

6.

Text - u/swankyjerboa • 1y LPT If you have to make a presentation in front of a group of people volunteer to be the first one up as everyone else will be so nervous about their own presentation that they won't pay attention to yours and will more than likely forget any mistake or stupid thing that you might do. HOW TO "HIDE BAD NEWS IN YOUR PRESENTATION School & College

7.

Text - u/rlc327 • 1y 1 Award LPT: Keep a separate master resume with ALL previous work experience. When sending out a resume for application, duplicate the file and remove anything that may be irrelevant to the position. You never know when some past experience might become relevant again, and you don't want to forget about it. Careers & Work

8.

Text - u/levelonesc • 1mo O 9 11 Awards LPT: Adopt an adult dog from a shelter if you want a companion but don't have time/ patience to train a puppy. They are already potty trained in most cases and love you all the same. Animals & Pets

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Text - u/wreckinitralph • 4mo LPT: When you're sitting at a drive-thru speaker, we can always hear everything - even if you think your interaction is over. Be careful what personal details you reveal to strangers. Social

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Text - u/jade_monkey07 • ly LPT: If you like one song by an artist, but don't dig the rest of their stuff. find out who the producer is and see what other work they've done. The producer can play a big role in how the final song turns out. Arts & Culture

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Text - u/Jajaninetynine • 1y 1 Award LPT: If your fire alarm goes off, call your pets and give them a treat. Eventually they will come when the alarm goes off, saving you from wasting time looking for pets during an evacuation. Animals & Pets

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Text - u/tristan10000 • 1y 1 Award LPT: X percent of Y is equal to Y percent of X. So, if you want to find out what 7% of 50 is, you could instead find out what 50% of 7 is, which is 3.5. This means that 7% of 50 is also equal to 3.5. Miscellaneous

13.

Text - u/uploadking • 1y 1 Award LPT: If you have the unfortunate experience of having to put a pet down, find a vet that will make a house call. Don't let your pet's last moments be somewhere they are afraid of. Animals & Pets

14.

Text - u/Martin_the_Hammer • 1y 1 Award LPT: Whenever you travel abroad bring a new soundtrack for each place you visit, preferably one you have never heard before. In the future, every time you listen to each soundtrack again they will bring you vivid memories of the places you have visited. Traveling

15.

Text - u/MissusMcFeely • 4mo 3 4 Awards LPT: If clothes or towels have a mildew smell, add some plain white vinegar to the washing machine, along with detergent, for the freshest smelling laundry ever. Note: Clothes will NOT smell like vinegar. It is highly diluted as well as going through the rinse cycle. Tried and true. Thanks Grandma! Home & Garden

16.

Text - u/flux_capacitor3 • 1y LPT: when your ISP raises your bill, call in and say “cancel service" to the automated operator. You’ll be sent to their retention team with no waiting on hold. They will usually take $10-20 off your monthly bill for a year. I do this once a year. Money & Finance

17.

Text - u/mellowkey • 11mo 1 Award LPT: When flying, put a tag with your info inside your bag, not just outside. Any tag on the outside can come off. Also, when a bag gets lost, the airline will open it to try to determine who it belongs to. Source: Used to work at Lost Baggage for an airline. Traveling

18.

Text - u/CryptoBasicBrent • 8d § 6 Awards LPT - If you need to wait until your boss is in a good mood to ask for something as simple as time off, you're in a toxic work environment and you need to take steps to exit sooner than later. Careers & Work

19.

Text - u/Professoi Ty 1 Award LPT: Pay Attention to the smell of your home when you come back from a trip - that's what it smells like to guests all the time, you just get used to it. Home & Garden

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Text - u/Swoley_Moley • 2y LPT: If you have a guest bedroom in your home, spend a night in it yourself to be sure there are no annoyances and that it is comfortable Home & Garden

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Text - u/Kadybaby • 10mo LPT: always assume when you're put on hold that the other person can still hear you. Social

22.

Text - u/[deleted] • 6mo S 1 Award LPT: S is the "skip intro" hotkey on Netflix. A christmas gift from our home to yours. Computers

23.

Text - u/freenarative • 2y 1 Award LPT: if an app asks you to rate it click "yes", wait for your app store to start the load then click back. App stores don't state if you share, so apps can't check BUT it stores the cookie and never asks again. Computers

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Text - u/gangbangkang • 11mo 1 Award LPT: When things go bad at a job, good people leave, eventually followed by people who thought they could change things but got buried because too many good people left. Those left are bad people or hostages. The good people are your canary. Careers & Work

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Tumblr Thread: Legal Rules Of Davy Jones' Infamous Curse


This might be one of the best Tumblr threads ever produced. What if he just filled his boots with water. 

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Text - bootslots the funniest thing in the entire pirates of the caribbean series is definitely that one scene in At World's End where they have parlay but davy jones is part of it, and rather than have him stand in the shallows or something they get a big bucket of water and have in stand on it on shore who thought of that idea? who thought "put davy jones in a bucket of water" and had the guts to suggest it aloud? and then who went "hey that sounds like a great idea!" at some point someone tol

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Adaptation - radicaltrains *stands majestically in a bucket*

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Text - amalgarn ok but notice the trail of buckets behind him meaning he walked from the ocean through three other buckets of water before he got into the one hes standing in prokopetz It's even funnier when you consider how he must have figured all this out in the first place. Some folks are asking "well, if he can avoid the no- dry-land curse simply by standing in a bucket, doesn't that ruin his whole motivation?", but he's not on dry land here.

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Text - The parley takes place on a sandbar - which, for the unfamiliar, is a temporary "island" of sand deposited by breaking waves, unconnected with the shore, that spends most of its time submerged, being exposed only at low tide. What Jones is doing here is rules-lawyering his curse. Can you imagine the trial and error he must have gone through in order to determine that this would actually work? "Okay, do islands count as dry land? How about parts of the shore below the high tide mark? Reefs

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Text - stumblngrumbl Pretty sure that this implies that the reverse - a bucket of sand, floating on the water (big bucket with just a bit of sand), would qualify as dry land. That's absurd, so l'm pretty sure that his lawyer pulled a fast one over the curse governor. prokopetz It may be absurd, but the text of the film bears it out. Davy Jones can sense the presence of his heart while it's at sea, but not while it's on land (indeed,

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Text - that's why he buried it on land in the first place: to break his connection with it) - yet placing the heart in a simple jar of dirt conceals it from Jones' awareness just as surely as burial on land does, even if the jar is on a boat at the time. Suitably prepared vessels filled with dirt absolutely count as dry land for the purpose of Jones' curse. silver-tongues-blog Then the reverse should also be true. If he buried it in a jar of water, no matter how far inland it is, he would be abl

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Text - prokopetz Not necessarily. It's traditionally a lot easier to accidentally get whammied by a curse than it is to weasel around it - I figure that's why he's using multiple layers of indirection here. He's forbidden to set foot on dry land, but it's technically not dry land (it's a sandbar, a non-permanent landform exposed only at low tide) and he technically didn't set foot on it (he's standing in a bucket of water). It's entirely possible that either one of those things alone wouldn't ma

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Text - necrotelecomnicon okay but this all raises one further, very important question: if it's specifically "dry land" he's forbidden from, what about wetlands. can Davy Jones fight you in salt marshes? can he throw down in a peat bog?Swamp Battle? musicalhell This is the quality content I come to Tumblr for. memes-and-musicals could he step on land if his shoes are wet?

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Text - e there-was-a-girl No matter how ridiculous PotC gets I will love it. Especially when it results in conversations like this glumshoe What if he crawls around on his hands and knees, with his feet raised slightly into the air? Can he walk on his hands? Can he ride around in a litter or a wheelchair? princedorkface can he be in a wheelbarrow?

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Text - bemusedlybespectacled What if he flies over dry land? Like in a hot air balloon, or in the claws of a giant bird? pantheraj What if he's carried by two swallows using a strand of creeper?

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Text - strikelikeahawk European swallows or African swallows? grednforgesgirl this whole thread reads like a conversation between these two:

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Human - In fact im not entirely sure that it wasn't their idea in the first place

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Bored Hero Compiles Chronological List of Marvel Scenes


For anyone who had a burning desire to watch every recent Marvel movie in complete chronological order, you now have that liberty. One wonders what amazing things could be done with this kind of patience and dedication, but apparently that's too much to ask for. We have this now. People have a lot of time, patience and energy for the MCU, like this tumblr thread about Captain America seeing through Nick Fury's genius, this thread that welcomes the Death Star or this list of Marvel movies ranked by if there are trains in them.

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Text - beautiful internet weirdo @tonygoldmark Well nerds, I fuckin' did it. Took me a global pandemic and a damn quarantine, but I did it. I figured out the precise chronological order of all the MCU movies (so far) BY SCENE. I'm out of my Goddamn mind. You're welcome.

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Text - 1. Prologue of THOR: THE DARK WORLD (stop at 3:45) 2. Flashback sequence of THOR: RAGNAROK (start at 1:19:13, stop at 1:19:54) 3. Second prologue of THOR (start at 3:20, stop at 7:34) 4. First prologue of BLACK PANTHER (stop at 1:43) 5. Flashback scene in CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER (start at 1:32:28, stop at 1:33:17) 6. Most of CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGER (start at 3:38, stop at 1:50:30) 7. Prologue of GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL. 2 (end at 2:47) 8. Most of the prologue of

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Text - 21. Some of the first act of IRON MAN (start at 4:14, stop at 16:25) 22. Prologue of IRON MAN (stop at 3:50) 23. A bit more of IRON MAN (start at 16:25, stop at 22:05) 24. A bit more of the prologue of IRON MAN (start at 3:50, stop at 4:14) 25. Most of IRON MAN (start at 22:05, stop before post-credits scene) 26. First prologue of IRON MAN 2 (stop at 2:39) 27. Post-credits scene of IRON MAN 28. Second prologue of IRON MAN 2 (start at 2:39, stop at 5:00) 29. Opening credits of THE INCREDIB

4.

Text - 41. Last couple scenes of THOR (start at 1:42:15, end at credits) 42. Most of THE INCREDIBLE HULK (start at 3:03, stop at 1:43:27) 43. Last scene of THE INCREDIBLE HULK (start at 1:44:20, stop at credits) 44. Second-to-last scene of THE INCREDIBLE HULK (start at 1:43:27, stop at 1:44:20) 45. Prologue of CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGER (stop at 3:20) 46. Epilogue of CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGER (start at 1:50:30, stop before post-credits scene) 47. Post-credits scene of THOR 48. M

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Text - 61. Most of GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY (start at 3:40) 62. Most of GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL. 2 (start at 2:51, stop at 2:14:00) 63. Final post-credits tag of GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL. 2 (start at 2:14:30) 64. Most of CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER (stop at 1:32:28) 65. Most of the last act of CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER (start at 1:33:17) 66. AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON (stop before post-credits scene) 67. Most of ANT-MAN (start at 2:06, end before second post-credits scene) 6

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Text - 81. First post-credits scene of CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR (start at 2:18:32) 82. Some more of SPIDER-MAN: HOMECOMING (start at 7:48, stop at 9:56) 83. Second post-credits scene of CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR (start at 2:26:26) 84. The end of CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR (start at 2:12:56, stop at 2:18:32) 85. Most of BLACK PANTHER (start at 6:22, stop at 2:00:33) 86. Some of the beginning of DOCTOR STRANGE (start at 4:32, stop at 13:40) 87. Some more of SPIDER-MAN: HOMECOMING (start at 4:05

7.

Text - 101. First act of AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR (end at 42:20) 102. Most of AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR (start at 44:23, stop at 2:16:01) 103. Prologue of AVENGERS: ENDGAME (stop at 1:53) 104. First post-credits scene of ANT-MAN AND THE WASP (start at 1:49:00) 105. Post-credits scene of AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR 106. Last couple minutes of AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR (start at 2:16:01, end before post-credits scene) 107. Second post-credit scene of ANT-MAN AND THE WASP 108. First post-credits scene of CAPTAI

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Tagged: marvel , wtf , movies , lol , order , stupid , win , avengers
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