Saturday, August 17, 2019

Dude's Imaginative Story Brings Horrifying New Meaning to "Endless Shrimp"


horror story about being served endless shrimp

You'll never think of endless shrimp in quite the same way again. It starts out so wholesome, but then it becomes a rollercoaster of shrimp. With your simple wish for endless shrimp, you've doomed your future to one that is truly endless and full of shrimp. Here are some two sentence horror stories for some absurd and succinct spookiness.

Submitted by:

Woman Thinks Mother-In-Law Poisoned Her, Follows Professional Advice And It Backfires


dear prudence, advice column, story of wife whose mother in law is poisoning her

We've seen petty onion-based arguments with mother-in-laws, but this is a whole 'nother level. In this advice column, a woman was suspicious that her mother in law was trying to poison her. Prudence said she should get her husband to switch plates at a family function and see if the mother in law had any objections. The following-up details how he didn't believe her, so she switched the food anyway, and while it was confirmed that the mother-in-law had it out for her, the plan didn't make her husband believe her. If your mother-in-law is crazy enough to be a serial poisoner, maybe you should be wary of your husband as well.

Submitted by:

PETA Places Billboard Near Jimmy's Famous Seafood So They Call Them Out On Twitter


twitter, seafood, social media, funny, spicy, ridiculous

PETA started beef with Jimmy's Famous Seafood when they foolishly decided to put one of their obnoxious billboards next to the restaurant. Jimmy's Famous Seafood called them out on Twitter and glorious obliteration ensued. 

Submitted by:

27 Unfortunate Times Life Made Things Complicated


bad terrible frustrating wtf FAIL disaster accident fire problem broken mistake funny awful stupid - 8977925

Life is big and full of unforseen circumstances, so you're bound to see some unfortunate moments that could've gone better. Whether it's a boat getting grounded, someone dropping their phone from a rollercoaster, or just a bullfrog stealing a cat's dinner, life will serve up every one of us some hard times. Is it cathartic and somewhat entertaining to see what other people have to go through? Kinda, yeah.

Submitted by:

25 Relatable Tweets for Those Tolerating Marital Bliss


marriage jokes wife relationships husband lol tweets dumb funny tweets funny - 8968965

Man, people tweet about marriage a lot. Many people in this world are married, which means tons of people have a lot of the same thoughts and feelings about the blissful institution. Married people, and really anyone in a long term relationship, are likely to relate to the silly and dumb problems these people are putting up with on a daily basis.

Submitted by:

Dad Takes Pro Revenge Revenge On Cheap Contractor Who Ends Up Paying $50K In Court


satisfying revenge awesome dad cheap win - 8968197

Dad took a calm and calculated revenge on a cheap contractor who was trying to pull one over on him and other clients. He pulled off his revenge by putting liens down on different lots that the contractor had expressed interest in. From there the contractor was stonewalled from being able to pick up any more work on the lots, so he sued the dad and his family. Therein lies his biggest mistake. He should've just paid for the repairs that the dad asked him to pay, but instead he ended up losing $50K in court. 

Submitted by:

Twitter User Determines That Toto's "Africa" Is About A Lovesick Werewolf In Africa


Twitter user determines that the real meaning behind Toto's "Africa" song is that it's about a lovesick werewolf.

Just when you thought you'd seen it all, you come across a dedicated Twitter user who is here to unravel the mystery behind Toto's well known, "Africa."

We sincerely hope that everything with the rain and shit works out for the werewolf. 

Submitted by:

Young Woman Makes A Fortune Off Her Cosplays On Instagram


Young woman makes a ton of money off her cosplaying on Instagram.

Brazilian Maria Fernanda, is making bank off her cosplaying efforts on Instagram. She employed her cosplay skills on Instagram to rack up a sizable following, and eventually was able to monetize her account. Apparently Influencer Marketing Hub estimates that each of her posts on Instagram generates anywhere between $782 and $1,213. That ain't too shabby at all for a little work on Instagram posts. 

Submitted by:

Pathological Liar Bridezilla Tries To Get Married In A Month, Berates Maid Of Honor, Has Terrible Wedding


bride FAIL Awkward wedding ridiculous bridezilla funny - 8966917

This pathological liar bridezilla is in a trashy league of her own. The general tl;dr here is that she appoints the sister of her ex to step in as her maid of honor cause the other person falls through and she's "good at planning." From there it's a mess of last minute planning, a terrible bachelorette party at a dirty karaoke bar, and the unfortunate finale of a totally botched wedding day. Sounds like the maid of honor honestly dodged a bullet on this one. 

Submitted by:

13 Frustrating Cheapskates Who Tried Pinching Up People's Dollars


cheapskates, person refusing to pay the price they agreed to and demands money for gas

The world is full of choosing beggars who routinely push the limits of decency to save a few extra bucks. Sometimes it's your cousin's ex-girlfriend who still uses your Netflix account and demands that you pay for it. Sometime's it's a random dude on facebook marketplace who wants your iPhone for free. Cheapskates come from all walks of life, and they're constantly making life more annoying for everyone around them.

Submitted by:

14 Lying Liars Who Got Called Out Online For Telling The World Lies


quit your bullshit, lying, liars, social media, stupid, fail, cringe, awkward

These lying liars shouldn't have even bothered with trying to spread their BS all over the web. You see, we're fortunate enough to have a strong band of truth defending warriors around, ready to unmask all the deception for what it is and expose the truth. In an era dominated by social media it can be hard to pick away at all the lies and get at the nut of what's the actual truth. We're just grateful to see these BS spreading liars called out for all their misleading antics. 

Submitted by:

Girl Accidentally Traumatizes Moth-Phobic Boyfriend By Enclosing Him In Space With Tons Of Butterflies


Girl accidentally traumatizes her ex-boyfriend by taking him on a date that traps him with tons of butterflies.

This girl mistakenly traumatized her now ex-boyfriend by enclosing him in a space with tons of butterflies. The real kicker here is that the poor guy was already deathly afraid of moths. Sounds like things just weren't working out for these two. Can't imagine the look on his face when this happened. 

Submitted by:

Twitter Unleashes Its Inner Evil In The Most Inconvenient Thing They Would Steal From Someone's House


inconvenient burglar

Twitter user @ImNice_LikeRice asked what people would steal if they were a burglar who's main goal is to inconvenience their victims as much as possible. People responded with some pretty diabolical answers. You'd be surprised how easily you could screw someone's whole day up with just one or two missing things.

Submitted by:

30 Couples Who Moved In Together Express What Surprised Them The Most About Living With Females/Males


askreddit, couples, dating, relatable, funny, ridiculous

Couples are sharing what surprised them the most about moving in with their partners (females/males). You haven't lived yet till you've moved in with your girlfriend and discovered a Chewbacca like hair monster in the bottom of your sink. Or how about the million bobby pins that continue surfacing around the place, while you've never seen your girlfriend actually use one. 

Submitted by:

Ex-Girlfriend Shafts Guy Out Of Hundreds, So He Reports Her For Tax Fraud And Leaves Her Liable For Thousands


Guy's girlfriend shafts him out of hundreds so he takes her to court, reports her for tax fraud, and leaves her liable for thousands.

When this guy's ex-girlfriend shafted him out of hundreds of dollars, he ended up going on to report her for tax fraud, and left her liable for thousands more. A revenge well done if we do say so ourselves. 

Submitted by:

Friday, August 16, 2019

Guy Complies with Unfair Printing Fee by Using Every Printer at Once


malicious compliance of printer fees

It's known that everything about college is way too expensive, but charging a fee for a service that no one will fully use is pretty much stealing. It's like if a company offered coupons for free kicks in the crotch. Who's gonna redeem all of them? Anyway this guy decided he wouldn't make the college waste his money, so he wasted it in a way that he at least had control over. People often come up with solutions to problems foisted on them by large institutions, like this guy who was told he had to work on vacation.

Submitted by:

Mom Calls Out Pizzeria Manager For Shaming Her For Breastfeeding


breastfeeding at pizza place story

A very angry mom, Olivia Cook, went on a bit of a Facebook rant about a pizzeria manager that told her to "cover up" while she was breastfeeding her 2-month-old. No mom wants to find herself in a tight spot, getting shamed, for doing something that's actually legal in all 50 states. 

Submitted by:

25 Funny Marriage Tweets That Hit Close to Home


marriage tweets

They talk about "for better and for worse" but they don't really mention the 90% of the time in between where you just do things that are big enough to get on each others nerves but too small to make a deal about. Here are some relatable observations people in long term relationships will feel sum things up pretty well. For more, here are a ton of tweets about marriage that are too real.

Submitted by:

Woman Flirts With Engaged Officer Who Stops To Help Her Change A Flat Tire


"I should probably stop hitting on you, I'm sorry." This comes after he tells her that he's engaged. What a cringeworthy nightmare. 

Submitted by: (via A&E)

Singer's Toupée Gets Blown Clean Off By Stage Effects


It would be embarrassing if this happened in front of one or two people but this guy managed to get his hair blown clean off during a live performance like a goddamn cartoon. Farruko himself, who had previously denied his baldness, addressed the event on Instagram and was apparently a pretty good sport about it.

Submitted by: (via Dialecto Del Flow INC)

20 Twitter Users Share Their Best "Spoiled Kids Complaints"


Twitter users share their best "spoiled kids complaints."

Twitter users are sharing their best "Spoiled Kids Complaints." The resulting tweets are brimming with insufferable levels of obnoxious entitlement. One of these spoiled kids complaints might remind you of a time when you were waiting in a grocery line, and overheard some whiny brat going on about how they were severely disappointed that they didn't get the "rose gold iPhone" instead of the matte black iPhone, for their birthday last week. 

Submitted by:

25 Weird and Dumb Punishments People Received from Their Parents


weird parenting

Parenting is difficult. Parents often don't know what they're doing, so they have to figure it out on the fly. We've all had that moment when your parents find out that you've learned a new swear word, and have to deal with the fallout. Some parents will make you put soap in your mouth. Others will send you to your room. Sometimes they just start swearing too, and that's pretty cool. Often parents try to get creative with their punishments. Some are incredibly effective. Some aren't. Other ones are super creepy and cause lasting psychological damage. Anyway, here are weird punishments.

Submitted by:

20 Honest Advertisements Telling The Truth About Their Products


If advertisements told the truth in 20 images.

These refreshing spins on traditional advertisements, show us what it'd look like if ads actually told the truth about why consumers want their product, or what they can expect from using said products. Sometimes you've had a rough go of it and you just want to eat your feelings away with a pint of Ben & Jerry's; or it's been a booze-soaked night of madness and you wound up at Waffle House at 2am cause you're drunk out of your mind. 

Submitted by:

15 Fun Pics of Zookeepers Imitating The Animals They Care For


imitating animals

Zookeepers have strange and interesting jobs compared to what most of us do all day, so seeing them imitate animals makes us excited but also virulently jealous. Zookeepers at the Minnesota Zoo took photos of themselves as the animals they work with, and it makes us want to look for a job openings at the zoo. Our favorite is the millipede.

Submitted by:

Former Porn Actress Jenni Lee Found Living Homeless In Las Vegas Tunnels


This is just heartbreaking. The underground communities spread throughout Vegas are kind of mind blowing. In this case we see former top porn actress, Jenni Lee (Stephanie Saddora) living underground in tunnels in Las Vegas. 

Submitted by: (via SadHistoryX)

26 People Disclose What The "Black Market" Was In Their School


People on AskReddit disclose what the "black market" was in their school.

People are revealing what the "black market" was when they were in school. We've got stories as confusing as an actual "acorns black market", to the more criminal and sketchy black markets that apparently involved illicit substances. 

Submitted by:

20 Server Memes About the Trials and Tribulations of Working in the Service Industry


work memes

It's always a good time for funny work memes to help you survive this cruel world. Anyone who's waited on a table of bastards who tip nothing has a need for some relatable server memes to help you remember that you're not alone. Hell, if you work retail then here are retail work memes. Whether another Karen is breathing down your neck for you not accepting an expired coupon to a different restaurant, or you've just finished your shift and it's your "Friday," get at them work memes.

Submitted by: