Get out. Just get out. Just leave. Don't say anything at all. You're done here.
Submitted by: (via j.t. gant, iii)
Wednesday, June 12, 2019
A Full Tub Of 30 Shower Thoughts To Deep Soak You With Wisdom
Your Hump Day could use a little wisdom. Open your mind to all the knowledge in this post, and let it wash over you. Dare to be enlightened.
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34 Completely Stupid Reasons Kids Had Meltdowns
You can tell a child all day that holding a cup of water upside down is a bad idea, but they're not gonna believe you until they screw it up for themselves. Sadly, toddlers learn every day that the world doesn't bend to their needs, and with learning comes earth-shattering tantrums. For more of these, here are snaps of kids having total meltdowns over mundane things.
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Hag Of A Stepmom Gives Away Dude's PS4, So He Rents Out Her House
Sounds like this stepmom had it coming when she tossed out the poor kid's PS4. You don't mess with the PS4!
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Shy Deadpan Girl Viciously Defeats Big Loud Guy In NYC Comedy Roast Battle
41 Dad Jokes so Funny They'll Make Your Dad Say "Hi Laughing, I'm Dad"
There's nothing in this world quite like a good Dad joke. The simplicity and elegance of a stupid pun perfectly executed can make you feel like you're in the back seat of a car on your way to soccer practice. In any case, here are several days worth of wonderful puns. For more, here are some of tumblr's most punishingly dad-tastic jokes.
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15 Utter Morons Who Ought to Have Their Own Darwin Awards
Well never understand what makes a person swerve around a railroad barrier to try to beat a train. And while we'll never understand it, we will certainly watch these idiots do exactly that every single time. For more gifs of insane crap, here's some godlike times people defied the odds and stuck the landing.
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VP Of Sales Asks If They're A Jerk For Firing Employee After His Parents Died
The internet offered up their hot takes on whether or not this VP of Sales is in fact the jerk for firing an employee after their parents died; and the verdict is absolutely. I mean, come on, man. Timing is everything with that shit. Sure it's a cold and cruel world, and business is business, but maybe let things drag on a little bit amidst the life-defining, hard news.
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Champion Boxer Surprises Internet Troll Who Says He Could Beat Him Up
15 Excruciating Images That Sum Up The Worst Day Imaginable
Some days the struggle is more real than others. For these poor and exhausted souls, the struggle has never been more present. Sometimes you just wake up and the world decides to hand you a nice, hot steaming sh*t sandwich.
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Disgusting Koala Choking on His Own Mating Call Is Us at the Club
As much as this little guy sounds like someone trying to start up a boat, and a dumb as he sounds when he chokes on himself, and as embarrassed as he looks being laughed at, he still reminds us of ourselves. Soft, horny and terrible.
Submitted by: (via MrFlapsmcgee)
20+ Of The Bitchiest, Most Pretentious Things People Can Have On Their Online Profiles
Consider the following a comprehensive manual on what NOT to leave on your online profile. These people are doing a beautiful job at looking like complete pretentious jerks on their online profiles.
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Florida Burger King Employee Caught On Camera Cleaning Tables With A Mop
THAT'S GROSS🤢😱 - An employee at the Burger King on State Road 13 in Fruit Cove used a dirty mop to clean tables in the restaurant's play area last night. https://t.co/80zyjrqdfv pic.twitter.com/h3VHXAZpL9
— News4JAX (@wjxt4) June 7, 2019
Florida Man Burger King Edition. You would not want to find yourself eating off one of these grimy tables. Maybe just steer clear of Burger Kings in Florida. I mean, if we're aiming for positivity here...at least he was cleaning the tables!
Submitted by: (via @wjxt4)
If We Could Read What Dogs Think In 10+ Hilarious And Adorable Tweets
@dog_feelings never fails to make us sorely wish we could actually read what dogs are thinking. Is it truly that loving, loyal, and painfully wholesome? Would love to be able to peel back the curtain and see what kinds of dreams dogs have as well. What gets them so riled up all the time when they're snoozing.
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Academics Discuss The Made Up Jobs They Use When People Ask What They Do For Work
Political scientist @alixabeth, asked Twitter users what methods they break out when trying to get around telling someone what they do for a living. The resulting answers were wildly creative, and might just end up helping bail you out of that next teeth-grinding situation of painful small talk.
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29 Manipulative and Terrible Products and Ads Designed by the Devil
Companies that use bait-and-switch tactics, ridiculous hidden fees and stupid fine print seem like something of the norm these days. These ones are some of the most unfair and stupid of the bunch. For more deceptive and unfair products, check out these misleading and awful products designed by monsters
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Tagged: bait and switch , bad , terrible , frustrating , product , design , ads , services , food , misleading , awful , stupid , asshole , selling
Dr. Phil Invites Creator Of Bum Fights Onto His Show To Shame Him, But Gets Hilariously Surprised
Very rude and bad parenting of Dr. Phil to talk to his son that way! Creator of "Bum Fights" Ty Beeson, definitely pulled a hot one on Dr. Phil here. What a mess.
Submitted by: (via Ry Tard)
Tuesday, June 11, 2019
Octavia Spencer Shares Story About How She Met Keanu Reeves
10+ Times The Adult Side Of Tumblr Churned Up Comedy Gold
If you're not following the Adult side of Tumblr on social media, you ain't doing it right. These guys regularly share comedy gold. We went ahead and threw together a list of some of our favorite stuff that they've shared more recently. Get ready to laugh your ass off.
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HBO's Chernobyl Vs. Real Life (13 Images)
It's no secret that HBO's Chernobyl has taken the world by storm. It's being hailed as the highest rated TV series of all time on IMDB. No small feat! This gallery compares the show's prominent characters and scenes to their real world counterparts. The results are equally as chilling.
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27 Exhausted Parents Share the Dumbest Reason Their Toddler Threw a Tantrum
Sometimes life is going just fine, you're minding your own business, then a bee decides to land on your hand for a second. You think, "oh holy crap this is totally unacceptable. I must let everyone know about the injustice that bee has done, landing on my hand for a second." So you wail as hard as you can for 3 hours, screaming at the top of your lungs, hitting your head against the wall, because of that awful, awful bee. Anyway, for more irrational tantrums, here are more the dumbest reasons kids had meltdowns.
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Woman On Twitter Shares Horrifying Details Of Her Airbnb
Twitter user @ashleyfryer, shared the gritty details of her sketch Airbnb experience. It sounds like we've got a real-life house of horrors on our hands! Definitely has all the makings of a nice modern horror story. And the setting will just be different Airbnbs.
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Uncle Gets Forced into Showing His Egocentric Brother's Kid Extreme Cartoon Violence
That's kind of what uncles are for, right? When this guy wasn't paying attention to what his own kid was watching, and got a warning from the uncle, he said "just do it" and the rest is history. It's just a shame that the kids got the worst end of the stick here. Here's a link to Scientifically Accurate Barney by the way.
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Tumblr User Ranks Marvel Movies By If There Were Trains In Them
This is the best Marvel review to hit the internet yet. All this Avengers:Endgame hype needed a breath of sweet comedic relief. Thank God for Tumblr.
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Bridezilla Passive Aggressively Shouts Out "Few Friends Who Brought Gifts"
This bride decided to ask the internet whether she was the asshole for calling her friends out for NOT bringing gifts/cards to her wedding reception. Her question's been met with a whole bunch of, "yes, you are in fact the asshole of this situation." The passive aggressive element definitely adds a layer of spiciness to this one too.
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Woman's Ancient Gun Gets Roasted Back into the 1800s
When people on facebook see something stupid, you can bet they're gonna call it out over and over again in every way they can think of. We're pretty sure this is becoming a thing, since a suspiciously similar situation happened when the internet roasted this guy's ridiculously old gun back into the last century.
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Entitled Gossipy Witch Ruins Romantic Relationship, Gets Her Own Miserable Life Ruined
For those out there that don't have the time or energy to read through the whole saga, here's how I'd break it down: OP falls in love with a French teacher in a small town out in the middle of nowhere. Apparently rumors begin circulating that they were dating while he was still in school, which wasn't true. Thing is that he waited till after graduating. From there, they both get fired and start over in California where they raise a family. Years later OP hears about who started the rumors; his jealous druggie friend, Jerry.
OP goes ahead and sends old videos of Jerry doing drugs back in the day, along with his family who occasionally partook. They too proceed to lose everything. A bit of a brutal revenge tale, if it's in fact true. Hard to tell when the writing and storyline is this developed. An enjoyable read either way though!
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