The moral of the story here is that you don't go starting shit with chicks from Boston on fratastic, drunken beaches during Spring Break unless you're ready to eat sand after having your bell brutally rung. Everything about these videos screams chaotic shitshow. Gotta love the ending there when her friend, or more likely -- some random beachcombing vagrant -- tries to rally her with a quick hit of nicotine.
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And just like that we've got our first staggering March Madness upset, as the Wisconsin Badgers knocked out the defending National Champs / #1 Seed, Villanova. Naturally, Nova's loss instantly devastated people near and far.
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Do any of these spontaneous chaotic displays of booze-induced ridiculousness hold a candle to the madness that might've been your St. Patrick's Day last night? Seriously, dude. That was dangerous. A 'holiday' for whatever reason known and praised for offering an excuse to boozehounds near and far to get mindlessly plastered...on a Friday. Anyways. Fair to say these well lit crazies won't be getting the invites back to the next party.
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St. Paddy's day has come and gone, and if social media outlets are any indication; the notorious booze-soaked holiday left many 'a fragile, bleary-eyed violently hungover sweet summer child in its wake. As you prepare yourself to do absolutely nothing with a hearty side of greasy grub, Netflix, and active self-loathing; maybe take comfort in the fact that others out there are struggling even worse than your tired, beaten down soul.
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These are a damn trip. Prepare to question everything you previously took as the truth; or just continually shake your head, and question how someone could let their minds wander so far down the schizoid rabbit hole they lost track of reality altogether. Then again, aren't some of these like kind of surprisingly believable...
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Have you ever wanted to safely stare death in the face and laugh? Now you can.
Sitting atop Mount Langya in Hebei, China, a glass bridge and observation platform allows you to look down at the 1,476 foot drop below. No cables or harnesses necessary, you can get to the top of Langya by cable car and a 40-minute walk. It's that easy for you to risk it all with minimal risk.
However, this is the closest I will ever come to this thing:
Submitted by: (via People's Daily, China)
Happy Saturday! It's dangerous to go alone, take these.
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Japan never ceases to amaze when it comes to where and how you can take a bath. Mere months after the announcement of the Spamusement Park, the amusement park/sauna/peetry dish, comes an intense one up.
The infamous Hakone Kowakien Yunessun, Japan's hot-spring theme park (not to be confused with Beppu City, the spamusment park) is opening a maple-syrup bath in celebration of the 60th anniversary of the Japanese food company Morinaga's pancake mix. I feel like a card would've done the trick. Of course, this is already competing with some of the park's other attractions, which according to Grubstreet includes tubs of green tea, red wine, sake, and ramen. Who wouldn't want to swim in these things?
The response, as you can imagine, ranges from the confused to the enthusiastic.
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Working in the food service industry can be a real treat, as any one who has ever done it for any length of time can tell you. Between dealing with those entitled customers who view you as less than human, coworkers who don't show up for their shift in the middle of rush, and constantly shifting expectations from management, sometimes it's a wonder if you clock out of your shift with any shred of sanity left.
If any of that sounds familiar to you, these memes are right up your alley way.
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Maybe it's the brutal winds or the fact that my car is one solid block of ice I'm going to have to deal with on Saturday, but there's something about this video just makes me happy.
There's really not that much to it. A man dressed as Macho Man Randy Savage jumps off his roof into the snow. He doesn't even really do a good impression — though he has that Macho Man entrance walk down. But there's something about his enthusiasm and willingness to jump in the snow without a shirt on that I find endearing. Oh, well, back to the waking nightmare that is my life.
Submitted by: (via Michael Struckus)
Hey, it's Saturday morning, and what better way to waste the day than spending 10 minutes thinking about your childhood. After all, you can never get your childhood back, so you might as well think about how great it was not having responsibilities and getting to watch Batman nearly kill some dudes.
This should be a nostalgia trip for many of you, a time when they played cartoons on Saturday mornings only because that was the law. Just kidding. It was just because they didn't know that they could advertise effectively to children yet. Yay!
Submitted by: (via ARCH CITY)
Charlie from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia has always had a certain rhythm to the way he talked. Whether he's screaming about "night crawlers" or "milk steak," Charlie work always hits the right beats. I mean, he is the musical genius behind both "Nightman" and "Dayman."
But what this dude did was unreal. He translated every line of Charlie's infamous "Pepe Silvia" to drums, and it works unbelievably well.
Trust me, this won't be like one of Charlie's other musical endeavors:
Submitted by: (via David Dockery)
One of the greatest things that ever happened to the internet happened a little over a decade ago, when an entire community in Mobile, Al was convinced they had a leprechaun running around their town. It's just so great, I don't even know what to do with it.
It's legend has grown in stature of the years, thanks in large part to this police artist sketch:
God, that's great. Jimmy Kimmel paid tribute to the video last night on his show, airing clips from this most special of viral videos. Enjoy the tribute and the original video. Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Submitted by: (via Jimmy Kimmel Live!)
God dammit.
I'm starting to feel a little bad about how often I have to fire up my computer and let you guys know all the ways why electing a reality-TV gameshow host was a bad idea. No, I'm not. He sucks. Well, here's another one.
Despite telling Tucker Carlson that he loves to read, Trump and his White House do not read. That's why they sent out this email earlier today, which links to a friggin' satirical article in the Washington Post.
.@WhiteHouse sent out an email (and still has online) satire article from @petridishes mocking their budget bc nobody read past headline. http://pic.twitter.com/oK2A7bTj9c
— Zach Wahls (@ZachWahls) March 17, 2017
The article entitled "Trump's budget makes perfect sense and will fix America, and I will tell you why" comes from a columnist Alexandra Petri, who writes humor columns for the Post. But, come on, that headline seems like it was written by our president, so you can see why he wanted everyone to see it and, presumably, print it out and hang it on their fridge.
This was in today's email from the White House. So clearly, literally no one read the linked piece by @petridishes, did they? http://pic.twitter.com/1cqoDbqgTg
— Molly Templeton (@mollytempleton) March 17, 2017
Please get it together, Donny. Your finger is on the button.
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Look closely and you'll see the pained eyes of a young lad who just had his dignity demolished, ego eradicated, and manhood quite literally assailed. The fact that this interaction takes place on live TV, no less, is beyond comprehension. Are the Aussies hurting that bad for new show ideas? I mean for real. What the f*ck are they smoking down unda, and can I have some?
Submitted by: (via Seven News)
Donald Trump's kept it pretty low key on Twitter in recent days. That didn't stop him from penning a little St. Paddy's Day sentiment though. If only he'd spellchecked before sending it off though. Then again, would we expect anything less than this from the guy with a wide-reaching, well-developed reputation already for spelling shit in his own language incorrectly?
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If you're like me, then Don Mattingly is best known as that player who refused to shave his sideburns on that episode of The Simpsons. If you're not like me, you know him as one of the best ballplayers of all time.
via Frinkiac
During his 12 year run in the majors, he won nine Golden Gloves, was an American League batting champion and RBI leader. He was pretty great. Now, well, he's doing one better. He's getting a cinder block smashed on his chest as the manager for the Miami Marlins. Oh, hell yeah.
So, that just goes to show you, if you count Donnie out, he's going to do something really, really cool.So... this happened. 👀
— Miami Marlins (@Marlins) March 15, 2017
Thanks to @ClaimTheVictory & Donnie Moore of Radical Reality for stopping by for some fun today! http://pic.twitter.com/c58lap03Jr
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In all fairness our freshly dumped broheme of the hour invited this unforgiving, though definitely hilarious, onslaught of video game-themed puns from his 'buddies' on himself. Buckle up and enjoy one highly entertaining group chat.
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It's always fun to be on the receiving end of a wrong text. To this day I have a woman who texts me semi frequently thinking I'm the mother of her son's friend. Last I checked, I don't have any kids, unless I blacked out for the last 12 years of my life and started a family I don't even know about.
Even then, I'd be a hideously hairy and bearded mother.
Anyways, here are some hilarious moments born from the ashes of failure, like some kind of fail phoenix.
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Who says romance is dead?
At a Vancouver Canucks game, a woman proposed to her boyfriend with the key to any man's heart: A bouquet of Doritos.
How did you guys get engaged?
— Vancouver Canucks (@Canucks) March 17, 2017
Oh you know, #Canucks Puck Shuffle proposal! http://pic.twitter.com/3tR7I0mHCv
Did I say key to any man's heart? I meant, key to any man's heart attack.
People are cleaning tears and Doritos dust after this one.
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Remember when the ice luge was one of the most exciting innovations to strike the party scenes where we were all trying to get drunk in new ways as fast as possible? Yeah. Those were the (cleaner) days. Some frat king or blacked out boozehound managed to inspire a new movement recently though: chugging anything within sight through a willing lady's cleavage and/or ass crack. Yep. Had to double take that one myself. You'll have to see these videos to believe it. Does bring to mind though: have you really lived until you've guzzled beer through a pair of boobs?
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Sean Spicer has a lot of fashion problems. From his upside-down flag to that time Trump made fun of his frumpy suit, Defensive Spice is rarely dressed for the occasion even when he is.
Wearing a green tie in celebration of St. Patrick's Day, Sean Spicer spent yesterday afternoon reaffirming the president's debunked claim that Obama wiretapped him. However, as Buzzfeed's Jesse McLaren pointed out, green ties aren't great for camera:
What happens when u wear a green tie on TV 😭 http://pic.twitter.com/gAohulqeck
— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) March 16, 2017
Obviously, everyone loves this because it's perfect. Just kiss the tips great.
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Happy St. Patrick's Day and happy Friday FAILers! Don't let the day get too rowdy and out of hand. Although, it would give us more content to post tomorrow.
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Ah, St. Paddy's Day has finally rolled into booze-ridden, dizzied view yet again. The boozehounds have finally found a decent enough excuse to carpe that diem. Bars near and far offer up questionably generous drinking specials that almost always seem to result in someone (maybe you) stuffing your face full of grease-soaked food with ferocious intensity, after going one too many rounds with that good 'ol pal named Jameson.
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Pretty shitty week for that reality-TV gameshow host who's really struggling to be president right now. His travel ban was blocked because his cronies couldn't stop bragging about how racist it was, his wiretapping claim is bunk, and his budget plan is putting a halt to those pesky Meals on Wheels senior. Wow, pretty dumb stuff to have read or write about the leader of the free world.
Anyway, Seth Meyers is getting us through it because Seth funny. Funny is good. Cutting PBS bad.
Submitted by: (via Late Night with Seth Meyers )
