Sunday, January 22, 2017
Brazilian Vampire Bats Have Started Feeding on Humans and, Well, That Sucks
As if there weren’t enough to worry about this year, vampire bats, the bats with the scariest name in the animal kingdom, have developed a taste for human blood. Yes, human blood. If you’re reading this and are human, that should rock you to your core.
According to a report from New Scientist, researchers in Brazil found traces of human blood in vampire bats’ feces. They report:
“Enrico Bernard from the Federal University of Pernambuco in Recife, Brazil, and his team analysed 70 faeces samples from a colony of hairy-legged vampire bats, D. ecaudata, living in Catimbau National Park in north-east Brazil.
“They found that three samples out of the 15 they managed to get DNA from had traces of blood from humans. ‘We were quite surprised,” says Bernard. “This species isn’t adapted to feed on the blood of mammals.’”
The article goes on to say that vampire bats usually feed on birds, but due to human encroachment, they may have started moving on to most dangerous game… HUMAN.
Well, 2017 is off to a great start.
Submitted by: (via Enrico Bernard - UFPE)
It's Time For Another Round of Roasting
As per usual, these people volunteered themselves to be roasted on /r/roastme, and a roast is exactly what they got.
Here are the best burns from each.
Submitted by:
The Obamas Get a Fantastic Farewell Photoshop Battle
Today the Obamas departed from the Whitehouse as Trump assumed the position on America and was sworn in as President of the United States.
This photo was released showing the now former President and former First-Lady gazing out over the Whitehouse lawn before departing permanently.
In true fashion, the internet realized it was now time for one last photoshop battle.
Submitted by:
29 Images of Petty Office Politics That Will Make You Glad You Don't Work There
I'll bet the people responsible for the petty notes and letters in these photos are just a bundle of joy to work with.
These are the kind of people that make waking up to an alarm clock every morning just to sit in traffic a real joy.
Submitted by:
Watch Comic Book Fans Get Pranked By Friggin’ Captain America
I don’t know if it’s anyone’s dream to have a Captain America doll talk them, but if it is, these lucky fans had their dream come true.
Chris Evans staged a comic book store Escape the Room scenario, where he voiced a Captain America doll and coached some lucky fans into a deadly snake pit and humilate themeselves in front of some complete strangers.
It's a lot of fun.
Submitted by: (via Omaze)
My Dude Thought Things Were Bad When His BMW E36 Was In a Ditch, Then It Got Pulled Out
The Internet would describe it as “When you think you're free, but you crash into a tow truck.”
There’s nothing worse than thinking you’re home free and, suddenly, everything goes wrong again. Like maybe, for an instant, you thought everything was going to be ok, and then, all in an instant, you knew you were just careening toward even more disappointment.
What’s a good metaphor for this? Oh, like imagine you skid into a ditch in your BMW, and when the tow truck finally pulls you out, you crash right into it. Perfect.
Submitted by: (via TheOgrenietis)
Dad Does Delivers Hilarious Commentary Over Daughter's Makeup Tutorial
Makeup tutorials account for approximately 97% of the Internet. The rest is people watching the world's best YouTube video "Drummer at the Wrong Gig" (not up for debate). But for people that don't use makeup or makeup tutorials, getting your feet wet in this world is almost impossible.
However, when Sophie Adler's dadoffered to do some commentary over one of her makeup tutorials, and it is hilarious.
Submitted by: (via Sophie Alder)
Tagged: commentary , dad
Saturday, January 21, 2017
Living Destroyer of Worlds Pulls Off The Most Insane Jenga Move I’ve Ever Seen
Jenga isn’t a game for the faint of heart. Unless you have the stamina, strength, and determination to succeed, you’ll be left dead in a pile of rubble.
If you want to be a champion, you have to take risks.
Jonathan Lopez of San Bernardino, Ca knows this. When he isn’t, presumably, eating planets whole, he plays Jenga, and when he thought the game was over, he made the greatest comeback in Jenga history, pulling to bricks from the bottom of the tower. At. The. Same. Time. Check this out:
via Caters Clips
“I thought the game was basically over so decided to do something stupid but funny,” he said.
“Not too bad for a guy who has only played Jenga about 10 times in his entire life.”
We salute you, dude.
Submitted by: (via Caters Clips)
Yeah, This Lamborghini Has 20 Rubber Chickens Shoved in the Exhausts. What Of It?
Sometimes when you have a car that’s worth more than $150,000, you have to show the world that you don’t give an F about S.
This is even better than one of those screamer mufflers becasue it turns out 20 rubber chickens shoved in a tailpipe sounds like a thousand cats crying for food.
Icing on the cake? This license plate:
Seems like this would be a good time to post this clip from Beverly Hills Cop. Hey, it involves tailpipes.
Submitted by: (via ViralHog)
Kill 49 Minutes By Watching This Dude Give His Cat 11,453 Stern Looks
This pales in comparison to how many stern looks every cat gives their owner, but still, it's something.
A few days ago Gus Johnson, crazy person, uploaded this picture of himself to the me irl subreddit:
People called him crazy — including me, earlier. People called him "a bamboozler." Gus was going to prove the latter wrong.
Gus ended up getting 11,453 up votes and must give his cat, Wendy, 11,453 stern looks, and all that before he gets his wisdom teeth taken out later that day. Sounds like a solid 24 hours.
Feel free to jump around a bit, especially when he loses the cat around 10,850. Considering how red his face gets, it looks like Gus should’ve stretched before starting this thing.
“Stay unbamboozled.”
Submitted by: (via Gus Johnson)
Man Doesn’t Know How to Use Ladder — Need I Say More?
I don’t know what you really want from me, typing out this article about a man who has clearly never used a ladder before. But also, I’m not entirely sure what he’s even doing.
Does he think that the ladder clips on to the ceiling or something? I’m more fascinated than anything.
I also have no idea why the person who uploaded this video gave it such a racist title. That’s probably the stupidest thing on display, the title. But the video of a man not knowing how to use this ladder defies race and sex. All are free to not know how to use a ladder and enjoy people not using said ladder.
Please stop giving your funny videos racist titles. I guess that's what this article is about. Stop being racist.
Submitted by: (via M1ZKA)
Watch This Ungrateful Son Who Just Loves Visual Puns Prank His Unsuspecting Mother
After all your mother’s done for you, this is how you repay her? The woman who cooks for you, cleans for you, puts a roof over your shoulder, makes sure you don’t end up dead in a ditch somewhere, this is how you repay her? By sticking a leek in her sink and screaming “there’s a leak in the sink,” so she frantically searches for water escaping her pipes. The ol' leek in the sink routing? You know how expensive water damage can be. It's not funny. For shame.
Good for this woman for standing up for herself and beating her son with a root vegetable. Ingrate.
Submitted by: (via Viral Videos)
Watch CBS Fail to Censor the Rock’s People’s Finger
Can you smell what he’s cooking?
Last night at The People’s Choice Awards, Kevin Hart won Favorite Comedic Movie Actor, and during his acceptance speech, he gave his screen partner Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson a low blow.
"Except The Rock, because he hasn’t helped me," said Kevin Hart. "He hasn’t helped me at all. You’ve actually lessened my talent. It went down since you’ve been in my life.”
The Rock was having it, so he showed Hart and the viewers at home the People’s Finger.
He’s great.
Submitted by: (via Mashable)
Little Rascals Recut as Fast and Furious 7 Makes Two Great Movies One Great Movie
The He-Man Woman Haters’ Club is about one thing: Family.
This recut of The Little Rascals movie, using audio from Furious 7 is probably the best thing you'll see today.
You’d never know it, but hearing Vin Diesel, Tyrese, and Jason Statham’s voice come out of Alfafa, Spanky, and Buckwheat is incredible. Not to mention the perfect matching of the soapbox derby with the dubstep of Furious 7.
Ugh. This is perfect. And thank you for not putting Donald Trump (that billionaire, reality-TV gameshow host who won the presidency last yera) in this trailer because he’s 100% in The Little Rascals movie as, get this, the loser rich kid’s father.
Submitted by: (via CineFix)
Forget Dessert These Two Shirtless Titans of Industry Prefer an After-Dinner Tasing
Please, tase me, bro?
Here's an insane video of two bald men playing with a taser. It seems they have finished eating dinner and decided that 10,000 volts of electricity pairs well with chicken, fish, or beef.
Most would settle for a fine after-dinner cocktail or a nice port. These bald men like the smooth body of flavor that comes from the electric shock of a taser. Frankly, I wish I loved anything as much as these two shirtless men love tasing each other.
Submitted by: (via Иван Михайлович)
Watch This Dude Go From Wheelie to Whoopsie in Five Seconds
Wheelies are cool. Full stop.
If you can ride a two wheeler on one wheel for a couple seconds, face it, you’re the bee’s knees. Nothing cooler than you. Slap on them shades and say, “Deal with it.”
But wheelies are hard. Sure, anyone could pop the front wheel of their Mongoose for a second, but it takes a whole other class of person to keep that shit going for a little while.
Check out this dude, who decided to pop a wheelie and ended up with a butt ton of road rash. You gotta start somewhere.
Submitted by: (via ViralHog)
Friday, January 20, 2017
The World is Falling Apart As 7-Eleven Now Sells Breakfast Pizza
How does this not violate international peace treaties?
7-Eleven thinks, for some reason, that they can replace the taquito and Slurpee as the breakfast of choice for 7-Eleveners across the nations. And to begin their own war against their own product, they’re dropping a breakfast atom bomb: A breakfast pizza.
7-Ellllllluuuuuvuuun…
Oh, sorry. I passed out for a second there. I thought maybe I typed 7-Eleven breakfast pizza. Just going to take a quick look at the previous paragraaaaaaaa…
Yup, Passed out again.
7-Eleven is adding breakfast pizza to their stores with such toppings as “smoked bacon, breakfast sausage, hickory-smoked ham, scrambled eggs, cheddar and mozzarella cheese, and peppered cream gravy on top of a flaky biscuit crust,” as well as my throw up. You can get these cheap-o pizza for two-for-$2 or an, gulp, entire pizza for $5.55.
“This is a hearty option for customers craving a warm breakfast in addition to their fresh-brewed cup of coffee on cold mornings,” said Nancy Smith, 7‑Eleven senior vice president of fresh food and proprietary beverages. “And it’s great for sharing at the office giving co-workers another great option from the usual box of great donuts.”
This woman is downright dangerous. Be safe out thereeeeee...
Submitted by: (via 7-Eleven)
Signs of the Times: The Funniest Protest Signs at the Trump Inauguration
Easily the best part of the a good protest, aside from exercising your First Amendment rights, are the funny protest signs. Why, they’re enough to get you through the tough January weather when you’re out there protesting the country’s very first (but probably not last) reality-TV gameshow host president. They do these things in January for a reason, don't they?
Anyway, here are some of the best protest signs we’ve seen so far:
Submitted by:
Inauguration Day Effortlessly Eclipsed By the Sheer Brilliance of George W. Bush Battling a Poncho
Truly the significance of this spontaneous moment is given away in the headline. In such dark and troubling (at least for some folks) times, it lightens the heart to be able to fall back upon the comedic relief of an ex-prez waging war on a seemingly possessed poncho. Thankful for this.
Submitted by:
The Dirty Duchess of Tinder Shares Some of Her More Entertaining Tinder Conversations
What I love most of all when it comes to this particular Tinderer sharing her conversations is the fact that she addressed herself on Imgur as, The Lady Tinderer, which implies some vague sort of posh nobility to an otherwise dirtied and depraved modern day dating process. So big ups. I think. Or maybe she's just pretentious. Anyways, let's enjoy some solid Tinder conversing as portrayed from the lady's perspective.
Submitted by:
Did Anyone Else Just Catch Donald Trump Quote Bane During the Inauguration?
"You think Gold is your ally. I was born in it, moulded by it. "
During his Inauguration speech that reality-TV, gameshow host who is now our president, Donald Trump delivered a speech that sounded a little too familiar.
It sounded familiar because Bane gave a similar speech in 2012's Dark Knight Rises to the fine people of Gotham.
Actually lots of people noticed because they love Batman.
Submitted by:
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)