Video of Man Avoiding Citizenship Question at U.S. Border By Talking About the Bible Goes Viral and Sparks Hilarious Controversy

A better question than 'Are you a citizen?' is 'Are you saved?' This guy gave this technique a whirl, and instead of people getting upset, they're just hilariously impressed. 

Temp Tries to Gatekeep Coworker’s Nationality, Spreads Gossip That He’s Lying About Place of Birth

This troublesome new temp tried to tell her recruiter that he wasn't British enough to claim that Nationality. She further told others that he was lying "for clout". She knew better because she was dating a British fellow and "knew how they act."

That's when u/ArtfulMortician knew that he had to ascend to his final form and personify every British stereotype under the sun.

People will gatekeep anything and everything. Good luck trying to pickup a new hobby or join a new community these days. 

Where there is a thing to be done or a fandom to follow as soon as you sign up you are going to be confronted by the Uber Fan. This Uber Fan has done everything possible to make this fandom or hobby their entire identity and they are determined to keep everyone else out in order to secure the self-perceived fragility of their existence. You being there and new is a threat to them. Where they should be offering support and nurturing their community they, instead, are going to stonewall, gatekeep, and otherwise use their influence to sustain their dominance. 

Doing this on something like someone's own nationality is somehow even more insane. Imagine telling someone that they don't deserve to consider themselves to be a part of their own nationality?

People Share Their Most Controversial Food Opinions

People are fiercely dependent of their food preferences, to the point that they are willing to argue for the torture and imprisonment of people who don't like olives. Even people who seem reasonable on any other subject will look you directly in the eyes and say "mac and cheese is the only good food. It is all that I eat, and all anyone should ever eat. Anyone who doesn't believe that should be put to death." And you go "jeez boss I was just asking if you wanted these reports by tomorrow."

Maybe it's because food is one of those things that seems like a ubiquitous physical reality. We like to imagine that all people are experiencing life in the same way, but lo and behold two people can both try the same soup and have vastly different opinions on it. The politics, costs, and even risks of certain food items have effects on our lives that frankly almost none of us like to admit.

And then there are the mental barriers people put up around food in general. Even today there are people who refuse to admit that lobster is an armored sea bug. Yeah, it's a luxury, but lady, look at all the legs.

So here are some of people's insightful/stupid opinions on food, depending on how much you agree with them. And here are some of the worst foods people have eaten.

Funny Pizza Place Signs That Were Sufficiently Saucy And Cheesy

We like a good sign joke. Maybe it's because we appreciate the effort it takes to pull out 30 foot-tall plastic letters, arrange them in the right order, and spend a half hour with a big long suction-cup pole slapping those bad boys up there. It's an amount of time that truly makes you rethink whether or not your joke is worth it, and these people pushed through to make public their truly dumb pizza thoughts.

It's not exactly fun making pizzas all day, so we're glad that people are making their own fun where they can, to be seen by equally bored passerby's. Sometimes all it takes to turn your day around is knowing that someone else out there feels just as resigned as you, and all they have left is the part of the day when they get to tell people off-color jokes about the new specials.

Our hats are off to the sign people, may you ride into the sunset on your suction-cup pole like a witch on a broomstick.

Here are some more funny sign jokes for people who like their jokes on a literal post.

New Owner Orchestrates Own Obliteration, Fires Employee Who Owns Essential Patents

A new owner stepped in to take over a machine shop and began with the trimming of the fat. The logistical consultant found himself in the crosshairs.

This type of behavior is to be expected these days whenever a new owner steps in to take control of a business. An ever increasing number of these disastrous experiences  seem to involve a rash, relatively inexperienced, individual who thinks that they know better than the staff who are a part of the furniture. 

That may be well and good in some of these failing business that have been mismanaged or are grossly over staffed. 

A great example of this would probably be Peloton (that overpriced indoor bike) which has recently cut 2800 jobs. Quite frankly, I was surprised to find out that they even employed that many people

As the new owner was chopping heads logistical consultant, u/NotLagRange, found his head placed on the chopping block. 

"He did not understand what exactly my job was and thought it was unnecessary. I could tell he was just waiting for my contract negotiation." States u/NotLagRange.

Sure enough, when the time of reckoning came, it became clear just how undervalued u/NotLagRange was. The new owner seemed to be completely unaware of the fact that u/NotLagRange held essential patents to the logistics of the business and the new owner was further belligerent and unwilling to budge on terms.

This would eventually lead to the absolute obliteration of the company and u/NotLagRange's ultimate revenge. 

According to his updates, U/NotLagRange has taken the advice of the commenters and is now seeking to attend the bankruptcy auction for his former company in order to take over their assets and their business. Business which he, conveniently, holds multiple patents to. 

You gotta love it when a plan comes together. 

Woman Catches Lunch Thieving Coworker Red-Handed, Puts Him on Blast in Front of Everyone

Redditor, u/steelsnapdragon, recently started a new job at a small studio. When you start a new job there's always a load of scenarios running through your mind. There's nothing like a completely new environment, set of rules, and set of rules to get the old anxiety running circles.

What do I wear? Will I dress too casually? What about too formally? How should I do my hair? Are piercings ok? What about my new neck tattoo?

There's other little things you still need to learn too that only come with time. Like who has all the good workflow shortcuts and who you should avoid at all costs in the break room to avoid seeing the same baby photographed from different angles for the 100th time (looking at you Kaitlyn.)

The LAST thing you're expecting to have to deal; with at your new gig, pretty much the last thing you'd expect to encounter… Is walking into the break room to find some other cheeky bloke chowing down on your grub.

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Think this is the worst thing a coworker can do? Feel free to share your stories below.

While you're at it, check out this story about a Karen who was adamant that her children were more important than her coworker's personal life. 

Scumbag Tries to Force College Girl to Push Past Him on the Bus, She Does Exactly That

When u/voldenope was taking the bus to her university it was always loaded up with people. She always got on first, because of where she lived along the route, so always ended up in the window seat with someone seated in the aisle seat next to her.

On this particular day, she found herself next to a seedy, unsavory sort of gentleman who appeared to be in his 40s. As soon as he sat down next to her he immediately began encroaching in her space. 

Space encroaching is one thing, but he proceeded to make full contact of his leg against hers. The thought of this makes my skin crawl. I can't imagine making physical contact with a full-blown stranger on public transport and being totally oblivious to that fact. In fact, I would be horrified. 

Once it was her stop to get off she asked if he could please slide out of his seat for a moment so that she could get off.

This is when he revealed his true colors. 

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For more revenge…. Check out this guy who got revenge on his cheating ex.

Nutjob Temp Conspires to Get Guy Fired, He Turns the Tables and Sends Her Packing

When u/ManElegant's office brought in a new temp to cover for an executive assistant who was away on maternity leave, he was certain to be pleasant to her. As u/ManElegant notes in his story, "I'd spoken to her twice maybe three and was incredibly nice; I make it my business to be nice to everyone." 

He was unaware of the fact that this temp, referred to in the story as such, was already conspiring against him. For some unknown reason she had a bone to pick and was determined to build a case against him to get him fired.

What had he done wrong? Who can say. Maybe he reminded her of somebody who had wronged her. Maybe he killed her father during the start of the film and this was her plot for ultimate revenge. 

Usually revenge films don't end like this one though. Because if it was, the "bad guy" would be getting off scot-free as u/ManElegant, through some foresight and sheer luck, manager to turn the tables on this professional victim.

Twitter Users Get Nostalgic Over Sexy Old Ovens

Why do all kitchen appliances have to look like they're from the future? Sure they have a "clean" look about them, but why should a refrigerator be designed to look like it can go fast? It's still a refrigerator.

There was a time when ovens were green and weighed like a thousand pounds. They weren't exactly energy efficient and they were a weird lime/avocado green or tan color. They all had coils that suspiciously matched a scar or two on our siblings, and our childhoods wouldn't be quite the same without them. After a few decades of these, most people figured they should get something shinier, but some still remain. If there's anything that looks like it's cooked some serious grandma meals, this is one of those.

One look at one of these things and it's easy to imagine the thousands of pot roasts that slid in and out of there. The countless fried eggs slopping around in delicious grease. The knives heated up for one reason or another. Cutting cold butter. Sure, that's it.

@Timonthetractor took notice of one of these marvels of many a household, and people of the interwebs chimed in.

Scammer Pretends To Be Hit-And-Run Victim, Gets Found Out

This person was just trying to do the right thing after their car accidentally drifted on ice and tore a nice scratch into a stranger's vehicle. They left a note with their info, but when someone contacted them, it wasn't totally clear if the person was who they claimed to be. After being asked for proof of car ownership, it became obvious that they didn't want to provide a video of themselves unlocking "their own car" and opted to send a few photos. Those photos in question not only ended up being straight off the internet, but also they weren't even photos of the same car. When pressed on this issue, our mysterious stranger chose to double down, like a true moron.

At the end of the day, it really just sucks for the actual owner of the car who will never know that the person who left a scratch was actually willing to pay for it.

For some more tales from the world of dumb scammers, here's the guy who beat a craigslist scammer at their own game as well as another guy who gave a scammer a dose of their own medicine.

Scum Lord Tries Evicting Tenants On False Evidence, They Get Revenge In Court and Paint

It's not like every single landlord is an underhanded, conniving bastard, but there are a striking number of landlords who are. It's an industry based exclusively on getting money from just owning something, so naturally it's going to attract dirt bags like your mom's stall attracts flies.

In this case, we have a landlord who had a grand idea to come up with a bunch of fake reasons to evict their tenants in order to jack up the rent and make off like a bandit. The tenants slowly caught wind of this, the way I caught wind of your mom the other day while walking by the pasture.

The tenants took what liberties and paint they had on hand to make the transition as inconvenient as possible. Think of it as returning the favor to the type of gentleman who thought nothing of making people homeless for no purpose other than their own greed. And in the end, this landlord was left with a big long face that looks strikingly like your mom.

For another tale of petty landlord revenge, here's the landlord who tried to keep a security deposit and petty revenge ensued.

"You Had One Job" Moments That People Neatly Screwed Up

Jean-Luc Picard said "It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness. That is life". And that quote is completely not applicable here because these people straight up did it wrong. Sure, it's possible to still screw up when you do things right. But when you do things wrong? That makes your own failure almost a statistical certainty.

We've all done things the wrong way from time-to-time. It's usually a product of having neither the time, tools, nor experience to do something correctly. But sometimes we just mess things up because we don't care about doing them right. Sure that's fine for small moments in your life like putting an Ikea table together. But when it comes to painting lines in the road or offering retinal exams? Then it's time to focus and not succumb to "not my job" moments.

So congrats everyone, and shame on us all.

Disney Mom Freaks Out When Her Daughter Gets Non-Disney Toy She Wants

There is a growing breed of adults that have what could be referred to as "an unhealthy obsession with Disney." These Disney adults are, of course, allowed to do what they want with their money and time. They are free to spend thousands of dollars at Disney Land, choose to only wear Disney-themed clothes, and name their kids Mickey and Donald. And in turn, we, the general public, who think Disney is basically fine, are well within our rights to call these people stupid and insane.

If you're the kind of person who only likes one thing, you're generally considered "eccentric." But the weird thing about grownups who love Disney is that Disney is already really popular and well-liked. Disney doesn't need super fans. Disney doesn't need advocacy. It's like if you went door-to-door telling strangers about how great pizza is. Most people already like pizza. You're not helping pizza by doing this. You're just revealing to the people around you that you're missing something in your life, and rather than confront that need, you're trying to associate yourself with one of the biggest, most well-liked brands on the planet, because, maybe you're, I dunno, boring?

In this case we have a mom who absolutely refuses to give her kid anything non-Disney. Lo and behold, her daughter has actual preferences of here own. And when a family member bought her kid a toy she actually wanted, this grown-up couldn't handle it.

This doesn't just happen with Disney people. Here is the child of Harry Potter obsessed parents who just got old enough to rebel.

Handsomely Satisfying Images Of Aesthetic Perfection

Why does it make us feel so good to look at a perfect ice cream cone? Maybe it's because our lives are so disorganized and chaotic that even a passing visual representation of order hits us like a bolt of meaning in our otherwise pointless lives. Why is it that a pristine stack of apples gives us a sense of completeness that we can't find on our own? Maybe it's because we ache for a sort of aesthetic excellence that rarely, if ever presents itself in the lines and curves of everyday living. Why is it that any one of us might get more out of a stack of fluffy pancakes than looking at the smiling faces of our loved ones? Maybe it's because we continue to have lofty expectations about what our own reality should be even though deep down we know true satisfaction is something that exists only as a half-forgotten memory viewed through a kaleidoscope of painful regret.

It's definitely either that or "lines match up look nice yes."

To help you keep chasing down that dragon, here are some moredelectably aesthetic images of satisfying perfection.

Red Flag Moments When People Realized They Had A Bad Therapist

More people than ever are seeing therapists. Some would say it's because "this generation is weak," but take a long look at the folks who say that and there's a pretty terrific chance that they're the kind of person who could benefit from seeing someone themselves. People complain about change, even when it's for the better. Seriously, "this generation sucks" is what Socrates said about his students who thought the concept of writing was a good idea. Good thing someone wrote that down.

In general, society has accepted that mental health is A) a thing and B) should be taken seriously. Given the fact that rates of anxiety and depression have risen by a quarter globally in recent years, it sort of makes sense that more people have been seeking professionals to talk to about their issues. And the vast majority of mental health professionals are competent people who do their jobs.

That said, some therapists are absolutely bonkers. There are mental health professionals who will refuse to listen to their patients and give terrible advice. There are people with doctorates who will, in a beautiful twist of irony, tell someone with severe depression to quit being a huge bummer. It's a big world out there.

Like any profession, there are people who just squeak through. Statistically speaking, there are tons of "qualified" mental health professionals who skated through on C's. And sometimes, people's personalities simply clash. It's not like anyone should expect to instantly connect perfectly with a therapist, but it's also true that you probably won't make much progress speaking to someone you actively hate the sight of.

So here are people who had a moment with their therapist who thought "man, maybe I should get a new one of these". For a nice mental health thread that isn't a replacement for actual therapy but is still at least cathartic, here's a man's vulnerable twitter thread about his struggles with mental health.

Clueless Company Refuses to Let Customer Keep Incorrect Pool Table, Would Rather Spend $2800 Shipping Instead of Credit the $200

When u/SolCapsa ordered a pool table to get shipped to their house they can't possibly have anticipated how clueless the company was going to be. 

As u/SolCapsa explains in detail, due to the weight and fragility, a slate pool table is not cheap to ship. This would be a major issue for the company when they accidentally sent the wrong-sized pool table. 

See u/SolCapsa ordered a 7-foot table, wanting to play on the standard size that you would find down at your local pub. So, when an 8-foot table arrived instead u/SolCapsa notified customer services of the issue. They let customer services know that they'd be happy to keep this table instead, despite it being the wrong one, as it would be much more cost-effective for the company to take the $100 price difference as a loss than to ship this table back again and the correct one out. 

When the manager told them that they had "No intention of upgrading the table size for free." u/SolCapsa decided to wash their hands of the issue and leave the company to their self-inflicted fate. 

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For more malicious compliance with an incompetent company check out this idiot employer who told their employee to "Reconsider working here if you want to take a vacation." The employee did exactly that.

Ex-'Big Brother' Cast Member Worked at Starbucks for 10 Years, Hated it, is Now Getting Revenge with Her TikToks on How to Troll Them

She teaches her viewers how to get popular menu items for way cheaper and also exposes horrifying company secrets that show how badly they treat their employees. 

Scumbag Family Members Steal Woman's Savings, Deny It, Beaten By Evidence

It's really hard for me to imagine living in this scenario. I was fortunate, privileged, enough to grow up in a safe and secure environment. My heart goes out to everyone who has to endure this sort of uncertainty and strife within their own homes. 

Unfortunately for this user, who has now deleted their profile, that is not the case for them. 

They live with their mother and older sister. The poster works as a house cleaner on their days off and keeps all of that money in a safe disguised as a book on their shelf. 

They resorted to using this safe because they have already had two incidents involving theft with their mother and sister. She says that she has forgiven them as much as she can but no longer trusts them. 

It really is such hard luck to have people like this in your life. I only wish that someone had told her to get a bank account after those first two instances. There was no way that her family was going to be stopped by a small safe. 

The poster then explains how she garnered enough evidence to confront her family in front of the rest of the family at an event. It sounds like she needs to get the police involved at the very least.

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For more terrible family members who can't keep their hands off other people's property... Check out this wife who had a habit of stealing from her husband and his family.

Creepy Neighbor Peers Through Woman's Windows, Says She Can't Walk Around Her House Topless

When u/nobrasonmain adjusted her morning routine to include straying into her kitchen after her workout... She can't have anticipated that it would lead to issues with her neighbors.

See u/nobrasonmain loves to crank out a morning workout in the little home gym setup that she has in her garage. Once she's done with that she chucks her sweaty shirt off and into the laundry hamper while she makes her way to the shower.

This week she had added an additional detour to that route. Stopping by the kitchen on the way to her shower to grab a bite to eat and refuel before continuing on to the sweet relief that running water provides after a workout. 

Unbeknownst to her, her neighbor had been watching her during the first few days that she was doing this. He confronted her about it, telling her that she needs to behave appropriately towards him and his family. 

Honestly, this guy really needs to not put his drama onto someone else. If the fact that you are able to stare into someone else's windows bothers you that much it's time to put in a tree or a hedge as a bit of a buffer. That or just pull the curtains closed. 

Just because you can't control yourself, or because your wife is mad that you can't control yourself, doesn't mean that you can tell your neighbors what they can or can't do in their own home. 

Keep in mind too; She still has a sports bra on...

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For more of the world's best neighbors. Check out this HOA Karen who had a guy's old Mercedes-Benz towed.

Senior Designer Uses Gendered Slur on Junior Designer, Calls Her Lazy, Surprised When HR Gets Involved

Maybe we should feel bad for u/aitabadworker. He sounds like he is pretty stressed out. But, it's the way that he is taking his stress out on other people that is the problem here.

u/aitabadworker posted to AITA this week asking for advice regarding his coworker, who he also refers to as his subordinate. Really, she seems to just be his coworker though. 

He does seem to be a little confused on the matter. Stating both that "I'm not technically her "boss," and that "I've tried to look out for her best interests and be a friendly boss". 

So, that's the first red flag here. A guy that is not technically someone's boss thinks that he also is their boss. Oh, and he wants to tell her what she can and can't do after work hours.

Meanwhile, he's holding a grudge against her for not asking for work that she doesn't know about because he hasn't told her about it.

It sounds like he is unraveling at both ends a little bit and if he doesn't want to get fired before the baby comes he needs to take a time out and sort whatever it is that is causing this in his mind. 

Go see a therapist or take up meditation and stop taking it out on the people you work with!

The first part of this post is the original thread along with a selection of comments from that post.

Item #19 begins a second post that was made about the original topic in the r/antiwork subreddit where commenters were even less sympathetic. 

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For more like this check out this insane and narcissistic list of rules that were posted in a medical clinic.

Freaky Double Take Moments That Made Our Eyes Figuratively Bleed

If eyes are so good at seeing things, why are eyes also so bad at seeing things? Every single one of us has been in a situation where we think we're looking at a face in the trees or a dark specter in a dumpster and every single time it's just a sign or a rock or something. We're glad every time that we're not looking at a mysterious demon looking back at us, but maybe it would be nice if one time it was legit just so we don't feel stupid.

The smallest amount of reflection, shadow or skewed perspective will have our eyes pushing us into believing one thing is a different thing. Just once we'd like to see a traffic cone actually be a lost wizard's hat. Is that too much to ask for? A safety wizard that directs traffic? In case you want to confuse your eyes some more, here are some more freaky double take moments that had our eyes thoroughly tricked.

Daughter Breaks Leg, Psycho Karen Shuts Off Phone For Vacation, Doesn't Get Why Everyone Is Mad

There's a certain parental instinct you'd think everyone would have when they learn that their kid has been in a life-threatening accident. Maybe you'd think to call your own daughter and like, see how she's doing? Maybe you'd consider rescheduling your trip by a few days? Maybe you'd at least send a text?

It's really difficult to understand the thought process of someone who makes choices like this. "Why are all these people texting me about some kind of emergency? Don't they know I'm on vacation?" One thing we'd really like to know is how this person managed to even have a decent vacation when they knew full well they had real responsibilities to attend to. How do you get to the point when your kid's broken leg is considered an inconvenience so mild that your end can be "solved" by just ignoring it? We'd love to be able to compartmentalize things this well. What a skill.

Probably the most amazing part here is that this lady appears to be baffled as to why her family is upset with her. Imagine having such high self esteem that you couldn't be bothered to self reflect on your own active role in your own kid's pain and suffering. There are sea turtles with a stronger maternal instinct.

Fore some more real excellence, here's the lady who couldn't understand why it was rude to accept a drink from a stranger while actively on a date.

Elder Scrolls Memes That Are As Inevitable As Cliff Racers

The Elder Scrolls games have served us for decades as the premier place to steal from shopkeepers, get addicted to skooma, be intolerant of cat people, and increase our agility by jumping. Every few years (okay, more than a few) we get a new installment of the game, and then within a few years after that we get the non-glitchy version with definitely at least half as many chairs clipping through walls.

But for all of its flaws, popping in Morrowind and taking a silt strider to Balmora and looking at Caius Cosades rippling abs or booting up Skyrim just to shout a few draugrs back into the grave never really gets as old as it definitely should by now. And with that time, boy have we gotten a whole lot of Elder Scrolls memes out of it all.

At the end of the day, it's not about graphics or horse armor. It's about what makes role playing games truly great. And that's naming yourself Barf Fart, setting your eyes way too wide in character creation, giving yourself a big purple afro and murder-hoboing your way through a swamp until you've killed and stolen just enough gold to buy a big hammer and fictional drugs. Absolutely terrific.

The Wildest Junk Parents Confiscated From Their Kids

We all remember a time as kids when we were able to get our hands on something we shouldn't have. Anything hot, sharp or filthy felt like a magnet to our underdeveloped brains. Finding a knife or dirty diaper on the playground only meant one thing: today is going to be a much more interesting day than usual. Remember when the woods used to just have smut in it sometimes? Man, the pre-internet days were weird. 

It's every parent's responsibility to at least keep the more dangerous stuff out of their kid's hands, but they're impossible to watch 24 hours a day. And for some reason, things like your elderly neighbor's boudoir polaroids and syringes full of dog pee just happen to find themselves in kids lives. We don't know how they got there. The world is just a big place. Honestly it's good that children spend so much time exploring and trying to make sense of the world they live in, but of course it's not an enviable position to be a parent trying to snatch a jar of teeth out of your 7 year old's hands as they scream "teeth man teeth man I am the teeth man."

Everyone knows that kids are strange creatures. Can we blame them for trying to make weapons out of old pieces or rebar and smashing old DVDs with them? Sometimes, but not a whole lot. They're right, that's a fun thing to do.

Pizza Place Advertises Wrong Number, Refuses to Fix, Family Takes Fake Orders

u/MundaneSeesaw's family found themselves receiving an increasing number of phone calls from the local pizza chain. See, the thing was, their home phone number was excruciatingly close to the pizza place. They would consistently get calls from people late at night who would use foul and threatening language when confronted with the fact that they had called the wrong place.

Things escalated when the pizza place released a massive ad with the wrong number on it. The phone began ringing off the hook. u/MundaneSeesaw's father called the pizza place and asked them to pay to change the family's phone number so that they could stop getting harassed. 

When the manager responded rudely to the request all bets were off. u/MundaneSeesaw and his sister, under instructions from their father, began trolling callers. They pretended to be the pizza place and would take fake orders. This would eventually culminate in the restaurant's demise.

Immature Roommate Refuses to Buy Toilet Paper, Woman Hides Hers in Her Room

Living with other people will never cease to amaze you. We're all a little bit different after all. Each of us is crazy in our own way.

But, it is truly astounding what incredibly basic survival skills and instincts some people are missing. I'm talking about the ability to cook for yourself. To clean. Heck, even the ability to purchase household essentials is beyond some people. 

This is how it was for u/pettytoiletpaper who found themselves living with a roommate who was absolutely unable to procure toilet paper for herself. It's uncertain where she thought that toilet paper came from but for the evidence, she probably thinks that it is delivered via stork or something. 

Now, when u/pettytoiletpaper and their roommate moved in together they agreed that they would take turns purchasing consumable goods. But soon u/pettytoiletpaper found herself buying them on every single occasion. Her roommate constantly had some excuse or another about why they were unable to purchase the paper supplies. 

u/pettytoiletpaper began to run out of options which led us to this complete breakdown of communication and basic principles that we see here. 

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For more insane roommates check out this one who had an allergic reaction after stealing leftovers.

Woman "Ruins" Brother's Engagement By Telling Fiancé About His Four Secret Children

The brother has the audacity to get mad about the "private" details of his four existing kids being told to his future wife. It's pretty safe to say this guy had no intention of telling his own fiancé about his complicated family tree, so good on OP for letting it slip. The hell does this guy think he is, just Mr. Magooing his way into making all these people. It's not like you can just slip on a freshly waxed floor and accidentally get more than one woman pregnant. This guy needs locking underwear.

As sad as it is for the fiance to have been completely in the dark about it, she has probably just last-second dodged a train-sized bullet. Imagine wanting to start a family with someone and discovering years later that they already tried and failed at it more than a few times in the most spectacular way possible.

It's always a weird reminder that Jerry Springer energy is alive and well in real life. Poor kids. Maybe it's a good thing they don't have to live with this guy.

Gaming Memes To Grind Through On Hard

In only a few decades, video games went from being a weird sideshow of bleeps and bloops to a billion dollar industry and pastime for millions, complete with its own competitive leagues. Anyone who grew up through this time has witnessed the growth of beautiful artform only to have its wings clipped by constant microtransactions and identical sequels.

Those 12-year-olds who were beating us at Halo and describing exactly what they did to our moms last night are now 26 year olds, still beating us at Halo and still describing what they're doing to our moms. Joke's on them though, cause unlike those guys, at least we don't live with ours anymore.

Seeing graphics go from angular smudges to "so hot it's become a problem for some of you people" has been a wild ride, and there's no guessing where the industry will go. Our money is on a big Pong Resurgence. That or VR games where we finally get to own a house. But why even bother with that when the Sims has existed for decades. If it ain't broke don't fix it. Just make an HD remake and resell it back to the people who are still playing the original.

Here are some more video game memes.

Stuff People Will Definitely Never Do Again

People always talk about how important it is to live life to the fullest and do as many things as possible. The inevitable outcome is that about half of those things aren't exactly gonna be worth it. Sure, things not working out sometimes is the price of admission for doing anything at all, but it sure sucks to learn that you don't like bungie jumping while actively bungie jumping.

And then there are the "activities" that are more like situations that last more than a few years. Sometimes those ones are hard to figure out only until you're on the other side. And then you have the clarity to say, "man, if I know one thing for sure, it's that I'm never gonna spend 5 years married to paint-huffing birthday clown ever again." Sure that's just a guess, but we're pretty confident about it.

Some of these may seem like common sense, others may feel like anti-adventurism. Everyone's different, so hey man go ahead and go to the bathroom after slicing a bunch of peppers, but be warned that your results may vary. Here are some things people did once and never again.

Husband Lies About Dark Origins Of Jack Frost, Wife Repeats Lie For 15 Years

It's not totally out of the realm of possibility. Santa Clause himself is known to have been the star of some freaky German fairy tails featuring pickled children and sacks of heads. So to think that the character "Jack Frost" is actually a nose-eating serial killer is sort of in line with the origins of the holiday season anyway. Throw in the fact that there are at least two Jack Frost themed horror movies starring a killer snow man, and you've got a recipe for a dark tale of almost reasonable proportions.

But the fact remains, this guy lied to his wife about Jack Frost and she believed it hook, line and sinker. Then she went on to tell other people that lie for years and years, becoming "the weird lady who is wrong about Jack Frost." And he never corrected her.

Sure, this could be seen as a betrayal of someone's trust, but everyone knows that if you've successfully convinced someone of a totally inconsequential falsehood for longer than a month, you keep that baby rolling for as long as possible.

And yes, it doesn't feel good to be bamboozled, but that's nothing compared to the joy felt by the bamboozler. For a similar one, here's the husband who lied to his wife about gummy flavors for 13 years.