A dolmen is a kind of rock structure that serves as an ancient tomb, and this lady didn't really seem to understand why her kids climbing on one would be a big deal. Even after people told her it was kind of a garbage move, she decided to double down. In the end, the moral philosophers of the internet basically agreed that she's why we can't have nice things.
It's not exactly reasonable to claim the street parking in front of your house and defend it by sabotaging people's tires, but that doesn't stop people from doing it. The audacity of entitled people can lead to some real-life cartoon situations, like when grown adults leave angry reviews like "I didn't appreciate that everyone in Spain spoke Spanish." The world would be better off if people didn't act like toddlers, but it would definitely be less interesting.
In the food industry, it's important to take allergies seriously. Knowing this, some really crappy customers out there will try and use this information and lie in order to scare staff into comping their meals or pay more attention to them in general. Often these customers double back on their own claims and prove to everyone that they're being dumb, like this Karen who explained that she was lactose intolerant and asked for cream instead.
A nice juicy funny tweet or tumblr gem is something you can quote later to your friends. The internet is a nexus of extremely specific and stupid ideas that get stuck into people's mind-brains and get bounced around like marbles in a paint-shaker, so it's only natural that there are optimal funny tweets to remember later and chuckle quietly.
Cleverness and intelligence are two very different things. The difference can be spotted freely lurking throughout technically correct dumb jokes and moments. Honestly, just knowing things can be boring. Setting up oneself up with some potentially confusing technically accurate logical acrobatics or painfully stupid literalisms is the way to go.
Those elves were laying it on thick with the holiday spice. It seems like there's never a moment of genuine comfortability throughout this "Talk to Santa" hotline experience. That's strangely impressive in its own right.
We remember as kids hearing all the insane myths about how piranhas could shear a cow down to the bones in minutes. While they're not quite that efficient in real life, it still looks like you don't want the attention of a bunch of piranhas.
There are people you know, people right now, living among you, people you work with, who don't know that pickles are cucumbers. There are competent people, with lives and families who have yet to learn that you shouldn't put metal in the microwave. And there's probably some phrase you've been saying wrong your entire life, like "for all intensive purposes" that you have yet to realize is wrong. So good luck with that and enjoy some painfully obvious things people didn't realize for way too long.
There's absolutely nothing the denizens of tumblr love more than over-rationalizing the lore of children's movies. This deep dive into the Incredibles, this thread on the scariness of Coraline featuring Neil Gaiman, and this lawyering of Pirates of The Caribbean all go to show that Tumblr is the de facto space for getting in too deep on movies that came out more than ten years ago. So naturally we're finally getting around to Minions.
It's extremely easy to get caught up in the grind of daily life and assume the worst in people. Sure, bad things happen, but it's important to remember that people still do wholesome things for the love of the game. There are still girls setting up dirt restaurants and janitors getting well-deserved jobs. There are still blessed images and stories people tell each other about wholesome grandmas summoning demons. As much as it seems like the grind never stops, people don't stop trying to be nice, either.
You love to see it. A bossy, distrustful customer comes in thinking he's gonna teach these folks a thing or two about measurements only to have his plan blow up in his face. Couldn't he have just asked them to weigh the original bag? In a heated customer service situation all rationality goes out the window and we're left with stories like the time a customer got a burrito cut in half longways.
Social media has a steep learning curve for the old. It's a lot of folks using the laughing emoji when sharing sad news, accidentally posting their sordid google searches as their statuses, printing out memes, believing even the most absurd satirical new articles, and speaking in all caps. But we gotta cut them some slack, cause these old people are trying their best on social media.
Having a lenient boss is great. But lenient bosses often know when they're being lenient, and taking advantage of that can lead to a world of trouble. What should have been this dude's wake-up call turned into his own call to action where he decided to dig his hole even deeper. Not a great move, but a pretty typical one among coworkers who get fired at record seed.
We're all important people with busy lives and crammed schedules, so we're willing to do what it takes to get the job done as quickly as possible. It doesn't matter how many upside down signs, improperly installed toilets and poorly painted road lines get in our way. Because we're hard workers dammit, and work is hard. Here are some more not my job moments of failure to really feel like you're excellent at your profession.
After seeing a company think it's reasonable to put someone through a 22 hour workday and offer them 2 hours to go home and sleep, it's understandable why this person would want to leave. And seeing how things go downhill right as they go? That there is some delicious revenge. For another unreasonable boss, here's the manager who reprimanded a broken-footed employee for sitting at work.
There's nothing quite like a fresh batch of glitch in the matrix moments to send you off on a disorienting reality trip where you might be left with your head in your hands, shakily wondering whether or not this is some grand simulation. Well, simulation or not we've still got to play the game. If it were a simulation, it's kind of "nice" to know that whoever/whatever is running said simulation is also prone to fails just like the rest of us measly human beings.
Life is a grind, but we still have choices to make. It's up to you to decide whether that grind is nice and coarse or if you want it to be a smooth dust. We'd all like to run away from our problems big and small, but we can't. So all we can really do is distract ourselves for long enough that we're recharged enough to face them head on. For help with that, here are some funny tweets to bring strength and fortitude.
Two kids were spotted playing between the rooftops of two real tall buildings in the Hubei Province of China in what looks like a heart-poundingly bad idea caught on film. Reports say after this, the building manager found these kids and safely brought them down, saying he'd replace the broken locks on the doors to the roof. Dude.
As far as simple solutions go, the issue of "how do I get my chickens across this river" looks like it's no match for the beautiful simplicity of "throw a few chains across there and call it good." Add to that the chicken loading bar-like quality to it and you've got yourself some goofy looking yet effective results.
Everyone has got a theory. Being people, we're more often compelled by how true something seems rather than if there's any evidence for it. Cue people's personal conspiracies about how mattress stores are all crime fronts and handbag companies work with pants companies to deliberately make women's pockets too small. They sure seem plausible, and boy do we like to believe a weird new theory.
It really sucks that we live in a world where people want to leverage people's missing pets in order to steal their identities, but that's the world we live in. Some scammers will pretend to be your bosswhile other scammers are their own worst enemies. At least it's relatively easy to spot this sort of thing, and when we do, it provides a good chance to mess around with a jerk.
I am absolutely gob smacked. This has to be, simultaneously, one of the best and worst things that I have ever read on the internet.
This is bound to go into the story hall-of-fame along with the "SR-71 Speed Check Story" and countless others. Some of which I don't dare name. (A certain box comes to mind.)
The very thought that you could pull off a stunt like this is mind-boggling at first. But, as you start to unpack it, it begins to make a bit more sense. As long as the cats looked similar enough and acted similar enough you wouldn't question it. Or would you? Usually cats are better at bringing people together but, in this instance, they might be about to tear a relationship asunder.
While I'm impressed at this, as writer for Cheezburger and (therefore) a cat lover, I'm also horrified.
Would you know if your pet had been swapped out for a virtually identical doppelgänger?
It's a pretty funny moment when someone can't put together the two-piece puzzle that's right in front of their eyes. It takes some serious mental contortion skills to have the thought of "why can't I go in at closing time, it couldn't possibly be me who is the problem" but hey, here we are. People care about their favorite local restaurants, and they calls 'em as they sees 'em. Here are some more wild moments of entitlement and a stable owner who decimated an influencer.
Like all permanent decisions, it's usually a good idea to do your research and make the right choice when considering a tattoo. In addition to the questionable ideas, much of the frustration of tattooing is the clients themselves, especially when they're a first-timer who doesn't know what they're getting into. Tattoo artists find themselves dealing with people's tattoo choices that have them asking questions.
The writing is on the wall. We are all bored, boring people. The only thing that truly enriches our lives for a moment is seeing a goofy dumb thing on the webnets, like these random and ridiculous tumblr gems to fight the clawing boredom. That dullness is coming for you, honey baby, and the only thing that can quench that forever thirst is the likes of funny and delectable tumblr gems.
Negotiation is hard enough without one person maliciously trying to trick you about how much you're going to earn. Here's a Karen who wanted a about 4 jobs done for the price of less than one. Childcare is expensive, but it's not like lying about how much you're willing to pay is a great way to bring people in. For another wild one, here's the entitled mom who tried to swindle a babysitter with some similar chicanery.
It sucks to be wrong. But also, we can't always be right. So when we're caught in between rightness and wrongness, we have to settle into that hilariously grey area of "technical accuracy." Sure, people can tell that you're being of no help, but you don't have to accept it. Here are some more technically accurate moments that aren't incorrect.
There are few indicators of character better than seeing how someone treats animals, especially your pets. The fact that this lady thought it was reasonable to throw an indoor cat on the street, let alone a cat that lived there longer than her, is enough reason to believe that maybe the relationship isn't totally worth pursuing. The internet weighed in, and their agreement was overwhelming. For another wild one, here's the HOA Karen who complained about guide dog training.
Maybe one of the only social positives to come out of the nonstop access and interconnectivity of the internet is that the people who made the things you like can actually just tell you about them directly. Coraline was celebrated as a fabulously creepy adaptation of a much creepier children's book. As it turns out, even though it was probably too creepy, it was just too good. Author Neil Gaiman himself gives the account. For some more wonderous tumblr dives into fiction, here's Tumblr's deep dive into The Incredibles and Tumblr's breakdown of young adult dystopian fiction.
Everyone is allowed to get married in pretty much whatever reasonable venue they want. But at the same time, a destination wedding that would require taking a week off isn't exactly something that most people leap at the opportunity to attend. Is it that hard to understand that other people's priorities might not perfectly line up with yours? It's a judgement that shouldn't be surprising. And who expects their friend to save for years for something like this?
