Take an idea. Make it a stupid one. Now cast it into the collective subconscious of creative weirdos and let them pick it apart like a thousand hagfish boiling out of a month-dead whale's eye socket. Congrats, that's pretty close to hilarious and totally random tumblr gems one might find zooming around the interwebs. They'refunny, random, shiny and gem-like.
No one is prepared to tolerate a thief, and this guy's nephew stole himself a ticket to 40K extra in college debt when he decided to abuse his uncle's trust. It doesn't seem like too good of an investment. People deal with thieves in professional settings too, like this lunch thief that got outed by a coworker's revenge or this employee who got a raise for catching a stealing manager. For some sneakiness that lies in the realm of the absurd, here are cons people pulled off through complete confidence.
Employees have to deal with a lot of ridiculous customer demands that make work frustrating, but sometimes people just want something really weird. Paint and hardware stores specifically will have people walking in nonstop with random objects whose color struck them as something they would want all over their walls for the foreseeable future. This extends to soap, dirt, melons and body parts.
Every so often, inanimate objects have a whole lot of personality. What starts as a leaf or pile of bubbles can look like a really cool guy. Honestly there are some piles of rocks out there who seem like a great hang. Sometimes inanimate objects just look like other stuff. Deceptive little inanimate objects, trying to trick us. Go back to being things, stuff.
It's always a weird moment as a customer, watching a real monster of a Karen rip into an employee for no good reason. As it turns out there's actually something you can do to make it so people don't get fired because of one miserable outspoken customer. For more sightings of the wild Karen, here's a secret shopper Karen who got fired for being too much of a Karen and a customer who weaponized the tip jar to defeat a Karen.
If you're ever wondering how to destroy your company from within just follow these simple steps:
1. Criticize you employees for how they dress, just make sure you target a high ranking executive who is well-liked by the other employees.
2. Set unreasonable and invasive demands for said employees to further increase their shared loathing of you.
3. Ensure your technical staff are further incensed by calling them at early hours of the morning. At this point they should be ready to quit.
4. Watch all your efforts and hard work come to fruition as the world implodes around you.
Man, the people in this world that are out there stealing other people's lunches are really swinging low. It sounds like this particular lunch thief wasn't going to stop with their antics until someone literally exposed them. And oh boy, did they get exposed. I would've loved to have seen the look on "Kyle's" face when he got caught. Also though, pretty uncool on the part of the company itself for not getting involved with the lunches being stolen until one of the higher up's had their own lunch jacked. For another pro revenge tale check out the time that a landlord refused to return a deposit, got taken to court, appealed it, and then lost everything.
As intelligent people, it's our collective prerogative to do as little work as possible while looking like we're still maintaining some semblance of qualtity conmptrol. The "not my job" moments that surround us serve as a reminder that even if we do our jobs horribly, stupidly wrong, if your boss doesn't notice and a customer/client doesn't complain, then you're good to go.
Nothing can quite sink the spirits like realizing that you're living next to an absolute waking nightmare of a human being. Seriously, the whole business of neighbors is a risky game. You might've secured a wonderful home, but if you're also living next to an entitled and outright nasty piece of work, it can really put a damper on the whole situation. It sounds like this lady was going out of her way to give a perfectly well meaning family a hard time. Well, she certainly ended up getting her comeuppance when it was all said and done.
A story can kind of be about anything can't it? All it takes is a short writing prompt about a demon getting summoned by a grandma and the wheels of Tumblr start to turn. Good old Todd. For more tales about Tumblr's obsession with wholesome and absurd stories of the occult, here are angels and demons bonding over sandwiches and the tale of neighbor Steve and the abominations.
As far as stories that effectively defy the bounds of what we thought was possible for the human body to withstand, this tale about British Airways flight 5390 is one for the books. It's just the kind of story that involves an unprecedented level of fearless heroism in the face of a truly nightmarish turn of events. One can only imagine what kinds of thoughts must've been racing through that pilot's brain. Also though, the copilot had to have been weathering tidal waves of internal panic. The fact that the pilot comes out of the event alive (with some gnarly sustained injuries/trauma though) is crazy. If you're looking for some more gold from the Tumblr world, check out these resplendent Tumblr gems of random hilarity.
For some reason the prospect of a deal brings out the absolute worst in people. And what's the deal with strangers claiming to be "the customer" as if this person selling their laptop is the customer service wing of Staples? What a mess. For more idiots trying to bully people for the sake of a deal, here's an unhinged lowballer having a meltdown and an entitled mom who tried to swindle the babysitter.
Alright, fine. Linguistics majors who've taken their 100 level courses will tell you that language is an everchanging thing and that as long as someone has communicated something effectively, it counts as effective human communication. But they're not talking about the extremely dumb spelling fails that we all see every day. Calling a terrarium a "terrorism" isn't a profound shift in language as we know it, it's someone who didn't want to Google "thing my turtle lives in" and settled on the closest bowl of word salad that autocorrect wouldn't slide a red squiggly line under. Here are more spelling failures that really shift the bed.
The queue, an unspoken and vital social foundation. The bedrock on which society is built.
There's no larger plague on society than someone who doesn't know how to queue correctly... or thinks they are somehow better, cleverer, than everyone else just because they're too big of a selfish prick to follow one of society's most integral cornerstones.
Pox to anyone who thinks they're above this system. This Karen totally got what she deserved.
Every part of life brings with it the potential for mistakes, failures, errors and blunders. Is it always our fault? Maybe some proactivity on our part could keep our toilets unexploded and our cars free of snow, but at the same time, the world is unpredictable. No amount of caution will completely save us from failure and stolen underwear, as evidenced by semi-frequent Misfortune Mondays.
It's the attitude here that sets the pace on the path to arseholery. I don't think it's entirely unreasonable to expect some kind of support from your significant other if you have a demanding job that is bringing in the bookoo bucks. If my partner was raking it in I would be waiting on her hand and foot. I still have my fingers crossed that this reality might materialize in the future.
But 5AM is an early start for a parent who has been up all night with a child. Maybe find something else you want her to help you with dude. I'm sure there is a lot that she is doing already that you aren't noticing.
Parenting isn't easy. You'll keep making mistakes even when your children are adults or so my parents tell me. Not exactly talking from experience here.
Every town has a few. An impossible building, maybe with no sign, standing in defiance of the Starbucks on the right and the frozen yogurt place on the left. Some say it's a Chinese restaurant. Others swear that they fix up broken vacuums. But the one thing everyone agrees on is that it hasn't changed in 30 years, it's almost never open, and there's always a guy in a tracksuit standing outside. For some detailed accounts of these absolute gems, here's a tumblr thread about eating good meals at crime fronts.
We like to think of ourselves as people with good musical timing, and after seeing this, we're pretty certain that we've been wrong about that. But maybe if we had a few dozen people to help us clap at the right time, we'd be able to keep up with the velvety grooves on display.
There's something magical about watching a person learn that their treasured possession is worth a fortune on Antiques Roadshow. The way this appraiser keeps adding details and value to the watch is a satisfying sight to behold.
Halloween is great. It gives us an opportunity to let out our true selves, especially if your true self is a sexy firefighter. And with the night of the ghouls we get that beautiful few weeks leading up to it, where we get to eat candy, watch bad movies and plan for our role in the upcoming skeleton war. So enjoy those spooky memes while you can, cause next month we have to see our most hated family members for a big tense dinner.
At best, life is a series of dodged bullets. With all the falling icicles, natural disasters and blind turns on one lane roads that life has to offer, we can only hope to be fortunate enough to say "damn, that was crazy" at the end of a close call. And it gives us a sense of appreciation for our current circumstances when we can look back with a feeling of bewilderment on the moments that we realize could have gone very differently.
Another classic tale in malicious compliance. The last thing you want to do as a manager is mess with the sole employee who knows how to execute a vital task of your business. It's probably best to manage them as you need to and otherwise live and let live.
Otherwise, you end up in the situation that his bad boss has found himself in. Up a creek without a paddle. Good luck getting yourself home buddy.
There's nothing quite like the satisfaction of quitting a bad job with a toxic boss. The feeling of realizing you don't have an irrational overlord scheduling you for unreasonable hours and punishing you for cryptic infractions is like taking a deep breath for the first time in years. For another good one, here's the boss who reprimanded an employee for sitting with a broken foot and was shocked that they quit.
If you're like us, misanthropes who look at the tub drain and see not only our dreams but also an alarming amount of head hair, it's important to remember to take a break from seeing the world through dookie-colored glasses. That's where wholesome memescan be a good reminder that people are basically good, almost no one is thinking about how much they dislike you at this very moment, and also dogs are nice.
We are bored, boring people and we need a saline drip of jokes to get us through our pointless days. That may sound a bit sad, and it is, but without them we'd just be specters haunting our own grey lives, unable to find the joy in witnessing even the sweetest of groin injuries. So let's see if we can find a vein and plug in some funny tweets and sweet tumblr gems.
This person might be the only time we've ever heard of a TV/Internet provider ever going above and beyond for a customer, and it feels like a flower blooming in the desert. If only there were more people like this. For a more stand-offish episode with an internet company, here's the time an internet company refused to cancel service and a rural customer let them prove themselves wrong.
People will find things to complain about. They'll split hairs with surgical precision just to complain about free donuts. They'll make up a bunch of lies to smear a business that didn't serve them 10 minutes after closing time. They'll try to not pay people for completed work and they'll have meltdowns over not getting preferred appointment times. It's a wild world out there, and it's bursting with entitled people in need of a reality check.
What is it with evil step-mothers wanting their new families wanting to 'adopt' their children and refer to them as certain things this week? 'Cause I'm seeing a trend here.
The answer here is probably the same as the step-niece and nephew... the mother is being completely unreasonable here. This girl has lived as a part of this family for 17 years and is almost and adult herself. I can kind of see where she is coming from but it is probably a bit late for this girl to be taking on new step-siblings without developing the relationship. If it happens it happens but you can't just force it to non-organically.
Even if we had the context, the double packaged bananas, extra long toilets and refurbished burgers in here still wouldn't make a whole lot of sense. Maybe we don't deserve context. Maybe the world is just doomed to be cursed. Maybe all we can do is sit back with some cursed food and watch it all pass us by like some kind of nonsense-fueled horror parade.
We really don't want to be bad customers at restaurants. We know firsthand that being a prickly customer is no fun, and we'd rather not be labelled as any type of dreaded Karen. But as people with wants and needs and dignity and all that jazz, we don't want to be bullied by someone who's having a bad day and taking it out on us. These competing goals supersede each other depending on the instance, and in the case of the bland curry it really feels like this guy had a point.
