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Monday, February 8, 2021

Tumblr Thread: 70s House Is Carpeted Geometry Salad

Times change, but some houses don't really. It's unclear who would want to live in this excessively carpeted homage to non-90 degree angles, but it has its own kind of charm. Would it be comfortable to live in? Probably not, but it's a spectacle and that's what counts. It's kind of like this unique house with multiple themed rooms.

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Building - gretchensinister Follow Come with me, friends.

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Building - To this house. Not a contemporary house, and the pentagons of those two windows on the left are a little unusual, but not particularly notable. VAVVA

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Property - The sides of the steps to the front entrances are painted purple. That's a little interesting. Oh?

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Lighting - OHHHH YEEEESSSSSSS POUR THAT PURPLE CARPET ON ME BABY (also that fireplace KS) You thought you'd bring your own furniture to this house? No. Only built-in seating covered with orange-pattered carpet in the purple living room.

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Furniture - This is where things start to get a little surreal to me. This house was built in 1975. But look how bright and new that carpet looks! It still matches the light fixture! And it's in the kitchen! It looks like it was never used (weird), or that it was REPLACED recently (WEIRDER BY FAR).

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Property - This is actually a lovely bright dining space, if you can ignore the purple carpet of the living room running up against the blue carpet of the kitchen. As sometimes happens in a house.

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Mirror - That's a new toilet. And that's purple carpet in the bathroom. And a pink sink where the material reminds me of tiny independent movie theaters or hole-in the wall restaurants.

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Property - The only way to move between the three floors of this house, friends and foes. I have one drink and l'm sleeping on the orange built-in seating for my safety.

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Property - And now...pink. (And some sliding doors which I hope open onto a balcony but I don't SEE anything like a balcony railing.) Stepping back, I'm still having trouble interpreting this room. My best guess is that it's the main bedroom, with a semi-public area at the top of the stairs and then this is the more private area where the bed would go. But it's not actually walled off. The decorative light switch cover shaped like a regular house is a nice touch.

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Property - This is a lot. I genuinely now start to think that this house was inhabited by beings that DID NOT USE BATHROOMS nor did they UNDERSTAND what bathrooms were used for. That carpet is so bright! So fluffy! It shouldn't look that way if it's original, and WHO WOULD HAVE MADE THIS DECISION MORE THAN ONCE??? And it. It doesn't even match the shade of pink around the tub. And the blue tile in the tub doesn't match anything. Th...the shower head. Is there. But there is no place to hang a cur

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Cabinetry - Non-Euclidian closet. First non-carpeted room we have seen. I run from the non-Euclidean closet to face the stairs, which I fall down headfirst, dying instantly.

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Property - Ah, the lower level. There's another sink in another carpeted area, but at least the built-in furniture isn't carpeted. It's fine. IT'S FINE

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Property - This bedroom makes me think of dorm rooms, but from a bad alternate timeline. This bedroom doesn't have carpet, but rather a portal to a different alternate universe.

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Property - Your best chance for normality in this house. At least the children's toilet room isn't carpeted? I've gotta count this as a win at this point. I'm blocking the sink and counter from my mind. I do not see it.

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Building - It's fine. Oh THERE'S the balcony...it has no railing. Friends and foes, I really think l'd need my balcony to have railings in this house. But I guess if you're an incorporeal being from another dimension who loves carpet, it wouldn't really matter. Thank you for journeying with me. (Btw it sold for about $160,000.)

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Tagged: house , 70s , lol , ridiculous , funny , home , weird , carpet

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Dude Takes On Challenge Burger At Local Business, Pays The Price

An unfortunate amount of us have fallen prey to the temptation of a food challenge at a local business at one point or another in our lives. It could be getting caught up in the excitement of the moment, maybe paired with an underlying competitive drive, but when it's all said and done those food challenges have an uncanny knack for completely messing people up. That's why restaurants offer the discounts/free meals that they do if you actually end up being able to complete the challenge in the first place. This person certainly learned their lesson in the way of painful, burning regret after trying to complete their burger challenge.

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Font - r/tifu Join u/Triple7itm · 1d 1 e 3 3 1 2 TIFU by eating a challenge burger at a local business. M TL;DR: I ate a really spicy burger for free but paid for it with pain. Edit: Some of you have asked if I tipped the waitress. No, I did not due to me not having any cash on me at the time. Apparently I fucked up twice. That's what I get for being born human. This actually happened yesterday, but I am still feeling the effects.

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Font - So, yesterday I was driving around town and was feeling a little hungry. I was thinking about what I wanted to eat and how much I wanted to spend. I immediately thought about a local burger joint I had visited previously that let's you eat for free if you can eat their "Dante's Inferno" burger in under 30 mins. So, I arrive at the burger joint and realize that business is a little slow (No other customers were there). One of the waitresses notices I am there and gets me seated at a table.

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Font - Now, this double patty burger is cooked with Carolina Reaper powder, jalapenos and extra spicy salsa. Served with a huge side of fries dusted with Carolina Reaper powder as well. You are only allowed water as well, no soft drinks. Naturally, I dig in as fast as I can so I don't waste any of my 30 minutes. I knew the second it hit my tongue I was going to regret this decision. It started burning immediately. I was shedding tears and snot was running out of my nose within the first 5 minute

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Font - 4-8 hours later (because I had eaten and drank water so fast) I had huge amounts of air trapped in my bowels. Combined with the size and spiciness of the meal, I was bloated and gassy. Sometimes the air would not come out and it felt like I was getting stabbed with a red hot, 12 inch serrated knife. After the pain had died down, I attempted to sleep this meal off. My body woke me up 5 to 6 hours later to empty the toxic waste out of my bowels. I'll leave the burning sensation I felt to yo

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Font - J4vler • 1d I had Carolina reapers in nachoes once and died. I am now starting to grow them to kill my friends. G Reply 1 251 ...

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Rectangle - Dendad1218 • 1d I wonder if I could do it? l'm paralyzed and have no feeling bellow my chest. Other then the burning mouth I don't think there'd be a problem. Reply 99 ...

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Rectangle - redbucket75• 1d Sorry to hear about your discomfort! I handle spicy well, I wish there was a place like this in my town. Not bragging, I think it just means l'm deficient in taste buds or nerve endings or something. G Reply 103 ...

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Tagged: painful , ridiculous , tifu , food , Reddit , regret

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Tumblr Thread Goes Deep On Boromir's Death In LotR

We're no strangers to the wonderful, wandering minds of Tumblr going deep on different parts of the Lord of the Rings universe. Whether it's a post that honors the progression of the Elvish vernacular throughout the Lord of the Rings books, or another wild thread about how elves might actually be flat earthers...you just never know what Tumblr's going to dish out next. This thread though, brings on all the feels. Boromir was a true legend.

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Font - extasiswings asked #if you ask I will write a whole essay on Boromir #and why his death means more to us as we get older *whispers* babe I want the essay letmetellyouaboutmyfeels Follow Why must you always enable me Heve it never stop. So. Wow. Where to even start. I rant through my tears about how much I love Boromir every time I watch Lord of the Rings, which I do about once a year with @captainofthefallen. Every time I watch it, his death means more to me, hits me harder, and I think t

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Font - Because as a kid? I wanted to be Aragorn. The reluctant king who rises up and does the right thing, always. The guy who gets the amazing (be still my bi heart) Arwen, the Evenstar, fairest of the elves. The guy who literally kicks The man who is noble, honorable, thoughtful, good with his words, humble, knows the burdens of leadership, who stands up and says there will be a day when the courage of men fails, but this is not that day. I wanted to be the hero. I noticed this trend among my

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Font - I got older, and I learned that men are not always honorable, or kind, or humble, or the leaders they should be. And I learned how hard and desperate it is to continue to believe in the strength of men. I got older, and I learned how temptation comes for us all, in different forms, and how we hurt people without meaning to, and how sometimes for all our regret and tears and apologies, we cannot mend what we broke. I got older, and I leaned what it is to be forced into a role I didn't want

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Font - Tolkien was very deliberate with his characters. They aren't just characters, flawed and wonderful though they might be. They also each represent something very specific. Aragorn represents the Ideal. The hero that we all can be, the hero that we should strive to be, the vision of mankind as we are supposed to be, if only we can let ourselves shed our hubris and our doubts. Aragorn represents who we should be. Boromir represents who we are. Flawed, frustrated, burdened, tempted, strugglin

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Font - Boromir went to the Council of Elrond reluctantly. He shouldn't have gone. Boromir is a war leader, as we learn after his death. He successfully fought for and defended Gondor from Mordor for years. That's where he belongs. Faramir is the quiet one, the diplomat, the "wizard's pupil," the soft-spoken and patient one. Note that even in the film version, which shows a differently characterized Faramir than in the books (Tolkien heavily based Faramir on himself), Faramir only wants the One R

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Font - But the Steward of aka Boromir and Faramir's father decides he wants Boromir to go, to represent their family, because Boromir is the son he values and is the "face" of Gondor. So Boromir sets aside what he wants, and he And the whole time he feels out of place, goes. feels like a fish out of water, feels second to Aragorn, feels lost, feels terrified his city will fall while he is gone, feels like the race of Men is being mocked and looked down on as weak. How many of us as we grow up ar

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Font - And of course that's the key. Boromir-darling, frustrated, stuck, fatally flawed Boromir-is so very relatable because he tries. He tries to teach Merry and Pippin to protect themselves and then tries to save them and dies for it. He tries to convince Aragorn (who at that point is more elf than man in his outlook) that there is no reason to give up on his people, their people-and he succeeds in that, although he dies before he gets to see it. He tries to make his father proud. He tries to

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Font - I have a laundry list of things I tried and failed at, and God, do they hurt. Sometimes it was something out of my control, sometimes it was my own behavior. And that scene with Boromir, the flawed man, staring up at Aragorn, the ideal hero, and begging him, begging him, "save them, they took the little ones, find Frodo," 95 begging him for forgiveness, apologizing for his failures? Talk about a metaphor. We make our ideals in literature so that we have something to look up to and strive

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Font - I had so many heroes growing up, real and literary. Sara from A Little Princess. Aragorn. Lucy from Narnia. Nancy Drew. Harry Potter. And so many times I would look at myself in the mirror and cry because I knew, I knew if I stood in front of them they would be disappointed in me. I knew I wasn't being the person I could be. / tried, I failed, I tried, I failed, but my God I swear, I tried. As a kid or even a teenager, we still see mainly who we want to be. Our ideal. And I hope that we n

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Font - Without Boromir, Aragorn wouldn't know what happened to Merry and Pippin or where they went. Without Boromir, Aragorn would've had no hope in the race of men. Without Boromir, who would have carried the hobbits up the cold mountain, or taught them how to fight, or said give them a moment, for pity's sake! Who would have defended Gondor for so long, or loved his brother with a ferocity that Denethor's abuse couldn't knock loose, and inspired that brother to keep fighting even as the light

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Font - The remains of the Fellowship ride to Gondor not just because it's the Right Thing to Do, but because it is the city of their fallen brother, it's Boromir's home, the home that above all he gave everything to defend. Boromir doesn't want the Ring for power, he wants it so his home will be safe, his family will be safe, and God who can't relate to that, as we grow older and we see our families and friends attacked and scarred, as we have children and want them out of harm's way. Who wouldn

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Tagged: wholesome , heartfelt , tumblr , Lord of the Rings , funny tumblr

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Dumbest Ideas People Had In The Middle Of A Crisis

Sometimes our brains short circuit when they're caught up in the middle of painstaking, stress-inducing conflicts. It could be the manifestation of some kind of fight-or-flight response. Who really knows? These people's recaps of their dumbest ideas during the middle of a crisis situation are certainly entertaining.

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Font - MrProfessorPhD • 20h 5 Awards Forgot i had a pizza box in the oven and started to preheat, not my best moment. Ran down after smelling smoke to see the box on fire. Instead of using the fire extinguisher right next to the oven, i grabbed the box... and instead of throwing it immediately in the sink behind me, i ran outside with it... My hands were pretty much cooked 1/4 the way through for a few weeks G Reply 2.6k 3 ...

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Rectangle - Wrackrackes • 23h 7 Awards My dinner was in the oven, it caught on fire, instead of attempting to put out the fire, I took a picture of it and texted it to my mom for advice, I was 39 years old. G Reply 4 5.2k 3 ...

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Rectangle - Krookedpinkies · 20h 1 Award When I was a kid I was playing with matches in my room. Started a small fire and began to panic. Solution? Direct the air from my fan towards the fire to blow it out. You can imagine how that went. G Reply 648 +

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Smile - "Maybe I should just take a nap" "Oh great now I have less time to get my work done" G Reply 2.6k +

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Rectangle - greendingus • 21h 6 Awards i was locked out of my house for 2 hours and my solution is lay on the ground and cry Reply 3.0k ...

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Font - lunar_raven • 17h not me but my dad, we're Australian and drive on the left side of the road. While driving in Germany he turned onto the wrong side of the road. He pulled over, with the car still facing the wrong way, and instead of just turning around, lifted the hood of the car so that it would look like he'd pulled over with car troubles instead. Stood there for several minutes before finally leaving. That was supposed to somehow mitigate the embarrassment of driving on the wrong side

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Font - Army67890 · 23h 1 Award I hissed when someone said hi to me -.- G Reply 1 799

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Organism - AverageLiberalJoe • 20h I was fixing my guitar amp. I grabbed a can of lubricant instead of air spray and sprayed it all over the amp circuit. In a fit of genius I took the amp board in to the tub to wash it all off before it damaged anything. I don't have that amp anymore. G Reply 66 ...

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Font - LittleCowofOsasco · 23h 1 Award Throw a pencil at a friend tô ask for help, got kicked out of the class for that and for what l'd done G Reply 341 ...

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Rectangle - DoritosBig · 21h Once I was on the descent into the mountains. I don't know why, but I decided to run. I was 6 years old. As you can imagine, I could not stop, I just could not feel my legs. Out of despair, I decided to fall at great speed into the bushes. G Reply 1 161 ...

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Mammal - lizzietnz • 19h I was driving through town and saw my boyfriend walking up the road holding hands with a woman. I stopped the car and gave chase. I forgot I was wearing a chicken suit - complete with feet and beak. G Reply 1 227 3 ...

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Tagged: FAIL , askreddit , ridiculous , dumb , Reddit , funny

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Tumblr Users Overanalyze Elvish Dialects In Lord Of The Rings

Every now and again the wonderful wandering minds of the Tumblr world band together to take us down wild rabbit holes we never saw coming. In this case, we're talking about a very intense, hyper analysis of the various Elvish dialects in the Lord of the Rings universe. Tolkien honestly seems like he might've been all about researching ridiculous internet vernacular. Check out some more gold from Tumblr with this epic saga about "goat guy."

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Human - ll WiFi 12.17 O 50 % E axolola Follow penny-anna Follow Legolas pretty quickly gets in the habit of venting about his travelling companions in Elvish, so long as Gandalf & Aragorn aren't in earshot they'll never know right? Then about a week into their journey like Legolas: *in Elvish, for approximately the 20th time* ugh hobbits, so annoying Frodo: *also in Elvish, deadpan* yeah we're the worst Legolas:

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Font - penny-anna Follow *~earlier~*- Legolas: ugh hobbits Merry: Frodo what'd he say Frodo: I'm not sure he speaks a weird dialect but I think he's insulting us. I should tell him I can understand Elvish Merry: I mean you could do that but consider Merry: you can only tell him ONCE Frodo: Merry. You're absolutely right. I'll wait.

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Font - O penny-anna Follow #legolas' hick accent vs #frodo's 'i learned it out of a book' accent #FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT Legolas: umm well your accent is horrible Aragorn: *hollering from a distance* HIS ACCENT IS BETTER THAN YOURS LEGOLAS YOU SILVAN HICK Frodo: :) storywonker Follow Frodo: Hello. My name is Frodo. I am a Hobbit. How are you? Legolas: y'alld've'ff've Frodo, crying: please I can't understand what you'r saying

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Font - wizard-guff Follow Ok, but Frodo didn't just learn out of a book. He learned like... Chaucerian Elvish. So actually: Frodo: Good morrow to thee, frend. I hope we twain shalle bee moste excellente companions. Legolas: Wots that mate? 'Ere, you avin' a giggle? Fookin' 'obbits, I sware. Aragorn: *laughing too hard to walk* reformedkingsmanagent Follow @ghostriderofthearagon tiny-smol-beastie Follow dYinGggGggg...

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Font - whetstonefires Follow i mean, honestly it's amazing the Elves had as many languages and dialects as they did, considering Galadriel (for example) is over seven thousand years old. english would probably have changed less since Chaucer's time, if a lot of our cultural leaders from the thirteenth century were still alive and running things. they've had like. seven generations since the sun happened, max. frodo's books are old to him, but outside any very old poetry copied down exactly, the

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Font - so like, three to six thousand years old, maybe, which is probably a drop in the bucket of Elvish history judging by all the ethnic differentiation that had time to develop before Ungoliant came along, even if we can't really tell because there weren't years to count, before the Trees were destroyed. plus a lot of Bilbo's materials were probably directly from Elrond, whose library dates largely from the Third Age, probably, because he didn't establish Imladris until after the Last Allianc

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Font - whetstonefires Follow to over-analyse this awesome and hilarious post even more, legolas' grandfather was from linguistically stubborn Doriath and their family is actually from a somewhat different, higher- status ethnic background than their subjects. so depending on how much of a role Thranduil took in his upbringing (and Oropher in his), Legolas may have some weird stilted old- fashioned speaking tics in his Sindarin that reflect a more purely Doriathrin dialect rather than the Doriath

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Font - .it's also fairly likely considering the linguistic politics involved that Legolas is reasonably articulate in Sindarin, though with some level of accent, but knows approximately zero Quenya outside of loanwords into Sindarin, and even those he mostly didn't learn as a kid. which would be extra hilarious when he and gimli fetch up in Valinor in his little homemade skiff, if the first elves he meets have never been to Middle Earth and they're just standing there on the beach reduced to mim

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Font - audreycritter Follow Legolas: Alas, verily would I have dispatched thine enemy posthaste, but y'all'd've pitched a feckin' fit. Aragorn: *eyelid twitching* linguisticparadox Follow Frodo: *frantically scribbling* Hang on which language are you even speaking right now Pippin, confused: Is he not speaking Elvish? Frodo, sarcastically: I dunno, are you speaking Hobbit? Boromir, who has been lowkey pissed-off at the Hobbits' weird dialect this whole time: That's what it sounds like to me. Mer

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Font - Sam, a mere working-class country boy: Honestly y'all could be talkin Dwarvish half the time for all I know. sainatsukino Follow Pippin, entering Gondor and speaking to the castle steward: hey yo my man Boromir, from beyond the grave: jesus

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Font - wodneswynn Follow If I remember correctly, in the "tree of tongues" material from The Lost Road, Tolkien goes into some detail about how the reason elves have so many dialects is that elves view language as a form of collaborative art, which they delight in, so a newly-coined word or grammatical construct gets spread around just like a new song would. Elves may be immortal, but they're also immortal nerd OCs and we must never forget this kittyknowsthings Follow Thank you for this addition

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Font - kyraneko Follow So what you're saying is, they're us. They're the internet. Sending "yeet" and "smol" and "I lik the bred" all over creation until two elves who've never met in their lives and be like "beans, amirite?" and "yeah I love kitter feets too." ekjohnston Follow EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS IS BEAUTIFUL hobbits-to-isengard Follow When Merry and Pippin met Treebeard, Treebeard actually talks about how the Elves taught the Ents how to speak and also learned the language of the Ents. "The

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Font - halfwaytheremama Follow @saviorsong this post is beautiful saviorsongwrites Follow Oh my god. I love it so much!!!! Also they're talking about Finrod in that last bit. He would talk to and befriend an ant if we let him. #lotr 235.176 notes >

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Tagged: humor , tumblr , Lord of the Rings , internet , ridiculous , funny , funny tumblr

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Grandpa's BMX Skills Are Off The Charts

Yep, Grandpa's still got it. Some folks really manage to hold onto their youth as they grow older. Grandpa certainly did in terms of those crazy BMX skills.

Submitted by: (via john healy)

Tagged: impressive , biking , awesome , bmx , athletics , win

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