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Sunday, January 24, 2021

Stupid Life Pro Tips That Are Bad Ideas at Best

With just a few simple strategies, you too could look like a moron and ruin your life. Dumb and bad life pro tips will help you go out of your way to antagonize people, live a horrible life, and be sad all the time. There's no reason to not streamline your life with a few bad life pro tips to not do. What's stopping you? Other than decent judgement.

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Text - Mayne @Tradermayne How I made it $150k trading. 1- took a small loan of $300k from my dad. 2 - put it into high risk shit coins 3- lost half, got scared, decided it was ime to cash out 4 - blocked my dads number 5 - net profit of $150k secured

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Text - Tweet Sir Michael @Michael1979 Tech tip for people who aren't as tech-savvy as me: When you press the h button on your keyboard, you get a lower-case h. But what if you want an upper-case h? Easy! Just go to the wikipedia page on horses, copy the upper-case h and paste it into your document. Problem solved W Article Talk WIKIPEDIA The Free Encyclopedia Horse Fi Соpy Ctrl+C Search Google for "H" Main page Print. Ctrl+P tion). Contents 2:40 AM - Dec 19, 2019 - Twitter Web App 13.2K Retweets

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Text - Kevin Farzad @KevinFarzad Life is short. If you have a crush on someone, walk right up to them then a little past them and just keep going it's probably not worth it

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Wood - How to avoid stress at work: 1. Don't go to work.

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Joint - what to do when your car starts making noises that sound expensive 5.

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Coat - Wendy Burn @wendyburn I didn't know you could wear a coat more than once. This will save me a lot of money. C Page Six @PageSix · 3d Kate Middleton re-wears blue Alexander McQueen coat for fourth time trib.al/imzsA53

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Liquid - Need to increase your sodium intake? Buy a block of the metal from a chemical supplier and mix some into your water at every meal

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Human - Xmas tip: Put your boyfriend at the side of your family in case you need to cut him out of the picture later

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Text - Registered trademark of SexyCo @. · 1d v Give yourself permission not to be accessible at all times. Ignore that voicemail. Leave that message on read. Turn off your phone. Don't answer emails. Destroy your SIM card. Burn your house down. Disappear under mysterious circumstances.

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Blue - Quicksaving... I have a crush on you Just say it already Sorry I don't feel the same RELOAD LAST CHECKPOINT Aa

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Text - r/UnethicalLifeProTips u/Disastrous_Plankton • 47m の1 ULPT: Trying to find the perfect partner? Just tell the police someone robbed you, and when they ask for a description just describe exactly the sort of person you find most attractive- they"ll get a bunch of them in a lineup for you. 1 Vote 7 1 Share

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Green - Don't have a Bidet? Keep a water gun by the toilet for easy cleaning

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Chin - $25 worth Chris- For christmas, I got you of lottery tickets. 1 went ahead and Scratched' them off for pu. You won $2. Here is that $2. Merry Christmas! Nicole RENBRVENOTE THE UNITED STATES OFAMEI D. 5 E E 758702 E 75870211 E O ONE E 734 5

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Cheek - Man whoever stole my card thought they was finna get a meal outta me, surprise l'm broke too 8:14 7 CCHIME 3h ago Your was declined for $37.95 at Papa John's because your balance is $1.47. 35 more notifications

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Human - Pro Tip: when ice fishing, bring an action figure of yourself to exaggerate your catch

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Text - Fiona Applebum @WrittenByHanna It's not premarital sex if you never get married ツイートを翻訳 9:53 · 2019/07/23 Twitter Web App 8295件のリツイート 3.6万件のいいね Fiona Applebum Follow me for more biblical loopholes @WrittenB... 3E 3 27 27 379 >

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Indoor games and sports - Chess tip: Always sit opposite a mirror so you can sneak a look at your opponent's pieces 818

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Finger - Claudius @xclaudius Sleep Hack: Keep Your Feet Outside Your Covers By Melissa Dahl

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Motor vehicle - The lesson here is drive everywhere at 180. 50 (70 90 180

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Mode of transport - Leave full Beers all over your driveway tonight so whenu are shoveling tomorrow you can pretend it's a treasure hunt and reward yourself ! 557,201

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$Bread - 2 months ago (edited) Stupid of you to cook the bread at 350° for 55 minutes when you can just do the math and cook it at 19250° for one minute. 5.6K 1 148 148 REPLIES$

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Blue - I copied from Wikipedia 11:12 pm To avoid plagarism, I deleted that Section from Wikipedia 11:12m

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Food - PROTIP: SAVE TIME BAGGING PASTA JUSTADD GELATIN TO YOUR PASTA WATER AND LET SET. CUTINTO DESIRED PORTION SIZES, JUST DROP, INTO HOT WATER TO HEAT AND DISSOLVE GELATIN:YOU'RE WELCOMĒ.

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Font - 25m Remember that if your cpu is overheating you should run it under cold water for 5 minutes. It's called water cooling and it's what all the pros do.

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Tagged: tips , bad idea , life hacks , advice , lol , dumb , funny , shitty life hacks , stupid , internet memes

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Company Insists On Server Not Being Fixed, Massive Fallout Ensues

Some people and companies really are their own worst enemies. In this particular tale of tech support absurdity we get to sit back and witness the inevitable fallout of a company insisting that their faulty server shouldn't be fixed. This story also shows the importance of getting everything in writing. Those emails can end up being very helpful when it comes to keeping the incompetent folks accountable for their self created failures.

Check out some more tech support glory with this man who insisted that he knew better than IT and then learned otherwise.

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Blue - r/talesfromtechsupport + Join u/MorpheusJay • 1d 3 3 S 7 1 8 1 Don't want me to fix the servers? Fine. Long First time posting in this sub. Cross-posting because I was told you might enjoy this. Background - some time around 2000, I worked for a major finance/brokerage company in the IT department.

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Text - I worked the overnight shift alone and (among other things) my responsibilities included monitoring of the companies most important servers INCLUDING the trading servers as well as performing almost all repairs on these servers since my shift was the least impactful on business. These servers were how every trade from every broker worldwide was processed on behalf of clients. We had 8 servers all behind a load director. For those non-IT people, think traffic at an intersection with a cop

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Text - So at some point doing my job, I begin to notice issues with our trading servers. I determine the cause, come up with the plan to repair the failing parts. On the first night of the week, I will take down 2 servers, repair them, bring them back up, and put them back behind the load director. I will repeat this for the next 3 nights allowing all 8 servers to be repaired with minimal impact and have the last night of the week in case anything goes the way of the toilet. Understand that whil

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Text - As you can probably guess, I heard nothing back. 2 weeks later I follow up with another email reminding her of the issue and including all the documentation I had sent with the first one. Nothing. Another 2 weeks go by and I send a 2nd follow-up email noting that this isn't a question of IF these machines will fail but only a matter of WHEN. Crickets. Another 2 weeks go by. It is now about noon on Friday and I am home having just begun my weekend. I get a call that goes something like thi

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Text - Cathy: It's Cathy. Your boss. Me: OHH! Heya Cathy. What's... oh this cannot be good. (I am now realizing that my boss's boss is calling me at my house and that all the excrement must have followed an upward trajectory towards the device circulating air.) Cathy: All the trading servers have crashed. We need everyone on hand. Me: I'll be there in 20 minutes (It was usually a 35 minute drive) Basically, one server crashed and the load from that server was transferred to the remaining 7 which

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Text - I get to work Sunday night (my Monday) and the first thing I do is print out emails and those oh-so-precious read receipts. I place them in a nice folder on the corner of my desk. At 7AM Monday morning (end of my shift), Cathy walks into my office and asks me to join her in her office. I say sure and grab the folder and follow her. When we get to her office, present are me, Cathy, Dawn and a lady from HR. Cathy: So, MorpheusJay, I understand from Dawn that it is your job to monitor the tr

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Text - Me: Sure. (Opens folder) As you can see from this email dated xx/xx/xxxx, highlighted for your convenience, I notified Dawn of the problem and requested approval to go ahead with the fix. Here... (opens folder again) is the read receipt showing she read it the following morning at xx:xx AM, again, highlighted for your convenience. (Rinse and repeat for the other emails) Cathy: Ok. Thank you, MorpheusJay. Have a good night. We'll see you tomorrow morning. Fallout: The company lost a STUPID

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Tagged: tech support , FAIL , technology , ridiculous , Reddit , funny

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Unprofessional "Not My Job" Moments of Failure

Most of us will do whatever it takes to avoid doing our actual jobs. For some, it's almost a challenge to see how much we can get away with not doing. Our drive to not do any actual work leads to some impressive "not my job" moments of professional ineptitude. Toilets get installed sideways, billboards get crammed with typos, and things go awry in these "not my job" moments of professional failure.