Tuesday, January 19, 2021

People Who Aggressively Didn't Get The Joke


Most of us have a decent idea of how jokes work, or we are at least somewhat adept of seeing the signs of when something is a joke. It would be rough walking around this world just thinking everyone is stupid and wrong all the time. To further confuse the literal minded, here are some technically accurate moments that aren't wrong. And for some straight up dumbness, here are some facepalm moments from humanity's beacons of stupid.

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Yellow - WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I TELL PEOPLE I'M COLORBLIND. That's cool "points at the object WHAT COLOR IS THIS?! 1h You forgot to put yellow into the list Reply 1 -14 +

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Human body - How to slow down time Step 1: 1 Share 36.3k 289 Award SINGLE COMMENT THREAD VIEW ALL 7h This doesn't actually slow down time, it just seems slower because you doing something difficult so you're more aware of it Reply -26

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Text - Conan O'Brien O @ConanOBrien · 3h I can only imagine how slow Netflix streaming must have been while quarantining for the 1918 pandemic. O 237 27 922 12.8K Replying to @ConanOBrien There was no Netflix back then genius. 19:42 02 Aug 20 · Twitter for iPhone 6 Likes TERRY @ConanOBrien Actually there was. But you had to order it by telegram. Roughly two weeks after your request, a team of actors would arrive and play out your choice.

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Chin - If you ever ask to speak to the manager and this guy walks out, just say thank you and leave TRY OUR DELICIOUS SPECIAL LOS PULLOS 2Pe f Chcke Swpe HERTHNOS A Cy 56 8 Comments 21 Shares O Like Comment Share No, he is there to do his job And that is to hear what I have to say.He may not like it but it is his job

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Brown - NTSTONES Goodbye world Today at 10:3O PM that won't kill you

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Text - Tweet Got sad news today. After 7 years of medical training, my good friend has been struck off after 1 minor indiscretion. He slept with 1 of his patients & now can no longer work in the job he loves. What a waste of time, training & money. A genuinely nice guy, and a brilliant vet.. 6:41 AM · 12/26/20 · Twitter for iPhone 446 Retweets 49 Quote Tweets 5,700 Likes Replying to Sleeping with a patient is NOT a minor indiscretion. Glad he's gone after taking advantage of a vulnerable person.

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Product - picture taken of a black hole in a visible light spectrum. First ever No this is a cat

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Technology - NORWE Fucking racist with his confedarate flag - 4h Replying to It literally says Norway on top, holy fuck 7

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Screenshot - Michael Caine @themichaelcaine Chris Nolan has done it again. Tenet is the best action film ever. 20:48 · 27 Aug 20 · Twitter for iPhone 6.261 Retweets and comments 35,5K Likes Lo · 14h v Replying to @themichaelcaine Micheal how do you get to see the wonderful film before us the general public lol 37 8 13h He's in it 5 LC

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Colorfulness - Am I the first human to be color blind and solve a 4x4 rubik's cube? 10h But you didn't solve it Reply 4 -47

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Space - Can't believe some people stil think that moon landing was faked They don't have the helmets on

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Human - Just 3 lesbians looking at each other.. Wheres the 3rd one 3 1d Like Reply View 4 more replies

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Electronic device - AR If you ever crash your car just press this button and it'll undo the accident r This is lie. That button makes air cırcle car. Idiot liar.

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Ingredient - The manager at our local IKEA is retiring, so I sent him this cake... wheres the cake

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Green - My Girlfriend sent me a birthday gift & asked not to open untill the midnight I am so much curious I hope it's a Dog Bro it is a drum set 2 d 25 likes Reply View 1 reply

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Horse - May 25 Replying to Is your milkshake really worth it? 14 27 103 1.6K May 25 The second photo is a woodturning lathe wtf 3 27 34

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Human - Everyone Why is it when something happens it is always you three? USA America -United States 3.9k 25 Share CONTROVERSIAL COMMENTS 3h Why are you so bad at geography that you used United States, America, and USA? USA means United States of America and America is more then just the US.

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Cheek - Me coming to work at 6 am after going to bed at 2 am samon. without he.L 349 487 Comments · 78 Shares 7 Like Comment Share That is Prince Phillip.

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Tire - Electricity was invented in 1752 People before 1752; Actually cars weren't invented yet in 1752 so you're WRONG haha 45 εβδ. Απάντηση Δείτε 2 απαντήσεις

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Text - JOIN THE 2 DAY CHALLENGE! NO ALCOHOL ON FEBRUARY 30 AND 31! CAN YOU DO IT? 60 20 Comments · 22 Shares Litke לן Comment Share There is no 30 or 31 this February! Hello knock knock

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Brown - Cowboy Cow 475 41 Comments · 173 Shares O Like Comment Share Thats a f king horse

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Nose - Played four roles in one movie Played 200,000 roles in one movie with a million more well on the way * 845 57 comments • 126 shares O Like Comment Share ® Top fan Not really. Every armored clone trooper in the prequel trilogy is CGI. So he didn't actually play any of those.

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Text - Tom D'Angora O @TomDangora - 13h North Korea is going to have a Woman leader before the United States of PRO America! Let that sink in! 3.2K 27 305 1.3K Christina Sommers Following @CHSommers Replying to @TomDangora What is your point? No one votes in North Korea. 7:38 PM - 25 Apr 2020 101 Retweets 1,731 Likes 39 t7 101 1.7K REASONA Replying to @CHSommers @TomDangora Well, one person does. No. Stays in the fam and younger Sis will take over. Kim will probably show up laughing at us tomorr

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Text - + Follow 489 followers 1w. O : - 5 nov. this is how developers solve problems Cutting tennis balls in half lets you store 2 more balls, saving space 41 ti 304 2k 40 - 1 Comment Like Comment Share Send Add a comment.. Most Relevant 1w .. Junior System Engineer chez NEC Corporation Saving useless balls is no benefit man. I would rather let three working balls than break everything loool

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Nostalgic Memes From The Olden Golden Days


We're all prone to spontaneous fits of nostalgia where we find ourselves mentally entrenched in reliving the days of our youth. You know, the days when you could fearlessly stomp around your home, and then be humbled by the profound pain of a LEGO block that decided to implant itself in your foot? These nostalgic memes are sure to strike some chords. Check out some more nostalgic memes for the 80s and 90s kids over here. 

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Green - Kids these days will never know what the ultimate thumb destroyer was GameofLoans DURACELL 100% DURACELL POWERCHECKTM

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Font - CHILDHOOD MEMORY #261 BEING HIT IN THE SHINS BY THESE BASTARDS FROM HELL

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Ball - YOU CAN STILL HEAR THE SOUND THIS BALL MADE WHEN IT HIT YOU

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Knee - The most painful thing was getting whipped on the ankles by a razor Scooter RazOr

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Nature - HOT DAY+METAL SLIDE = TEMPORARY BLINDNESS AND BURNS.

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Blue - WHEN YOU FIND THE MISSING LEGO IN THE WORST WAY POSSIBLE 000 @ayerageparemtproblems

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Wood - snowyenjolras: *rides into battle on a gym class butt scooter* *runs over fingers* ffu fuKFUCK ABORT MISSION A BOR T FUCLKGJIN MISSION GODDAMMIT

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Finger - TodaysKidsWillNeverKnow You could end a MFs life with one of these.

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Text - You didn't have a childhood if you didn't put one of these bad boys under your legs in the pool and pretended you were surfing speeda mada with maado 1 Share 159 10.1k BEST COMMENTS - IttyBittyBigBoy 3h And then it shoots out of the water like a torpedo and gives you a Mike Tyson uppercut from hell.

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Display device - *Puts down gently in fear of breaking the TV* *Puts down gently in fear of breaking the table and your fingers*

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Green - Rhyaan @Rhyaan_ Some of y'all never got tricked into pulling one of these by your siblings PULL HERE SHOCK and it really shows SHOCK PULL HERE CHEWING GUM SHOCK PULL HERE CH ING OUM SHOCK PULL HERE @memezar C/ @babynanss why were these legal Imao

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The World's Most Notable Design Flaws


Someone on AskReddit got a thread going about design flaws that make it seem very obvious that the very people that design the products never actually used the products themselves. Many of us have encountered those various products that are advertised as making most everything in life easier, and then they end up being complete adversaries to that promise of an easier life. 

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Text - Brancher • 21h Here's a fun one. We just installed a bunch of new Kronos badge readers at work. The type you swipe your ID card to clock in and out. Everyone at work wears a lanyard that is attached at the top middle by a plastic strap, and your badge must always be displayed while at work. Anyway when you go to swipe your badge in the new reader the card reader slot is too deep because the lanyard attachment on your badge hits the slot and prevents you from fully swiping your ID so you h

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Text - ArtemisJQ • 21h S 1 Award I have a fan with a bright LED light that shows what setting it's on. Luckily, there's a 'sleep' mode that makes the light dimmer. Except another light comes on to let you know sleep mode is on, and that one is at full| brightness. Just... why? Reply 1 1.5k ...

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Text - Back2Bach •· 22h Friends have a doorbell that rings "dong-ding" (instead of ding-dong). It's not the wiring, but just the way the electric device was designed. Reply 1 578 ... +

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Text - willbeach8890•22h All tvs without at least the basic controls on the tv. Engineers must have forgotten the possibility of breaking or losing the remote + Reply 1 1.2k ...

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Text - theshoegazer · 20h Most job application portals on company websites. Forcing you to fill out redundant information, blanking entire forms if you miss a line or a checked box, not accepting common document formats, refusing to let you proceed without giving out sensitive information that's not appropriate for pre-interview screening (ie contact info for references). Clearly designed by people who were either recruited and never needed to navigate the website, or have been there so long, th

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Text - starcraftre · 21h My mother bought me a nose hair trimmer as a stocking stuffer. The blades ripped the hair out by the root. Reply 106 ...

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Text - Aphid61 · 21h BRAS. Straps can stretch out during a long day's wear. Whose brilliant idea was it to put the adjusters in the back where you can't see or reach them? Q Reply 1 1.3k 3 •..

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Text - Moist_Examination811 · 15h Toasters. Why oh why does the top half of the bread never fit into to it? These designers should go out , get themselves a loaf of bread & a toaster before they design another one. There doesn't seem to be any that come in a different size. Don't even get me started on the bloody elements- one side will be a light beige the other side of the toast will look like it's been toasted in a smelting factory. Reply 97 ...

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Text - edgarpickle · 19h I have to assume that people from Google use Zoom and NOT Google Meet. Reply 1 125 ...

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Cheezburger Image 9586786560

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Text - JohnnyBrillcream · 21h Hulu's GUI. Tried it for a free week, absolute crap. Figure if you have live TV you'd want to see a guide so you can see what's on live tv. Nope, they recommended shows l'd like to watch. Eventually you can get to a guide but there was no way to just select GUIDE. |Reply 1 140 3 ...

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Ancestry DNA Tests That Unearthed Family Secrets


Someone on AskReddit got a thread going about the wildest revelations that came to light after various families tried out those Ancestry DNA tests. This certainly isn't the first time that we've encountered some crazy Ancestry DNA drama. We had the one dude who ended up creating chaos in his family after purchasing one of the $99 kits. We also had that other story about a family getting completely blindsided by an emotionally shocking secret from another one of the kits. 

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Text - CatMakes3 • 5h 8 1 Award My real father and 3 half siblings-it ended up being a really good discovery. Reply 2.2k 3 ...

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Text - Freeagnt · 3h 2 e S E 11 Awards A full 100% older brother. My mother got pregnant by my father before the were married. Scandalous in 1960. So, with my father's knowledge of the situation, mom left town, and lived with my aunt until the birth. Mom gave the baby up for adoption, and then returned home. A couple years later, she married my dad and had three more children together, including me. Fifty five years later, after both my parents had died, my aunt let it slip that me and my siblin

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Text - OrangeTree81 • 4h 1 Award My male cousin did one and found a female cousin we did not know about. He reached out to her and apparently our deceased uncle was good friends with her mother. Mom wanted a baby so uncle got her pregnant simply as a sperm donor. Female cousin lived a few blocks away from my grandmother. She had met her a few times going around selling Girl Scout cookies or something. My grandmother had no idea that she was buying cookies from her granddaughter. Reply 4 1.5k ...

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Text - AgentElman • 4h 1 Award A friend discovered that her father was not really her father. Her mom had an affair and she was the result. It tore her family apart. Her "father" did not know he was not really her father. Reply 1 1.8k 3 ...

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Text - faye_okay_ • 4h My ex-husband's family were proud of their Dutch heritage and claimed to be one of the founding families of the historically Dutch Holland, MI. His ancestry results didn't show any Dutch ancestry. Instead, he had primarily English/Irish ancestry. Q Reply 2.0k 3 ...

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Text - last_to_know42· 3h Not me, My wife A few years ago my wife and I both took the 23 and me test. One of her matches came back with 23% which is high for someone non-family. She messaged him and they started talking. He was about 10 years older, said he was adopted and the only thing he knew was some basic biological info. From his age that would have put her mom at 14 but her mom never said anything about it. So the two options were her mom got knocked up young or Grandma had a secret love

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Text - sunshineykris • 3h 1 Award So, I did the health DNA one 18 months ago because I wanted to see if I had the breast cancer gene, as there is several incidences on both sides of my family. Got my results and became very confused, it claimed I had no Italian despite my father's grandma literally coming over from Sicily in 1920. It took me a few minutes to realize what that actually meant. My parents have been together since my mother was 14, I was born when she was 17, and my father joined th

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Text - pinkiea · 5h Not me, but a family friend. He did the test and found out he had a half-brother. Turns out his dad had an affair a while back, and that kid was a product of that affair. Reply 625 ...

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Text - AztecWheels • 4h 3 2 Awards I found a half sister that none of my siblings or mother knew about. My dad had an affair 50 years ago (he's dead now). For us it wasn't really a surprise, we already have a half-sister from another affair but for the newly discovered one it answered a lot of questions and gave her some needed closure. We all met a few times, it was pleasant. Reply 1 573 ...

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Text - Grave_Girl · 4h S 1 Award Found out that my brother is only my half-brother. Our parents (well, who we thought were both our parents) were never married. But my mom has insisted my whole life that my dad is my brother's dad. He never acknowledged my brother (he did me), claiming that the man my mom was living with at the time was probably his father. My mom has always said the other fellow was simply her roommate. Given that my dad was an alcoholic and chronic liar and our mom has never b

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Text - So we're left with the certainty that our mom has been wrong all these years. Again, I swear to you that this woman does not lie to make herself look better. It just doesn't occur to her. I mean, I was in elementary school when she told me I was the result of a drunken attempt to get her ex-boyfriend to leave his wife for her. This woman is really a lot more honest than she should be, by all rights. So we've actually decided not to raise the issue with her. Either she's gone 50 years not

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Text - valeyard89 · 3h My wife is adopted (but found her bio mom) and did one of the genetic tests. Someone matched with her and asked if she knew such and such a name. She found out her bio dad wasn't married to the bio mom.... it was her boss. oops. | Reply 1 240 3 ...

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Text - ameliacantlove · 4h i took a DNA test & found i am ethnically 25% Ashkenazi. After 8 months of serious digging, I found out my grandpa (my father's dad) is not my father's biological father. -- I have since came into contact with my half-uncle, he's super nice & i enjoy chatting with him. i loved learning about my bio-grandpa & the rest of the family. we haven't told them & don't plan on it. i have a small family, my mothers father had recently passed away & it was such a great comfort to

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Text - _orange-soda_ • 3h I am the family secret, family discovered their brother/ cousin/son and his wife had 3 children and gave them all up for adoption - after matching with me through a DNA test. They were shocked to say the least, but we're all pretty close now. Reply 1 85 ...

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Text - dazeyd · 3h A woman over in Chicago decided to find out who her real parents were. She was getting close to 60 and realized that there may not be much time left to find her father. So through the magic of ancestry she was matched to my grandfather. She seached out to him and told him who her mother was. He didn't recognize the name but dug up his little black book and lo and behold...there she was. So now l've got a new aunt! Reply 4 38 ...

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Xzibit Reacts To "Pimp My Ride" Horror Stories


Let us never forget the glorious, cringeworthy days of "Pimp My Ride." Xzibit sits down and reacts to some of the infamous shows most memorable fails. The show really was brimming with gems. 

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