FunnyWeb - Get Your Funniest Pix From The InterWebz!

Saturday, January 16, 2021

Exasperated Husband Buys Whole Truck Of Rice, Meltdown Ensues

You probably didn't get your day started thinking that you'd end up reading an engaging emotional rollercoaster of a tale about a family's total meltdown over a truckload of rice, but here we are. Writer Shiv Ramdas, delivers us readers a thoroughly engaging read about the kind of fallout that can ensue when you disregard your partner's requests for a certain amount of rice, and overdo the whole thing just to spare yourself the extra trips. Sounds like it doesn't shake out to be a fun scenario at all.

1.

Text - Shiv Ramdas @nameshiv OMG my brother in law, the gift that never stops giving, was tired of being sent to get rice every day so he decided buy in bulk, talked to the shop about it, wires got crossed, now there is a literal TRUCK FILLED WITH RICE outside the house and my sister is losing her shit Imfao 10:06 AM · 03 Sep 20 · Twitter Web App 49.4K Retweets 22.5K Quote Tweets 302K Likes Shiv Ramdas @nameshiv · 03 Sep 20 Replying to @nameshiv If you have never heard a woman destroy a man with

2.

Text - Shiv Ramdas @nameshiv · 03 Sep 20 To clarify, this is India so when I say truck, I don't mean SUV, IT IS A LITERAL LORRY FILLED WITH RICE 47 27 754 32.4K Shiv Ramdas @nameshiv · 03 Sep 20 Update: BIL is now negotiating with lorry driver. My requests to keep phone on speaker so I can here have been coldly rebuffed. I can however confirm that bribe has been offered and rejected. I cannot say whether this was a question of principle or price 19 27 301 22.4K Shiv Ramdas @nameshiv · 03 Sep 20

3.

Text - Shiv Ramdas @nameshiv · 03 Sep 20 Update to Drama: BIL had come in to explain that driver insists they'll have to take the rice(and pay) but midway through thouht better of it and is now negotiating with driver again. An excellent demonstration of the flight instinct in mammals when confronted with mortal peril 9 12 27 322 23.4K Shiv Ramdas @nameshiv · 03 Sep 20 Side update: They also apparently have to unload the rice themselves. 28 t7 230 18.5K Shiv Ramdas @nameshiv · 03 Sep 20 Update:

4.

Text - Shiv Ramdas @nameshiv · 03 Sep 20 Also all of you enjoying this need to join me in thanking Mom for going above and beyond the call of duty and carrying phone between locations & also relaying key info while somehow also social distancing so we can continue bringing you our live reporting on this unfolding crisis 99 17 298 27.1K Shiv Ramdas @nameshiv · 03 Sep 20 Update: BIL is making headway. Lorry driver and helper have accepted cigarettes from him. Negotiations have resumed while all 3

5.

Text - Shiv Ramdas @nameshiv · 03 Sep 20 Key Update: Cigarettes were in fact a huge strategic blunder because BIL apparently assured sis that he's definitely finally quit smoking on Sunday and in no way shape or form was supposed to have packs of cigs just there in pocket ready to be used as negotiating aid. 102 17 661 36.3K Shiv Ramdas @nameshiv · 03 Sep 20 Update: Bereft of victims for the moment, sister is now asking me if I knew about this. There may be a slight lull in updates while I swear

6.

Text - Shiv Ramdas @nameshiv · 03 Sep 20 BIL Update: Warehouse Owner still not taking calls but they have reached some chappu of his who told them to call someone called Manu, he'll take care of it. Thats all we know about him. He's Manu, this his number and he'll take care of it. He is the Mr Wolf of warehouse cockups 40 27 288 19.2K Shiv Ramdas @nameshiv · 03 Sep 20 Update: Manu is not answering the phone. 14 t7 163 15K Shiv Ramdas @nameshiv · 03 Sep 20 Update: Dad has also come outside and jo

7.

Brown - Manu is now speaking to lorry driver. Driver is getting animated. He is the real victim(I kinda agree) 27 145 17.7K Shiv Ramdas @nameshiv · 03 Sep 20 Manu is now speaking to BIL. 8 17 104 11.7K Shiv Ramdas @nameshiv · 03 Sep 20 BIL is getting animated 27 104 12K Shiv Ramdas @nameshiv · 03 Sep 20 Manu has asked to speak to lorry driver again 27 101 11.7K Shiv Ramdas @nameshiv · 03 Sep 20 Manu clearly believes in getting all sides in a conflict before coming to a decision because he is now

8.

Text - Shiv Ramdas @nameshiv · 03 Sep 20 Mom is scolding dad for demanding to speak to Manu. Dad has been banished back inside as punishment. 17 27 220 19.9K Shiv Ramdas @nameshiv · 03 Sep 20 Meanwhile Manu and BIL do not appear close to a resolution. 27 102 11.6K Shiv Ramdas @nameshiv · 03 Sep 20 Dad attemped to break curfew and come back out. He has now claimed he's done with the whole thing and doesnt care and also where the hell is dinner and he is going to room to watch news because state o

9.

Text - Shiv Ramdas @nameshiv · 03 Sep 20 BREAKING NEWS: Manu Is Coming 49 17 263 18.3K Shiv Ramdas @nameshiv · 03 Sep 20 First however, Manu obv has to talk to driver again. Manu seems to be a talker, he has lots to say to everyone. Still nothing to say to me though. Hey Manu, nobody likes a snob, you know. I'm a person too. 60 27 160 16.6K Shiv Ramdas @nameshiv · 03 Sep 20 Phone has been hung up. We are now waiting for Manu. 62 t7 109 10.6K Shiv Ramdas @nameshiv · 03 Sep 20 holy shit a lot of y

10.

Organism - Shiv Ramdas @nameshiv · 03 Sep 20 also since whats an ad break without ads, I talk about storytelling, humour etc here: Shiv Ramdas is creating writing/journalism and communities | Patreon patreon.com 9 44 27 470 12.7K Shiv Ramdas @nameshiv · 03 Sep 20 Update: Manu called again. He is lost and needs directions. 23 27 130 12.9K Shiv Ramdas @nameshiv 03 Sep 20 Mom is making everyone eat food while we wait. Ironically there is no rice on menu. O 78 t7 434 25.7K

11.

Text - Shiv Ramdas @nameshiv · 03 Sep 20 Update: Mom just called back. I think Manu may have arrived. O 31 27 99 10.3K Shiv Ramdas @nameshiv · 03 Sep 20 Ok we're outside(sorry bout delay, but we're dependent on mom who DGAF about anyone during dinner, even Manu) O 19 17 106 12.1K Shiv Ramdas @nameshiv · 03 Sep 20 Since I know I cared about this and was wondering, Manu kinda looks disappointingly average. He's just normal, random desi uncle in shirt pant. Sad! 47 t7 142 13.5K Shiv Ramdas @nameshi

12.

Text - Shiv Ramdas @nameshiv · 03 Sep 20 BIL just played the "are you married" card. This is escalating. Manu's sense of husbandly empathy has been invoked. 25 t7 262 17.6K Shiv Ramdas @nameshiv · 03 Sep 20 It turns out Manu is indeed married. BIL is visibly relieved. 19 27 104 13K Shiv Ramdas @nameshiv · 03 Sep 20 Lorry Driver wants them both to know that he too is married. 25 17 253 21K Shiv Ramdas @nameshiv · 03 Sep 20 In a tragic twist, Lorry Drivers marriage was not deemed worthy of discuss

13.

Text - Shiv Ramdas @nameshiv · 03 Sep 20 Apparently compromise is that if BIL buys some sacks of rice* and then Manu will make the rest just go away. *Number under negotiation 35 27 121 12.6K Shiv Ramdas @nameshiv · 03 Sep 20 Manu has opened aggressively with a you take half I take half offer. BIL has counetered by pointing out in that case Manu will need to take him too 93 27 177 12.9K Shiv Ramdas @nameshiv · 03 Sep 20 BIL is now saying he can do 10 bags but does Manu want a bottle of scotch th

14.

Text - Shiv Ramdas @nameshiv · 03 Sep 20 The lorry driver has shared that he however, would rather like a bottle of whisky. He is also willing to accept rum. He's accomodating like that. 23 17 188 17.8K Shiv Ramdas @nameshiv · 03 Sep 20 Manu has informed him he won't be getting anything of the sort. Lorry driver looks unhappy 69 27 122 12.1K Shiv Ramdas @nameshiv · 03 Sep 20 Lorry driver is no longer speaking up when Manu wants him to chime in. Heel turn. O 31 27 112 11.7K Shiv Ramdas @nameshiv

15.

Text - Shiv Ramdas @nameshiv · 03 Sep 20 Update: Mom is not going to bed just yet, I invoked this ridiculously large audience and it swayed her. I think she may be judging y'all for caring this much about rice, but she's been judging me my whole life too, you'll be fine 169 t7 526 31.9K Shiv Ramdas @nameshiv · 03 Sep 20 Neighbour Uncle has emerged wearing kurta pajama. He wants to solve the problem himself. 40 t7 212 14K Shiv Ramdas @nameshiv · 03 Sep 20 Neighbour Uncle has unemerged because he

16.

Text - Shiv Ramdas @nameshiv · 03 Sep 20 They are now shaking hands. I believe we may have an accord. 88 27 129 11.2K Shiv Ramdas @nameshiv · 03 Sep 20 Final terms: 23 bags, one bottle Old Monk, one bottle scotch*. Everyone is exhausted. * Lorry driver is the best fucking negotiator of the lot O 170 17 554 27.8K Shiv Ramdas @nameshiv · 03 Sep 20 ITS NOT OVER OH GOD NOW WHO WILL UNLOAD 23 BAGS ARGUMENT HAS STARTED O 144 17 303 15.8K Shiv Ramdas @nameshiv · 03 Sep 20 Lorry driver is sick of this s

17.

Text - Shiv Ramdas @nameshiv · 03 Sep 20 Manu's work is done. He is leaving. This is not the only crisis he needs to solve tonight, no doubt. No rest for the elite specialist Q 77 27 198 17.2K Shiv Ramdas @nameshiv · 03 Sep 20 Neighbour Uncle has re-emerged, now wearing mask. Q 44 t7 122 11.6K Shiv Ramdas @nameshiv · 03 Sep 20 BIL just asked Neighbour Uncle to help with bags. I don't think I've ever seen a senior citizen walk home that fast. 56 t7 264 19.8K Shiv Ramdas @nameshiv · 03 Sep 20 Corr

Submitted by:

Tagged: twitter , social media , food

Share on Facebook

Plumber Accidentally Spawns Waking Lovecraftian Nightmare

Now that's a fun day on the job. This plumber was clearly just trying to help some folks out at a roadside motel, and little did he know that he'd go on to craft nothing short of a waking Lovecraftian nightmare. One can only imagine the look of pure shock and terror that must've fallen upon the poor guest that saw said nightmare creep through the shower. A definite hilarious fail.

1.

Green - lullabyforavirgin S iwasgoingtohellanyw... •.. catchymemes Follow Malgayne 19h 2 When my grandfather was young he owned a roadside motel, and my mother used to do work around the motel for the family. The building was old and they had bad pipes, so visits from the plumber were a fairly regular occurrence over there.

2.

Text - At one point they had a clogged toilet after a guest checked out, so they called the plumber to come and clean it out. The plumber came in with his bag of gear and set to work, but the clog was stubborn. After a few tries, he decided he needed to get the snake. I don't know if you've ever seen a serious plumbing snake, but the big ones are a sight to behold. This isn't a little crank auger, it's a full-on electrical powered snake with a big motor on the back and a little grabby claw on th

3.

Text - So he fires up the snake and sends the metal coil down into the pipes with the claw closed, figuring whatever's down there he'll just bump it a bit, push it down the pipes until it clears - but this doesn't happen either. Finally, in frustration, he twists the control to open the mechanical claw at the end of the coil, closes it on something, throws the motor in reverse and starts to pull it back up. By now a couple of members of the staff have gathered in the room to try and figure out w

4.

Text - Finally, after an extended wait, the object is slowly dragged, sopping wet, out of the toilet bowl - and it's a shower curtain. The staff is dumbfounded. They're trying to figure out how this could have happened. It would be weird enough if the guest had ripped the shower curtain down and flushed it down the toilet, but the shower curtain in the room is still there. It would be even weirder if the guest had brought their own shower curtain to the motel and tried to flush it down the toile

5.

Text - While they're discussing this, the room phone rings. The person on the other end is screaming, hysterical, so it takes a few minutes for them to figure out that it's the housekeeper who was cleaning the rooms. After a few moments, they manage to get the story out of her: The snake had missed the clog entirely. Rather than spiraling down into the plumbing where it was intended to go, it had wound its way into the central line, and then back up the pipes in the room next door. It spiraled i

6.

Text - housekeeper watched in horror, a metal claw opened on the end of it and snagged the shower curtain, ripped it off the bar ring-by-ring, spun it around the room until it was coiled tightly around the cable, and dragged it back down into the toilet bowl. The actual clog was never found. 10980 spottytonguedog Follow This is legit the best thing l've read all day.

7.

Text - umbrellanumber5 Follow Not fandom related but the ending had me laughing actual tears bogcreature64 Follow best thing i've reblogged to date

Submitted by:

Tagged: plumber , FAIL , tumblr , ridiculous , lovecraftian , funny tumblr

Share on Facebook

Absolutely Epic Storytelling By Rob From Cyanide & Happiness

Nothing gets the reader going like a good old fashioned "choose your own adventure" story. This particular adventuresome tale by Rob from Cyanide & Happiness is as well written as it is comically absurd. You've got to hand it to Rob for really keeping the readers on their toes with all the twists we witness with a very loyal and helpful, Tim Cruise. That dragon never stood a chance.