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Wednesday, December 30, 2020

Unwanted Moments of Failure and Chaos

As we trudge through life, we're met with almost too many flavors of chaos. It seems like anything can go wrong down to the last minute detail. Ovens can shatter, cans of paint can explode all over your car, and pipes can freeze. A crowbar can go through your tire, a tree can fall into your kitchen, and your dog can eat a bee. The moments of failure and chaos never end, but luckily they don't happen all at once.

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3. Forgetting cash in an envelope before shredding

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5. Accidentally ordering one brussels sprout instead of 1 kg

Leaf - BRUSSELS SPROUTS E/kg kg 1. 20 0.034 0.04

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7. When your trampoline gets thrown into a tree by partying neighbors

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9. exploded pillow

Green - AWARNING ARVERTISSEMENT AADVERTENCIA

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11. Hair dye allergy

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Finger - HAPPY BIRTHDAY BLOCKBUSTER THE SPOTLIGHT'S ON YOU! RELOADABLE GIFT CARD

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Automotive tail & brake light - NTER EREY 16. 02.47

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20. Paint puddle on the freeway

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Produce - Taqueria de la Suerte 1x Guacamole $11.20 1x Pollo Tacos $13.60 EGO

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Tagged: Sad , chaos , failure , horrible , wtf , destruction , lol , mess , mistake , funny

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Tumblr Post: The Batman x Avatar Crossover We Need

Every now and again the wonderful and wandering minds of Tumblr take their heads out of the clouds to drop some serious gems on the rest of the world. In this case, we have a wildly unexpected crossover that melds the seemingly different yet surprisingly similar universes of Bruce Wayne and Zuko from Avatar the Last Airbender. Let's just say that we'd love to see something happen with this. But obviously we're not that lucky.

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Text - 1:17 damianwaynerocks Follow ok but if bruce wayne somehow came upon zuko fresh out of banishment he would lose his mind. black hair? check. bad parent(s)? check. trauma? double check. bruce: how'd you get your scar? zuko: my dad got mad at me for saying that killing people is wrong so he lit my face on fire and banished me. bruce, vibrating with excitement, already pulling adoption papers from his utilility: that's terrible. how do you feel about capes. explorerrowan Follow Zuko: Do you

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Text - phantoms-lair Follow Okay, but you're missing the best part of this. Alfred and Iroh complimenting each other on tea while they discuss their overly dramatic children. damianwaynerocks Follow iroh: once, i told zuko that he needs to work on his inter turmoil. he screamed at me that he had no such inner turmoil, and then proceeded to go to a cliff during a thunderstorm to scream at God to strike him with lightning alfred: master bruce and i have that interaction at least three times per we

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Colorfulness - 1:18 damianwaynerocks Follow excellent addition whetstonefires Follow hey bruce spent a lot of his bat-study abroad in the far east and has kind of a weeb weapon collection so proposal, what if Bruce appreciates Iroh's tea while Zuko is enthusiastic about cream and sugar further fueling their dad-figures' passive-aggressive rivalry? princesscolumbia Follow You had me at Zuko vs. Joker, I was crying by the Eastern vs. Western tea service overlord-puffin Follow Wait a minute. Batman

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Hair - autisticsansa Follow Saw the last comment and my brain would not rest until it happened Darth Vader wears all black and a cape Burn scars Has Mark Hamill As an arch- Nemesis Batman Zuko Antihero w/ parental Issues darrenpillowscriss Follow Okay, was anybody going to tell me that Mark Hamill voiced Fire Lord Ozai or was I just supposed to find that out in a tumblr post about Batman adopting Zuko? ice-dispenser Follow this post has everything #Batman #Zuko #A:tLA #Mark Hamill #Uncle Iroh #A

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Tagged: tumblr , comics , Avatar the Last Airbender , batman , funny , funny tumblr

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Epic Tumblr Story Captures Earth's Wildlife Through Aliens' Eyes

So basically, it's stories like the gem that we have with this one from Tumblr that prove that earth might seem easily conquerable, but there's an unanticipated punch waiting to be unleashed underneath the surface. Who knows? Maybe we already have alien homies hanging out in the ocean or something. There is apparently something like 90% of that big ol blue that has yet to be explored. Could be a whole party happening down there.

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Text - giraffepoliceforce I really want a science fiction story where aliens come to invade earth and effortlessly wipe out humanity, only to be fought off by the wildlife. They were expecting military resistance. They weren't counting on bears. splintercellconviction Imagine coming to a hostile alien world and being attacked by a horde of creatures that can weigh up to 3 tons, run at 30 km/h (19 mph), and bite with a force of 8,100 newtons (1,800 lbf). By the time you realise that they can trav

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Text - skeletonmug Imagine being the next crew to go down to earth and thinking "it's fine, we got this. We have the weapons and equipment necessary to deal with bears and *shudders* hippopotamuses. We'll be fine." And at first you are, you've learned how to dodge. You've learned where their territories are. You know how to defend yourself. But then one night you are sleeping in your shelter. You're in a tree covered temperate part of earth. It seems benign. There are been no sightings of the dr

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Text - Blood drips from your wounds and already they itch with the sign of infection. The creature has a bloodied snout, rust rad, mingling with the black and white hairs. It lets out a terrifying growl from the back of its throat and looks to attack again. It's between you and your knife, so your only choice is to back away. Eventually the creature gives up and snuffles off in to the undergrowth, down a hole near your shelter you hadn't noticed before. When you make it back to your base you onc

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Text - ohgodhesloose The invasion is going slowly. The humans have caught on and are actively destroying information on the planet's flora and fauna before Intelligence can capture and process it. All that they have are survivors' accounts. Bears. Hippos. Badgers. Moose. It is becoming obvious this mudball planet is a full-on Death World to the unprepared, and you are so very unprepared. You lost Jaxurn to a plant. Not even a mobile or carnivorous plant, just one that caused a vicious allergic r

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Text - from the smell the quarantine officer interrogated the humans. From them, a glimmer of hope: there was a cure. Somehow the juice of a certain fruit on this mudball was the only thing that could break up the chemicals in the little horror's spray. Immediately the Q.O. sent a team to recover buckets of the stuff and made you bathe in it. That was hours ago and it didn't seem to be working, though. All it was doing was turning your blue skin an interesting shade of purple. Sighing in frustra

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Text - light it could gather. It had fangs as long as his grasping digits. Claws half that size formed curved hooks that allowed it to climb up their fortifications with impunity. And in the underbrush, its spots made it almost impossible to see clearly in the undergrowth, if it could be seen at all. Even the native sentients, the humans, had a healthy respect and fear for it. The earth natives called the monster a leopard. It was a constant fear that muddied the senses, and let the monster hunt

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Text - domesticated. Harmless." The troops were not-quite-looking at her in the way troops do when they don't want to be seen to contradict a ranking officer, but can't quite muster a correct Expression of Enthusiastic Assent. "The name of this species," she pointed out, "is synonymous with dullness and slowness in the language of the Earth barbarians." Well, one language out of several thousand-these creatures needed Imperial guidance more than any other world on record-but there was no point i

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Text - forced guide, a prisioner, had warned with a chilling grin upon capture. "If you think a moose is bad, wait until you tango with a red back." To this day Tar'van fears the creature known as the red back, and what horrors it would bring. The prisioner turned out to be of little help,the stubboness of his people causing them to refuse the danger that the captured human warned of. Tar'van recalls a moment when one of his squad members approached a creature know as a dingo, insistent they had

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Text - "That creature cannot possibly harm us." Tar'van's squadleader protests. "It is so docile. I will aproach it and bring back it's head to show this human is a fearmongering liar." The human reels back, a look of disgust crosses their face and anger passes through their eyes. "Fucking do it mate, I dare ya." The human hisses. The squad leader puffs up their hoinn gland, a sign of pride to their species, and aproached the so called 'Kangaroo'. "This will be unpleasant." A squadmate mutters a

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Text - "Please," Tar'van bags. "Get us back safely." miracufic @kryallaorchid, you guys really lost a war to emus? Why was it necessary? kryallaorchid oh, mate, you never mess with the emus. kawaguardian (Jesus christ. Dont get us started on kangaroos) They had faced Emu's. They had lost one in the battle but had experienced them. But this was no emu. Looking to their guide, they all stare in horror as his face changes from calculating to fear. Pure, heart consuming horror as he stares at the la

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Text - paksenarrion-reader "Listen up, troops. This armour upgrade has been tested both in the laboratories of the best Imperial military scientists and in the field. We are impervious to the stings of any insect on this hellhole of a planet, striped or not! We can brave the perils of its wildlife, and conquer it at long last! Revenge for our fallen companions! Glory to the Emperor!" "Excuse me," the native Terran guide speaks up in a tired tone, and the squad's cheers die on their lips. "This i

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Text - undisguised horror. The insects aren't even stinging. They simply keep moving, one atop the other, and the soldier's body temperature is slowly rising until he drops to the ground, quite literally cooked alive. The insect swarm takes off, unharmed save for the ones that were crushed when the trooper fell. Finally asked about what happened, the human sighs. "Japanese honeybees. They do this to wasps, too." murkymuse "How?" You ask. "How has your species dominated this planet?" The human ba

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Text - They simply keep moving, one atop the other, and the soldier's body temperature is slowly rising until he drops to the ground, quite literally cooked alive. The insect swarm takes off, unharmed save for the ones that were crushed when the trooper fell. Finally asked about what happened, the human sighs. "Japanese honeybees. They do this to wasps, too." murkymuse "How?" You ask. "How has your species dominated this planet?" The human bares its teeth. A smile, they call it. Something humans

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Text - - HG Wells, The War of the Worlds,1898 catbountry I'm picturing aliens going up against a hoard of Canadian geese, or a swan. I think at that point they'd just give up. invaderdrey Or fire ants eeyore9990 No one even MENTIONED snakes yet... breelandwalker This thing gets better EVERY FUCKING TIME I SEE IT. imfeelingthelove They had brought along a human guide, because they had realized that the land was impossible to traverse without a native. The last squad to walk into the area without

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Text - like it. The human guide hadn't been helpful. The squad members all took the human's words very seriously, and the human had been taking advantage of that. "Careful," the human gasped, and every squad member froze. "See that?" it pointed at a small rodent-like animal that had long ears. "It's poisonous. Just one touch and you'll die instantly." "What is it called? Are there many of them?" a squad member asked fearfully. The human nodded seriously. "It's called a bunny. They are everywhere

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Text - Sle'thir nodded and turned to the squad members. "Time to head out," he called. "Why, are there bunnies around?" Another said back sarcastically, and promptly sat on the ground. The human had warned them. They barely survived, and none of them came out without a gouged eye or missing finger, save the human. They ran back to the settlement, leaving their dropped gear and sprinting away from the pond. Sle'thir knew he would have nightmares about swans forever. misheancolchester It was only

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Text - The scratch began to fester and ooze. His strength was sapped and the medic could offer no cure. In order to cool his feverish body he went outside to breathe. He needed to clear his head which was delirious with fever and pain. He stumbled and fell, the edges of his vision blurred. Then he saw it, between the trees, low to the ground, it's tongue tasting the air, and it's eyes dark, and unfathomably evil. It heaved it's scaly body towards him. The humans word for it floated across his mi

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Text - muscle the human had called a bear? There was no howling, and Tau knew his sense of hearing was far sharper than the human's, so it couldn't be a "wolf," whatever that was. They weren't near the water, so the huge "killer whale" was out (thank Her Majesty's Divine Providence for that - Tau didn't want to get anywhere near one of those.) He refocused as the laughter continued. It must be related to the task at hand. The human had told them that the minerals the Xenkir needed to survive cou

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Text - related to the task at hand. The human had told them that the minerals the Xenkir needed to survive could be found under the ground, and that holes often opened up for easy access. The troops were low on sustenance, and when Tau saw one of these holes he leapt for it with his extractor ready. The limb was now 3 krlle deep into the tunnel, but... "Human!" Tau'Hvelr snapped, "why are you laughing!?" The human slowly stopped, wiped liquid from their ocular socket, and said "Because l've been

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Tagged: nature , epic , Aliens , tumblr , awesome , story , earth

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