Saturday, December 26, 2020

People Share What Ruined Their Christmas


Christmas can really take it out of you. If you have uncooperative family members, forcing everyone into the same room with a whole lot of expectations and spiked eggnog can be a recipe for a real bad Christmas. There were a lot of reasons to have a bad Christmas, and it can be way worse than just getting a weird gift.

1.

Text - Itsallover_ 1.7k points · 12 hours ago · edited 1 hour ago I work at an airport and we have to have a badge that lets us in the gates, tarmac, etc. Lost it, lost my drivers license, and my United Airlines I.D badge.

2.

Text - Toren8002 1.2k points · 13 hours ago I'm highly allergic to dogs. My entire extended family loves dogs. To be fair, this is what ruins my Christmas nearly every year.

3.

Text - itsabeautifulsky 1.0k points · 12 hours ago My dad is a mail carrier and has been having to work 12 hour days ever since cyber monday. Forced to work overtime, on sundays, etc. People at the post office are literally working 80 hour weeks. They're constantly there sorting packages literally 24 hours a day. I know it's silly to complain about having too much business, but the mail service workers are severely overworked in this season. It's not much fun to celebrate a holiday that makes yo

4.

Text - clarice-mstarling 227 points · 8 hours ago Had a fight with my grandma and aunt where they kept telling me that I am being brainwashed at university and they are proud of themselves for only finishing high school, otherwise they would be idiots like me. Fun times as usual.

5.

Text - enormoussolid 351 points · 7 hours ago Doctor here I worked Christmas day which is fine, but what wasn't fine was a patient who came in pretending to have pain and telling us that opiates and benzos are the only thing that work for her. To really play up the 'pain' she screamed at the top of her lungs. For 3 hours straight. When we finally managed to make it particularly clear that we weren't giving her drugs she suddenly didn't have pain anymore and stopped screaming, stood up, and storm

6.

Text - 37-pieces-of-flair 198 points · 10 hours ago edited 1 My sister. Spent a LOT of time praising herself for the gifts she got everyone. Wash, rinse, repeat. For f*ck's sake, it was 3 boxes of Peeps marshmallow candy and a stuffed Peeps duck that you found at Goodwill. That you gave to a 71 year-old man. It's not a goddamn kidney transplant!! I should've just chugged a bottle of wine before we even opened gifts.

7.

Text - xClovis7 32.3k points · 13 hours ago & 3 2 My cousins got a mini bounce house and it popped with like 10 kids inside all under 8. The amount of crying broke my eardrums

8.

Text - emlovescoffee 23.5k points · 11 hours ago 2 S My mother in law tried to feed my eldest child mango, which she's been allergic to for the past 11 years. My eldest said "what are you doing??!! Grandma I'm allergic!" Grandma said "it'll be okay, it's Christmas." Um, no. Food allergies don't take Christmas off you idiot.

9.

Text - KyooTeaPie 19.4k points · 11 hours ago Me. Was invited to a lovely dinner by my boss with his extended family. Everything went amazingly well, even though I was nervous. I didn't drink anything due to medications, yet still managed to vomit profusely all over his car when he was giving me a ride home.

10.

Text - roboticsandhookers 13.1k points · 14 hours ago 3 A Everyone forgot I'm allergic to nuts.

11.

Text - enternameher3 12.6k points · 10 hours ago 2 A... My fiance canceled the wedding

12.

Text - joey_kbt 12.3k points · 13 hours ago O S My cousin stole my $250 and once she got caught said: "But I need it and OP (Me) is too spoiled anyways." She then proceeded to get half of it after crying a fit and refused to give it back until she got some and after all that I still don't know why her parents don't punish her since there actually half decent.

13.

Text - kingOWisco 11.3k points · 14 hours ago 3 2 Awar... Got the flu. Shit my way to Xmas morning

14.

Text - easilybored1 9.7k points · 13 hours ago I got my boyfriend a model kit. He called it cheap and said it probably wasn't even worth his time to assemble and then told me later on not to let it discourage me from buying things.

15.

Text - babaeatlalaki 8.9k points · 13 hours ago The power went off and never came back on. We had Christmas dinner at McDonald's. All the food was ruined.

16.

Text - jmp_jsp 6.8k points · 13 hours ago 3 Everyone caught the flu. No one was spared. One by one my family members are falling ill and all of their post Christmas plans are crumbling like so many gingerbread cookies.

17.

Text - 12 hours ago · edited 4 hours a KnotHopeless 5.7k points Found out my family actually had a Christmas party. A few days ago I got a card and directions to a charity dinner, I figured that was their way of telling they weren't doing anything this year. Apparently it was actually their way of telling me I wasn't invited.

18.

Text - everybodylovesmemore 4.7k points · 13 hours ago · edited. My brother picking a fight with my sister over who won WWII. He was wrong and she refused to agree with him. We left when he started yelling. My sister has a degree in political science and her teaching credential in World History and Geography.

19.

Text - OhioMegi 4.6k points · 13 hours ago It was suggested that I drive 4 hrs round trip to pick up my grandmother for the day. We live the furthest away and I guess I can spend all that time doing it because I'm single with no kids. Luckily my mother shot that down, but it pisses me off just thinking about how it's fine for me, but not other family that's in the same fucking town.

20.

Text - Ohm_B 3.8k points · 14 hours ago Great aunt got deported, and I got a fucken cup stuck in my garbage disposable.. like wtf

21.

Text - Dopecombatweasel 2.6k points · 13 hours ago My child yeeted a brand new nintendo switch controller into the wall by accident trying to shake it to fling super mario's hat in Odyssey.

22.

Text - MaximumPlant 2.3k points · 14 hours ago Family, thank god I had to work it was a nice escape

23.

Text - mrsstressedmom 2.1k points · 13 hours ago My 5 year old looked at all his Christmas presents 3 days before Christmas, and the dog peed on the tree, which also got on many gifts.

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Dad Gets Fired For BS Reason, Plays The Long Game


This one definitely qualifies as a pro revenge. The dad apparently got fired for a total BS reason, but ended up being the one in charge in the long run, and on top of that was able to take the extended family on a cruise!

1.

Text - r/ProRevenge u/dromio05 • 22h + JOIN Dad gets fired for BS reasons, plays the long game, ends up in charge, takes the extended family on a cruise My dad had worked at the same company for almost 30 years before he was abruptly fired for compete bullshit. He was coordinating an upcoming meeting of people who had to fly in from around the country. One important participant resigned unexpectedly, so Dad cancelled the meeting via email and explained why. Apparently that counted as "improperly

2.

Text - This was about ten years ago, near the height of the recession. Dad was in his 50s, hadn't interviewed for a job since the early 1980s. He wasn't sure he'd ever find another job. My mom went back to work at a school to pay the bills, while Dad scraped together what he could doing some shitty online consulting gigs for basically minimum wage. They managed to keep their heads above water, but only barely.

3.

Text - Dad was out of work for a year and a half. He finally landed a job at a new company three states away, coincidentally about an hour away from where my wife and I lived and were expecting Dad's first grandchild. Mom and Dad moved to live about 20 minutes away from us. They had paid off the mortgage on their house, so they decided to keep it and rent it out, planning to retire there in a few years. New Company treated Dad very well. Better salary than he'd made at Old Company, good benefits

4.

Text - Dad mentioned a few things about his time at Old Company to his new bosses. Nothing confidential or anything, more like overall strengths and weaknesses. Of course, the story of how he got fired came out as well. It turns out that when you work at a company for over 25 years you learn a thing or two about how it works, and "cutting costs" by firing experienced employees can make your company vulnerable. New Company started to get very interested. They saw an important business opportunity

5.

Text - A couple years later, New Company bought Old Company. They were both big companies, and mergers of this size take time, but when the dust settled it was clear there were "redundancies" - divisions and products that both companies had that New Company only needed one of. They kept as many of Old Company's people as they could, and very few lost their jobs. Except, of course, for the people responsible for firing Dad. New Company put Dad in charge of the building he used to work in at Old C

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Comedy Gems From The Wild World Of Tumblr


If there's one thing we know for sure, it's that the wonderfully creative minds of the Tumblr community never leave us disappointed. These comedy gems won't fail to get a laugh or two out of you. 

1.

Text - actuallyjuststealingmemes E skeletor-the-bitch Follow kaijuno I hit a pothole (a Michigan pothole so basically a sinkhole) today and my check engine light came on. I don't have one of those computer plugins to reset the light and I knew it was just a sensor that got knocked so I was just like "well let's see if this works" and on the way home I swerved and hit the pothole again and the check engine light turned off nonlinear-nonsubjective Welcome to PURE /ICHIGAN Source: kaijuno

2.

Text - galaxyslime swear words are illegal now. if you say one you'll be fined. breadisticks heck galaxyslime you're on thin fucking ice galaxyslime oh no

3.

Text - hazelbeewitched i like the idea of having a step-by-step schedule (like breakfast at x time, study at x time, etc.) but who's gonna regulate that shit? me? that bitch is a toddler Source: hazelbeewitched

4.

Text - fuschious My sister just walked into my room, grunted "oil" and promptly collapsed on the floor the-german-russian-skinwalker Fuck she got possessed by america Source: fuschious

5.

Text - taxevader69 Mom > Rather than call it Socialism, let's just call ît what it is... valuing human life over corporate profits. wow ok my mom is ready to be the ceo of antifa ovverwwhelmed kitbulls comrade mom kitbulls WAIT. MOMRADE.

6.

Text - sepulchritude You can tell how someone's mental health is doing by paying attention to how much emphasis they put on the line “I sometimes wish l'd never been born at all" when they're singing bohemian rhapsody

7.

Bird - blessedimagesblog Stop scrolling, bet you've never seen a baby toucan Blessed Toucan

8.

Text - meaninglessmonicker: "Jesus' comes from a shortening of the Hebrew version of the name Joshua, while "Christ' simply means 'the anointed one.' To make this clearer to modern Christians, I propose a new Bible translation where Jesus is referred to only as "oily Josh" Source: meaninglessmonicker 37,736 notes

9.

Text - goblinparty I'm constantly torn between the 'be kind to everyone' and the 'fuck everyone you owe them nothing' mentalities armadillobear Do no harm but take no shit chronicallywild DO NO HARM BUT TAKE NO SHIT

10.

Cat - blackandwhOte-deactivated201911 #Soviet submarine breaking through the ice. - Arctic Ocean 1942. 79,140 notes

11.

Text - generalgrievousdatingsim i like how the phrase "sworn nemesis" implies the existence of more casual nemeses generalgrievousdatingsim you're her nemesis i'm her sworn nemesis we are not the same Source: generalgrievousdatingsim

12.

Text - A tilthat TIL The chances of us eating even one spider in our sleep throughout our lifetime is close to 0% via reddit.com strongbowdarkfruit did something happen to Spiders Georg O itsaarnie R.I.P. Spiders George 2013-2017 ifightformyfriends He was an outlier. But he counted. Source: tilthat

13.

Text - killerkitty707 "Yoink" is the opposite of "Yeet" wierdrocks But it's just as fast viewtiful-kim The Lord yeeteth and the Lord yoinketh away

14.

Text - I carry a picture of my nemesis to always fill me with vengeance backyardbottomslash there is a DIFFERENCE between two characters who just hate each others guts and are abusive and bad for each other and two characters who are RIVALS and are LOCKED in BATTLE but have a DEEP SEATED RESPECT FOR EACH OTHER and MIXED FEELINGS and perhaps even some FONDNESS? some TENDERNESS? beercheesecasserole Batman and joker vs Doofenshmirtz and Perry the Platypus backyardbottomslash this post was about the

15.

Text - wivernryder How in hell do you get "Dick" from "Richard"? mttheww you ask him nicely amandaexmachina I needed ibuprofen after this.

16.

Text - candyredterezii honestly saying “oh it comes with lore" about anything that has text explaining the use and or contents is one of the funniest th candyredterezii ehnoshima *looks at the instructions on my ramen package* oh lore?

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Student Gets Back at Thieving Roommate with Booby Trap USB


A bad roommate can make your home a living hell. When this student noticed their roommate was stealing their stuff, things got serious. This sort of strategy happens with food too, like this guy who ended up baking a cake full of habeneros. 

1.

Text - r/ProRevenge Posted by 2 3 Awards f. u/rayrayrex 19 hours ago Think you can steal my stuff and get away with it? Good luck studying for exams with a broken laptop Back in my first year of college, I used to live in a residence on campus with 3 other dudes. Two of them were cool (shout out to Bdawg and Al) but the third named David had a nasty habit of taking things that weren't his and mysteriously forgetting that the objects had fallen into his possession.

2.

Text - Of the items he had stolen and were subsequently found in his room included food/snacks, notebooks, vapes, and earbuds (albeit cheap ones). We'd all complained to our RA, but since they were such small items, we were told that we should just have a "house meeting" and talk about it with David to have the problem fixed. We had two of those, where he claimed "it all looks so similar, how am I supposed to know which is mine?". Considering that we all kept our shit in our rooms this was obvio

3.

Text - Knowing nothing would happen unless I took action, I planned my revenge. I shelled out around $80 for something similar to this bad boi. It was a USB device that once plugged into an unsecured USB port, fried the computer by building a charge and dispersing it into the port, pretty much destroying the CPU among other parts. Now obviously I wasn't going to plant this anywhere, but I had to make it seem like this was a tool and not some sort of set-up. So I'd roped Bdawg and Al in on my pla

4.

Text - With them roped in, the last thing to do was wait and see if David had learned his lesson. It took all of 3 days, but expectedly David did not learn his lesson. I was at the library when this happened, but David had decided that this sexy USB would be the perfect addition to his collection of stolen wares, so he went into my room and took it. Big mistake. I got a Snapchat from Bdawg that David was going postal and I needed to get back asap. I high tailed it and when I got near our residen

5.

Text - Admittedly I should have held my composure better, but I laughed in that mofo's face. I told him that the USB was clearly labeled with my name on my desk in my room and I was using it to test whether my computer ports were secured from devices such as this. Screaming ensued from him, after which our RA showed up (heard that shit fest from down the hall) and asked what the hell was happening. I stayed quiet to let David attempt to lie his way out of this, but holy fuck the dumbshit kept to

6.

Text - When we got there and explained our stories, campus police had none of David's shit. They told him that 1. He cannot sue me since this was not a trap, but a security tool that was within my own living space, of which he had no right entering to **steal** from and 2. He was being relocated to the shitty single residences on the other side of campus, and if they caught wind of this again he was getting banned for life from res as well as receiving a Non-Academic offence (a nice little chat

7.

Text - The three of us enjoyed the rest of the semester with an extra bedroom for storage space (AND BEER PONG) which was definitely a win. As for David, I've only ever seen him in the cafeteria/library on occasion, sitting there studying. without his laptop. TL:DR - Shitty roommate steals our stuff and gets a shocking surprise that decimates his laptop.

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