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Sunday, November 1, 2020

Company Tries Selling Printing Supplies to Printing Company

Cold calls for unnecessary services are a pain, but these people put themselves in a no-win situation. They must be pretty bored at the call center t try this hard to sell printing supplies to a printing company. For some professional time wasting, here's a guy who sent a scammer on a crazy ride.

1.

Text - Posted by u/nenepp 3 days ago O 6 2 3 23 You won't stop cold calling a printing company to sell us printing unless I agree to set up a meeting with one of your reps? OK then. oc L I'm not sure if this quite counts as malicious compliance but I was just doing what they wanted me to so I guess it fits. In the mid 00's I worked for a small printing company, our commercial work was on large lithographic machines but we still had office printers and a number of staff who knew a lot about them.

2.

Text - I don't think a single one of our office printers had been purchased new or even working, the owner just bought job lots of broken office printers for not a lot of money and then frankensteined them into working ones. We didn't often buy printer paper because we'd just cut leftovers from the factory to suitable sizes for the office. Overall our office printing costs were extremely low despite the fact that we printed tens of thousands of pages a year. I was a general office dogsbody, amon

3.

Text - An office printing management service had got our number. They were offering a completely managed service where they loaned the machines, supplied the consumables, took care of everything and you just paid per print - great for some companies, expensive and unnecessary for us. When they first started ringing I kept telling them "sorry, we aren't interested, please remove us from your list" or "we're a printing company, we don't need managed printing services, please take us off your list"

4.

Text - caller was convinced he could save us money regardless of all that, I guaranteed him he couldn't, as I doubted we paid more than a penny a page. Naturally he didn't believe me, as far as he was concerned if I was answering the phone I was the office junior (no-one important answers the phone) who had no idea how much printing actually cost, and just too stubborn and/or stupid to put him through to someone that mattered and if he persisted eventually he'd get through to the right person wh

5.

Text - "Right, fine, sure, you can book a meeting for your reps but I guarantee it will be a complete waste of their time". I scheduled them a meeting with the "office manager" (me) on a Friday afternoon when I'm the only one in the office so I won't be too busy and it'll be a diversion. The reps arrive, I show them into the office, they are clearly thinking we spend a lot on printing because we have so many damn printers and I gave a rough idea of how much we get through in the office, they giv

6.

Text - Paraphrased conversation: Me: Not completely sure, think it's around £100-200 a year. Rep: Nah it'lI be a lot more than that with the amount of printing you do, is that just the paper? Me: No, that's just ink and toner. Rep: (looks sceptical) Well there's the paper too Me: To be honest we mostly cut down leftover paper from the factory or sometimes suppliers give us a few cases for free

7.

Text - Rep: OK, right, so what about the initial costs of the machines, if you average it out over the lifetime of prints rather than considering it just as capital expenditure it can make up a significant portion of your printing costs - this photocopier for example, it's a few years old now and you're looking at about £12,000 to replace it with a similar spec machine, so with our service you can avoid that capital expense. Me: The owner buys them broken and repairs them, most of the printers o

8.

Text - Rep: ...and the ongoing maintenance costs Me: :| Rep: . then there's the costs and lost productivity of downtime to consider... He is trailing off at this point, it's clearly part of his rehearsed spiel but he can also see downtime isn't an issue when we bizarrely have more printers than computers. Rep: There's absolutely no point us being here is there? Me: No, I'm afraid not. That was repeatedly explained to the guy who set up the meeting, but he said your company won't stop cold callin

9.

Text - The reps agree it is a complete waste of time, have a bit of a frustrated laugh about the call centre and say it's not the first time they've been sent to completely pointless meetings because the call centre folks get their commission based on the quantity not quality of the meetings they set up. They don't bother giving me their quote. I never heard from the company again.

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Tagged: printing , time , funny stories , work , wasted , paper , lol , company , printer , funny fails

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Driver Teaches Road Rager A lesson In Petty Revenge

Nothing melts our icy hearts like reading a story about a driver having to deal with some road rager that couldn't keep their stuff together, for like a minute (if that), and ends up being the butt end of a petty revenge. It's a beautiful thing, really. A lost art form.

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Text - r/pettyrevenge u/-avenged- • 7h + Join 1 3 1 1 So you're not in a hurry? Okay then I guess you don't need to overtake, right? A bit of context - right-hand drive country, rightmost lane on the freeway is the fast/overtaking lane and you're to give way to faster vehicles regardless of how fast they're going, even if you're at the speed limit. Basically you have no right to police anyone's speed as a civilian.

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Text - Unfortunately, half the drivers here will happily hog the right lane even with the road ahead clear, and justify it as being within the speed limit (totally ignoring the rule about giving way). It's almost a daily occurrence and frankly it's frustrating because these guys just like to be on the fast lane without actually being fast, so they choke up everyone else behind. It's not uncommon to see a whole line of drivers picking up when that one hogger ahead finally changes lane, not becaus

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Text - I wait for an opening on the left, drop two gears, and overtake him. Then I ease off the throttle and cruise even slower than he was doing. Road hogger gets annoyed after awhile and switches to the middle to overtake. But l'm prepared for that, having scouted the road in front.

4.

Text - A little ahead of me are slow vehicles in the middle and left lane: A small truck in the middle lane and two bikes on the left going parallel to each other, all 3 doing 20 or 30 below the limit. Side by side. Perfect. I drop 2 gears and make sure to keep pace with the road hogger, modulating my throttle input until l'm about rolling up alongside the small truck, and then I let off the gas and pace the two slow vehicles in a very lazy 5th gear. Road hogger has absolutely nowhere to go on t

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Tagged: revenge , driving , petty , ridiculous , Reddit , FAIL , cringe , cringeworthy

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Weird Rules that Exist for Specific Reasons

Just about every workplace has a special rule that exists just because of something one person did. From warning labels to work policies, every strange rule started off as a unique and horrible adventure. Human stupidity is the only resource it's impossible to run out of, so there's a rich deposit of things that exist just because people are dumb.

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Text - TheBrontosaurus 12.2k points · 14 hours ago "Absolutely no roller skates in the lab" My husband worked for a private lab startup and half the women there did roller derby. The lab was (as many are) a repurposed warehouse with nice smooth concrete floors. One of the women thought it would be fun to skate between machines. She got a lot done but the boss figured osha wouldn't be too thrilled so the sign went up a few days later. You could still wear your skates in the break room.

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Text - 406_Not_Acceptable 10.0k points · 15 hours ago 為2 I blame Johnny Knoxville for this, but "toilets are for display purposes only". pm_haiku 4.7k points · 11 hours ago No... talked to an employee at a kitchen / bathroom design store. Potty training kids are notorious for using any toilet, plumbing or not. They are usually very proud of it too, to the embarrassment of their parents.

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Text - fatbean100 309 points · 11 hours ago I work in healthcare. Having a personal relationship with your client is a big one...We had a caregiver marry a client's spouse. I go over professional boundaries during orientations at least ten times.

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Text - Filthy_rags_am_I 10.0k points · 13 hours ago On an AirFrance flight from Morocco to Mauritania, the flight attendant gave the safety brief in French at first. My french is not good but my ears pricked up when I heard the words "feu de camp." I obviously discounted my translation as misunderstanding the brief until she went into the brief in English. We were given the standard safety brief on all aircraft, but at the end we were specifically reminded that there are to be no cooking or camp

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Text - macyxpress17 9.7k points · 15 hours ago 3 Pharmacy worker here. We have to specify to unwrap suppositories BEFORE insertion. Apparently someone thought the foil was part of it.

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Text - aiyahhjoeychow 7.9k points · 12 hours ago Last year's company christmas party email specifically stated to bring an extra pair of pants if you will be urinating in the first pair.

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Text - AsboZapruder 20.9k points · 15 hours ago · edited 5 hours ago O O 4 e S 2 & 3 More Remove baby before collapsing stroller. Edit: For those asking what happens if you do this, I contacted some manufacturers who assured me that they tested it and that the strollers will be perfectly fine.

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Text - MisfitMishap 6.3k points · 15 hours ago 3 "Never iron clothes while they are being worn" Or the more fucked up "Do not use for drying pets" on the microwave.

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Text - Somkeythedog591 6.3k points · 15 hours ago E Please do not add dish detergent to the water fountains. pm_haiku 3.0k points · 11 hours ago Once witnessed someone dumping a whole box of soap (not sure if it was laundry, dish or other) into a mall fountain. The bubbles were 6 feet high before they shut it off.

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Text - wpascarelli 5.7k points · 13 hours ago "Don't take (prescription drug) if your allergic to (same drug)."

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Text - NarrowSeaworthiness8 5.5k points · 12 hours ago Since Covid and things going digital, we now have a 'You must wear clothes' rule...and we already had a pretty casual dress code.

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Text - kickassnchewbubblegm 5.4k points · 13 hours ago No rings on ship decks. They can get caught and deglove your finger, which is exactly as horrid as it sounds.

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Text - Strive_to_Thrive 4.5k points · 11 hours ago I had the same Biology professor for Bio I 2 and II. Because of me, the Bio II power point included a new excuse that wouldn't be accepted for missing/late work: "My drunk room mates threw it out while cleaning!"

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Text - Dabistar 4.5k points · 13 hours ago When I worked at a warehouse, I was told that we can't ride pallet jacks like scooters.

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Text - SteveCorpGuy4 3.5k points · 11 hours ago "Do not put 14 rolls of toilet paper in the toilet" -Walmart 2019

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Text - iworethedressforhim 3.2k points 11 hours ago · edited 4 minutes ago For my fellow scientists: Transferring chemicals by mouth (mouth pipetting) is forbidden.

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Text - bongokapiguana 2.7k points · 13 hours ago You're not allowed to bring vuvuzelas into a Metallica concert. I really just want to know the story.

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Text - SchnarchendeSchwein 2.2k points · 10 hours ago Do not dress game (e.g. deer, pheasant) in dormitory kitchens. I wonder who dragged a deer into the dorm and cut it up for venison...

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Text - rawr_nickie_rawr 2.1k points · 12 hours ago Used to work in a big name book store. In the office we had a huge sign saying "no boiled eggs allowed in staff office"

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Text - TraderOats 1.6k points · 13 hours ago · edited 8 hours ago There was this one residence hall on campus where we had to inform students on move-in day not to twist their room key a certain way into their bathroom door otherwise they could possibly get locked in if closed. They were encouraged just to use the inner lock bolt body system. Students got charged $5, after one free pass, if a staff member got a call and had to rescue them from trapping themselves in their own bathroom. Working i

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Text - Midnight_Poet 1.5k points · 9 hours ago The ten-bin bowling alley in Geelong* implemented a "Patrons must not play blindfolded" rule The manager claims it was for safety reasons... but I will always know in my heart it was solely because I beat him three games in a row wearing a blindfold.

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Text - cakeishsnake 1.5k points · 13 hours ago My father's hometown, Marion, Ohio, had a rule that you couldn't eat a donut while walking backwards. If I remember correctly, it had something to do with attracting police horses to lure them away from the police.

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Text - Aerosmith101 828 points · 11 hours ago In California "it is illegal to hunt deer with explosive arrowheads"

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Text - cats_n_things 599 points - 9 hours ago At my company's picnic outing: "Anyone who jumps in the lake will be fired."

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Text - ow-my-virginity 543 points · 12 hours ago Wish I had a picture but in EVERY restroom stall at my work there is a sign that says THREE COURTESY FLUSH Flush once to prepare for elimination Flush between "the go" and the paper Flush upon completion Wonder who put that together in their head and said "I have a solution.. hear me out guys"

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Text - jtrisn1 322 points · 11 hours ago I had an English teacher that had an ironclad rule about no one touching her classroom door except for her. Rumor is that some kids super glued her classroom door shut a few years ago. This led to some of my classmates rubbing themselves all over the door when she was absent for a day and when she went on maternity leave.

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Tagged: rules , laws , work , strange , lol , warnings , funny , stupid

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Saturday, October 31, 2020

Tumblr Thread: Octopuses Are Clever Brain Lords

This quick and informative collection of Tumblr posts shines some light on the fascinating, slimy, intellectual behemoths that are the octopuses of this world. Basically, you better be ready for some eerie and deeply unsettling trickery if you're going to be a security guard at an aquarium that houses octopuses. And you better make sure that there are no bad shrimp in the batches that you're feeding them.

Check out some more gold from Tumblr with this thread about customers' mythically powerful coffee orders.