Sunday, October 18, 2020

Times People Were Awkwardly Misjudged


Sometimes people are all-too ready to make assumptions about other people, and those assumptions get in the way of empirical facts. You hope someone doesn't misjudge you so publicly that they make a total fool of themselves. Or maybe you do. Everyone knows wrongful times people were misjudged tend to stick in their memory for years.

1.

Text - KillerRex666 460 points · 2 days ago When I moved to my group home at 16 they gave me a bright pink colored room and Katy perry music to get me comfortable never said anything because I was nervous as heck being in a new home. Everyone kinda rolled with it for a few months and everyone got a giant surprise when I asked for stuff from hot topic and tickets to a Slipknot concert for Christmas.

2.

Text - Danne660 127 points · 2 days ago My 7th grade class was visiting a court for educational purposes, i was a tall person with glasses talking with the teachers when somebody who works there walks up to me to inform me that the students can enter the courtroom and to go over some rules with the people in charge of the class. The thing is i was one of the students and not one of the teachers. He looked pretty embarrassed to have mistaken a teenager for an adult.

3.

Text - FakeCraig 41.0k points · 3 days ago A O 3 29 3 2 & 3 More One time in Japan I asked an old lady for directions (in Japanese). I was still a beginner but I tried my best to speak in their language rather than asking stuff in English. So this lady assumed I spoke very good Japanese and started chatting. I tried telling her I couldn't understand and everyone else on the bus was trying to hide their laughter. The conversation went on for 10 minutes and I still have no idea what she was saying

4.

Text - MAXIMILIAN-MV 32.6k points · 3 days ago My ex wife was convinced I had another family in another state. Simply because she heard a kids voice in the background when I was traveling for work and sitting in a restaurant once. During divorce depositions, i once spent a full day being questioned, and half the questions were slightly different wordings of "so you have another family/child/spouse/kid/dependent/etc."

5.

Text - Ok-Bit-9338 22.1k points · 3 days ago A bloke from Scotland thought I was Canadian Canadian, rather than naturalised Canadian, and thought the Russian accent was how Canadians speak lol

6.

Text - FreckledPyrographer 19.4k points · 2 days ago 12 I was at a dinner party and people kept offering me drinks that I continued to decline. Eventually one woman's eyes lit up as she looked between me and my husband and then she asked, "oh my gosh, are you pregnant?" Everyone around us got quiet and I laughed and said "no, I have epilepsy." I was handed no more glasses of wine after that!

7.

Text - StraightSalt7 18.2k points · 2 days ago 3 I live in a very Hispanic/Latino area and one woman heard me speak English and yelled at me for not speaking Spanish, calling me a traitor to my ancestors and bringing shame to my past family history in Mexico and Puerto Rico. Imagine her surprise when I told her I was Arab and Middle-Eastern. Still felt guilty for not knowing Spanish for some reason Imao.

8.

Text - paleo2002 15.3k points · 2 days ago Around the holidays my students often wish me Happy Hanukah. The exchange usually follows this pattern: Student: Happy Hanukah, professor! Me: Uh ... thanks, Happy Hanukah! Student: Oh, I'm not Jewish. Me: Neither am I... but thanks for the sentiment. Наррy Holidays! I'm a college teacher in a Brooklyn school, so a lot of my students simply assume I'm Jewish.

9.

Text - BananApocalypse 14.1k points · 3 days ago I sound like a major nerd and often talk to work contacts for months over the phone before meeting them in person. I've lost count of the number of times someone has told me they thought I had glasses. But my vision is perfect.

10.

Text - Fluttermun 10.7k points · 2 days ago · edited 2 days ago F Had a friend I was crushing on that I felt liked me too. We were talking online one day and he had to go to work, he says "I'll bbl and then get to spend more time with my favorite Asian." I asked, "who's that?" For as long as I knew him he thought I was Asian. Once he found out I wasn't he ghosted me. ETA: Just to say, I'm Hispanic American lol enough ppl were wondering I figured it was a good enough reason to add it here.

11.

Text - Hwhiteeee 10.3k points · 2 days ago · edited 2 days ago 92 I started at a new high school my junior year. For starters, I looked like a hippy. I have very long wavy hair and dressed pretty boyish. Everyone, including the school administrators/nuns, assumed I was a drug dealer of sorts. I had never even seen weed or any drug at that point. I got "randomly" chosen for our schools monthly drug tests several months in a row and periodically there after. People constantly asked me for hookups

12.

Text - yeetgodmcnechass 8.3k points · 3 days ago 2 People in high school assumed I was gay based on...I'm not actually even sure. And it wasn't even like them being curious, they straight up assigned that sexuality to me and refused to believe otherwise. The things they would use as "proof" were some of the biggest stretches I've ever heard. One time they took a look at my nails and were like "you paint your nails, you're clearly gay!" My nails weren't painted, it just didn't look like I clawed

13.

Text - FloorSwimming2384 5.8k points · 3 days ago · edited 2 days ago 3 That i am clever because I like to read and wear glasses. Then they see my grades and are really suprised

14.

Text - RyeDoll13 5.6k points · 2 days ago My MIL assumed I couldn't cook, even though I've been cooking my entire life and enjoy doing it. She always insisted that we go out to eat when they visited, to the extent that she would ruin our family plans because she was that adamant about not eating at our house. Until one time, after about 3 years of being together, my husband refused to eat out and insisted that I cook. After eating she turned to my husband in surprise and said, "wow! This is real

15.

Text - Ihlita 4.2k points · 2 days ago · edited 2 days ago Usually my age. I've had people guess 15, 17, and even 12 once. I'm almost 31. Guess I walked into this one. No, I won't be sharing any pics.

16.

Text - Text - katdunks 3.0k points · 2 days ago When I was 18/19 I worked in fast food while getting my degree in Psychology. I always had customers make smart ass remarks about me when they were angry and it was usually along the lines of saying I'm uneducated, a high school drop out, etc. One day there was a specific incident that happened where a customer got mad at me about his order being wrong. He started yelling at me and saying I needed to go back to school if I couldn't get a simple ord

17.

Text - Iacon_Pearce 2.7k points · 2 days ago · edited 2 days ago I have a high voice as well as a high vocal range, but people always assume I'm a woman on the phone, it's hilarious when the scam callers say "'ma'am you have a virus on your computer" and i lower my voice an octave and proceed to scream monkey noises for a minute and a half until they hang up.

18.

Text - rissaro0o 976 points · 2 days ago i'm 26, almost 27, and female. i'm 4'11" and have resting nice face. people either baby me or are awful to me because they think i'm a teenager. people constantly ask me what grade i'm going into. i get into places for free sometimes or at kids price, especially if i'm with my family and my nieces and nephews are present. it's a blessing and a curse. but people assume a lot about me. i like it, i'm often underestimated.

19.

Text - chessshark 488 points · 2 days ago I lost all my hair and eyebrows during chemo, and someone I hadn't seen in a while asked when I was getting my Make-a- Wish, thinking I had shaved for the hell of it. They had no idea I actually had cancer

Submitted by:

Twitter Thread: Mentally Dealing with 6 Months of Global Crisis


For a lot of people, daily life doesn't look like how it used to, and it won't go back to normal tomorrow or the next day. Aisha Ahmad explains that part of getting through it is having a strategy to deal with that 6 month wall and learning how to adapt to a somehow stagnating but also everchanging reality. If it's worth anything, here are some wholesome memes.

1.

Text - Dr Aisha Ahmad @ProfAishaAhmad The 6 month mark in any sustained crisis is always difficult. We have all adjusted to this "new normal", but might now feel like we're running out of steam. Yet, at best, we are only 1/3 the way through this marathon. How can we keep going? THREAD /x 11:07 AM · Sep 20, 2020 · Twitter Web App

2.

Text - Dr Aisha Ahmad @Prof... · Sep 20 Replying to @ProfAishaAhmad First, in my experience, this is a very normal time to struggle or slump. I *always* hit a wall 6 months into a tough assignment in a disaster zone. The desire to "get away" or "make it stop" is intense. I've done this many times, and at 6 months, it's like clockwork. /2 16 t7 326 3.9K Dr Aisha Ahmad @Prof... · Sep 20 This time, our crisis is global and there is nowhere to run. That's OK. l've had to power through that 6 month h

3.

Text - Dr Aisha Ahmad @Prof... · Sep 20 This is my first pandemic, but not my first 6 month wall. So, what can I share to help you? First, the wall is real and normal. And frankly, it's not productive to try to ram your head through it. It will break naturally in about 4-6 weeks if you ride it out. /5 7 27 379 3.5K Dr Aisha Ahmad @Prof... · Sep 20 Of course, there are things we have to do. Work. Teach. Cook. Exercise. But just don't expect to be sparklingly happy or wildly creative in the middle

4.

Text - Dr Aisha Ahmad @Prof... · Sep 20 Frankly, even though we cannot physically leave this disaster zone, try to give yourself a mental or figurative "shore leave". Short mental escapes can offer respite and distance from the everyday struggle. Take more mental "leave" until you clear the wall. /8 4 27 203 3K Dr Aisha Ahmad @Prof... · Sep 20 In my experience, this 6 month wall both arrives and dissipates like clockwork. So I don't fight it anymore. I don't beat myself up over it. I just know t

5.

Text - Dr Aisha Ahmad @Prof... · Sep 20 So, dear friends, do not despair of the 6 month wall. It's not permanent, nor will it define you in this period of adversity. Trust that the magic that helped you through the first phase is still there. Take a breath & a pause. You'll be on the other side in no time. /end 228 17 539 6.8K

Submitted by:

Neanderthal Vocal Experts Are Like a Monty Python Sketch


This BBC Science piece on how Neanderthals must have sounded comes with the beats, timing and physicality of some of the greatest British humor we've seen to date. Who knows how they managed to film this completely straight-faced, but the fact that they did just makes it so much better.

Submitted by: (via BBC Studios)

Bride Expects Turtles With Lit Candles On Their Backs At Reception


Wow, it's not every day you come across a bridezilla case involving a request right out of left field to have turtles with lit candles on their backs at the wedding reception. I can appreciate the creativity, but that's about it. The turtles definitely wouldn't be stoked about having to lug around lit candles on their backs. 

1.

Text - r/bridezillas + JOIN u/sarabeth616 • 3d Turtle bride This would have been about 2000 in Florida, so crazy-times. Young bride, about 20 with an indulgent father, from a culture where the wedding was a huge show-off family event. In her religion or culture or family (I don't really know) turtles were a symbol of good luck and mere weeks before the wedding she came up with the idea to have turtles at the reception. How you ask? She wanted live turtles

2.

Text - walking around the reception hall with lit candles glued to their backs. Lit flaming candles. She saw no issues with this plan. We tried to explain that turtles carry salmonella, could get crushed or stepped on (splatted turtle is not a good look), could bite a guest or child, that it was cruel overall but extra cruel to glue candles to their backs and most importantly that a lit candle on a ground level could catch her guests on fire, or tablecloths or linens or whatever. Just a bad idea

3.

Text - decorations (decorated shells, figurines, glass, etc early Etsy type stuff). Because that wasn't good enough for our bridezilla we teamed up with some local reptile wranglers to line the walls with giant aquariums that had live turtles swimming in them. It was insane and terrifying. We had to have a staff for the turtles and extra insurance for the hall. But we pulled it off for the turtle bride. This is my first time writing out one of my bridezilla memories even though I tell them all t

4.

Text - icky-chu • 2d My sister wanted snow for her daughters winter wonderland. She hired the people who make it snow at the local theater (big city, globally known theater) that hosts the nutcracker every year. The logic was they know how to do it with out ruining the venue or causing excessive cleanup. Glad my wealthy relatives are sane with their extravagance. It was lovely for the bride and groom to walk back down the aisle in a light flurry of snow.

5.

Text - icky-chu • 2d My sister wanted snow for her daughters winter wonderland. She hired the people who make it snow at the local theater (big city, globally known theater) that hosts the nutcracker every year. The logic was they know how to do it with out ruining the venue or causing excessive cleanup. Glad my wealthy relatives are sane with their extravagance. It was lovely for the bride and groom to walk back down the aisle in a light flurry of snow.

6.

Text - OliveBug2420 • 2d Holy crap this reminds me of a wedding I went to as a kid- it was on the beach in NC. The bride loved butterflies so she wanted to do a ceremony where we would “release the butterflies" into the sky to symbolize their love taking off or some basic shit like that. They must have shipped the butterflies in from somewhere, because the officiant started handing out these wax paper envelopes from a cardboard UPS box. She gave the cue and then we were all supposed to open the

7.

Text - Crisis_Redditor • 2d I also want to point out that turtles can feel through/via their shells. It's not the same as touching skin, but they would feel that hot wax, and the candles being ripped off, among everything else. If she loved turtles so much, you'd think she'd know that. Not to mention, every one of those turtles would go find a hidey hole and pull into their shells, so it's not like they'd actually be walking around!

8.

Text - Javaman1960 • 2d Terrible, horrible idea, BUT-- there are such things as LED lights. -3-

Submitted by:

Dumb and Bad Life Pro Tips to Not Do


There's a lot of good advice in the form of life pro tips, and that just means that there's gonna be a whole lot more hilariously dumb and bad advice. Whether it's incorrect, dangerous or straight up dumb, there's a lot of bad life tips with zero shame. So if you like being eaten by wild animals and alienating everyone around you, go for it.

1.

Text - Natalie Larson @Natalie_Larson2 Shark week is actually the safest time to go to the beach because all the sharks are busy being on TV >

2.

Text - LifeAdviceLamp @life_lamp If you're being chased by an animal, just lay on the ground for 5 seconds. The 5 second rule will prevent the animal from eating you.

3.

Text - Kyle Y @KylePlantEmoji The cool thing about lying is that if someone says "hey, you lied" you can just lie again and say "no I didn't" Problem solved e 13:34 · 09 Sep 20 · Twitter for Android 28 Retweets 3 Quote Tweets 610 Likes Kyle Y @KylePlantEmoji · 2h Replying to @KylePlantEmoji What's their comeback? "That's a lie too"? No it isn't. Boom. I stay winning 4 27 5 223 >

4.

Text - Roxi Horror @roxiqt I don't know if anyone else gets anxious about phone calls but a little tip l've learned is: if there is a phone call that I don't want to make, before I start dialing the number, I carefully hold the phone in my hand & toss it gently into a lake. I hope this advice helps others.

5.

Text - Eden Dranger @Eden_Eats Hey men: Do you dry off your face after a shower with the same towel you use to dry your balls, or do you have a separate ball towel? 8:55 PM 09 Jan 19 Twitter for iPhone 103 Retweets 1,221 Likes latest internet reference Replying to @Eden_Eats You start with the face then head on down. The towel forgets everything by tomorrow.

6.

Hand - Pro Tip: How to avoid hitting your thumb with a hammer

7.

Product - pamcake @banterpapi69_ I put my gum inside this pill bottle so people think I'm taking medications and don't ask for gum. LINE-UP. TYLENOL Extra Strongth

8.

Text - Max Dylan Ash @mynameisntdave you want your dog to take a pill: 1. Get a piece of cheese 2. Eat the cheese for energy 3. Get ready to wrestle your dog

9.

Text - karanbir singh @karanbirtinna If someone tells you that they're fighting depression, be sure to tel them to "cheer up". Maybe they haven't thought of that yet.

10.

Signage - PREVENT LOCK YOUR CAR P TAKE YOUR KEYS HIDE YOUR BELONGINGS E FILL A DECOY PURSE WITH THOUSANDS OF ANGRY, POISONOUS BEES It takes <30 seconds San Francisco Police for thieves to rob your car Departmont

11.

Text - The downstairs neighbor just installed a stripper pole. 6O 169 69 Comm O Like Comment Jay Tautkus Hook a car battery to it

12.

Text - For extra cash consider robbing sex offenders.. their address is easy to find, and.. they can't own guns.. ESTC Modern problems require modern solutions

13.

Text - Borrow money from a pessimist-- they don't expect it back.

14.

Text - we faked a proposal just to get dessert ngertulitan.

15.

Comfort food - Dr. Badvice @BadHealthAdvice Dip your foods in hot oil to lubricate them before you eat. Makes digestion much smoother. GIF

16.

Facial expression - u can't disappoint ur family if you've never made them proud in the first place OPER Open Man Tue-Th M-Sa Sunda

17.

Photo caption - Joe Hendry 20m ·O If you wave your keys in front of a giant house, people will think you own it. #entrepreneur Lyf Haks

18.

Text - S Stop buying plastic skeletons for Halloween. It's terrible for the environment. Locally sourced, all natural skeletons are much more environmentally friendly.

19.

Text - Sir Michael @Michael1979 Tech tip for people who aren't as tech-savvy as me: When you press the h button on your keyboard, you get a lower-case h. But what if you want an upper-case h? Easy! Just go to the wikipedia page on horses, copy the upper-case h and paste it into your document. Problem solved W Article Talk Horse WIKIPEDIA The Free Encyclopedia Fi Сopy Ctrl+C Search Google for "H" Main page Print... Ctrl+P tion). Contents 3:10 PM Dec 18, 2019 · Twitter Web App 30.9K Retweets 1.4K

20.

Ring - SAVE MONEYONARING BYDATING ONLY MARRIED WOMEN

21.

Text - Jerps @JerpsBerps Life Hack: If you drink nothing but seawater, your body water is now international waters and you can't be charged with a crime. Sure, you'll die of dehydration. But you'll die FREE! 1:19 PM · 07/07/20 · Twitter Web App

22.

Motor vehicle - ... And Local Area Buy Sell Trade Yesterday at 8:00 PM · A 1988 Chevrolet Fire Truck $8,500 When my wife and I matched on Tinder, I knew she was way out of my league. So I took the obvious next step. I bought this 1988 Chevy C7, set her garage on fire, and ran over to play the hero. We're married now so I no longer have a use for it. Is Becky in accounting not noticing your glances? Lady in the coffee shop doesn't flirt back? Let me help with that for only $8500. With only 16,000

23.

Text - Eat a bag of popcorn kernels right before death so your family can eat popcorn after you're creamated.

24.

Text - For anybody with pest issues in their home, I found a solution: Just simply lock your doors. Bugs can't open locked doors because they're dumb as rocks

25.

Food - I was today years old when I found out how broccoli is made.

Submitted by: