Monday, October 12, 2020

Dumb Ways People Got Scars


There's no reward without a little risk, but sometimes we take huge risks for to prospect of no actual reward. Understandably, there are a lot of stupid ways people injure themselves. Sometimes people get caught up doing a dumb thing, and other times it's total chance, like biting into a particularly sharp waffle. Come to think of it, there aren't a whole lot of smart ways people injure themselves.

1.

Text - Noip26 24.2k points · 4 days ago O 2 & 8 More Don't touch the iron it's hot! Can't be that hot! Narrator: It was.

2.

Text - Redditpbl2009 19.5k points · 4 days ago 12 I was 7, mum said "don't use that knife to cut that orange" I used that knife to cut that orange. Things I learned: orange juice in a wound stings but not as much as the knowledge you can't go crying to your mum.

3.

Text - Domoradzka 19.5k points · 4 days ago a 2 @2 Boys from my class were throwing CDs like you throw frisbee. One of those hit me right between the eyes. Still got a small scar there.

4.

Text - polish-polisher 19.2k points · 4 days ago 6 2 2@2 & 3 More I used a pressure washer on my foot

5.

Text - Vnv_23 32.3k points · 4 days ago · edited 3 days ago 17 11 (F 2 6 & 21 More I have a scar on my forearm from a weaponized paper airplane I taped razor blades to and launched with a rubber band.

6.

Text - lilsaddam 17.9k points · 4 days ago Q 2 3 2 2 I have one on the back of my hand from rubbing the skin off with a pencil eraser longer than the other kid did when I was 13 just to prove I was "tough"

7.

Text - ac1dre1gn77 17.6k points · 4 days ago edited 3 days ago & 25 & 2 More My brother, sister and I all have the same kind of scar in our left eyebrow and got them at the same age. My brother opened an empty dresser drawer and smacked himself in the face, my sister ran into a brick wall and I fell off the couch onto a coffee table.

8.

Text - FluffyCowNYI 243 points 4 days ago Was a kid, only around 10 or 11. Thought my iguanas were fighting so I went to take the boy off the girl. Spoiler alert: they weren't fighting, and I don't blame him one bit for biting me when I tried to break up him getting laid.

9.

Text - theebookthief 396 points · 4 days ago · edited 3 days ago I climbed up the drain pipe of a school, put my thigh in the spike that's supposed to stop me from climbing. Didn't stop me from getting to the roof.

10.

Text - Carsto_2 15.6k points · 4 days ago 2 I was trying to squeeze between 2 cars. One of the cars must have had a jagged bumper because it sliced a 2 inch gash in my leg.

11.

Text - Dahhhkness 14.6k points · 4 days ago For my 8th birthday, a classmate got me something like a "grow your own stalagmite" kit you could buy at educational stores. Apparently, the purpose was to add water to some powder material, and use a funnel in the kit to drip it down to make your own cave features. Exciting, I know. Anyway, I kept it and the other birthday presents I got in a cardboard box in my room. Evidently, at some point, moisture got into the box and the plastic the powder was i

12.

Text - NoNamedPieceOfCrap 13.8k points · 4 days ago 2 I got cut by a vacuum. A fucking VACUUM. Deepak_javvaji 5.4k points · 4 days ago · edited 3 days ago ( Elaborate my friend. NoNamedPieceOfCrap 9.9k points · 4 days ago 2 Spider on my arm. Violently jerked arm as an attempt to get the spider off. Vacuum was there. Scar.

13.

Text - lovesbreadtakesdumpz 13.6k points · 4 days ago 22 3 5 E 6 I was in middle school and we were going to see coach carter in theaters with the boys b-ball team. Middle school me was PUMPED. While in the shower I thought "Coach Carter eh, I bet they do push ups in that movie. Imma do push ups right now" Tried to do a wall push up. Slipped, smacked my face on the edge of the tub, and split my upper lip open from mouth to nose. Needless to say, did not make it to the movie.

14.

Text - watsik27 13.1k points · 4 days ago · edited 3 days ago O 3 2 & 2 More 7 year old me was "helping" my mum iron clothes, I pulled on the cord, the iron fell and smacked me right in the face. I still have a scar above my right| eye.

15.

Text - Oddball_bfi 12.2k points · 4 days ago I got hit on the bridge of my nose by a ceramic toilet seat when I was learning to pee like a big 22 boy. Now I think about it - that's probably the best outcome there.

16.

Text - calamityjane515 9.6k points · 4 days ago 3 5 2 & 3 More i was headbanging my hair dry in the bathroom, I hit the counter. I was 8.

17.

Text - Santiago_Supremo 7.4k points · 4 days ago 22 So I broke my right arm when I was a kid then decided to put a cast on me. My skin under my cast is so itchy, its like my skin is alive. When 2 months have passed, I decided to scratch my skin under the cast using a pen since my fingers couldn't reach further areas. While doing so, I accidentally put the pen further away inside that I can't remove it under my cast since I can't reach it then I just ignored it after that thinking that it will be

18.

Text - jwolfe728 6.5k points · 4 days ago 2 2 Playing man hunt. Some idiot made the camp fire area base. I was running for my life to get there, jumped this huge pile of fire wood, tripped over something and rolled right into the fire. It could've been SO much worse, but I only burned my elbow and some of my hair. It's been probably 15 years and the scar is only about 3inches long and 1 wide.

19.

Text - bennybollocks85 6.3k points · 4 days ago 2 3 I have 2 from when I was a kid. Running around in the dark on a school roof, tripped over and ripped my hand to shreds. Jumping and sliding on a door that had been kicked in, jumped straight onto a nail that went in my knee. I was a stupid kid

20.

Text - anazambrano 5.6k points · 4 days ago · edited 3 days ago I tried cutting open a lemon with a fork Edit: the fork slipped and entered my hand, but I guess the sharp lemon theory will do! thanks for the award kind stranger!

21.

Text - Sofiasofia10 5.6k points · 4 days ago & & 2 3 Lazy me liked to iron clothes while wearing them when I was twenty years old. My left arm can testify

22.

Text - OwlsMirror 5.5k points · 4 days ago · edited 3 days ago I've got bitten by a guinea pig. Worse than that, a friend of mine was bitten by a snail. EDIT: As u/Flumpiebum pointed out, snails don't bite, as they don't have teeth, but a wee rasp like tongue. I am aware of that. But writing "getting licked by a snail until it hurt" could've let to confusion.

23.

Text - shaggiie 2.6k points · 4 days ago · edited 3 days ago Punching concrete don't ask why I did it I have no fucking clue.

24.

Text - jinxed4u 2.1k points · 4 days ago Was about 4 broke a glass jar and sat on it

25.

Text - wunderbraten 1.9k points - 4 days ago Fir needle cut me across the wrist while playing hide and seek out in the woods. A fir needle!

26.

Text - CarlDJB 1.7k points · 4 days ago My mother and brother were arguing about ice cream cone sizes, so my brother stormed off, I followed him back to a villa thing we were staying at. He didn't have a key and we didn't want to wait so I just punched through the glass in the sliding door to make an entrance. There were probably a thousand other safer ways to do it but it just seemed the quickest. Fucking ice cream cone sizes, man.

27.

Text - postmoderngeisha 1.4k points · 4 days ago Drunk, and leaned down to kiss a strange dog on the nose, of all things. 27 stitches down my nose later...

28.

Text - DenormalHuman 1.0k points · 4 days ago Ok sis, whatever you do don't put your finger in the boiling sugar because it's real damn hot, and it sticks to you. puts finger in boiling sugar.

29.

Text - Bubbblelicious 638 points · 4 days ago I have many burns from the oven from my first year at uni. I didnt have oven mittens so I just grabbed everything with my bare hands. Second year I was prepared, got mittens. First attempt as I was taking a baking tray out of the oven, it slipped from the mittens and burned my inner elbow. Still got that one...

30.

Text - xSamxiSKİLLz 593 points · 4 days ago Was in the scouts whittling a stick for funsies. Except I was pushing the blade in the wrong direction and whittled my index finger instead

31.

Text - madisoncb29 516 points · 4 days ago Kicked a refrigerator as hard as I could while wearing slippers after my sister told me she was getting a divorce. Fridge won but I did get a dent in the bastard.

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Tagged: hurt , wtf , pain , injury , lol , dumb , stories , stupid , injuries , scars

Boss Denies Employee's Necessary PC Upgrade, Malicious Compliance Ensues


It's funny how that works out. Sometimes the people who truly aren't the tech savvy ones assume that they know everything about how the technology is supposed to work. In this case though, it's nice to see that the boss didn't end up being a total monster, and if anything, by the ending it was nothing but nice wholesome vibes. 

1.

Text - r/MaliciousCompliance + Join u/Rhelyk • 11h Won't get me a much needed PC upgrade to properly do my job? OK, I'll make you watch me work XL I run the parts room at an independently owned auto body & collision repair shop, we'll call the owners Mr and Mrs Bossman. We do mostly insurance repairs and always have between 20 and 50 vehicles on-property in various states of repair, depending on how busy we are. Once the estimate for a specific vehicle is approved my job is primarily to order al

2.

Text - person there who knows you can just google a problem and somebody has usually already posted the answer on a message board from 6 years ago. I complain a lot, but in actuality I very much like my job and l've become exceedingly good at it over the years. My coworkers are generally pretty great, there's almost no office drama, I don't usually deal with the general public and the owners are mostly solid bosses, a husband and wife team. Mr Bossman runs the day-to-day shop and he is there on-

3.

Text - actually anger her. She's not a Karen in the slightest, she's just an elemental force of nature and you can bend like the reed or break like the twig. So I deal with Mr Bossman on a daily basis and only deal with Mrs Bossman a few times a week when she needs something for accounting. My default work ethic used to be set to sack-of-potatoes, but that doesn't fly with the Bossmans and ESPECIALLY not Mrs Bossman. I have learned the hard way to be very, VERY proactive in my duties, which is d

4.

Text - send an email beginning with "per our phonecall, l'd just like to remind you...". ALWAYS have an email, saved my ass so many times, (becomes relevant later) and she freaking loves me because I have become exceedingly excellent at making her job easier through diligent bookkeeping. As you also might imagine, doing all this ordering and invoicing and emailing and such demands heavy use of a computer, and for years I had to make-do with one that was never built nor intended for the task. It

5.

Text - foreman to occasionally check estimates. At any given time I had to run our estimating software plus 2 to 4 pricematching programs (and their accompanying background scanning programs) plus multiple Chrome windows for email and parts-vendors and parts-finder websites, plus image software to view repair photos or edit diagrams to email back and forth. The budget computer had 2 gigs of RAM and a dual-core 1.3Ghz processor, it could barely handle running Notepad if

6.

Text - you had the main estimating software running, and it made my job PAINFULLY slow, even at the best of times. For 4 years l'd mention it to Mrs Bossman and it was always "oh right, I keep meaning to look into that" and then nothing, but that was better than bringing it up with Mr Bossman. Mr Bossman was a former repair technician before they opened their own shop together, so anything on the office end is already good-enough until it breaks and not worth wasting more money on in his eyes, a

7.

Text - Mrs Bossman had been going back and forth with a specific vendor that was arguing against some outstanding credits and unpaid invoices that didn't match our numbers, which means they don't match my numbers, so she came into my office to ask me to look into them as normal. But today is not normal, it's especially busy and I'm already a day behind where I should be. Queue Malicious Compliance.

8.

Text - This time I decided that unlike normal, my workload was light enough (HA!!) that I totally had the time right then and there and could look them up for her right on the spot instead of bringing here the files later that day, this seemed urgent after all! So I began searching our database for the problem invoices, and very deliberately and thoroughly went through every program I possibly could, opening every estimate and reconciliation and digital footprint to pull up any scrap of even-sli

9.

Text - anew, each new refresh taking more of those long-form time-dilated seconds to complete, those seconds that drag on and on and on like waiting for a traffic light to turn. I was just being properly diligent, you must understand. "Oh, here it is" l'd say in my most-matter-of-fact perfectly-normal everything-is-fine-and-standard-and- typical voice. "yeah, that part was returned back on...huh, oh let me pull up the credit memo...oh, y'know actually that just shows when I generated the return

10.

Text - She kept her smile up, but I could tell it had shifted and she was getting annoyed "Does it always take you this long to look up the invoices?" | could tell she was getting really impatient, but she couldn't say anything about it since I WAS doing exactly what she'd just asked of me, and she does normally love that l'm this thorough, so long as she's not waiting in realtime. "Huh? Oh yeah, this is normally like this," I said casually, "it's kinda frustrating sometimes but Mr Bossman doesn

11.

Text - I continued doing this for all 5 or so problem invoices and honestly, it WAS a 100% typical thing to look up and really only took maybe 15 minutes total in the end. The only difference was making a big show of it while intentionally making it look like I wasn't making a show of it, but that was enough. "Well, I really think we need to look into getting you a new computer, this can't be good be good for production turn-arounds if it's always being this slow" Huge success. Storm of Fury suc

12.

Text - properly tracked on our end, vendor's accounting had to admit the feth-up had been on their end and we had been billed in error. I'm not always right, but even when I'm wrong, I can usually pull up a time-dated email to make it look like I wasn't wrong. Bend a little, and The Hurricane may just pass you by for a less-prepared target. She waited a few weeks to find a good deal, but sure enough I had a new computer shortly thereafter that is MUCH more capable of running everything I need to

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Tumblr Thread: Hitting Terminal Meme


Memes are a sort of ephemeral form of communication. Most of them need some sort of context in order to operate well. As this tumblr thread shows, the further we get from some, understanding them becomes a form of cultural anthropology. These ones still mostly make sense though so it's still pretty funny. For more tumblr stuff, here are some random tumblr gems to tumble through.

1.

Text - s mareebrittenford Young Man Take the breadsticks and run Man door hand hook I said young man car gun plaid-n-converse memeception elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey WE'VE HIT TERMINAL MEME bl00dlikeice @caesarianconfection fidefortitude I've said "I hate this" so many times on this website, and never actually meant it, because "I hate this" is just shorthand for 'this is an example of a meme given a twist I wasn't expecting with intent to surprise'. Which is, in of itself, a meme on this sit

2.

Text - mommacomms I THOUGHT THIS WAS A YMCA REFERENCE 2 pagesofkenna it is a YMCA reference - that's one of the 6 memes being represented here ok let me see if i can break this down easily. YMCA is the easiest place to start - the song itself has become a meme over time with people changing the lyrics to reference other pop cultural events. so YMCA is meme one (1) this first lyric replacement ("take the breadsticks and run") is a reference to the tumblr meme 'stuffing breadsticks into my purse'.

3.

Text - O jewishzevran average tumblr post contains one meme, this post, which contains six, is an outlier and should not be counted E japhers it might also just be a coincidence due to loss.jpg's format but the whole white minimalist four-panel setup is also suspiciously reminiscent of those early 2000's rage comics A maps-and-elvis-and-zelda-n-shit I was getting a political compass vibe too your-uncle-dave tag urself im man door hand hook car gun politicalcompassmemes Authoritarian Young Man Ta

4.

Product - chiribomb This was in my senior project kait-the-kitty Vena you I'm not sorry. desertdaylight EIGHT MEME COMBO biggest-goofiest-fish FATALITY inthishousewekinkshamefnaf We have officially created a new language inthishousewekinkshamefnaf ake Man hreadai Man yung I just had to do it to em

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Product - buggykin THIS FUCKING THREAD I'M GONNA CRY I LOST IT AND MAN DOOR HAND HOOK CAR GUN AND DIDN'T EXPECT MORE I'M SOBBING inthishousewekinkshamefnaf Tumblr Normal memes МЕМЕТEN inthishousewekinkshamefnaf Tumihilr Tumblr Is this a meme? OwO?

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Cartoon - garecc Tumblr Is this a meme? Oh this- Tumblr Is this a meme? this is beautiful pawsofponies Wow

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Photography - cherrysconeslut Tak Man and. irealsicks ealu irie ilan ung da car gur ak Y.LA Nan kar Tunblr Túmblr Is this a meme? teis You know I had to

8.

Photograph - plaid-n-converse I hope you know this is the most cursed addition to my post, and I love it deceit-the-snakey-snake THIRTEEN!? ninapop45 SOMEONE EDIT THIS FROM THE ORIGINAL PHOTO SAYING "this one does not spark joy" TO THIS VERSION SAYING "this one sparks joy" astral-ghoul This one sparks joy. Young Man Take the breadsticks and run Man young door hand hook said man car gun This one does not spark joy.

9.

Lane - its-eggo LEFT EXIT 12 being a normal website and making things that make sense EASLAD RI tumblr well i added my contribution :) why- fandersunite IM SCREAMING robynspreciousnest This is the most elaborate meme I have ever seen and damn am l concerned by how it makes sense. operahousebookworm "You're in your 30s, but you still understand all this meme stuff?" "Oh yeah, sure." "Can you explain it to me?" "I absolutely fucking cannot."

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Most Mindless Things People Have Witnessed


Someone on AskReddit got a thread going about the most mindless things that people have ever witnessed out in the world. The thread was inspired by the late George Carlin's infamous quote about how when you meet someone seemingly stupid, there's also another person out there that's going to be twice as dumb as they are. Just considering that, it's no wonder that the kinds of occurrences in this thread are taking place in the world. 

1.

Text - hjallday182 • 14h I witnessed a family try and set up a trampoline on concrete without the legs on, they then jumped on it for 10 minutes. The kids were crying because they thought it didn't work. Dad scratched his head for several minutes while walking on it and doing half bounces. They just built the ring and laid it on concrete. I should have taken a video. Reply 1 485 ...

2.

Text - ReleaseTachankaElite • 15h Someone at my workplace destroyed £750,000 worth of server equipment because he poured water on it Like... directly onto the motherboard Reply 223

3.

Text - AnastasiaSheppard • 10h We had a meeting at work about how many many people were doing an important yet simple process wrong, and I couldn't believe that people could get it wrong, and not realise how important it was. Right after they finished explaining, and still in the same meeting, someone asked how to do the exact same process, and another person started explaining it to them completely wrong. Reply 75 ...

4.

Text - whocares023• 8h While probably not the stupidest example, I once listened to my brother in law go on a rant about how romance books are trash. Why? Because I had a copy of HP Lovecraft's complete works sitting on my coffee table. He assumed it was romance because of the name Lovecraft. Sigh Reply 70

5.

Text - Idonknowwatamdoing • 12h I worked at a restaurant for about 2 years. At one point, we had a guy in his 60s or 70s come in and ask us why we charged for drinks. If it was so cheap for us, why couldn't we give it out free? I had to spend 5 minutes explaining to this grandfather-aged old dude why we actually had to make a profit on things. I just..60 years old and he still doesn't get it... Where did he find a rock THAT big to live under? And why is he not renting it out as an AirBNB for thi

6.

Text - Cats_Waffles • 12h People would list their home on Airbnb and get bookings, then call the helplineI worked at with infuriatingly stupid questions. "What's a browser? What's my password? How can I contact the renter? Can Airbnb please buy my house from me? Can I cancel without penalty because I found out the renter has a visible tattoo?" Good God. Reply 136 ...

7.

Text - anoncop1 • 10h Went to a t-bone accident. The striking car was at a stop sign turning left onto the main road. The main road had no stop signs. I talked to the striking vehicle and she said that she stopped and then began her turn and hit the side of the other vehicle. I told her she was at fault. She argued. She kept telling me that she stopped at the stop sign, so it wasn't her fault. She seriously did not comprehend that you have to stop AND make sure the traffic is clear to make the t

8.

Text - razOrflea • 9h I work in customer service and there have been WAY too many times where a customer calls with a billing dispute, I give them an account credit, then they call back in a week furious because the bill they called about in the first place (ie: the actual physical document itself) hasn't retroactively changed to show that the credit has been applied. People bitching because they haven't received something in the mail yet that they requested the previous day is another common on

9.

Text - Kanae_Yay • 11h When I was still teaching in university, I corrected a student before an exam during a group study-session, and his response was to be combative and snarl "how would you know"? He failed the exam and subsequently the class Reply 91 ...

10.

Text - silenceandnonsense • 13h When people get time & dates confused. For example, those who post "happy 2020 birthday America" on new years eve because they legitimately think the US is that old. Or those that don't understand how the pyramids came before Jesus because obviously the world began with Jesus. Reply 1 79 ...

11.

Text - Happy_FrenchFry • 8h Honestly working retail even for a short time makes you realize just how stupid people are A good example would be all the people who got pissed at me because I wouldn't accept their coupon for a different grocery store Reply 24 ...

12.

Text - rigby0 • 15h How absolutely unaware most people are of what's around them when they are driving. Made worse by cell phones. Reply 54 ...

13.

Text - trev2234 • 5h I work in IT. The domain controller (an important server) for one of our sites stopped responding. We rang up the moron on site whose only real job is to follow our instructions because we aren't there. He says it's been stolen. We point out that he's the only one who has access, and there's been no break in (something you'd have thought he might mention). We ask if this is his way of saying he stole it. He says no, but it is stolen. Everyone is busy so the manager drives ov

14.

Text - BOOLEAN_RADLEY • 13h I was in the Army. I've been around a lot of rock-heads. Double take "really?!" type stupidity. I remember being back the MEPS station (the medical facility where you do the physical.) Some poor kid was getting told "you scored too low on the ASVAB, you can't join until you retake and score higher" I think back. How stupid was that guy that he could not meet the Army's minimum intelligence standard. Definitely not a high bar. Reply 162 ...

15.

Text - DFWPunk • 12h A shocking number of people have never noticed that even number addresses are on l've side of the street, and odd numbers are on the other side. Especially true of Doordash drivers. Reply 67 ...

16.

Text - phpdevster • 11h I worked at Staples and did EasyTech repair work. We had a promotion where people could bring in their PCs for a free diagnostic and tuneup (which was really just a way for us to convince them they needed more RAM or other upgrades that wouldn't actually help them). A woman brought in her monitor and keyboard and mouse. Literally the three things we didn't need. I had to bring her over to the desktop computers we had for sale to get her to understand which component she a

17.

Text - Ginger_Chick • 14h When I was a librarian I frequently had full grown adults ask me the difference between fiction and non-fiction. Reply 82 ...

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